Twisted Up (16 page)

Next, she put her bra on. With her yoga over the last few months, she’d actually gone down a size, but her breasts were still a bit on the big side. A double-D was something she’d be glad to keep though, especially with her trimmer waist and leaner hips and legs. She liked the difference in her body and knowing there was a man out there that found her irresistible… “The cowboy ain’t too damn bad himself,” she said into the room.

After zipping up her suitcase and tugging it to the floor, she took her blouse from the hanger in the closet and slipped it on. It was soft and cool against her skin and she couldn’t help but wonder what it might feel like without a bra under it. She could only do such a thing in private, but imagined it would tease her nipples to exquisite hardness.

She stepped into her shoes as she buttoned her shirt, and then took one final look in the mirror, this one full length outside the bathroom door. She looked professional and even a bit well sexed. That thought brought a sly grin to her face. Well sexed indeed. Who knew masturbation could make a woman feel that way? Certainly not her, at least not before this moment.

She’d always masturbated, but had to keep it a very private thing when she was married. Her ex hadn’t liked the idea of it, had issues about it from a very old-fashioned upbringing, so she’d kept it to herself, usually when he wasn’t at home or when she was in the shower, times when she knew he wouldn’t walk in on her.

Staring at herself, she pondered the things that were a part of her past but that had shaped how she felt and looked at things in the present time. She had been married. She had dated before she’d gotten married. She had lost her virginity in her teens, and she certainly hadn’t been a prude of any kind. She’d lived and experienced things, but something about right now, right then, had a profound effect on her and the direction of her life.

She figured she would always learn new things about herself, but at the same time realized it didn’t mean she couldn’t be content or happy along the way. Nor did she have to do it alone if she didn’t want to. She had someone who would hold her hand when she wanted, someone who would hold her up when she needed it and someone to just talk to her.

She hadn’t been sheltered, but the last few months sure as hell felt like waking up from a very long sleep. She smiled at the woman in the mirror again, and then grabbed her purse and laptop bag. She’d come back for her luggage after class was over and head to the airport, hoping she’d make the right decision when the time came. It was time to put up or shut up.

Justin slammed his hand on top of his phone. The damn thing was ringing. He lifted his head and with squinted eyes, tried to focus on the clock. Shit. He’d been asleep for almost seven hours. Sure as hell didn’t feel like it. The phone started ringing again, and he flopped back down, his heart kicking up speed in the hopes it was her. A quick glance at the screen showed it wasn’t. Damn.

He pushed the button to talk. “Yeah?”

“We got that shipment of beer today, and I don’t have the time to go out there and inventory it.”

“Didn’t think it was supposed to get here until tomorrow?”

“Wasn’t. But it’s here now and taking up space. I’m doing good on my own in the bar, but can’t leave it. The Saturday night crowd is bound to pick up soon. I need you to come in and deal with the new stuff.”

“All right. I’ll be in in about thirty minutes.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and smothered a yawn. “Make that forty-five.”

He turned the phone off and waited for the home screen to show itself. No messages from her either. Shit. He tossed it to the bed and slid out to scan the room for a pair of jeans. He wasn’t in the mood to care what he looked like so long as it was right about even with presentable.

“I bet she went back home. Damn woman is gonna drive me insane.” Finding the pair he was looking for, he stepped into them. “She’s gonna make me go get her again. This time I will use the fucking rope and tie her ass to the bed.”

Grabbing a shirt from the closet, he shrugged into it and snapped it up the front. “Not the pretty green rope either. Nope, going to use the rough stuff on her. Teach her to make decisions that aren’t good for her. Keep her from running away.”

Hands through his hair to smooth it out from sleep, and a brushing of his teeth, he grabbed his boots from beside the head of the stairs, along with a pair of socks and headed down. Coffee would have to wait until he got to the bar. Or hell, maybe he just needed to go ahead and pop the top on one of those fancy new beers they’d just gotten in. He hadn’t tried blueberry beer yet. Might be good. Might wash away the grumpy taste in his mouth.

She needed to learn that he was good for her—that she had nothing to fear from him. Damn woman.

