Unbind My Heart (29 page)

Nodding, she looked at Sean, still pissed.  “I’m sorry for cursing at you, Sean.  I’m supposed to let you say your peace before I tear you a new one.”  Cheekily, she glanced at her husband and asked, “Did I get that right, honey?”

A hand landing on her bottom made her jump.  She looked stunned that he’d done that.  Her eyes flying around the room showed she was even more shocked that he had done it in front of their company. 

“Keep it up and they will see more than a love tap, darlin’.  I mean it.”

“She deserves a paddling for her lip, Pete, but she’s right about the other.”  Sean’s fingers furrowed through his hair as he sighed heavily again. “I have been acting like a prick.  Mara hurt me, badly.  The short time we spent together when I brought her here was enough to show me I still have feelings for her.  I don’t want to.  I couldn’t bear losing my heart to her again.  It nearly killed me the first time.” 

Looking up at them with tired eyes, he continued, his voice strained.  “I couldn’t stand the thought of her at a nursing home.  Rehab facilities wouldn’t take her because she had weeks in that hardware and couldn’t really do any therapy per se.  Therefore, I brought her home, set her up with what I thought was a quality home care agency, and left it to them.  I kept in touch with the nursing supervisor at least twice a week who assured me she was doing well.  This is the first I’ve heard anything about weight loss or depression, I swear.”  He looked from Joanna to Lexie, the more sympathetic of the two, and said, “I fucked up.  I swear I’m really not such a prick that I would have purposely ignored her health.” 

His words or his defeated tone must have convinced Joanna because she wavered a bit.

“She doesn’t even have a phone in that room.  She couldn’t have called for help if she wanted to, if her nurse didn’t show up for work or for 911 in an emergency.”

“That didn’t even cross my mind,” Sean said, shamefaced.

Finally, as Lexie figured she would, Joanna caved.  Walking forward, she sat next to Sean and took one of his large hands in hers.  “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions, Sean.  I think you’ll understand when you see her.  Afterward, think about moving forward.  You can’t hang in limbo like this forever.  You have to either fix it or move on, don’t you think?  It’s been two years.”

His defeated eyes rose to Joanna.  Although a submissive at The Club, she was well-respected by the Rossi men for all of her charitable work with the women’s shelters in San Antonio.  She had been responsible for establishing a network of support programs for battered women, as ironic as it sounded, considering she let her husband paddle her butt often enough.  She was a kind, giving woman and as smart as they came.  She also cared deeply about her friends; it showed in her defense of Mara today and her compassion just now with Sean.

Pete walked up behind his wife and laid a big hand on her shoulder.  “She’s right, you know.  It’s not fair to Mara nor to you to continue like this.”

“I agree,” Jonas chimed in.  “You’ve been miserable since she left.  You’ve got to cut her loose totally and move on, or try to make it work.”

“She’s as miserable as you are, Sean.”  Lexie said as she watched pain cloud his eyes.  “She needs to be able to move forward as well.”

“Other than what’s going on now, I don’t know why that would be, Lexie.  Mara doesn’t know we’re still married.”

Everyone’s sudden intake of breath broadcast their shock at that statement. 

“I know I’m a bastard and need to put up or shut up.  I just don’t know how the fuck I’m going to make it happen.  Because for some reason that I can’t explain, even after leaving me as she did, and all that she’s done...”  His eyes met Jonas’ and he nodded.  “Yeah, bud, I’ve seen the pictures.  Despite all that, I still love her and that means that I’m fucked.”

***

Jonas pulled his Mercedes into a covered parking spot outside his condo about thirty minutes later.  Lexie had nodded off along the way.  She’d overdone it, just as he feared. After being cooped up for weeks, he couldn’t blame her for wanting to get out of the house. Did her first excursion have to be to a hotbed of emotional drama?

He came around to her side just as she was rousing from sleep.  He opened her door and squatted beside her.  “Hey, there sleepy head.  You had quite a day, didn’t you?”

“I guess I underestimated how drained a little activity would make me.”

He grunted in response and reached in to release her seatbelt.  It was followed by a little squeal as he scooped her up in his arms.  Closing the car door with his hip, he locked it with his remote as he strode easily toward the entrance with his warm bundle of woman safely ensconced in his arms.  He realized his miscalculation as he got to the entrance with his arms full and was unable to enter his security code.  Luck was in his favor as one of his neighbors exited at that moment and held the door for him.  The man smiled at them as they passed.

“Did you tie the knot and not clue us in Jonas?”

