Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (54 page)

Atop the scoreboard fly the flags honoring the World Championships won by the mighty Cardinals. At the time of this printing there were eleven: 1926, 1931, 1934, 1942, 1944, 1946, 1964, 1967, 1982, 2006, and 2011. The Dodgers and the Giants have been to the Series as many times (eighteen each), but the Cards have come away with more wins. Nipping at their heels are the A’s with nine world titles, and the recently resurgent Red Sox with seven.

Josh:
Seven and counting!

Kevin:
Give it a rest.

Josh:
I’m gonna shout it from the hilltops!

Kevin:
My next book might be titled:
Confessions of a Former Friend to a Red Sox Fan.

The Budweiser/Cardinal-logo clock is a nice element of the ballpark. With the beer logo and the Cardinal birds built into the design, it is equal parts both, and telling about how tied together these two brands are. This beer company has had naming rights for three consecutive stadiums! In any case, the clock is non-digital, and continues to project the old-time feel that is present throughout the rest of the ballpark.

Most people will miss this unless they are looking for it, but painted in white on the concrete floor of the first level, beyond the left-field foul pole where the outfield plaza transitions into the exterior concourse, you can find the foul line from Busch Memorial. They’ve recreated it, but when you stand on the line and walk toward the center-field plaza, you’re walking from what was once right field into right-center of the old ballpark. Look on the wall near the foul line for a rendering in bronze of the overlap of the two ballparks.

Listing the retired numbers for the Cardinals is like listing all of the XXX clubs in Amsterdam. Looking out to centerfield, above seating Sections 501–505 and to the right of the batter’s eye, you’ll see those so honored: number 1 for Ozzie Smith, 2 for Red Schoendienst, 6 for Stan Musial, 9 for Enos Slaughter, 14 for Ken Boyer, 17 for Dizzy Dean, 20 for Lou Brock, 24 for Whitey Herzog, 42 for Bruce Sutter and Jackie Robinson, and 45 for Bob Gibson. The number 85 is also retired for former owner August (Gussie) Busch Jr., and longtime Cardinals broadcaster Jack Buck is honored with a microphone symbol. Hall of Famer Rogers Hornsby, who played in the days before players wore numbers on their uniforms, is honored by the “SL” symbol. All these tributes can also be found along the outfield fence in the left-field corner of the ballpark.

Kevin:
If once is good, twice is better, right?

Josh:
Wrong. Once is sufficient.

Kevin:
You’re not still sore I made you eat that second plate of El Birdo nachos?

Josh:
I told you I was stuffed before you got in line.

Kevin:
But I paid for it, so you had to eat it.

Two pitchers who passed away during past seasons are also honored by the Cardinals. In the back of the Cardinals bullpen, “DK” and “JH” hang in remembrance. The DK is for Darryl Kile, who passed away during the 2002 season due to coronary disease. The JH is for Josh Hancock, who died in a car crash early in the 2007 season.

At Busch, fans can fashion their own handmade bats on the first-level center-field concourse. While Rawlings employees look on, fans use lathes to make their hitting sticks.

Josh:
I’m calling mine Wonder Boy.

Kevin:
How about “Savoy Special”?

Josh:
Annie Savoy?

The amusement area in centerfield fills up with families whose kids have short attention spans. The area is nicely done, for what it is. It just looks like a mall out there, not a ballpark.

The mall feeling gets worse as you head out to the “Big Auto Company” Plaza. There are cars on display (we assume for purchase) as well as tractors. Meanwhile, sales agents set up in tents, peddling insurance, fan photos, cell phones, and Cardinals’ game-worn apparel.

Josh:
I never expected this. It is so sales-y.

Kevin:
It really feels like they’re out to make a buck, doesn’t it?

Josh:
Takes you right out of the game and puts you on the showroom floor.

Okay, the Cardinals’ mascot doesn’t have quite the cachet of the Famous Chicken, but in our book he’s more legit than Wally the Green Monster and Billy the Marlin. At least his species is recognizable upon examination. And he’s got a following of children, men, and women who emulate him. Some St. Louis fans—young and old—wear foam Cardinal-heads that come complete with feathers that flow down to their shoulders. They’re pretty hilarious and not in the least bit ridiculous.

Inside the main team store you can stuff your own Red Bird mascot. While this may not be high on your list of things to do at the game, Josh got a kick out of making a ridiculously obese Red Bird to bring home for his son Spencer. You know, there’s just something hilarious about a really fat Red Bird.

The food at New Busch Stadium was a big disappointment for us, especially after we so enjoyed the eats at Busch Memorial our first time around the bigs. The Super Smokers, Pork Chop Sandwiches, and toasted raviolis we’d enjoyed at the old park were no longer on the menu. Note to management: Bring back the toasted ravioli, at the very least. No, sadly, the food selection in the common seating areas to which we were granted access has gone down considerably in quality, while nearly everything else about the ballpark has gotten better. You know things are pretty bad when we actually considered putting the Hardee’s Burger as a Trademark Food!

Luckily, Broadway BBQ is there to save the day. If you only eat one thing at Busch Stadium, make it the beef brisket. It’s a deliciously rendered brisket, juicy and bounding with flavor. The turkey leg is also a solid choice, as is the pulled pork sandwich. The sides were good as well. We liked the smokey beans and fries we could dip in all the sauces.

The first hot dog we tried was mealy, the same way a mealy apple turns to mush in your mouth. The Hebrew National dogs from the carts are grilled and as good as always. But then, when we were trying to think up incredibly average things to say about the average dog, we discovered the St. Louis-style, grilled, bacon-wrapped barbeque hot dog. And we thought they only had these lovelies outside Dodger Stadium! You can get these with any combination of beans, pickles, barbecue sauce, spicy mayo, pico de gallo, and grilled onions. You don’t have to put all that on there, but we think you should for a wonderful mélange of flavors competing to burst through. There, we used “mélange” twice in this chapter. That’s got to be a new record for baseball writers!

