Two To The Fifth (18 page)

But Cyrus lay for some time awake. They had confirmed that someone or something was out to get Kadence, so the other dangers were not coincidental. Kadence had almost lain down on the death bed, and there were also the plants growing ales. But who could it be, and why?

The question suggested an answer: Ragna Roc. Cyrus was supposed to use his troupe to get Rhythm close to the nasty bird, so she could nullify him. If anything happened to her or her daughter, she would be unable to complete her mission. She might be only twelve, but she loved Kadence, as he did, and would be devastated. Rhythm could take care of herself, as the scene with the demon had just made uncomfortably clear, but though Kadence was a Sorceress in her own right, she lacked the experience to defend herself against anything as malign as a demon.

But if Ragna Roc knew about them, how could they ever get into his presence to nullify him? And why were the threats so devious? Why didn't he just send a warrior to take them all out? The bird lacked any inhibitions about foul play, and would happily destroy them. So that must mean the big bird didn't know about them.

Then how to explain the threats?

“Dear,” Rhythm murmured sleepily, “your thoughts are disturbing me. If you don't stop, I'll distract you from them.”

He knew exactly how she would do that, even if it freaked out Kadence and the nanny. He had to stop worrying.

She took his hand, “That's better.”

Holding hands wasn't really a Violation, he told himself. Adults held the hands of children all the time. Still, he felt guilty.

“That, too.” she said. “Go to sleep.” And she backed it up with a spot sleep spell. He was unconscious until morning.

The merbutler and mermaid were jointly appalled when they learned of the incident with the demon. It seemed that, true to her word, the nanny had not told them. “We never!” the butler said.

“Never!” the maid agreed.

“We know,” Cyrus said. “Your hospitality has been impeccable. We have been beset by similar problems throughout our journey. We thank you for an otherwise excellent night.”

Rhythm added her endorsement, and when they still fretted, added an acceptance spell. Then they walked up out of the lake and resumed their journey.

“I dislike showing magic.” Rhythm said, “but I think we had better hurry before something else happens. We're behind schedule anyway.”

“Hurry?”

“Take my hand.” She caught his hand and Kadence's.

The scenery around them changed. They were now standing at the entrance to the Stork Works.

Oh. Cyrus nerved himself for the challenge to come.

Stymy Stork was courteous but regretful as the three of them sat in his office. “I am sorry to have to bring up such a matter, realizing that the two of you were swept away by circumstance. But whatever the circumstance. Violation of the Adult Conspiracy is a most serious matter. As Head Stork, and deliverer of the bundle, I share some blame; this should never have been allowed to happen.”

“I know it,” Cyrus said. “And I am mortified to have done it, I am ready to accept whatever penalty is required, except—”

“This is irrelevant,” Stymy said.

“Except I want no harm to come to Princess Rhythm or Kadence, who deserve no rebuke.”

“There seems to be a misapprehension,” the stork said, “You are not being charged.”

“Not—what?”

“You are the Victim, not the Perpetrator.”

Cyrus stared at him blankly. “Victim?”

“According to our records. Princess Rhythm was age twenty-two when the Violation occurred. You were two. She is guilty of Child Molestation.”

Now Rhythm and Kadence stared at him, open mouthed, “Two?” Rhythm asked after a ragged two thirds of a pause.

“I'm six,” Kadence said, a little swirl of confusion circling her head.

“I was assembled adult!” Cyrus protested.

“I realize that,” Stymy said. “But our records are somewhat literal minded. I remember when there was a five-year confusion that caused me to decline to make a delivery, leading to serious complications. I don't want to make any such mistake again. That's why I elected to handle this matter personally.”

Cyrus had the ugly impression that no matter how apologetic this talking stork was, he would do what he felt was proper. That could be deadly to Kadence. Meanwhile Rhythm's silence was ominous; if there did turn out to be any threat to her daughter's existence, there would be serious mischief. So he had to ease the crisis however he could.

“What is required to straighten this out?” Cyrus asked.

“Three things. First we must establish that you are adult, so that no abuse occurred. Second, we must establish the current age for Kadence, so that she herself does not later suffer the same complication that Surprise Golem did.” Stymy covered his beak with a wing, “Oops! I should not have mentioned her name. That record is supposed to be sealed. Please forget it.”

“Forgotten,” Cyrus said immediately.

“Third, Rhythm must be lectured on acting in a manner becoming to her age, and she must promise to reform.”

“The bleep I will!” Rhythm snapped. “I love him.” Kadence giggled.

Cyrus hastily interceded, “She means she will be glad to cooperate in any way feasible.” He moved on quickly, before Rhythm could object. “How do I establish my adult status?”

“Merely sign a statement to the effect that you were created adult by definition, in the manner of a robot, as your father was.” A paper appeared on the desk.

Cyrus signed it, “Done. Now Rhythm is not guilty of any infraction.”

“Technically.” Stymy agreed with a wry curve of his beak. He turned to Kadence. “How did you become age six in only a month?”

