Twins Under His Tree (11 page)

She jabbed him in the ribs. “It's Thanksgiving.”

He liked the feel of her friendliness again. He'd missed her a lot over the past five months. In his email inquiries, he'd wanted to ask question after question—about the babies and about her. Yet he'd known he had to, in large part, leave her alone. He should have done that to begin with. Today, however, with her close by his side, within kissing distance, inhaling the familiar scent of her perfume, he saw keeping a wall up between them was either very smart…or very stupid. What would
an affair do to them? Was she even open to one? Were either of them really ready to move on?

After whipping the potatoes into a delicious white frenzy, Lily stuck in a spoon, took a fingerful and poked it into her mouth. She rolled her eyes. “Just right. Try some?”

He'd watched that finger go into her mouth. He'd watched her lips pucker up. He'd watched her lick it. If there weren't so many people in the big kitchen, he'd kiss her. But there were and he didn't. Instead he put his finger on the spoon, curled potatoes onto it and popped it into his mouth.

“Just right,” he agreed, his eyes locking to hers, his gut telling him they weren't finished and might never be.

Mitch barely heard the sound of scraping chairs and laughter and the clatter of silverware. He
did
hear the doorbell ring. Soon after, the door opened and he heard a woman's voice call, “We're here.”

Shep picked up the turkey on its platter and carried it to the table, explaining to Mitch, “It's Raina's mom and brother. Ryder just got off his shift.”

Mitch knew Raina's brother was a cop.

Ryder and Sonya Greystone came into the kitchen and were introduced to Mitch. Sonya said to him, “I hope you're a big eater, like Shep. I made pumpkin, apple and cherry pies, and I don't want to take any home.”

Shep gave her a bear hug. “You don't have to worry about that.”

Mitch had never experienced anything like this Thanksgiving celebration—so many people who seemed like family and really cared about each other. Then he
realized that conclusion wasn't true. When he and his buddies and families got together, it was a similar feeling. Family meant something different to everyone, and he was suddenly glad he hadn't stayed home today and eaten dinner in front of a football game.

In the next few minutes, he helped Lily transfer the potatoes from the mixing bowl to a beautiful serving dish embellished with roses and gold trim. He stared at it for a second and Lily asked, “Mitch?”

In the midst of the holiday chaos, he said in a low voice, “This dish reminds me of one my mom used when she tried to make the holidays a celebration for the two of us.”

“Holidays are supposed to be about memories and traditions and loved ones, even when they're not still with us.”

He'd walked into that one. When his gaze met Lily's, he expected to see sadness on her face. Instead, he saw an emotion more poignant.

She said, “If you'll put those on the table, I'll set the twins in their high chairs.”

In the next few minutes, everyone was seated around the huge, rectangular table. Even Joey and Roy seemed awed by the amount of food in front of them.

In the moment of quiet, Shep said, “Let's all give thanks for being together today.”

Mitch didn't know where the chain started—maybe with Shep's children—but everyone held hands and bowed their heads, remembering Thanksgivings past, grateful for the opportunity to be together like this with more than enough food for everyone to eat.

Lily had taken Mitch's hand. He intertwined his fingers with hers and she looked over at him, her eyes
questioning. He didn't have the answers to those questions. They'd have to just see where today took them.

After dinner, Mitch and Shep played a board game with Roy and Joey while Eva recorded everything she could on a video camera. Every once in a while Mitch glanced over at Eva, who was sitting on the floor beside Manuel as he rode a high-tech rocking horse. The letters of the alphabet appeared on a little screen in front of him the longer he rocked back and forth. Grace and Sophie crawled around Lily and Ellie's feet, while Raina played with her daughter in one of the play saucers.

Roy shouted, “I won,” and everyone cheered as he moved his marker into the winning block.

Mitch moved to the sofa while the boys ran to the playroom for another game. Aware of Grace crawling over to him, he smiled when she sat before him and raised her arms. He knew what that meant. It had been a while since he'd held one of the twins, a while since he'd felt as if he should.

A baby's needs always trumped overthinking, so he bent and lifted her up to his lap. At nine months she was a heartbreaker. He could only imagine how beautiful she'd be as a teenager, when someone would have to protect her from overeager guys who would date her.

Grace grinned up at him and snuggled into his chest as if she were just waiting for a place to enjoy a comfortable nap.

Ellie, who'd been talking to Raina's mother and Eva across the room, came to sit beside him. She patted Grace's leg. “Tired, little one?”