The
foot-long brat
is about the only other worthwhile thing you’re going to find on this meager menu. They’re grilled up nice and the folks packing them know how to put together a nice brat in these parts. Again Josh went for the ketchup, which Kevin finds to be wrong on multiple levels. The
pulled pork potato skins
are awfully nice little slices of heart attack waiting to happen, too. But what a way to go. The pork is cooked separately and then drizzled over the crispy skins. Another treat to sample is the
Waffle Supreme,
which is a thick waffle doused in chocolate sauce, and topped with fresh strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream. We don’t care if it’s dessert, it’s good.

If you’re interested in healthy options, you should choose a different sport to watch. Seriously, though, there are some decent options at the
Farmer’s Market
stand. If it’s 100 degrees Fahrenheit and you just can’t bear the thought of eating anything fried, greasy, or hot, why not try some fresh fruit, yogurt, a smoothie, or even a delicious wrap sandwich. Yeah, we’re not buying it either. Ben and Jerry’s ice cream will do the trick twice as nicely.

Don’t let the Mexican blankets and the red Chile pepper on the logo fool you into thinking that El Birdo’s gourmet nachos are anything other than el regular 7-Eleven nachos, and rank as some of the worst ballpark food we’ve ever tried … and this is after they let us build our own. We get that these Midwesterners want to deep-fry everything then dip it in cheese. We do too, but we’ve had much better nachos at a truck stop. At least there you expect them to be awful.

Since the toasted ravioli isn’t offered any longer, we again sampled the deep-fried beef cannelloni, a St. Louis original. Talk about going from first to worst. For some reason, the cannelloni wasn’t as good as we remembered from our first trip. The casing was nice and crispy, but the beef filling was putrid. And the marinara that we so enjoyed last time came in a plastic cup with a peel-off lid, sort of like you’d serve applesauce to a three-year-old. Severely disappointing, as we were really looking forward to this ballpark treat.

Josh:
Hardee’s Burgers? Really?

Kevin:
I thought you like Hardees.

Josh:
No, that’s Arby’s.

Bud, Bud Light, and Bud Select are the dominant beers available, as you might expect at a stadium named Busch. And there is something very good about draining a cold brew that’s watered down when it’s dang hot outside. But strangely enough, you can’t get a Busch Beer at Busch Stadium. It’s odd the way the world works.

Anheuser Busch was bought by InBev to become AB InBev, which makes it a bit easier to find quality microbrews as well, if that’s your thing. Schlafly Brewery products are readily available, such as their Pale Ale, Hefeweizen, and Summer Lager. Where Busch Memorial only had two locations for this local microbrew, the new Busch Stadium even advertises the brew. Also available for the avid drinker is the Back Stop Bar behind home plate, and the Casino Queen Party Porch, which feature beers by Schlafly, Fat Tire, and O’Fallon, as well as a fully stocked bar.

Cardinal fans are among the best in any sport. Sure they may not wear hilariously self-deprecating and irreverent T-shirts like Giants fans do (they save their snarky T’s for tooling on Cubs fans), and they may not act like jerks like fans in Philly and Boston when their team loses, but they are fiercely loyal to their Red Birds, and we admire them for it. Because nearly everyone at the park wears some kind of Cardinal red, the red seats don’t seem to change much in appearance before, during, or after the game. The seats merely appear to grow faces, as the red crowd takes its place as part of the gameday backdrop. Fans expect to win, and will begin to voice their displeasure only when the team is not doing exactly that. But they never turn hostile.

Here you have baseball tradition, a rabid fan base, and now—finally—a ballpark setting worthy of it all. From the Clydesdales that trot out for special occasions, to the knowledgeable and friendly Midwestern fans who stay until the last out is recorded, Busch Stadium offers one of the best experiences in baseball, and is a must stop on any road trip.

In homage to the Budweiser culture that dominated Busch Memorial for years and in memory of the late Gussie Busch, they still drive a team of Clydesdales around the warning track every Opening Day and before playoff games. The “Budweiser Horses,” as they are commonly known, trot to the tune of polka music.

Ms. Thaman and Ms. Niekamp are our kind of super-fans. Ms. Thaman has been coming to the ballpark since 1926, the year the Cards won their first World Series. Her daughter Jackie started joining her in 1951. Now they never miss a game together, rain or shine, winning season or losing. Every ballpark should be so lucky to have fans as true as these two wonderful ladies.

Hat Man Thomas Lange designs his own elaborate hats that he wears to the ballpark, each one paying tribute to a special player or moment in Cardinals history. One hat commemorates the Cards winning eleven World Series, another honors Stan Musial, and one even honors Fred Bird.

Josh:
Those are some fancy lids.

Kevin:
Honorable Mention for super-fan—the person in the seat behind the Hat Man.

Don’t be alarmed if you’re sitting in Section 501 and a big-bellied fan sits down next to you without a shirt. And oh yeah, his belly, back, and entire torso will be painted white so as to better create a background on which to write hilarious messages like: “Cubs, Cursed Since 1908.” His name is Kirk Pound and he is happy to pose for pictures with like-minded Red Bird rooters.

From 1985 to 2007, Paul Pagano showed up at Cardinals games to spread good cheer. A St. Louis icon, Paul also attended local fairs and carnivals, traveled as far away as Milwaukee for the Italian Festival, and marched in Chicago’s Columbus Day Parade. At Cardinals games, fans recognized him as the older fellow decked out in the colors of the American flag, walking around with a “No. 1 Fan” sign.