Two Can Play (14 page)

“
You didn't do it, did you? That would be stealing.”

“
No, of course not.”

“
So what happened then...?”

“
He acted strangely with me after I turned him down, way OTT sweet and nice. And he kept on pushing me about the money, trying every angle he could think of, trying to make me feel guilty about how worried he was. Hoping I'd weaken, I guess? Then out of the blue, he asked me to marry him. Well I'm not stupid. Obviously I was thinking he did it so he could push me even harder about the money. So I said, no, I just wasn't ready for that kind of commitment yet, way too young for it.”

“
Why didn't you dump him? He doesn't sound like a great guy to me?”

“
I've asked myself this over and over. But basically, apart from the money angle he had going on he was nice to me. I'd had a run of men who weren't so nice. So I thought I'd enjoy it while it lasted.”

“
Right, so you turned him down...and then what?”

“
Thank God, I found him out soon after that.”                           

“
Found out what?” I probe.

“
Exactly what he had going on and how far he was prepared to go to get the money, basically. It was about six in the evening, I went over to his place to surprise him after work...we had each other’s keys by then...and as soon as I let myself in I could hear he wasn't alone. I stood and listened for a while. They were talking, saying things, Ryan and his ex, Laura, who wasn't his ex after all, apparently. It was all about ripping me off. They were laughing about me. The whole thing was just an act, a fucking lie. He didn't care for me at all, he just saw me as a big dollar sign. Him and her, the little bitch.” Tears start to roll down her cheeks.

I stand up, holding my arms out to her. “Baby, come here.”

She gets up and walks over to me, into my tight hug. Her body convulses with little sobs and I rub her back gently.

“
I was so angry and hurt that he was using me like that. I just couldn't believe it at first. I was in shock. Then I recovered enough to barge in the bedroom catching them out. And there they were, in bed together. Well it gave me a good excuse to dump him, there and then. And straight after some strong language on my part, I left. He followed me home and, well, you can guess the rest. It was like the story you read.” She sniffles.

“
No I don't want to guess anything. Tell me, all of it. Don't leave anything out.”

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I'm not sure I want to say any more, I don't like talking about it. Or thinking about it, either.”

“
Please Kate, I'm a good listener and I think you really do need to talk about it.”

She looks down at the floor for a moment, frowning and chewing her lip and then obviously decides to open up some more.

“Well...as I said, he followed me back home, let himself in, and came up behind me in the bedroom. He tried to explain it all away but I told him I'd heard the whole conversation. I knew he was only after the money and he could just fuck off and forget it. I told him to leave my key and get the hell out of my life. After that, he lost it. Went completely berserk, pushing me around, slapping me, calling me very unpleasant names.” She pauses and looks at me, with a trembling lip.

I know the hardest part to remember is coming up, and she was sketchy with details in her story. I need to know exactly what he did.

“
You're doing really well, Kate. Keep going, honey. What happened after that?” I encourage her.

She gulps loudly and continues.  “He dragged me to my bed by my hair...stripped my jeans and shoes off, and tied my wrists together with the belt of my robe.”

Jesus, I'm getting the whole hand tying thing I did now...

“
...and then he punched me in the stomach until I stopped struggling against him. After that...oh my God, Aaron, I really don't think I can tell you what he did.” She looks at me with tear-reddened, haunted eyes.

I've got to know. I push her…a little bit harder.

“Yes you can, just say it, whatever it is, it won't matter. I promise you. Let it out, Kate.
Say it
.”

She's struggling to get the words to come out. I don't know where her mind is right now, but mine's not in a good place at all. My fists clench and I mentally punch this Ryan bastard in the face...and kick him hard in the balls.

“Well...he raped me. Repeatedly...and not with his penis,” she whispers in a strangled voice.

“
What
?” My stomach is churning for her. She can't even look at me. I lift her chin up.

He forced his hands in me so many times he made me bleed, and then left me too shocked to even cry. I'll never forget it as long as I live.” Her voice tapers off to a tiny whimper as she buries her head against my chest.

I stroke her hair as I grit my teeth in rage.

Jesus, what a complete bastard...

“Why the hell did he have to do that?”

“
I don't know,” she sobs wildly against my chest.

I'm so upset my eyes are blurring and I'm suddenly seeing a blaze of red as it all sinks in. I'm completely fucking furious.

Who the hell is this fucker? Lying to her, trying to rip her off, fucking her over, and then raping her like that…? I can’t even think of what he did to her. Fucking hell. All because she found him out? SHIT – I want to kill him! How could he do all that to this beautiful girl?

I'm totally with her, all the way on this.

But she doesn't need to see my rage. I don't think that'll be helpful. I need to keep calm. I swallow it fast and kiss her forehead.

“
Maybe you need to see someone. Have some therapy?”