“Mother garbled a spell, and time accelerated,” Kadence said immediately. “That's how the first nine months passed so quickly, and the following six years, before she could turn it off.”

Stymy nodded, “That explains how it was that we received what seemed like a backdated signal. I assumed it was a clerical error. Evidently it wasn't.”

“It was a local time warp,” Cyrus said. “It seemed like only an hour or two to us, but we all aged six years. Then when Rhythm nullified the spell, she and I reverted to our natural ages, but Kadence didn't.”

“We had better enter her as delivered at age six.” Stymy said. “These things happen.”

“They do,” Cyrus agreed, relieved.

The stork turned to Rhythm. He had seemed like a rather benign bird, anxious to get the paperwork straight. Now he seemed uncomfortably serious. Cyrus remembered that he was the head of the Stork Works, and had considerable power, especially over the composition of families.

Rhythm evidently realized it too. She was a Princess and a Sorceress, but she quailed visibly. She knew she was in serious trouble.

“The royal children have been getting increasingly naughty,” Stymy said. “Your cousin Princess Eve—well, never mind. All of you have put a serious strain on the Adult Conspiracy. But you personally have achieved new levels of naughtiness. In fact, you are giving naughtiness a bad name.”

There was a pause, “Rhythm,” Cyrus murmured.

She turned to him with an expression of fixed innocence, “What?”

“Mother, say you're sorry,” Kadence whispered.

“Oh.” Rhythm turned to the stork. “I'm sorry.” But she did not sound completely sincere.

“Your clothing is too tight,” the stork continued severely. “So that you attract the male eye—and you're only twelve years old.”

“I'm pushing thirteen,” Rhythm snapped before Cyrus could shush her. “I've got flesh. I'm a nascent woman.”

“You're a child,” Stymy said firmly.

“I wear a bra and panties. See?” She pulled down on the top part of her dress and up on the skirt, exposing critical fringes.

Both Cyrus and Kadence freaked out, for different reasons. But the stork took it in stride. “And you have an attitude problem as big as Castle Roogna,” he said, “Do you want me to inform your mother?”

Rhythm collapsed, “Please, no!”

“Then you will henceforth wear clothing appropriate to your status. No tight binding around chest or butt.”

“Appropriate clothing,” she agreed, defeated. Her dress became two sizes larger, so that it was no longer tight.

“You flirted shamelessly with Cyrus, who was trying to be true to the code,” Stymy continued inexorably. “When that didn't work, you took naughtiness to a new level. No one has done that before. You should be excruciatingly ashamed.”

“Well, he called me a child!” she retorted.

“Not any more,” Cyrus said, hoping to pacify her before she damaged her case. At least she hadn't mentioned spanking.

“You used magic to invoke a technicality of age, and shamelessly seduced him,” Stymy said. “Thus signaling us to deliver your baby.”

“Yes,” she agreed smugly. “They're both wonderful.”

“You must now renounce them both, and promise never to do it again. Not until you have aged naturally to maturity in six years.”

She exploded, outraged. “The bleep I will! I love him! And my daughter too! I won't renounce anything! I'm glad I did it!”

Cyrus exchanged a horrified glance with Kadence, seeing the case abruptly lost.

But the stork wasn't fazed. “Do you not realize that you have brought a child into this realm who can not share a normal family life with you or her father? This is bad for her upbringing and social adjustment. You have made a man love you who can not marry you. This is bad for his sanity.”

Rhythm froze. “Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't think of that.”

“A child wouldn't. That's why cautionary rules exist.”

“I can get along,” Kadence said bravely.

“So can I,” Cyrus said, though it really bothered him.

“Neither of you should be required to sacrifice in this manner,” Stymy said, “You need to have a normal family life. Her action caused you to forfeit it.”

Rhythm burst into tears. “I never meant to do that! If I have to, to make it right, I'll give you up. Maybe you can marry someone else, Cyrus, and adopt Kadence. Then you'll have a family.”

“No!” Cyrus and Kadence said together.

“But it's not right to make you suffer. I alone should suffer for my naughtiness.”

Cyrus hugged her from one side, and Kadence from the other. “We'd rather suffer with you, than without you,” Cyrus said.

Rhythm tried to speak again, but was choked off by tears.

“Fortunately you have one significant thing in your favor, Princess,” the stork said, as they sat sharing their misery.

“I do?” Rhythm asked, soggily surprised.

“Love, as you said. It conquers all. Even, on occasion, the Adult Conspiracy. We are required to compromise.”

“You are?” Cyrus asked, hardly daring to believe it.

“It was in the nature of a test question. True love brooks no opposition. Therefore we will accept the status quo, except that we will ignore any signals we may receive from Princess Rhythm, regardless of her temporary age, until she comes of age naturally.”

“But what about the family?” Kadence asked.

“This is unfortunate,” Stymy said. “We hope that the troupe represents a feasible substitute. It allows you to interact frequently, and the members are supportive of each other. The three of you know your relationship, so you can act as a family when alone together. As I said, it is a compromise.”