“The day's celebration has wiped her out,” Mitch said amiably. He didn't know what Ellie thought about his being here today.

“She only had a short nap this afternoon before we came.”

Mitch touched Grace's name embroidered on the front of her pale green overalls. “Did you make this?”

“Yes, I did. I finally got the website up and running last month, and I have orders.”

“So you're thinking about staying in Sagebrush?”

“That depends on Lily. Mom asked her to come back to Oklahoma and raise the twins there. That way she and my dad could see them more often and give her all the help she needs.”

Mitch remained silent. Finally he said, “Lily seemed happy to get back to work. She'd have to find a practice in Oklahoma City or start her own.”

“That's true. But Oklahoma City is a medical center. I don't think she'd have a problem starting over there.”

Grace's tiny fingers rubbed up and down against Mitch's sweater as if it were a security blanket.

“What if Lily decides to stay in Sagebrush? Will you support that decision?” Mitch asked.

“Do you think you can convince her to do that?” Ellie asked in return.

“This isn't about convincing. It's about what Lily wants and where she wants to raise her daughters.”

“You sound so removed from it. Don't you care?”

Oh, he cared. More than he wanted to admit—more than he dared to admit. “I won't persuade Lily one way or the other. She has to make up her own mind. If she doesn't, she'll have regrets.”

“She asked you here today.” Ellie's voice was almost accusing.

“I'm not sure why she did. As you know, we haven't seen each other for a while.” Ellie was the type of
woman who wanted the cards on the table, so he might as well put them there.

“You two have a connection,” Ellie said softly. “One anyone can see.”

“Anyone can?”

“You can't hide it, even though you both try.”

Mitch smoothed his hand over Grace's hair, tweaking the little green bow with his finger. “And how do you feel about that?” he asked Ellie.

“I don't think it matters how I feel.”

“Yes, it does.” Mitch could tell Ellie that she was the reason he and Lily hadn't been in real contact since June. On the other hand, she wasn't actually the root of the problem.

“Lily asked you here today without my input,” Ellie confided.

Mitch gave Ellie a regarding look. “What would your input have been?”

Ellie kept silent.

So he said something he probably shouldn't have. “I think Lily feels she needs your permission to move on.”

That widened Ellie's eyes. “You're not serious.”

“Yes, I am. We probably shouldn't even be having this conversation, but I thought it would be better if we cleared the air. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I do know Lily deserves to be happy.”

He'd said too much. He'd tried to take himself out of the equation as much as possible, but that was difficult when he thought he had a stake in it. It was difficult when he felt as if Lily and the twins owned a piece of his heart.

Seeing them talking, Lily crossed to the sofa with
Sophie in her arms. Sophie was rubbing her eyes and her face against Lily's blouse. “I think we'd better get these two home. In a few minutes they're either both going to be asleep or fussing because they're tired.”

Mitch carefully picked up Grace and stood with her. “I'll help you pack the car. I should be going, too.”

“I can take Grace,” Ellie said, reaching for the little girl.

Mitch aided in the transfer, wondering just how seriously Lily might be thinking about moving to Oklahoma City.

While Ellie watched the twins, Lily and Mitch took baby paraphernalia outside to Ellie's car. The weather had turned colder. The late-November wind blew across the parking area and through the corral across the lane. Lily opened the car door while Mitch slid the high chairs inside, along with a diaper bag. At the trunk, he adjusted the stroller to lay flat.

After he shut the lid, he regarded Lily in the glow of the floodlight shining from the back of the house. “Ellie tells me Troy's mother wants you to move to Oklahoma City.” He'd never intended to start like that, but the question had formed before he could think of anything else to say.

Although she wore a suede jacket, Lily wrapped her arms around herself as if to ward off a chill. “I'm surprised she told you that.”

“Were
you
going to tell me?”

“I don't know. After the past few months…” She trailed off. “If I went to Oklahoma City, you wouldn't have to worry about your promise to Troy.”

“Is
that
why you'd move?”

She turned away, as if making eye contact was too difficult, as if she couldn't be as honest if she did.

But he clasped her arm and pulled her a little closer. “What do you want, Lily? A different life in Oklahoma?”

“I'm thinking about it. I have good friends here, but Troy's parents are Sophie and Grace's grandparents. I'm not sure what the right thing to do is.”

“Whatever makes you happy.”

She gave a short laugh. “And how do we ever really know what that will be?”

