Uncle John’s Presents Mom’s Bathtub Reader (24 page)

Frigga is the Norse cosmic mother, the goddess for whom Friday is named. That alone is enough to make anyone love her! Frigga was the goddess of households and in charge of married and motherly love. Like most moms, Frigga knew everything, but in her case, Frigga knew everything because she was the goddess of fate and could foretell everyone’s future. Frigga would never tell anyone their fate since she knew they were powerless to change it.

Only once did Frigga decide that she would go all out to change fate. She did it to save her son, Baldur, a favorite among the gods, beautiful and pure. When it was learned that Baldur was fated to die, Frigga made an effort to save him by making everything in the world—pointy sticks, hard rocks, singing birds, heavy anvils, you name it—promise not to harm him. And everything Frigga asked was granted. Only she forgot to ask the mistletoe to not kill her boy.

Enjoying his newfound invulnerability, Baldur invited the gods and goddesses to hurl things at him for fun. Baldur may have been loved, but he sure wasn’t too bright. Loki, the Norse god of mischief, knew of Frigga’s omission and made an arrow out of mistletoe. He then convinced Hodur, a blind god, to shoot this arrow at Baldur to join in the fun with the other gods. Hodur shot; the arrow struck
Baldur and killed him. The gods mourned long for Baldur and for the fact that even a cosmic mother couldn’t control the fate of her child.

Selu was the great corn mother of Cherokee myth. She and her husband Kanati had it all. Kanati could miraculously provide game for the table, while Selu always had baskets of corn. It was a sweet family life, and you can guess what their son was like, as they named him “Good Boy.”

Unfortunately, Good Boy had a best friend. This friend, Wild Boy, was born from deer blood spilled into a creek. Under Wild Boy’s influence, Selu’s son got into trouble. Despite warnings that he must never follow his parents, Wild Boy convinced Good Boy to follow Kanati. They saw him go into a cave and come out with a freshly killed deer to feed the family. When Kanati was gone, the boys rolled aside a big boulder from the cave entrance and suddenly all the game animals in the world fled the cave. From that day on, hunting was a very difficult labor, requiring great skill.

Wild Boy and Good Boy followed Selu too. They saw her go into a storeroom, shake her body, and miraculously fill a basket with corn. Startled, the boys screamed out that Selu was a witch. The corn mother feared (now that her secret was out) that she would be killed, so she left the world. Before going, Selu gave the two boys careful instructions of what to do to have corn for nourishment. But they didn’t follow her directions completely. To get corn today, farmers must tend it carefully. Corn will not even grow in some parts of the world.

Kanati left to follow Selu. Without the Cherokee couple’s wisdom, people had to work hard to put food on the table. Selu had raised a good boy, but like many other moms, she would probably admit that she should have been more careful about who she let her son hang out with.

A celebration of mothers—good, bad, sappy, and even sexy—over six decades of song. Get down, mama!

“Apron Strings”
by Everything But the Girl
(album:
Acoustic
, 1992)

British pop duo Everything But the Girl is best known in the United States for the cool techno longing of their dance hit “Missing,” but before that singer Tracey Thorn expressed a warm longing for something else: babies! “Apron Strings” tells of a woman besotted with the idea of motherhood and domesticity, singing to her as-yet-unborn child, “You’d be happy wrapped in my apron strings.” Film-maker John Hughes used the yearning song to sappy cinematic effect in his mostly ignored pregnancy comedy
She’s Having a Baby
, but don’t let that dissuade you. It’s a really lovely song and a reminder that even club divas can hear the beat of the biological clock.

“To Daddy”
by Dolly Parton
(album:
The Essential Dolly Parton
, 1995)

Dolly Parton spins a tale of the perfect, long-suffering, poor country mama, who silently accepts deprivation and marital neglect: “Mama never wanted any more than what she had / and if she did, she never did say so to Daddy,” Dolly sang. But if you think this is just another one of those of those “stand by your man” sort of ditties that makes modern women gnash their teeth, just you wait. At the end of
the song, with the kids all grown up, Mama up and disappears, off to find the love she didn’t get at home. Passive-aggressive on her part? Possibly. On the other hand, Daddy’s a real jerk who should have given up some cards and flowers. So there you have it. In addition to Dolly’s original version, there’s a fine cover by Emmylou Harris on the recent Parton tribute album,
Just Because I’m a Woman.