But now Cyrus was suspicious. “Why should you compromise? It can't be just that there is love.”

“There are two other factors,” Stymy agreed. “All of you are needed for the completion of your private mission.”

“You know about that?” Cyrus asked sharply.

“Only that it is of vital importance to the larger welfare of Xanth, so we must not interfere. The Good Magician put out the word.”

Now Rhythm spoke. “What's the other thing?”

“It is somewhat personal,” the stork agreed reluctantly. “Punishing you would also compromise me, for making the delivery. I should have checked the situation more carefully. I much prefer that no issue be made. It could cost me my position.”

Oho! Cyrus had to bite his tongue to keep from chortling.

“We won't tell if you don't,” Rhythm said, amused but serious.

“I believe we have an understanding,” Stymy said, his beak making a wry curve.

“Silence all around,” Cyrus said, immensely relieved.

“Let's get out of here,” Kadence said. “Before anyone changes their mind.”

“That does seem best,” the stork agreed.

Outside the Stork Works, on their way back, Rhythm thought of something else. “That silence includes you,” she reminded Kadence. “In case you should accidentally see anything at night you shouldn't. Because we aren't going to let you be by yourself. Not while something is out to get you.”

“Aw, you'll both be covered by a blanket anyway,” the girl said. “It never shows anything.”

Cyrus and Rhythm exchanged half a guilty look. It was definitely time to move on.

“Now we need to retrace our route, so I can pick up Melete,” Cyrus said.

“Gee—can we visit the merfolk again?” Kadence asked brightly.

“I will make a Find spell that will guide us directly to it,” Rhythm said with half a shudder “No need to visit the merfolk.”

Cyrus didn't comment. They all knew that the threat to Kadence had not been the mers' fault, but it remained a bad memory.

The Find spell showed the direction, which wasn't exactly the way they had come. Actually they had not passed this way at all; Rhythm had transported them. It also tried to lead them through the worst of thickets, so they couldn't go straight.

They walked along any enchanted paths they found, but few folk traveled to and from the Stork Works by foot, and the paths did not always go the direction they needed. So as night approached they looked for a safe spot to camp.

“We are close to Melete,” Rhythm said. “Which is odd.”

“Odd? Why?”

“Because we are nowhere near where we left her.”

He did not like that, “Do you think this is more of the mischief we have been encountering?”

“It may be,” she said grimly.

“But you can protect us, Mother,” Kadence said, sounding not quite certain.

“She can protect us,” Cyrus said reassuringly.

There was a peal of thunder. A thunderstorm was brewing. “Fracto has seen us,” Rhythm said. “He's going to wet on us if he can.”

“There's a cave,” Kadence said.

“My Writer's Block is in there, or beyond it in that direction,” Cyrus said, surprised.

“I will check it.” Rhythm went to the mouth of the cave, “Hello in there. Are there any monsters or dangerous creatures lurking?”

“I am the only occupant,” a nymphly voice replied. “I'm a Lady.”

“She's telling the truth,” Rhythm said. “I don't have the energy to do a full check. It should be all right.”

The first drops of water spattered around them, encouraging their entry. They walked into the cave, which was of goodly diameter. They turned a corner, where faint light leaked around.

And came up against the snout of a fire-breathing dragon. “Uh-oh.” Rhythm murmured as her drum and drumsticks appeared.

“Do not be alarmed,” the Dragon Lady said. “I am not going to scorch you. You sounded like nice people, so I invited you in. I never toast a visitor.”

So it seemed, “I am Cyrus Cyborg, and this is Rhyme, and her little sister Kadence.” He was not completely easy with the deception, but it was for a necessary cause.

“I am so glad to meet you.”

“You talk like a nymph,” Kadence said, surprised.

The Lady smiled, the expression rippling from one side of her long toothy mouth to the other. “I had a nymph as a roommate for some time. She taught me how to talk human style, and I taught her how to chomp a fresh man. It seemed like a fair exchange. She finally got lonely for her own kind, leaving me lonely for company. But local folk don't quite trust me, for some reason.”

“She is telling the truth,” Rhythm repeated. “We can trust her not to scorch or eat us.”

“Ah, that's your talent,” the Lady said. “To ascertain truth.”

“Part of it,” Rhythm agreed cautiously.

“You must be hungry after traveling, I have assorted roasts, and some baked potatoes and bread.” She looked apologetic. “Everything is hot; it's my nature. You will have to go outside for cool drinks.”

“I'll fetch some,” Kadence said eagerly. She dashed outside the cave.

“I also have warm pillows,” the Lady said.

“We'll make do,” Cyrus said. He pondered briefly, then decided to ask. “We are searching for a certain wooden block, and understand it is in the cave. Have you seen it?”

“This block?” the Lady asked, lifting it in a curl of her tail.

“Get me out of this!” Melete called. “She's a nice dragon, but I can't help her.”

“That block,” Cyrus agreed. “I am a playwright, and that is my Writer's Block. I can't write at all well without it. In fact I am stymied on a play now.” The word reminded him of Stymy Stork. “May I have it back?”