Keys in one hand, wallet and sunglasses in the other, and he was out the door. Shit. The phone was still upstairs. Oh well. If she called, she could damn well wait until he got home.

“You got up on the wrong side of the bed, huh?”

“What’re you doin’ here?” he groused at his younger brother.

“Takin’ care of the horses and the cattle that had strayed to your side of the ridge. Been workin’ my tail off while you’ve been catchin’ your beauty sleep.”

“Oh piss off, man.” There was little to no heat behind his words, but the sentiment was sound. He didn’t want to be teased or joked around with. The more he thought about Ella and the shit she was putting his heart through, the grumpier he got. The problem was if she’d only open up and let him in, maybe he could help with whatever fear she had. He knew she wasn’t doing this on purpose to try to hurt him and he hadn’t gotten to the hurt stage yet, but too much more of this uncertainty…

“How’d things go with your girl?”

Justin shrugged and shook his head. “Great until she left. Now she’s thinkin’ too much.”

“How do you know that?”

“She always thinks too much. She wants to know everything is going to work out the right way this time instead of the wrong way again.”

Joe started coiling the rope he held in his hands. “Maybe she doesn’t want to make this a real, everyday, permanent thing. Maybe she just wants to keep it long-distance. You know, a weekend fling instead of somethin’ more. You are kind of a pain in the ass to be around all the time.”

“Maybe,” Justin said absently, his mind turning its wheels over those same thoughts. He wasn’t willing to hedge those bets yet. It was still a wait and see thing. If she went back home to Alabama, they were going to be havin’ a come to Jesus talk about their relationship. Not that he was religious by any stretch of imagination other than to make Ella scream the good Lord’s name when she was riding wave after wave of heavenly pleasure.

Shit. He was such a sap and so head over heels for that woman.

“I got a bit more to do ’round here. You headed into the bar?”

“Yeah. New shipment of beer.”

Joe nodded. “I’ll be headed in soon to the feed store. That mare is going to give birth any day now.”

“Doc been out here?”

“Other day while you were gone. He said Mable is doing fine, just got to keep an eye on her and then make her as comfortable as possible until he can get to us.”

“Okay. Well, when you get done at the store, stop in the bar. We need a guinea pig for the new beers.”

“Oh hell, no. I ain’t tryin’ no fancy-dancy fruity crap that someone’s passin’ off as beer. Just gimme a Bud.”

Justin gawfed out a laugh. He sort of felt the same way as Joe, but he was at least willing to give it a try. “See ya.”

Joe nodded and the brothers each turned in different directions. Justin was half tempted to go back to the house for his phone, to see if she’d sent a message yet or not, but he didn’t. He just kept walking to his truck. He’d know what she was up to sooner or later, and if she wasn’t coming back, he’d just rather know later.

Chapter Nine

Ella took a deep breath and straightened her skirt and blouse for about the tenth time since she’d stepped up on the porch. Who knew it would be so hard to do this? Who knew she’d be so damn scared? He wouldn’t reject her or turn her away, so why was her heart pounding and her body breaking out in a cold sweat? Why was uncertainty curling in her belly?

When he’d come to get her and she left with him, she hadn’t been scared at all.
Because you just thought it was another weekend in bed with him and this is different.
The voice in her head was right. Didn’t mean she was happy about it, but she’d been going in the same circles with him for too long. Change was good. She knew this, believed it. It was time to put that belief into practice and embrace this particular change.

She raised her hand to knock, but the voice from behind stopped her.

“If you’re lookin’ for Justin, he’s not here.”

Ella turned and came face to face with a younger version of her boyfriend. Boyfriend? Lover. Justin was her lover. Boyfriend implied… But didn’t lover imply…? Ah, hell. She focused on the man in front of her. This one looked just as good as Justin and then some. Must run in the family. “Do you know where he is?”

“They needed him at the bar for somethin’. You Ella?”

She nodded. “I am.”

He grinned, and in that moment, he could have been Justin. He took his Stetson off and slicked his hair back in a gesture that made her ache because it was so close to what Justin had done the other day when he’d poured water over his head. She had it so very bad for her cowboy.