He'd meant it when he'd told Ellie he wouldn't try to persuade Lily one way or the other. They'd have to set aside the question of her moving…for now. “I'm glad you asked me to come today,” he said after a long pause.

“Are you?” Lily's voice was filled with the same longing Mitch felt. They'd been apart and he'd hated that. He just didn't know if they should be together.

“I never experienced a holiday quite like it,” he explained. “I haven't had a place to go for holidays in a long time.”

“I think Sophie and Grace remember you. They're so comfortable with you.”

“And how comfortable are you with everyone watching?” He swore under his breath. “That didn't come out right.”

“Yes, it did. I know what you mean. But we weren't really together today, were we?”

He had to make a decision now, which way was he going to go with Lily. He could just cut her out of his life. But wasn't that in itself making a decision for her?

“How would you like to go to the tree-lighting
ceremony on Sunday at the library? We can show the twins all the lights and let them listen to their first Christmas carols.”

She only hesitated a few moments. “I'd like to do that.”

He didn't ask her if she'd ever been to the tree-lighting ceremony with Troy. He didn't want to know. Although he longed to take her in his arms and kiss her, he didn't. This time, they were going to take small steps toward each other to find out if that's where they wanted to be.

Maybe Sunday would be a beginning. Maybe Sunday would be an end.

At least he'd know one way or the other.

“I
t pays to have connections,” Mitch said with a grin as he stood inside the library, peering out the long window with Sophie in his arms. Raina's mother was the head librarian and had told them they could settle inside for as long as they wanted.

Lily was holding Grace, peering outside beside Mitch. Her arm was brushing his. Every time it did, he remembered everything about their night together—everything about her hands on his body and the shake-up of his soul. Not for the first time he wondered if he wanted Lily simply because he shouldn't have her.

Mitch suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and tensed. As he turned, he relaxed. “Hello, Mr. Fieldcrest. Are you and your wife going to enjoy the tree-lighting ceremony?” Tucker Fieldcrest and his wife owned the
B&B where his friends would be staying this coming weekend.

“We surely are. I was going to call you this week, but now I don't have to. I just wanted to tell you, we're all ready for your guests.”

Mitch introduced Tucker to Lily. They all chatted for a few minutes and then Tucker motioned to the crowd gathering outside. “They're almost ready to light the tree. You'd better get your place. I'll see you Friday night.” With a wave, he left through the library's huge wooden double doors.

“He seems very nice,” Lily said, after the older man had gone outside.

“He and his wife Belinda are good people. They're cutting us a break, only charging half the normal room rates. They insisted they'd be empty this time of year anyway, and our veterans deserve more than reasonable room charges.”

“Absolutely,” Lily said emphatically, and Mitch knew what she was thinking about. Yet she surprised him when she asked, “So, do you still need activities for the kids? Would you like me to come over and paint faces?”

“I roped Matt into playing Santa Claus and I was hoping that would take up the whole afternoon. But if you're still willing, I'm sure everyone would appreciate it.”

“I'm still willing.”

To do more than face paint?
he wanted to ask. All the words that passed between them seemed to have an underlying message. When he'd asked her to come along tonight, he'd thought of it as a sort of date. But did she
think about it that way, too? Did having the twins along make it merely an outing they could enjoy together?

He'd drive himself crazy with the questions, especially when Lily looked at him with those big, blue eyes and a smile that again brought back their night together in vivid detail. It was ironic, really. They'd had sex in the dark but every moment of it was emblazoned in his mind in living color. Sometimes he thought he could see those same pictures running through Lily's thoughts, but that could be wishful thinking.

“Let's get Sophie and Grace bundled up so we don't miss their expressions when the tree lights glow. Do you have your camera?”

Lily patted the pocket of her yellow down jacket. “Right here. But I don't know how we're going to hold them both and take their picture at the same time.”

“We'll figure out something,” he assured her. Sophie suddenly took hold of his nose and squeezed it a little, babbling new consonant sounds as she did. He laughed. “Getting impatient, are you? Come on, let's cover that pretty blond hair with your hat and hood so you stay warm.”

Once the girls were dressed, Mitch and Lily pushed the stroller down the side ramp to the sidewalk. A fir tree stood on the land in front of the eighty-year-old, two-story brick library. The storefronts farther up the street were all lit up with multicolor lights, more than ready for Christmas shoppers. Grady Fitzgerald owned a saddle shop in the next block and Mitch thought he caught a glimpse of him and Francesca with their little boy on the other side of the tree. Lily waved to Tessa and Vince Rossi, who'd brought their children, Sean and Natalie, to watch the ceremony.