“Not yet, Clyde” was his answer, “but yours will be the first invitation that gets stamped.”

“Congrats, man!”

Lexie’s arms tighten around his neck and he heard her little intake of breath.

“What’s wrong, Sunshine?”  He glanced down at her in concern.  “Are you in pain?”

“No, Jonas, it isn’t that.”  Her voice was hushed as another neighbor passed, giving them a smile and a nod in greeting.  She waited until they were alone in the elevator before she continued.  “You told your neighbor we were getting married.”

“Aren’t we?”

“Um—well, we haven’t really talked about it much.”

He paused when they got to his front door.  He stood her on her feet, dug out his keys and let them in.  The next instant, he cradled her again and started toward the bedroom.  “I guess I wasn’t clear what I meant by building a life together.  I’ll correct that right now.”

She seemed incapable of speech as he stood her by the side of their bed.  He had her clothes off and her naked body beneath the covers in seconds.  After she was tucked in, he crossed to his dresser and removed a black velvet ring box from the top drawer.  Sitting beside her, he bent and kissed a rosy nipple that peeked at him over the edge of the comforter before moving to her lips and brushing them in a whisper of a kiss.

“I love you, Lexie, and although I imagined this moment with a bit more romance, I don’t want you feeling unsure of what this is between us.  I made up my mind a while ago that you were the one for me.  That is what this has been about, living together, learning about one another, allowing you to be comfortable with who and what I am.  We’ve had some major detours along our path, which is another reason why we shouldn’t want to wait any longer.  You are already my dorei, my lover, my submissive and my friend,” he said, and opened the box, showing her the ring he’d picked out. “Now I’d like you to be my wife.”  He noticed her eyes were on him, not the ring, which made him smile.  “Will you marry me, Sunshine?”

“Oh, Jonas!” She sat up and wrapped her arms in a death grip around his neck.

“Is that a yes?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Yes, yes and yes!  What I feel for you… well, it’s beyond what I can express in mere words.”

“Try for me, baby.”

“You make me happy, and I laugh more around you than ever. I feel valued, more so than any time in my life. Even when you’re in Master Jonas mode and are dictating orders left and right, I don’t mind because you’re showing how much you care.  After a childhood where that rarely happened, you make me feel warm, nurtured and cherished. I feel safe with you and trust you with my life. I love you, Jonas Mitchell.  Absolutely, I will marry you.” 

Her hands rose to cup his face and she kissed him.  Jonas’ heart was full, feeling all the love she felt for him poured into that kiss.

“For someone who had trouble finding words to express her feelings, you did a commendable job.”

She giggled, smiling prettily and glowing with happiness.

“I want you to be sure this time, Lexie.  No regrets about trading companionship and friendship for love?”

“There’ll be no regrets. Even though it’s only been a few months, I know you, Jonas, and I’ve had the joy of watching you. You’re a good, decent man, giving and kind to your many friends. I love how you are with kids, especially your students.  That day we stopped by the dojo while you were still recovering from your wound, the kids swarmed around you, looking at you with awe as if you’d hung the moon.  You are wonderful with them, and I know you will be the same with our children someday.  All those things and more make me know this is for real this time. Then there is the passion… it’s hot and amazing and I have this overwhelming wish—check that, it’s an overwhelming need—to belong to you, for always.”

“Christ, baby, what you do to me.”  He took her mouth; actually, it was more like he possessed it, as his overwhelming need to mark her as his own swept through him.  He’d use his body first, then his ring and soon a collar.  He’d already selected the design, and it was being custom made.  Tearing his mouth from her, he stood and stripped off his clothes.

As his eyes ran over her treasured face, she threw back the covers for him, parting her thighs as she held out her arms expectantly.  He was on her in an instant and found his way home, between her welcoming folds.  There was no slow build-up, no playfulness or foreplay at all.  They didn’t need it as they came together passionately, totally in sync with one another. The culmination was explosive, leaving them both quivering and breathless, clutching each other tightly in the aftermath.

When Jonas eased down beside her, he grimaced as something dug into his ribs.  Lifting up, he saw the ring box and grinned.  “Sunshine, I know for sure it’s true love. You totally disregarded the hardware and focused on the man.”  Kissing her tenderly, he whispered, “I love that about you.”

“I forgot in all the excitement.”  Disregarding her nakedness, she pushed up to a seated position and looked eagerly at the ring box.  “Open it and let me see.”  She was humming with delight.  When he opened the box, she sucked in a stuttering rush of air and her eyes moistened with tears.