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No, I can't. I don't want to talk about it. You can understand why, surely? Would you want to tell anyone? You're the only person I've ever told actually.”

“
Really?”

This is another big shocker. She's only told me?

“I didn't report it. Domestic rape is the most difficult to prove. I didn't want to put myself through it all. I don't like to even think about it, obviously.”

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And you didn't tell your friends or even your mom?”

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No, I didn't want any more pressure on me, or any pity. If I could blot it out of my life, then I'd survive it. That was my way of thinking. But since then it's been a trial of endurance, I'm not sure I did the right thing keeping it all bottled up inside.”

“
Baby, I don't know what to say? I'm surprised you trust me this much.”

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Aaron, you read Ruined. My story. You knew already.”

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You could easily have lied about that, said you made it up.”

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Could I? D'you really think so?”

“
Kate, honey. Come here.”

I sit down and pull her on my lap facing me
.

I kiss her softly and her eyes are still brimming with emotion.

I so want to help her. But what the hell does she need?

I am male and have absolutely no idea what being raped would feel like for a woman. What it would be like to be overpowered by another person’s strength in that way. However, I can see my girl here has suffered horrendously at the hands of that bastard. If it had been my sister Paula being raped, I would want someone to treat her with respect and for someone to…empower her. To give her back a desire for sex, which I have seen is in Kate, but to allow her the control of the situation. Is that what Kate needs? I want her to feel beautiful again. Precious.

I'm guessing she needs something non-threatening and comforting. Definitely non-sexual. Hugs and kisses maybe.

The fact I'm more than desperate to get her in bed is not going to help the situation. I need to rise above my needs somehow. Not easy for someone like me. I'm in uncharted territory here.

I'll go for the hugs and kisses, I kinda like that anyway. I take her chin in my hand and give her a little kiss.

“
Look, I know that was a really terrible experience for you, and I have no idea what you must feel about you. But, I am sensing that you don't want to let it affect your future anymore. Do you? So let's work on that together, shall we? I want to give you the old Kate back. Take it nice and slow. You're completely in control with me.. Do whatever you like...anything you want...hug me...kiss me. I'm all yours. Hands off. I won't touch you. Not once. You can trust me, okay?” I hope I've said the right thing.

I lower my arms and put my hands on the sofa at my sides
.

I wait silently. I'm not sure she's ready to touch a man at all after sharing that horror story.

But I'm kinda surprised how it all goes down after that.

She's a little hesitant at first, so I start her off with another tiny kiss on her nose and then I sit still and let her play with me.

She nips my lip and rubs my nose with hers and then she warms up.

Really. Fast.

She's kissing me passionately, tugging my ears and hair, and rubbing her hands all over my head with surprising frenzy. My breathing is going into crazy mode and my mind is going with it.

I hope to God I'm doing the right thing. I've no idea if I am. Rape therapy isn't a skill I possess. I'm going with my instincts, flying by the seat of my pants.

With some difficulty, I force my hands to behave as she yanks off my T-shirt and rakes her nails all over me, kissing my bared chest and shoulders and sucking my neck.

Her hot tongue swirls all around my ear and her hands slip down the back of my jeans, squeezing my ass.

I'm almost unconscious with desire as she licks inside my ear. The sensation defies description. I've never come through having my ear sucked off before but it's gonna happen if this carries on much longer. The licking sounds intermingled with her gasps and moans of delight are hitting my target dead center. How the hell I'm controlling myself, I really don't know. I must have a hidden inner strength I know nothing about.

I'm pretty sure she's the most wonderful thing I've ever had sitting on my lap.

I'm harder than rock, never been as hard as this...and much as I don't want to, I really need to call a halt.

This is too fucking hard, period.

“Baby, you'd better quit now. I've got my limits and you're hitting 'em,” I grind out with a groan.

Wordlessly, she slides off me and pushes me down purposefully, flat on my back, and unbuttons my jeans.

I stop her hand as she tugs at the zipper.

She looks at me, her chest heaving as she breathes heavily, her mouth partly open, licking her lips. Her eyes are glazed with desire and her cheeks are flushed. She looks so damn sexy at this moment I want to kiss her all over, eat her, and screw her senseless and beyond. I keep those thoughts to myself.

“I'm getting way too excited here. Just warning you, okay.”

“
I'll bear that in mind,” she whispers, very breathily.

But my subtle warning doesn't stop her, thank God.

I'm having one of those wonderful moments in life when you finally get something you want so badly. And how I want her. Whatever she has planned is going to be perfect for starters.

I'm fast discovering Kate has no problem whatsoever when it comes to getting her hands on me, and her mouth is pretty damn hot as well. I'm heating up like a flaming torch and dying with anticipation of what might be about to come as her tongue travels down my stomach. I hold my breath as she pulls down my boxers and I'm instantly inside her mouth.