Two of a Kind (34 page)

“This way,” Heidi said. “I spent some time in these caves last summer. There were cave paintings.” She paused. “That doesn’t matter. This way.”

Felicia moved next to Gideon. He took her hand. She squeezed his fingers, and they walked forward.

After a few hundred feet, he heard something.

“Quiet,” he instructed.

“I heard it, too,” Felicia murmured.

Their group went silent. In the distance was faint music.

“That way,” he said, pointing to a path that veered to the left.

“Carter!” Felicia called as she started to run.

Gideon kept up with her easily. His right hand kept reaching for a nonexistent weapon. The result of training, he thought grimly. No guns today, and no enemies.

“Carter!” Felicia screamed, running ahead.

Gideon kept pace with her. They rounded a bend and stumbled into a large open cave with high ceilings. Carter and Reese were sitting on sleeping bags, playing a game on a laptop, music blasting from speakers. There were lanterns and a cooler.

The teens scrambled to their feet as the adults rushed in. Felicia pulled Carter hard against her.

“What were you thinking?” she demanded as she touched his face, then his shoulders. “Running away? It was horrible. When I read that note—”

Kent muttered something under his breath as he reached for Reese. Father and son embraced.

The rest of the team gathered around. Felicia kept touching Carter, as if reassuring herself. Then she started to cry.

Carter immediately stepped back and looked horrified. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Don’t cry.”

“I was so scared,” she admitted, her voice shaking.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Too bad, because you would have achieved your goal. Oh, Carter.” She hugged him again. “You know you have to be punished, right?”

He nodded.

“Okay, and you have to swear you’ll never do this again.” She cupped his face in her hands. “I love you. You need to get that.”

Tears filled his eyes. “I love you, too, and I’m sorry.”

“Me, too, Dad,” Reese told his father. “It was a stupid trick.”

“More than a trick. You’re grounded, for starters. We’ll take it from there.”

Rafe headed toward the path. “I’ll alert the others that the boys are found.”

Gideon watched it all, physically there, but separate from what was happening. He could see Felicia’s emotion but wasn’t a part of it. Sure, he was glad the boys were fine, but he didn’t have the same connection as the others. It was like being underwater and hearing sound. He knew it was there but couldn’t recognize it.

And then he knew. Whatever had been done to him, whatever had been beaten from him, whatever had allowed him to survive when the others didn’t, wasn’t because he was stronger than them. It was because there was something wrong with him. He wasn’t like other people. They had loved once, and losing all they loved had destroyed them. He’d thought them weak, but he was wrong. They were completely human.

And he wasn’t.

He didn’t have the same emotions, the same needs. Perhaps the flaw had always been there, and the torture had brought it to the surface. Maybe he’d been more whole before, but what had happened to him had caused breaks. He didn’t know, and it didn’t matter. Except he had a child now.

What was he supposed to do about Carter?

It didn’t take them long to get back to the park. Nearly everyone who had turned out to help them with the search wanted to see the boys, as if to be reassured that they really were okay. Carter stayed close to Felicia, and she did the same, as if they both needed reassurance.

Finally the mayor started telling people to head home.

“It’s late,” she reminded them. “Tomorrow’s a workday, everyone.” Then she looked at Carter. “Did you get what you wanted?”

Gideon frowned and Felicia looked confused, but Carter flushed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he began, then shrugged. “I don’t know.” He smiled. “Felicia loves me.”

“Was there any doubt?” the mayor asked.

“Not for a while now.” Unexpectedly, he turned to Gideon. “Dad, were you scared about me being gone?”

Gideon sensed the trap and didn’t know how to avoid it.

“I don’t understand,” Felicia said. “What are you talking about? Of course he was terrified. We all were.”

“That’s not what he means,” Gideon said stiffly, as all the puzzle pieces came together. It shouldn’t have taken him this long, he told himself. It’s not as if the kid was subtle.

“He wants us to get together,” he told Felicia. “He wants us married so he can have a family. That’s what tonight was about. Scaring us into realizing our feelings.”

* * *

FELICIA WOULDN’T HAVE thought she had any emotions left. The ups and downs of the past few hours, not to mention the long weekend of the festival, had drained her. But apparently there was also room for surprise.

“He’s right,” Mayor Marsha said quietly. “That’s exactly what Carter wants. We’ve been talking about it a little. The one thing every child needs is stability.” She smiled. “All right. Two things, because love matters, too. What’s happening now is confusing. Carter needs to know where things stand.”

Get married or split up, Felicia thought, barely able to process the information.

“We’ll talk about it,” she said.

Gideon didn’t say anything.

They walked to the truck. Carter slid into the rear seat. Felicia climbed into the passenger seat as Gideon took the wheel. None of them spoke.

The drive up the mountain passed in a blur, but as they pulled into the driveway, she realized that she didn’t need to go looking for an answer, that it had been there all along.

Telling Carter she loved him had been a spontaneous moment. A burst of emotion, followed by a complete sense of rightness. She might not be the best mother around, but she was willing to do all she could, to learn, to be supportive and to establish boundaries. She would give her life for him if necessary and pray it was all enough.

Now, as she searched her heart, she discovered she’d also fallen for another person, but in a completely different way.

Gideon. Always Gideon.

From the first moment she’d spoken to him in that bar in Thailand, he’d been a part of her life. He’d made her feel good about herself, had laughed with her, cared for her, taught her and made her feel safe. When she wasn’t sure if she could fit in or where she belonged, she was comfortable with him. Loving him was so easy, she hadn’t recognized the symptoms.

