Unbound (19 page)

My strawberry blonde hair is now a little bit shorter, but layered in the upper zones, which gives it more body, making it fall over my shoulders like fiery rain. I examine myself carefully from all sides and ask myself if it’s really the new haircut making me look so different. I feel different. Perhaps that’s part of the reason.

Annie and I treat ourselves to a cupcake at “Ottolenghi” on the way back. It’s a restaurant that doubles as a café; with the largest selection of amazing cakes and baked goods I’ve ever seen. I’m still preoccupied by my confusing feelings for Jonathan Huntington.

“Annie, has Jonathan really never had a relationship with any of the women you told me about?”

She looks up from her cake. The question clearly took her by surprise. “Not as far as I know, no. That was Claire’s biggest problem, that she didn’t stand a chance with him.” She cocks her head to one side. “Why do you want to know? Are you planning to have a relationship with him?”

I laugh a little nervously. “As if I could.” Having had sex once doesn’t count as an affair, does it?

“Who knows,” Annie says pensively. “Things seem to be possible for you that weren’t for others.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, shocked, and for a moment I’m afraid I’ve given myself away. But she carries on talking quite normally.

“At first, I was really afraid for you, because I could see how quickly you got emotionally involved with Jonathan Huntington,” she says. “And I couldn’t help remembering how frustrated Claire was when she just couldn’t get anywhere with him. He really hurt her, Grace, hurt her very much,” she looks at me pointedly. “And I wanted to spare you from a similar disappointment. But I can’t deny it anymore, he really does seem to have a crush on you.”

“Really?”

She sighs deeply. “I wish you wouldn’t say that so hopefully, but—yes, really. It’s pretty clear. He lets you work with him, his chauffeur ferries you back and forth across London, and he’s willing to overlook it when you get drunk at a business dinner. Anyone else would have been fired immediately for that, with a hundred per cent certainty. Our dear Mr. Huntington is usually anything other than forgiving when it comes to unprofessional behaviour. And he even let you stay overnight at his place—I mean, come off it.”

She raises her hands. “Until just recently I would have sworn that the man only exists at the office, his private life is so secret. And you already know what his house looks like from the inside.”

I know a few other things too, I think, and feel myself turn red.

“Clearly, quite different rules apply to you than to everyone else.” Annie stirs her tea. “But I still don’t have a good feeling about this, Grace.”

I breathe out hard, because I’m so sick of hearing her warnings—can’t she say something positive about Jonathan for once?—and it doesn’t escape her notice. She looks at me unhappily.

“I’m sorry, I suppose I must sound like my own mother, always pointing the finger.” She leans forward. “But did you know that they call him ‘Hunter’? The reason he’s so successful is that he takes whatever he wants. If in doubt, he’ll do that with you too, Grace. The question is, what happens then. Because, if I’m right about you, you’re not the type to have affairs. If you’re interested in a man, it’s serious. And if you pick Jonathan Huntington, of all people, I really don’t know how it could possibly work. You can ask anybody—they’ll tell you that he’s never had a serious relationship, and he’s broken a hell of a lot of women’s hearts. And I just can’t believe that he’s changed overnight.”

Later, when I’m back in my room, Annie’s words echo in my mind. I’m totally confused now. She’s right. That’s the Jonathan I’ve come to know, too. Someone who knows exactly what he wants. He’s not someone who is willing to compromise.

Where do I come into the picture, then? Why did he bring me in to work for him, when he actually doesn’t need me at all—he really doesn’t, of course he doesn’t, I’m just a burden to him, not a real help, there’s no need to fool myself. Is he doing it because he finds me attractive? Because he likes me? But then why did he emphasize right from the start that he likes to keep business and pleasure absolutely separate? Why didn’t he follow up on his initial seduction long ago?

None of it makes any sense; I’m genuinely at a loss.

So I call my sister, because I can tell her what happened. I’ve just got to get it off my chest, even though I find it a little hard to admit how unusual my first time was. It wasn’t exactly romantic, after all.

But Hope isn’t horrified—she’s delighted. “You really did it? With Jonathan Huntington?” she shrieks down the line. “Wow, Gracie, I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you. So how was it?”