“We were beginning to think you didn’t really exist. Our folks have been anxious to meet you. I’m Joe, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you.” She didn’t know what to say to the other comments he made so she just took the steps down from the porch to the ground. “Maybe we can remedy that sometime, meeting your parents, I mean.” She extended her hand, and his larger one wrapped around it.

Up close, his eyes were more hazel than Justin’s green eyes. He had a bit of blond scruff on his chin where Justin’s would be brown. “Can you tell me if he’ll be back soon or where the bar is? I really need to see him.”
Before I lose my nerve altogether and just head home.

He settled his hat back on his head. “I take it he wasn’t expecting you to show up?”

“No, he wasn’t. We hadn’t… Well, I hadn’t said…” She had a hard time putting into words that she’d once again left the man’s brother without an answer.

“I don’t know when he’ll be back, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you goin’ on inside to wait or I guess if you want to go up to the bar, I can take you. I need to head in that direction anyhow.”

Did she really want to do this in a public place? “That’d be great, thanks.”

“Good. Okay. I’ll go ’round back of the stables and get my truck.”

Ella tried not to groan when he turned and walked away. His ass in those jeans reminded her of Justin’s ass. Wasn’t she a sight? Ogling the second brother while the first one was every other thought she had. Though, if both of them stood side by side, facing away from her, she’d have a really hard time telling the two of them apart. Especially if they both wore cowboy hats. They were as close to identical twins as she’d ever seen without them actually being twins.

She waited and tried to ignore the doubt running circles inside her head. She was firm in her resolve to give the relationship with Justin a chance. And it was a relationship. It wasn’t just sex, wasn’t just a weekend fling, wasn’t just an online, distance thing. It was a relationship, and she needed to treat it as such. He deserved that. Hell, he deserved better than that.

The rumble of a truck reached her ears before she saw it come around the side of the house. She smiled. It was the red truck Justin had driven to New Orleans the first time they met outside Birmingham.

Ella climbed up in the cab, and Joe started them down the long dirt drive to the highway. She’d only been gone for four days, but it felt like longer, except for the lingering aches in her body when she moved certain ways.

“You love my brother?”

The question caught her off guard. Neither of them were looking at each other, but she felt his complete attention just the same. Did she love his brother? Yes. Was she ready for his family to know it? Was Justin ready for his family to know it? Okay, well yes, he probably was ready for that.

“It’s okay if you don’t. At least not yet. He’s not always an easy guy. Jus’ the way he talks ’bout you sometimes, the way he got so excited when he was goin’ to see you and then the way he was kind of a pain in the ass when he got back. I know he cares about you. I ’as just wonderin’.”

“Yes, I do love him.”

“You here to tell ’im that?”

“I’ve told him once already, but yeah, I’m here to tell him that.”

“Good.” Joe nodded and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “Yeah, that’s real good.”

Ella looked out the window. White fences, brown fences, horses, cattle, ranches. There was green grass everywhere, wild flowers along the side of the road, and she rolled down the window, letting the fresh air blow across her face. Of course, the smell was kind of hard to take in a few areas, and she was thankful for the ability to hold her breath for a bit.

Joe was on the other side of the cab laughing. “I ’as thinkin’ you might not want to be doin’ that, but I guess livin’ in the city, you’re not so used to country air.”

Ella relaxed and laughed with him. She’d never had siblings and her parents had been so unhappy in her early years that she’d grown up much more serious than a kid should have to. Justin had once told her she didn’t laugh enough. He was right about so many things that she didn’t doubt he was right about this too. “Something like that. It’s so open out here, so pretty and peaceful. I can see why Justin loves it so much and why he doesn’t really have a desire to leave.”

“I ’spect he’d leave for you.”

“I’d never ask that of him.”

“Prolly wouldn’t have to ask. He’d just do it.”

She didn’t disagree but she didn’t want that on her shoulders. Justin loved his home as much as he loved anything. He wanted her to love it too. It was part of the reason he’d insisted on bringing her here last weekend.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” And it wouldn’t. Not if he gave her any say in it. Her job was flexible enough with her traveling that so long as she had access to a major airport, she could work from anywhere.