“Gina and Logan are here somewhere,” Lily said to Mitch, leaning close to him so he could hear her amidst the buzz of people talking.

She pulled the camera from her pocket. “You hold the stroller and I'll take your picture.”

“Lily, I don't think—” But before he could protest, before he could say he hated to have his picture taken, she'd already done it. Turnabout was fair play, so he motioned her to the back of the stroller, snagged the camera from her hand and took more than one of her with her girls. Sophie and Grace seemed to be mesmerized by the people passing by, the stand with the microphone where the mayor stood, the wind carrying the smells of French fries, corn dogs and hamburgers from the food cart parked not far away.

As the mayor, Greta Landon, came to the mike and started her remarks, Mitch handed the camera back to Lily. He swooped Sophie out of the stroller and said, “If you hand me Grace, I can hold them both up, and you can take their picture when the lights go on.”

After Lily lifted Grace from the stroller, she transferred her to Mitch. As she stood close, she tilted her chin up and was almost near enough to kiss. She said, “This was a great idea. Maybe we'll start a tradition.”

If you don't leave Sagebrush for Oklahoma City,
he thought. He believed he was so good at not giving anything away, but he must have been wrong about that. Because Lily backed away as if she couldn't reassure him she would be staying in Texas. Her impulsive exclamation had been just that—impulsive.

Just like their night together.

At that moment, the mayor announced, “Let this
year's Christmas tree glow brightly for all the residents of Sagebrush.”

The tree came alive with blue, red, green and purple balls. Strand after strand of tiny white lights twinkled around those. Mitch witnessed the expression on Sophie and Grace's faces, and their wide-eyed awe was priceless.

Instead of looking at the tree when the Christmas carols began playing, Lily's face was Madonna-like as she gazed at her girls. Then her eyes locked to his. Something elemental twisted in his chest.

The twins already seemed to be developing their own language. They babbled to each other and the gibberish was almost in a cadence that Mitch thought of as language.

Lily leaned in and kissed both of their cheeks, then snapped a picture of Mitch holding them. “What do you think of all those lights?”

They waved their hands at each other and at her.

All of a sudden, Hillary was at Lily's side, carrying her own daughter. “Look who's here,” Hillary said, taking in Mitch, Lily and the twins. “Since when are you two seeing each other outside of the office?”

“Since tonight,” Mitch answered, matter-of-factly. “We're sharing some Christmas cheer. How does Megan like all this?” If there was one thing Mitch knew, it was that talking about someone's children always took their mind off anything else.

Still, Hillary gave him a knowing look. “She loved it, but now I think she's ready for bed. Besides, I don't want her out in the cold too long. How about you? Are you going to go back into the library for some complimentary hot chocolate?”

He and Lily hadn't discussed that, but he imagined what her answer would be. “We're headed home, too.”

Hillary shifted Megan to her other arm. “Well, it was good to run into you without your lab coats on. I'll see you tomorrow.” Then as quickly as she'd appeared, she was gone.

If Lily was going to take issue with what he'd told Hillary, this wasn't the time or place. He said, “Let's get them into the stroller and roll them to the car, unless you really would like some hot chocolate first.”

As Lily took Sophie from him, she replied, “We can make hot chocolate back at the house.”

Hmm. They just might be in for that discussion after all.

 

Lily had been surprised tonight at what Mitch had said to Hillary. For all those months he'd seemed as far away as the North Pole. But when he'd asked her to come along with him tonight, he seemed to have established a now-or-never attitude. However, everything was unsaid. Everything was up in the air. Everything was up to them.

How should she feel about his proprietary statement? Were they going to be a couple? Could Mitch make a lifelong commitment if that's where they were headed? What if she decided she shouldn't stay in Sagebrush? All the questions were terrifying, along with the life changes they could provoke.

But for tonight?

The warm and fuzzy feelings from the tree-lighting ceremony lingered as they drove home.

After they pulled into the drive, gathered the girls and the stroller and rolled them up the front walk, Mitch
asked, “How will your housemates feel about us coming back here?”

“I guess we'll find out.”

Her flippant reply almost seemed like a challenge.

Once in the living room, he found Angie and Ellie watching a forensic drama on TV while they strung popcorn to use as garlands.

“You're getting ready for Christmas?” he asked as a hello.

Ellie looked up, shot him a forced smile, then went back to stringing.