I have to laugh because her reaction comes as such a surprise to me. I wasn’t expecting it.

“Different from what I thought,” I answer, taking a deep breath. “But …pretty good.” Understatement of the year.

Of course she wants to know all the details, which I tell her a little hesitantly, because it seems almost comical to me that I could really have done those shocking things.

Hope, however, seems to find it all quite fascinating.

“In the kitchen? Really?” She giggles. “But you usually avoid anything to do with cooking like the plague.”

My family is always teasing me about how clumsy I can be when it comes to cooking. “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever managed to achieve a satisfying result near a stove.”

She snorts, and I can’t keep a straight face either. We laugh till we’re in tears.

“It’s no laughing matter,” I scold her, when I’m able to talk once more.

“I’m sorry.” Hope clears her throat and manages to pull herself together. “By the way, did you know that just yesterday Mom inquired if you had someone in your life?” she says. “It must be some kind of maternal sixth sense.”

I shake my head involuntarily. “I can’t imagine that.”

I love my mother, but I have a rather distant relationship with her. Perhaps because I’ve never completely forgiven her for the way she behaved after Dad left. She was so caught up in her own unhappiness that she had hardly any time for the needs of her six-year-old daughter, who had to cope with the loss of her father all on her own. And things haven’t changed much in all these years. I prefer to sort things out on my own. So when something is really bothering me, I go to Hope or Grandma Rose, not to Mom.

“Yup. She said she hopes you fall in love soon, she thinks it’s time you did.” Hope is silent for a moment. “Have you, Gracie?” Her voice is serious now. “Are you in love with him?”

I swallow because her question is so unexpected and suddenly my heart is in my mouth.

“Yes,” I say flatly, finally admitting the disturbing truth to myself. It’s true. I’m in love with Jonathan Huntington and probably have been since I was standing in front of him at the airport. Pretty hopelessly in fact. And that’s—not good.

“And what about him? Do you think he’s in love with you, too?”

“I don’t know,” I say, wishing I knew more about men. More about Jonathan.

Hope sighs, but I can hear the smile in her voice when she says: “Gracie, this is so typical of you. First you hardly look at anyone for years on end, and then of all people you fall in love with a filthy, rich Englishman where you’re visiting. You’ve always got to be special.”

The thought that my time here is limited and that Jonathan could send me away again at any time makes my knees very weak, and I’m glad I’m sitting down.

“What should I do now, Hope?”

I can hear my sister laughing. “I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do. Once you’re in love, you’re in love. Just let it happen, that’s what I always do.”

I smile weakly. Yes, that’s what Hope always does, and it works well for her. She approaches relationships in a carefree way, quite unlike me. She falls in love with one guy today and if that doesn’t work out, comforts herself with another guy tomorrow. But this is all new to me. I’ve never been in love before, not like this. And I don’t know how quickly I could get over it, if Jonathan broke my heart.

“Have you told Annie yet?” Hope wants to know, and I answer no. “Then tell her, Grace, OK? She knows Jonathan, after all, and you said that she’s a kind of a friend to you. She’ll surely be able to give you some advice on what to do now.”

I make a face unhappily because I already know what that advice would sound like. Annie doesn’t need to explain to me yet again how pointless it is to fall in love with Jonathan Huntington.

“Promise me that you’ll talk to her, OK, Gracie? Otherwise, I’ll worry about you. You urgently need a confidante.”

“I wish you were here,” I say, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. I suddenly feel terribly lonely.

“Me too.” Hope sighs. “But I’ll tell you one thing: if that guy is horrible to you, I’m coming over right away to get you out of there,” she declares solemnly, and I have to laugh. There’s something comical about the thought of my little sister storming into Jonathan’s office.

After we hang up, I lie in bed, staring at the white ceiling and trying to understand what it all means to me.

I had sex for the first time in my life and it was shockingly beautiful. Breathtaking. Just like the man I had sex with, who’s governed my thoughts and feelings alarmingly for weeks. With whom I’ve fallen in love, even though I promised not to. Because he’s completely unattainable. Far too experienced, far too rich, far too English, far too …everything.

I sigh deeply.

I seem to be in big trouble.

