Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (11 page)

Kevin:
You’re getting lazy in your middle age.

Josh:
No, just less anal about things.

Perhaps because there are so few eating and drinking establishments in the neighborhood surrounding Citi Field, the Mets have done an excellent job of providing an eclectic concession menu that reflects the culinary character of New York City. This is one of the few areas where Citi handily trumps its bigger, badder Bronx counterpart. So dig in!

We especially appreciate that in addition to providing a top-notch “Taste of the City” outfield food court on the first
level, the Mets also make almost all of the premium foods available to the commoners sitting in the cheaper seats upstairs at a third-deck food court behind home plate.

As at Yankee Stadium, however, all of the concession stands post the calorie count of each item. Kevin consumed a scant one thousand, eight hundred calories during our game at Citi, while Josh stopped counting in the third inning after surpassing the three-thousand-calorie mark.

Kevin:
You’re gonna hate yourself in the morning.

Josh:
But our readers demand that we sample every item.

Kevin:
Do they really?

Josh:
I don’t know. But it all smells so good.

Kevin:
Well, if we must, we must!

Kevin ordered a foot-long Nathan’s dog from the Nathan’s stand on the third deck food court and found it worth every one of the five hundred calories of stomach space it cost him. After one bite, he decided he wasn’t in a very sharing mood and only allowed Josh a tiny sample. So Josh set out in search of his own Nathan’s dog. Not wanting to miss the game, he settled for a regular concession stand behind Section 511 before realizing only too late that he’d ordered a pre-prepared dog that had been sitting beneath a heat lamp behind the counter. It was neither bursting with juice, nor firm and plump as Kevin’s dog had been. It was a droopy disappointment. The moral of the lesson: Nathan’s makes a darned good dog, but unless you get yours hot off one of the ballpark grills, you’ll be doing it and yourself a disservice.

The Shake Shack stand in the center-field food court garners some of the longest lines we’ve ever seen at a ballpark concession counter. And for good reason. The Shack Burger is two juicy, premium patties of hand-packed beef, topped with fresh tomatoes, lettuce and onion, American cheese, and the Shack’s trademark sauce. This is no ordinary burger and you’d be well advised to arrive early to Citi to stake out a space in line before the game begins.

The Shack-cago Dog is also popular. This all-beef Vienna link comes on a potato bun, topped with mustard, a special relish, onion, cucumber, pickle, tomato, pepper, and celery salt. You know, like in Chicago.

On the first level food court beyond deep right-center field, you’ll find
Mama’s Italian Specialties of Corona
within the World Fair Market beyond the fence in right-center. We ordered a hot roasted turkey and mozzarella sandwich. The sandwich consisted of approximately ten inches of freshly baked Italian bread stuffed with thin slices of fresh turkey, gooey mozzarella, brown gravy, and roasted red peppers. It was delicious. Mama’s also serves an orange peel stuffed with homemade
sorbet
and
cannolis
, for those who have already sampled Citi Field’s
knish
and want to embark upon a dessert tour of the park. If you don’t hit Mama’s inside the park, we recommend venturing into Corona where you’ll find Mama’s original location on 104th Street.

As for the
Kosher Grill
, it serves much more than just hot dogs and knish. There are also kosher burgers, sausages, and gyros.

There is a sushi bar in the World Fair Market, named
Daruma of Tokyo
, but it was 105 degrees Fahrenheit when we visited Citi for a 12:05 p.m. get-away game between the Mets and Cardinals, and Kevin said that was too warm even for him to eat raw fish. Josh agreed wholeheartedly.

The Catch of the Day
in center field, meanwhile, offers cooked fish and chip platters, fried flounder, and shrimp “poor boy” sandwiches, among other items.

Hot and Sweet Premio Sausages
cook at portable stands right on the concourse, filling the air with the savory aroma of fresh grilled meat. Although he felt it a sacrilege to say so, Josh had to admit the Sweet Italian he ordered, loaded with peppers and onions, was every bit as good as the Sausage Guy’s offerings outside Fenway Park, and maybe a little better. It was juicy but not fatty, and exploded with flavor as he bit into it.

Another favorite is the
Cascarino’s Pizzeria & Ristorante
(established in 1989) stand, which utilizes an actual wood-fired pizza oven on the premises. We thought our cheese slice was way better than the competing slice we sampled at Yankee Stadium and every bit as good as the ballpark ’za served at the fine ballparks in the Pizza Capital of the Midwest, Chicago. Cascarino’s Vodka Sauce pie also piqued our interest, but at $6.00 a slice we decided to stand pat with the cheese slice we’d already split three ways with our friend Joe. Later in the day, a Mets fan we met heartily recommended the Meatball Parm sandwich at Cascarino’s.

A
Box Frites
stand sells Belgian french fries, which come with several different dipping sauces (we recommend the Rosemary Ranch). And a
Blue Smoke
barbecue pit sells Kansas City pulled pork sandwiches, ribs, chipotle chicken wings, and barbecued beef bologna. We weren’t brave enough to try the bologna, and opted for a pulled pork sandwich. The generous mound of pork was lean and tasty, but a tad on the dry side. It didn’t seem to have any sauce on it, which was surprising. Nor did it come with sauce on the side, just a few pickle slices. By the time we realized this, the line was too long for us to attempt a return trip solely for sauce procurement. Don’t get us wrong. It was a quality sandwich on a nicely toasted roll, but it needed some sauce. So be sure to ask for some when you order.