“Jonas,” she finally managed, “it’s stunning.  I’ve never a stone that color.  What is it?” Her eyes fixated on the ring as he removed it from the box and gently took her left hand. 

“This is a Tiffany yellow diamond.  Its brilliance reminds me of golden sunshine, just like you.” As he slid on the stunning two-carat yellow diamond, flanked by smaller round white diamonds set in a gold and platinum band, tears overflowed onto her cheeks. “When I saw it, I knew it was perfect for your ring.”

“I’ve never owned anything like this, Jonas.  I’m almost afraid to wear it.”

“I took out a special rider, Sunshine.  You’re covered.”

“Even so, I’d be devastated if I lost it.  To be safe, I’ll never take it off.”  She beamed up at him.  “I’m so happy.”

“That is what I like to hear.”  Pushing her down against the pillows, he watched as finally, she admired her glittering engagement ring on her left ring finger.  “You’ve had a busy day; rest for a bit while I round us up some supper.”

“I couldn’t sleep.  I’m too excited.”

“Try for me, okay?  If nothing else, just lie here and rest for about an hour.”

“Okay.”  Reaching up, she caressed his cheek.  “You take such good care of me, Jonas.”

“It is my extreme pleasure, Lexie.  Now rest.”  He pressed one more kiss to her lips, pulling away when things started heating up again.  He felt her eyes on him, but didn’t give in to the temptation, refusing to meet her gaze until he was fully clothed.

“Rest now, Lexie, play later.  I don’t want any setbacks.  Understand?”

“Yes, husband-to-be,” she answered with a smile, cut short as she tried to stifle a yawn.  Unsuccessful, she looked at him and blushed to her ears when she finished.  “I guess I could nap for a bit.”

She snuggled into the pillows and curled up on her side beneath the comforter.  Already half asleep, her sweet voice barely audibly as she said, “Love you, Jonas.”

He chuckled as he leaned down to press a kiss to her temple.  Her eyes had closed and she was well on her way when he replied, “I love you too, baby.”

Lying in bed cuddling with Jonas the next morning, Lexie sighed as she recalled the previous evening.  After a three-hour nap, she’d woken for supper.  Not long after, she’d nodded off again while the opening credits were still rolling on the move they’d picked out. She knew it would take time to regain her strength and endurance, but Lexie found it frustrating. She also knew it was futile to talk to Jonas about returning to work even part-time when she couldn’t go out for the day with requiring a nap like a cranky toddler and then falling asleep again before seven o’clock.  She didn’t have the energy for an argument that she would undoubtedly lose.

Jonas was idly rubbing the edge of his thumb against her nipple while he palmed her breast.  Although they’d just finished making love and he had brought her to climax twice, his caresses were arousing her again.  With her back to his chest, she could feel him responding as well, with his semi-hard erection nudging along the split of her bottom. 

“Don’t you have a meeting this morning?” she asked, arching her back to press her bottom more firmly against him at the same time offering more of her breast, silently encouraging his fingers to play.  “Maybe we shouldn’t start again if you have to go.”

“It’s not until eleven. We have plenty of time.”  He spread light kisses across her shoulder as he pinched her nipple more firmly.  “I was thinking, now that the doctor has released you, we need to do some rope work and get back into our classes.”

She stiffened instantly.  Although she’d like nothing more than to be bound in his ropes once again, she couldn’t possibly be his model anymore.  Her scars were too ugly to be photographed.  Maybe he was just referring to her assisting during his classes.  That would be okay as long as she could keep covered.   

Rolling her to her back, he looked down at her with concern. “What is it?”  His probing gaze seemed to read her thoughts.  “Don’t you feel ready?  We can wait a few weeks before we resume anything too extreme.  We can focus on knots, ankle and wrist ties and accessories.”

Accessories caught her attention, and she wanted to know more about what that was, but she needed to set things straight.  “Surely you can’t want me to continue modeling.”

He looked taken aback, obviously startled by her question.  “Why wouldn’t I?  The surgeon said you’re healed.  He told me to wait a few more weeks before doing any suspensions, but he released you back to regular activity, for both work and play.  So what is the problem?”

“You talked to my doctor about rope bondage?  My goodness, Jonas! I worked with him, and his wife.”

“I need to get you back to The Club, as well.  Your doctor and his wife are both members, Sunshine.”

“No way!”

“Yes way,” he said with a laugh.

“Wow.  Is everyone in San Antonio kinky?”

“No, but we do seem to run in tight circles.  Does that resolve your worries?”