“You can’t go in there right now.” Catherine Shepard greets me with these words on Monday morning, as I’m coming out of the elevator and heading for Jonathan’s office. “Mr. Huntington is in a meeting.”

I stop abruptly and the excited knot in my stomach unravels in a flash; replaced by cold fear, because I wasn’t expecting that. Has Jonathan decided to end my internship and kick me out, after all?

“Who’s he talking to?” I inquire, trying not to reveal how disconcerted I am by the fact that the cool brunette won’t let me join him. Catherine Shepard is observing me with a mixture of curiosity and scorn, as if I’ve suddenly turned into someone she needs to examine more closely, but for whom she doesn’t have very high regard. Her look makes me even more nervous than I already am.

“Mr. Nagako,” she explains curtly.

That unfathomable Japanese man again, I think, asking myself not for the first time what the nature of his relationship with Jonathan is, and why Jonathan speaks fluent Japanese even though the company, as I now know, has hardly any Japanese connections—apart from Nagako Enterprises. Which goes to show how little I know about Jonathan and his past.

Since I have no choice but to wait, I set off again, heading for the office next to Jonathan’s, where I usually sit. But Catherine Shepard stops me again.

“You can’t go in there today.”

I tighten my hands into fists, annoyed. Is she trying to make me angry?

“Why not?”

Catherine, she of the impeccable fashion sense, doesn’t seem to like this inquiry either. But she answers it.

“Mr. Norton is conducting job interviews today, and he needs the room because the candidates are to carry out a few written tasks. It was simplest to seat them in the office.” She smiles sweetly. “You’d better wait over there.”

She indicates the two black visitor armchairs in front of the glass frontage next to the elevator. She couldn’t have put it more clearly. I’m completely superfluous here on the management floor. Although I wish I didn’t, I feel hurt. Of course I can clear my office at any time, if it’s needed for some other purpose. I don’t do anything important in there. I’m replaceable. Get over it.

I walk over to the armchairs, stony-faced, and sink into the one with a view of Jonathan’s office. Catherine Shepard is absorbed in her computer again, a slim, ultra-chic machine that suits both the decor of the lobby and her to a T.

I’m suddenly cold and I pull at the black wrap dress I’m wearing. I simply had to put it on, but I’m regretting it a little now because Annie’s right—actually, it is much too sexy and Jonathan will know why I’m wearing it at once, as soon as he sees me.

But how will he react?

Is the explanation about the job interviews just a pretext? Perhaps Jonathan has arranged to have me wait here so I don’t get any ideas. He’s probably going to put an end to my internship and send me home after all. Did I ruin everything by sleeping with him?

My stomach contracts unpleasantly, while I sit there motionless, waiting. Jonathan’s door remains closed, but the door on the other side opens and Alexander Norton comes out. He gives Catherine Shepard some files then he spots me in my armchair and comes straight over. He’s smiling, but somehow I get the feeling he’s looking at me differently from last week. With completely new interest.

I remember how close he and Jonathan are. Has Jonathan told him what happened?

“Grace, I hope you’re not angry with me for using your office today, just this once,” he says. “It’s only for a few hours and you can go back in as soon as I’ve finished, of course.”

I smile at him. “Of course. No problem,” I say, relieved that the story is clearly true after all. Alexander is about to say something else but, at that moment, the door to Jonathan’s office opens and Yuuto Nagako comes out, closely followed by Jonathan himself. I can immediately feel my heart beating in my throat. But Jonathan doesn’t notice me; he’s focused on Yuuto. Both men look grim and you can tell from their body language that they’ve been arguing.

Yuuto says something in Japanese, which Jonathan answers with a brief sentence that I don’t understand either. They both look very composed and they’re not yelling at each other, but there’s a palpable tension in the air. Then, almost simultaneously, they notice Alexander and me in my armchair and stare at me, as if I were the reason for their disagreement. Yuuto says something else to Jonathan and then turns around abruptly and goes to the elevator, where the open doors close behind him seconds later. I catch one more look from him. It’s oddly fervent, although his face remains unmoved. And then he’s gone.

“What was that?” Alexander wants to know. “Is everything OK?”