Authors: Mandasue Heller
Two-Faced
CONTENTS
TWO-FACED
Mandasue Heller
First published in Great Britain in 2009 by Hodder & Stoughton
An Hachette Livre UK Company
Copyright © Mandasue Heller 2009
The right of Mandasue Heller to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
Epub ISBN 978 1 848 94855 6
Book ISBN 978 0 34095 415 7
Hodder & Stoughton Ltd
An Hachette Livre UK Company
338 Euston Road
London NWl 3BH
To my beautiful mum, Jean Heller – for everything you have been and still are to me.
Acknowledgements
As always, much love to my partner Wingrove Ward; and my children, Michael, Andrew, Azzura (& Michael), Marissa, Lariah, & bump; Ava, Amber, Martin, Jade, Reece & Kyro; Auntie Doreen, Pete, Lorna & Cliff, Chris & Glen; Mavis & Joseph, Val, Jascinth, Donna, Nats, Dan, Toni, & children – and the rest of our extended families, both here and in the USA.
Thanks to my editor, Carolyn Caughey, and everyone at Hodder; Nick Austin; and my agents, Cat Ledger, and Guy Rose.
Hi to Norman; Betty & Ronnie; Wayne; Martina – and the rest of our good friends everywhere.
Cheers to John Heaton, and Boss Model Management for the technical advice.
RIP Manchester legend Johnny Roadhouse.
Hello and thank you to all the readers and staff we met – and who made us so welcome – at the various venues we visited as part of the publicity events.
And, lastly, Hi to our Dakota band-mates (feel free to check us out at MySpace: Dakota ft Mandasue Heller)
Kim Delaney was alone when her waters broke. Alone in the sense that the baby’s father wasn’t there to bear the pain with her. But then he’d disappeared pretty much as soon as she’d told him she was pregnant, so it was no big loss. And there were plenty of onlookers to keep her company, it being a Monday and the favoured day for all the harassed mothers in the area to do their weekly Netto run.
Kim was on the last aisle when it happened, and had just spotted an empty till up ahead. Her basket was only a fraction as full as the trolleys being pushed around by the rest of the women who were dashing about grabbing bargains, but she was a month early so she hadn’t expected to be stocking up on nappies and baby milk just yet. Quickening her pace, determined not to let anyone get to the till before her, she’d just reached down for a tin of deodorant off the bottom shelf when the hot liquid gushed out from between her fat thighs. Jerking upright, she crossed her legs to stem the flow. But there was no stopping nature.
Peering at the puddle around her feet, she cursed under her breath. She should have
known
something was wrong when she’d woken up with backache that morning. But she’d thought it was constipation, so she’d glugged some syrup of figs and downed a couple of paracetamol, then set off to do her shopping, thinking she had plenty of time to get everything done before the laxatives took effect.
She gasped when the first contraction seized her belly in its iron grip and fell against one of the open-topped freezer cabinets, her face just inches from the frozen chips and peas.
Just as the pain began to subside, a small boy wandered around the corner. Eyes almost popping out of his head when he saw the mess at her feet, he yelled, ‘
Maaaam
. . . the lady’s pissed herself!’
Kim tried to distance herself from the shameful pool that was spreading out across the tiled floor, but the second contraction slammed home before she’d taken two steps, and she sank to her knees.
The nosy boy’s mother came hurtling around the corner just then. Skidding to a halt when she realised what was happening, she wrenched her son out of the way and shouted, ‘Someone call an ambulance! There’s a girl having a baby round here!’
That was all it took to fetch everyone and their mothers around into the last aisle, some dragging their loaded trolleys with them as they battled to get a better viewing position, others completely abandoning theirs.
Squatting now and panting like an animal as the pain tore through her, Kim squeezed her eyes tight shut, wishing that the gawpers would all just go away and give her a bit of privacy.