“Dear Mama”
by Tupac Shakur
(album:
Me Against the World
, 1995)

Your average gangsta rappers may not come off as the sentimental types, that’s fo’ shizzle, but get ‘em talking about their sainted mamas and they may start blubbering like 10-year-old boys. The disturbingly posthumously prolific Tupac Shakur is no exception. “Dear Mama” finds him representing for his mother, who raised him right even though he was a bad kid. It’s a sweet, yet tough, tribute to all his mama did for him: “Cause through the drama / I can always depend on my mama / And when it seems that I’m hopeless / You say the words that can get me back in focus.” Warm and sincere, Tupac’s thanks to his mama could make anyone shed a tear or two.

“Mama, Come Home”
by Ella Fitzgerald
(album:
The War Years
, 1994)

Whipsaw yourself back to the 1940s for this Ella Fitzgerald gem in which a little girl begs her mom to come home from jitterbugging at the local juke joint: “Papa’s been mending the holes in his socks / While you stick nickels in the jitterbug box!” Ella exclaims. They’ve even eaten all the crackers and cheese. But then Ella adds this note—seeing as dad likes to jitterbug too, mama should just drag
the jukebox home with her. They’ll all still be hungry and have holes in their socks, but at least they’d be dancing as a family. And isn’t togetherness what family is all about?

“Mama Liked the Roses”
by Elvis Presley (album:
From Nashville To Memphis: The Essential 60’s Masters I
, 1993)

Elvis Presley was the biggest mama’s boy in the entire known universe, and it’s a good thing too. If he hadn’t have stopped off at Sun Records to record a song for his mama as a gift, thence to be discovered, he might still be a trucker today and then all those Elvis imitators would have to have found something else to do with their lives. Hmmm. Anyway, you can see how Elvis would do this song, which talks about the roses Mama used to grow and how now they use those same roses to decorate Mama’s grave. It’s kind of schmaltzy—but, come on. You know Elvis’s mama, Gladys, would have loved it.

“Stacy’s Mom”
by Fountains of Wayne
(album:
Welcome Interstate Managers
, 2003)

The song’s main character is asking teen pal Stacy if he can come to her house after school. Does he have a thing for Stacy? Well, no, as the exuberantly poppy chorus explains: “Stacy’s mom has got it going on!” Yeah, way to make
Stacy
feel special there, pal. It’s a deeply silly song, but it’s also insanely catchy, down to the Cars-like guitar riffs. And it pretty accurately reflects what it was like to be a deliriously hormonal teenage boy fantasizing about a Mrs. Robinson experience from one of the local suburban divorcées. Advice to you potential Stacys out there: a good cold blast from the garden hose will get the boys back to reality.

A daughter’s answer to her mother’s prayer creates Mother’s Day. Trouble is, the success of the holiday made her want to quash it.

T
he American Mother’s Day had its origins after the Civil War, when Ann Maria Jarvis worked hard with other mothers to start Mother’s Friendship Day in an effort to bring together a community divided by the Civil War. Inspired by her mother’s work and words, Anna Jarvis lobbied for Mother’s Day to become a national holiday.

The daughter of a minister, Ann Maria (1832–1905) gave birth to twelve children, but, sadly, only four survived to adulthood. She lived in West Virginia and was very active in her church. There she formed the Mother’s Day Work Clubs, where local moms could raise money for the poor.

In 1861, Ann Maria and the Mother’s Day Work Clubs faced a terrible challenge. When the Civil War began, the inhabitants of West Virginia were deeply divided. Some West Virginians served the Confederacy while others stayed true to the Union. Determined that the political division wouldn’t end the Mother’s Day Work Clubs, Ann Maria and the other mothers declared themselves neutral, serving both Rebels and Yankees. Blue and Gray mothers worked together to nurse, clothe, and feed all the sick solders.

When the war was over, Ann Maria set out to heal the civil wounds by initiating a Mother’s Friendship Day in the summer of 1865 for all the mothers and their families living in Taylor County, West Virginia. The occasion marked the reunion between Blue and Gray, and the event was an amazing success, as humble mothers and housewives were able to bring once-bitter enemies together. For several years after, Mother’s Friendship Day was an annual celebration. Ann Maria’s unexpected success inspired Julia Ward Howe and then her own daughter, Anna, to propose special mother’s days of their own.

It started innocently enough. Ann Maria’s daughter, Anna Jarvis (1864–1948) centered much of her life on the church where Ann Maria taught. The legend goes that Ann Maria gave a stirring talk on the mothers of the Bible and concluded with a prayer that someone would establish a day to commemorate mothers and their service to humanity. Twelve-year-old Anna committed that prayer to memory and silently vowed to fulfill it.