Angie responded to his question. “We all like to do home-crafted decorations, so it can take a while.”

Without thinking twice, he took Sophie from her stroller, unzipped her coat, took off her mittens and hat and picked her up.

“Ma-ma-ma-ma,” she said practically, as her sister chimed in with the same syllable.

He laughed and asked Lily, “Two bottles upstairs?”

She nodded.

“If you need some help…” Ellie called.

“You look like you're busy,” Mitch said. “We'll be okay.” Taking the lead was second nature to him. Would Lily mind? She didn't give any indication that she did.

“I put bottles together,” Angie said. “They're in the refrigerator in their bedroom.”

Mitch glanced over his shoulder as he carried Sophie upstairs, right behind Lily with Grace. He wasn't surprised to see Ellie's gaze on them.

In the twins' bedroom, Mitch and Lily stole glances at each other while they fed the girls and readied them for bed. They'd been super-aware of each other all night, but hadn't been able to act on that awareness. Now they
still couldn't, with Sophie and Grace to care for and Ellie and Angie downstairs. The whole situation was frustrating, titillating and exciting. Mitch knew he'd thrown down a figurative gauntlet tonight, and Lily had to make the decision whether or not she wanted to pick it up. She could deny their bond as she had once before. Maybe he was just waiting for her to do it again. Maybe he wanted the safer route. Maybe living alone was preferable to caring about a family. Maybe he didn't think he deserved a family. Because he had come home but others hadn't?

It was a lonely route, yet he was used to it.

Once the twins were comfortably settled in their cribs, once Lily had kissed them both and he'd simply laid a protective hand on each of their foreheads, Lily and Mitch left them to sleep by the glow of the night-light and stepped into the hall. This was about the most privacy they were going to have.

At least that's what he thought until Lily said, “I need to turn on their monitor in my bedroom.”

Lily's bedroom. Visions raced through his mind.

Lily went ahead to her nightstand and switched on the monitor. He stepped over the threshold and shut the door.

She didn't move and neither did he for a moment. Then he saw that flicker in her eyes, the memory of what it was like when they were together. He covered the two steps to her, lifted her chin and looked deep into her eyes. “I told Hillary we were dating.”

“I know.”

“Do you have an opinion about that?”

“I didn't protest.”

“No, mainly so you wouldn't embarrass us both.”

“That wasn't the reason.”

“What was?” he demanded, tired of waiting, yet knowing that with Lily all he could do was wait until she was truly free of yesterday.

“Because I want to spend time with you, Mitch—
with
the twins…
without
the twins. I can't tell you everything's going to go smoothly. I still miss Troy.” She looked down at her hand, and he did, too. Her wedding ring glistened there, as real now as the day Troy had slipped it on her finger. “And
I'm
used to being alone,” he admitted.

“Do you like that?” she asked with the spirit that was all Lily.

He almost laughed. Almost. But the question had been a serious one. “I used to think being alone was the only way I could deal with my life on my terms.”

“And now?”

“I'm open to finding out differently. That's all I can give you right now.”

The expression on her pretty face said she didn't know if that was enough. He didn't, either. But as he bent his head, kissing her seemed a lot more important than the future.

He brushed his lips against hers, maybe to test her, to see how much she wanted. But the test became his to pass or fail. She responded by twining her arms around his neck and slipping her fingers into his hair. He'd wanted to take everything slowly with Lily. This time they'd take it easy. This time he'd make sure she knew what she was doing. This time, she wouldn't want to deny what was going on between them.

But the moment her fingers tugged at his hair as if
she wanted more, undeniable desire rushed through his body.

Making himself slow down, he kissed her neck, and asked, “How much time do you think we have?” He leaned back to check her expression, to see if she felt guilty about being in her room with him, to see if what her housemates thought mattered.

“A few minutes,” she responded. “Ellie and Angie will wonder if everything's all right.”

A few minutes wasn't enough time. So he didn't waste a moment more of it. His mouth came down on hers possessively, coaxing, teasing, plundering. Still the moan that came from Lily's throat gave the kiss more power as they both gave in to the primal quality of it. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, felt her soft, full breasts against him, and knew he was more aroused than he'd ever been. His hands slid down her back and he pressed her into him. She shivered and the trembling of her body made him wonder what he was doing. Their kisses awakened him to the raw need inside him. What if that need could never be satisfied? What if Lily, too, turned away from his scars? After all, the last time, they'd made love in the dark. What if he had a nightmare while he was lying beside her? How would she react?