Uncovering His SECRET (19 page)

“I thought you would
leave before ever doing that.”

“I know, but right
now you’re more important. So ask or say whatever’s on your
mind.”

“You’re an
asshole.”

“That’s not news.”

“How could you tell
her you love her and then leave?”

“I didn’t plan on
telling her how I felt. Ever. But when I saw her that day, I had to
tell her. I needed her to know how much she means to me. How
important she is. I think any woman would need to hear that from a
guy they like,” he says, giving me a pointed look.

“She doesn’t ‘like’
you, she loves you right back, and you know it.”

He looks to the
ceiling, like it contains all the answers to life. “Yeah, I know.
And if I was really the asshole all you girls think I am, I would’ve
stayed and taken advantage of that. I would’ve slept in her bed
every night and taken everything she could give me. Then, when she
was truly happy, I would’ve shown her who I really am, and
destroyed her.”

“Bullshit. You are an
honorable man, Aiden Ford.”

“The hell I am.”

“You came here for
me.”

“I’d help any of
you, any time. That doesn’t make me honorable.”

“Um, yeah it does.
And we both know if it had been Ellie up there, no one in that square
would be alive right now.”

“See, you’re
finally getting it. You’re seeing my true nature. I
like
to kill, Teeg. It wasn’t just a job for me in the military. I liked
what I was doing.”

“I haven’t heard of
you killing anyone since you’ve been working with us. You’ve hurt
people, sure. But not killing.”

“I’ve been able to
control myself for the last few years, but I was going to kill the
man bidding on Ellie in the auction last month. I was already
planning the different ways I could do it in my head, just in case.”

“Again, that was to
protect her. Thinking of it, and doing it, are two different things.”

“I can’t take that
chance. I wouldn’t survive it if Ellie looked at me like the
monster that I am.”

“She never would.”

“My urges are getting
stronger, Tegan. I’m going to kill soon.”

“I know you, Aiden.
You wouldn’t kill an innocent person just because you feel like
it.”

At least I hope he
wouldn’t. This conversation is scaring me a little, but being the
master that I am at faking it, I don’t show even an ounce of that
fear.

“I never killed
anyone who was innocent. I was a vigilante when I was younger. I went
after people and
organizations
that were hurting and exploiting other people.”

“Which is pretty much
what we do in the Society.”

“You have rules and
only kill when necessary. I killed first.”

It’s time for me to
tell him the truth. “Look at me.” I wait while he does. “Nothing
you can say to me now, or do in the future, will ever make me think
less of you. And you’re just like a brother to me. Ellie loves you
at least a thousand times more than I do. She will do whatever she
can to help you, but in the end, she’ll accept you for who you are.
She already has. Give her a chance to prove it to her.”

“She’ll accept that
I’m a stone cold killer? Yeah, right.”

“Faith killed for
justice. And between you and me, I’m pretty sure she enjoyed it on
occasion.”

“You’re not going
to change my mind, but thank you for trying. I hope you’ll keep
this conversation between us because we both know Ellie will come
after me if she knows why I left.”

“For now, I will. I’m
giving you time to come to your senses.”

“Don’t hold your
breath.”

“Am I interrupting
something,” Caleb asks as he walks into the room.

“Nope. We were just
finished. You must be Caleb,” Aiden says holding out his hand.

Caleb takes it with a
smile. “And you’re Aiden. Thank you for protecting Tegan and
staying with her until I could get here.”

“You don’t need to
thank me.” He walks over to kiss me on the forehead. “It looks
like your interrogation is over, Boots. I’ll be back to check on
you tomorrow.”

“Go to her.”

“Good luck with this
one, man. She’s in rare form tonight,” he says with a chuckle as
he walks out of my room.

Then it’s just me and
Caleb. I want to pull him to me, and let him hold me, but I don’t
think I can even show my weakness to him. I opt for humor instead.

“What did you bring
me, Cowboy? Booze, burgers, condoms?”