He pulled to a stop in front of the house. She turned to tell him, only to remember they weren’t alone. A quick glance over her shoulder showed her a very sleepy teen who could barely crawl out of the truck.

“Can you punish me in the morning?” Carter asked with a big yawn.

“Sure.”

“Thanks.”

He hugged her, handed over his cell phone and walked inside. She and Gideon followed.

“What’s the cell phone for?” Gideon asked.

“I’m not sure. I guess he’s assuming he’s going to lose it while he’s grounded.” She frowned. “I don’t know what it means to be grounded. I’ll have to do some research.”

Gideon closed the front door behind them. They stood in the living room, not looking at each other. Tension filled the space, making her feel awkward and unsure.

“About what the mayor said,” she began.

“I know what Carter thinks,” he started.

“You go first,” she murmured.

He walked toward the kitchen, then turned back to face her. “The mayor’s right. Carter needs stability.”

Felicia felt herself starting to bubble up with happiness. She was truly going to have it all. A man she loved, a child and a place to belong. Because the town had come through, not just for her, but for all of them. First, with the festival and then, tonight. As long as they lived in Fool’s Gold, they would always have a community that cared.

“This relationship is confusing him,” Gideon continued. “In the morning I’ll explain it was never going to happen. Us getting married. I asked for your help and you were there for me, Felicia. I appreciate that. I don’t want to stand in your way. I know you want to find the right guy and settle down, and that’s not going to happen with me.”

The pain was so sharp it almost didn’t hurt. It was more concept than sensation. But the promise of agony whispered at the very edges of her consciousness, and she knew she didn’t have long until she would be nothing more than an open wound.

“You want me to leave.”

She wasn’t asking a question, and a part of her was surprised she could still speak.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

He was trying to make this about her, to be the nice guy. But it wasn’t and he wasn’t. He wanted her gone because he didn’t believe he could be like everyone else. She’d always known that. Why had she allowed herself to forget?

She remembered telling Consuelo she wouldn’t mind a broken heart. That she would appreciate having been in love and would accept the consequences. Her friend had warned her, but she hadn’t listened. She’d been so sure she would be fine. She hadn’t known what this could feel like.

“We’ll talk in the morning,” Gideon said. “You need to get some sleep. You’re exhausted.”

Sleep? She would never sleep.

“No,” she told him. “I’m leaving now.”

“Felicia, no. It’s late.”

He moved toward her, but she stepped away. She couldn’t stand to have him touch her. No, she thought, shuddering. She desperately
wanted
him to touch her, and when he did, she would lose the little strength she had left. She would want to beg and plead, to prepare diagrams and flow charts explaining why he was wrong. Why this was so right for all of them.

Carter. She squeezed her eyes shut. She was going to have to tell him goodbye.

She would pack first, she thought. Complete the task and then tell him. She would make it clear he would always be welcome in her life and her home. That he could come stay with her, that they would talk every day.

Tears burned, but she refused to give in. That was for later. For now, she had to keep moving.

* * *

CARTER SAGGED AGAINST the hallway wall. Disappointment made it hard to swallow. He was out of ideas, he thought sadly. Out of ways to make Gideon see what was important.

He turned and walked to his bedroom, where he quickly collected his computer and a few clothes. The rest could wait. He didn’t think Gideon would care if he came back and got it later. After zipping up his backpack, he walked down the hallway to the master suite.

Gideon stood outside the door. “You don’t have to do this,” he said.

Carter didn’t hear Felicia answer, but he guessed it was something along the lines of not having a choice.

Carter moved past him and walked into the bedroom. Felicia looked up.

“Carter, what are you...” Her gaze settled on the backpack. “You heard.”

He nodded.

“You don’t have to leave, Carter. This is your home. Gideon is your father. He wants you with him.”

“If he can’t love you, he can’t love me, either. I’m a kid, Felicia. I need to be where the love is.” His heart stopped as he realized she might have just been saying the words rather than meaning them. “If you want me.”

“Oh, Carter. I love you. Of course you can come live with me.”

He didn’t remember moving, but suddenly she was holding him and he was hanging on and neither of them was going to let go. He’d wanted it all—a set of parents and a home, but two out of three wasn’t bad.

CHAPTER TWENTY

GIDEON WAITED UNTIL dawn to go running. He’d wanted to leave earlier but knew the stupidity of heading up the mountain while it was still dark. He would take responsibility for breaking his neck but didn’t see the point in needing a second rescue party in less than twenty-four hours.

As soon as the sun cleared the top of the mountain, he was out and moving. He drove himself hard, quickly breaking out in a sweat and breathing hard.

The uneven terrain challenged his body but left his mind free to wander. Free to think and speculate. What were they doing now?

He’d spent the night wandering the house. He’d tried to sleep a few times but hadn’t been successful. The place he’d once seen as his haven was too large, too empty. The quiet had pressed in on him until he’d wanted to be anywhere else.

He tripped over uneven ground and went down on one knee. The sharp pain sent him back to his feet and he kept running. Blood trickled down his leg but he ignored it, ignored all of it. He could outrun anything. That was what he had to believe.

They were gone because he’d asked them to go. It was the right decision. He couldn’t be what either Carter or Felicia needed. There wasn’t enough left. He should be happy, or at least relieved.

But he wasn’t. He was empty and hollow. He was as broken as he had ever been, and he was a man who had been to the edge of hell. He’d been dragged out of a prison cell maybe days or even hours before he would have died. He had bled into the ground of his captors’ prison, and he would never be able to forget that. No matter what he thought or how he felt, he couldn’t allow that to touch anyone else. Especially not Felicia or Carter.