‘Ambulance is on its way,’ the store manager trilled, his voice squeaky with panic despite his desperate attempt to sound authoritative and calm. He clicked his fingers at one of his staff. ‘You, fetch a mop before someone slips on . . .’ Trailing off, his cheeks flared as he searched for words to describe the disgusting mess on the floor. ‘The, um, the wetness,’ he managed at last. Then, flapping his hands at the crowd, ‘And can we all back off and give her some room, please?’
‘She don’t need room,’ a gruff voice informed him knowingly. ‘She needs a good big slug of gin, so bugger off ordering folk about and fetch a bottle. And get me some whisky while you’re at it,’ the speaker added, giving him a dig in his skinny ribs with her fat old cat-piss-stinking elbow.
‘You tell him, Queenie!’ one of the women in the crowd chuckled. ‘But never mind whisky, shouldn’t we be cracking champagne for a new babby?’
‘Oh, now, I don’t think we should be encouraging her to drink alcohol,’ an elderly lady piped up disapprovingly. ‘She doesn’t look old enough.’
‘Behave!’ Queenie scoffed. ‘She was old enough to open her legs, so she’s old enough for a slug of the hard stuff.’
‘For God’s sake, will you all just get
lost
!’ Kim grunted, her face turning an unnatural shade of puce as the pain intensified. She had an awful feeling that the laxatives were about to kick in, and the last thing she needed was to do a number two in front of this lot. It was bad enough that they’d already seen her piss herself – or as good as.
‘Calm down, love,’ a woman said soothingly. ‘It’ll all be over soon.’ Squatting down beside Kim, she reached for her hand. ‘There you go. You just squeeze on that if it helps.’
Kim was about to tell her to go to hell, but the next wave of pain washed over her like a tidal wave.
‘
OOOWWW!
’ the woman yelped, struggling to wrench her hand free as Kim squeezed it with all her might. ‘Let go, you stupid cow! You’re breaking my fingers!’
An ambulance pulled up outside. Ambling into the store as if they had all the time in the world, one of the male attendants proceeded to push the crowd back while the other went over to Kim.
‘All right, sweetheart, cavalry’s here,’ he quipped, taking a quick feel of her stomach. ‘What’s your name?’
She opened her mouth to answer, but all that came out was a low, guttural moan of agony.
‘I don’t know her name,’ someone in the crowd offered. ‘But she lives near me on Claremont Road, if that’s any help.’
‘It’s Kim,’ she growled, twisting her head to see which of her neighbours was witnessing her humiliation. Then, feeling a cold draught on her thighs as the ambulance man tried to yank her legs apart, she clamped her knees together and shoved her skirt back down to cover her soiled knickers. ‘Not here! Take me to hospital.’
‘Doubt we’ll have time for that,’ he told her, pulling on a pair of latex gloves. ‘I reckon this little one’s well on its way.’
‘It shouldn’t be,’ she groaned, her teeth clenched like a vice as a fresh contraction flared. ‘I’ve got a month to go yet.’
‘And you haven’t had any pains before this? No signs that it might be coming early?’
‘
No
! I mean,
yes
, this morning . . . bit of backache.’ Remembering again about the laxatives, Kim clutched at his hand. ‘Please, you’ve got to get me out of here. You don’t understa—
aaagghhh
!’
Blood spurted out, soaking right through Kim’s skirt and spreading out on the floor beneath her.
‘Sorry, lovey, but you’re going to have to let me take a look,’ the ambulance man said, forcing her rigid knees apart. Pulling a pair of scissors from his breast pocket, he snipped straight through the seams of her knickers.
Kim wanted to shrivel up and die, but the pain outweighed the embarrassment, and she squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath when she felt an overwhelming urge to push.
Barking at her to stop it, the ambulance man waved his mate over. ‘Head’s engaged, but I don’t think she’s fully dilated yet.’
His worried tone alerted the watching crowd to drama, causing them to crane their necks to see what was happening between Kim’s legs.