She looked away.  Her scars were ugly, still red, swollen and puckered.  What was Jonas thinking?  Surely, he found them just as unattractive as she did.  He’d already scheduled an appointment with a plastic surgeon.  When he’d mentioned it, she had told him the standard of care was to wait a year to allow full healing. He was going by Elena’s experience, but a lash was much different from a bullet ripping through layers of skin and muscle.

Jonas said he wanted to talk to the specialist even if it was just a consult.  She had been convinced that they bothered him more than he let on, now this.  She was confused.  Maybe he was afraid she’d have hurt feelings if he didn’t use her in his project.

“Lexie, you’re miles away.  Talk to me.”  He cupped her cheek and his thumb was wiping away a tear before she even knew it had fallen. 

“I thought you’d want to find a different model who wasn’t so…” She looked away, struggling to find the right word when so many came to mind; flawed, damaged, marred.  Finally, she settled upon one.  “I’m disfigured, Jonas.  You can’t mean to photograph me with these hideous scars. I’ll understand if you don’t want to use me anymore.”

He was silent for a long time, so long that she became concerned and looked up at him.  The anger she saw in his eyes startled her.  What had she said, other than the truth?  

“You are very lucky that I don’t have time to deal with that idiotic statement right now.”  He kissed her hard and quick, then rolled out of bed.  As he walked toward the bathroom, he threw an order over his shoulder.  “We’re going to The Club tonight.  Be ready at six o’clock for dinner—short dress and heels—nothing else.”

She watched him go, puzzled.  Why was he so upset?  She had given him an out.  Climbing out of bed, she padded along after him, determined to find out.  He was naked and stepping into the shower as she walked in.

“Not now, Lexie.  I’m angry and in a hurry.”

He stepped in and closed the glass door behind him.  His back to her, she watched with avid eyes, as the water ran over him, pouring down his rippling, muscular back and over his tight, toned ass.  Shaking herself, she moved forward.  Risking his anger, she stepped into the shower behind him.

“Don’t be cross with me, Jonas.  I’m sorry.”

Ignoring her at first, he bent his head under the water and rinsed his hair until it was free of suds.  Only then did he turn to her, inquiring, “Exactly why are you sorry?”

“I made you angry.”

“Do you know why I’m angry?”

“No, I was hoping you could tell me that.  I imagine it had something to do with me trying to bow out of the project.  I could help find another model.”

“Dammit, Lexie.” 

Stepping forward, he pressed her against the shower wall and encroached into her space.  The thigh he pressed between her thighs was hard and muscular and the lightly haired skin rubbed against her pussy.  She gasped at the stimulation. 

“I’m insulted.  Do you have so little faith in me that you think I would ditch you over two small scars?  To you they seem glaringly obvious, but they’re hardly disfiguring. I love you.  Don’t you think I would do everything possible to show you in the very best light?”

“You seemed so anxious about the plastic surgery, I thought—” She choked on her words, beginning to understand she had projected her own self-doubts onto him. 

“Sunshine, you are as beautiful as ever to me, but I know the scars bother you.  I simply wanted to get an opinion early on and to learn about any preliminary measures necessary to make the grafts successful when the time comes.”

“Jonas—” she began, her voice raw with emotion. She pressed her face against his wet skin, regardless of the water pouring down his chest as she continued.  “I didn’t mean to insult you.  I suppose I’ve been focused on myself too much lately.”

“My God, Lex.  You were shot and almost died.  I understand being focused on yourself, but you can’t let these insignificant blemishes alter your self-image.  You are beautiful and you are mine.  Do you think me so superficial that they would alter my image of you?”

“No, Jonas.”  Tears mixed with the spray from the shower rolled down her cheeks.  “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.  Remember how angry you got when I was wallowing in guilt after you were shot?  You called me on it. Can you understand that I feel the same way when you call yourself disfigured and hideous?  Beauty is all I see when I look at you.  Got it?”

“Got it.  Please be patient with me while I work through my insecurities, Jonas."

“Don’t say anymore stupid things and we won’t have a problem.”

Startled, she looked up at him, blinking as the water splattered off his chest into her face.  The familiar words she’d so boldly thrown his way about his misplaced guilt were returned to her word for word. 

Anger now faded, he winked at her and lowered his head for a kiss.  “We’ll work on those insecurities tonight, Sunshine.” With barely controlled passion, he took her lips, fiercely and clearly demonstrated his love for her.

A short time later, Lexie sat on the bed, warm and rosy from the shower and their frantic lovemaking.  She bit her lip, hiding her smile as she watched him rush around their room, pulling on his clothes.  Still buttoning his shirt, he dropped a kiss on the top of her damp head, eyeing her towel-clad form with a groan.  Her grin broke free as he tore out of the room, grumbling over his lack of self-control.