El Verano Taquerina
has Chile-Marinated skirt steak, Carnitas, Chicken Mole Pipian, and steamed corn on the cob slathered with mayonnaise. We tasted some of our friend Joe’s skirt steak and it was juicy and delicious.

In left-center on the first level, a
hot pastrami and rye
stand provides as authentic a taste of New York as you’ll find in the park. Burgers and pulled pork are wonderful ballpark treats, but if you’re in the Big Apple, you’re in pastrami land. We couldn’t find belly space to try the ballpark pastrami or knish, but the long line of salivating folks in orange T-shirts told us the offerings were to-die-for.

The Brooklyn Burger served at the
Keith Hernandez Grill
on the first level’s left-field concourse is a pretty tasty choice if you don’t have the patience to wait in line for a Shack Burger.

Here’s another area in which the Mets exceed their deeper-pocketed crosstown rivals. The Beers of the Big Apple stands at Citi Field serve Stella Artois, Goose Island, Polar Garden, Kirin, Land Shark Lager, Kona Longboard Lager, Leffe Blond Lager, Hoegarden, and about twenty-five other fine brews. That’s more than you find at some sports bars. Or you can be an average slob and settle for a Budweiser.

A variety of wines can also be purchased at locations throughout the park. There is also a Rum bar in the centerfield food court that serves fruity frozen drinks. There are also five sit-down restaurants available to those holding Club tickets (read: not you!).

Ah, the ballpark. That magical place that exists in a universe all its own. That timeless fantasy land to which we escape when our mundane lives become too much to bear. In the darkest days of January, sometimes Josh will boil a half-dozen dogs, crack open a bag of nuts, water down a Bud Light, pop Game 4 of the 2004 World Series into his DVD player, and imagine he’s sitting at Busch Stadium in St. Louis on the night the Red Sox won it all. He closes his eyes and meditates, ensconced by the sounds, smells, and tastes of the game. He listens for the crack of the bat, the pop of the ball hitting the catcher’s mitt, the crowd rising to cheer or groan in unison, the heckling of the happy drunks, the deafening roar of the jet engines…. Wait a minute. Jet engines?

Welcome to Citi Field. As was the case when they played at Shea Stadium, the Mets take the field directly beneath one of LaGuardia Airport’s main flight paths. The jets pass directly over the stadium all game long, and they’re still pretty low to the ground. They’re loud. Not a little loud. Really, really loud. So bring earplugs if you have sensitive ears and prepare yourself for the many interrupted conversations you’ll have as the game plays out, as you and your buddies constantly pause to let the big birds pass before continuing whatever you were saying.

We found Citi Field to be a friendly place. Sure, it helped that Josh was wearing a Mets T-shirt by the third inning. He did this ironically, and told the affable season ticket holder seated next to him as much. Josh confessed to being a Red Sox fan, which prompted the man to ask whether Josh was
also a New England Patriots fan. When Josh replied in the affirmative, the fellow said, “The Jets are gonna kick their butts this year,” but the orange-clad gent was a fast friend. He tipped us off to the best food items at Citi and even gave us directions out of town when we confessed that our GPS had taken us to Prince Street in Little Italy instead of Prince Street in Flushing during our pregame search for our hotel. “You didn’t realize you were on the wrong island?” the man asked, astounded by our lack of topographic awareness.

We were surprised to hear a chorus of “Let’s Go, Yankees” rise from a group of twenty-somethings as they traveled en masse down the ballpark exit ramp after the game. It was soon drowned out by a resounding “Yankees Suck” from the others walking nearby.

Josh:
Funny thing. We didn’t see or hear from any Mets fans when we visited Yankee Stadium.

Kevin:
You carry yourself with a bit more bravado once your team wins its twenty-seventh championship or so, I suppose.

Josh:
Or maybe Mets fans just aren’t as obnoxious as Yankee fans.

Kevin:
Yeah, that explanation works for me too.

We miss the old jet races that used to take place on the Shea Stadium JumboTron. It was nice to know the Mets had a sense of humor, back then, about the roaring monstrosities that incessantly fly overhead. Why this Mets trademark didn’t make the trip next door with the team, we have no idea, but we sure hope the Mets consider returning to their routes … um … we mean roots … and bring back the big birds on their bigger-than-before stadium board.

We were a bit shocked and disappointed to hear Mets fans actually respond on cue when the JumboTron “noise meter” appeared and demanded applause and cheering at a pretty ho-hum moment in a lopsided Mets loss.

As environmentalists we applaud the no-flow urinals in the men’s room. Okay, maybe we’ll wait until we finish up in the bathroom to applaud. But we think they’re a great idea.

Josh:
I bet the fish in Flushing Bay appreciate this ballpark nuance.

Kevin:
I’m pretty sure the fish left for cleaner waters long ago.

A big clear barrel on the first-level right-field concourse sits brimming with batting-practice balls. If you can guess how many are within, you win a prize. To submit your best guess, you text your answer to a number posted on the barrel.

Kevin:
What are you doing? Stand up.

Josh:
I’m counting.

Kevin:
You realize this is a thinly disguised advertisement for Verizon, right?

Josh:
So was that a SpongeBob mascot you just posed with?

Kevin:
Hey, I already sent the picture home to Maeve and Rory. They’ll love it.

Josh:
If you told me during our first trip eight years ago that we’d one day do it all again
and
pose with cartoon characters
, and
wirelessly send photos home to our kids….

Kevin:
Life changes, but it’s all good.