***

The lights were warm against her skin; the fan blowing gently, lifting her hair as it flowed softly around her shoulders and down her back.  She knelt on a padded mat, strewn with leaves in vivid fall colors of orange, red and gold.  The gold was the exact color of the satiny robe that hung loosely open.  Barely covering her shoulders it dipped low in the back as it fluttered in the gentle breeze from the fan.  The karada hugged her body as the snuggly fitting harness bound her torso, the web-like design enhancing the beauty of her creamy soft skin.  Her wrists were tied above her head and attached to the branch of the tree that was the backdrop to her pose. 

The stage was set. Her master’s deep, soothing voice, the bound submissive pose, and the varied sensations had arousal humming through her body. Collectively, it brought her once again to an altered state consciousness, as if she was floating.  Her breathing was shallow as she listened to the soft drone of low male voices and the occasional click of a camera. 

“Deep breaths for me, dorei.” Jonas’ order was low and hushed, but still undoubtedly a command. 

She responded without thought, her rib cage expanding, her breasts lifting and swelling more.  The hard peaks ached for attention as a groan slipped from between her now parted lips. 

“Almost done, beautiful, just a few more shots.” 

She felt his hand in her hair as he gently tugged until her head fell back, exposing her throat.  He swept her hair back so it fell freely behind her leaving nothing to veil her bare breasts or the intricate rope work.  One hand slid down her neck to her throat and caressed the vulnerable area that he knew was so sensitive.  She whimpered and turned her face into his muscular forearm.

“Be still,” he directed gently. 

Being under his command and submitting to his will caused more heat and moisture to pool between her thighs. 

“She’s stunning, Jonas.”  The vaguely familiar male voice surprised her, and she jerked slightly—the photographer—she’d forgotten they weren’t alone.  Feeling a prickle of alarm that threatened to pull her from her dream-like haze, she moved restlessly.  Something light and airy seemed to float across her thigh, tickling her.  Frowning, she remembered Jonas sprinkling a few leaves across the apex of her thighs, which were closed in her kneeling position leaving only her breasts and torso bare.  She’d wanted to believe it was for Jonas alone, but there was a stranger here.

“Easy, dorei, relax into your bonds.”  His hand stroked down the length of her hair as he spoke quietly, soothing her and bringing her back to her floating, mindless state of pleasure. 

“Silence, Seth,” Jonas said in the same even tone.  “I don’t want her pulled from rope space just yet. Get a few from behind and slightly to the right.”

The hand stopped its caresses, and she heard him move away.  She heard footsteps and rustling leaves as someone moved behind her, then several soft clicks of a camera.

“Open your eyes and look at me.”

Her Master’s voice, so compelling.  With her head still arched backwards, she opened her eyes, and saw only Jonas.  His blue eyes, brilliant in their intensity, bore into her. 

“That’s my girl, eyes on me.”

She saw the ropes above her move as they pulled her bound hands a bit higher.  He stepped back.  With Jonas still visible on her periphery, she watched as a small smile played about his sexy full lips as he instructed her further.

“Arch your back for me.”

Fully responsive to his command, she arched, lifting her breasts higher.  Her head tilted back until her long hair brushed her feet.  Her impassioned gaze met his, and her tongue came out, wetting her dry lips.  She wanted him so badly, her body buzzed in anticipation.  Swaying slightly in the ropes, she wondered how much longer he planned to play.   

As if he’d read her mind, he said to the other man, “Get this last shot.”

The clicking sounded again and picked up pace until it reached a crescendo only then did Jonas call and end to it.  

“Enough,” he stated as he approached, “we’re done for tonight.”  His fingers worked at the knot near her wrists, and she whimpered in disappointment.

“Please Master, not yet.”

“Easy.  I’m only removing the suspension rope.  You and I are far from done.”  Standing behind her, his legs provided support as he disconnected her and lowered her hands.  Scooping her up in his arms, he carried her to a couch nearby and sat with her on his lap. 

“I can see you two need some privacy. I’ll just take my cameras and come back for the rest of my equipment in the morning.”  The photographer moved quickly around, packing up his bag.  Lexie didn’t watch as she lay cuddled in Jonas’ arms, but she heard every movement.  Several minutes later, he called from across the room.  “I’ll have the proofs to you by Friday.”

“Thanks for setting this up on short notice.  Call me tomorrow and we’ll schedule the next session.”