* * *

Caleb

Tegan’s joking with
me to keep her mask, her shield, in place. What she doesn’t realize
is that I’m here to shatter that mask. I have to, because she’s
hurting so much, and I need her to let it out, and let me finally be
there to pick her up when she falls.

“None of the above,
I’m afraid. I brought some things to clean you up with.”

“I’m fine.”

“Ha. That’s the
first thing a woman says when she’s really not.”

“Seriously, Cal. Why
don’t you just come over here and kiss me for a few hours.”

“After we’re done
with the shower, I’d be happy to take you up on that offer.”

“Soap and water won’t
get rid of Sharpie.”

“Which is why Owen
told me exactly what to get. Well, actually he gave me three
choices.” I start pulling bottles out of my bag, and placing them
on her tray table. “Baby oil, which he tells me can be fun for
getting paint off, too. So we’ll call this one ‘sexy.’ Then we
have rubbing alcohol, which is, well ‘not sexy.’ Door number
three holds hand sanitizer. It’s not sexy, but it’s not
not
sexy
so let’s just call it ‘neutral.’”

“I-I don’t want to
feel sexy right now.”

She’s opening up
already. This is a good sign. “Bye bye, ‘sexy’ then,” I tell
her as I throw the oil back in the bag.

“Rubbing alcohol
smells too strong to be used for an extended period of time.”

I toss the alcohol in
the bag, and point to the hand sanitizer. “Neutral for the win.”

“I guess so,” she
tells me.

I pull my wallet and
phone out of my jeans and put them on the table. Next, I sit down to
remove my shoes and socks. “I would take off my shirt and jeans,
but I don’t want to give the nurses a heart attack if they walk in
on us and see what a fine specimen of man I am. I know it’s a
hospital, and they could probably be saved, but still.”

“They’ve seen Aiden
shirtless already, so I think you’re safe.”

“Are you suggesting
he looks better with his shirt off than I do?” I ask, with one
eyebrow quirked.

“No. I would n
ever
suggest that.”

“You are such a
brat.”

“Really? Because no
one wrote that word on me,” she says, sliding further under the
blanket on her bed.

“You’re not those
words,” I tell her as I walk over and sit on the bed next to her.
“I know you know that because you told me that yourself when I was
being an ass. Let’s go get them off of you.”

I pull at the blanket,
but she holds on tight from beneath it. “I don’t want you to see
me like this.”

“The Amazing Aiden
saw you up close and personal.”

“Yeah, but I’ve
never tried to impress him.”

“You impressed me
when we were ten years old, and I’ve been under your spell ever
since.”

“We both know that’s
not true.”

“Straight for the
jugular, huh?”

“It’s a gift.”

It’s also another
part of her shield. “Come on, let’s get to the shower,” I say,
tugging on the blanket again.

She lets me pull it off
this time, and I force myself to look only at her face. I’ll have
to look at her when I’m cleaning her off, but she needs to know
that I only see
her
right now, and not what those little pricks wrote on her. I pull her
up until she’s sitting on the side of the bed. After handing her
the giant bottle of sanitizer and some wash cloths I brought with me,
I pick her up in my arms and carry her to the small bathroom.

The shower is the type
you can walk right into. I’ll turn on the water once we need it,
but for now I just lower us down to the floor, sitting crossed legged
with Tegan on my lap. She hands me the supplies and I pour some
liquid into my hand before reaching forward to rub it into her skin.
It takes a little work, but the first word starts to disappear as I
go over it with a washcloth.

“I need you to do
something else for me, honey.”

“What,” she asks,
her face buried in my shoulder so she doesn’t have to watch what
I’m doing.

“I need you to cry.”

She rears back and
looks at me, searching my eyes for the joke. When she sees that I’m
serious, she tries to pull away from me. I’m not letting that
happen. “Let go of me, Cal.”

“No,” I say pulling
her face back up to mine. “I promise you that I will never ask you
to cry for me again. I know I’ve caused too many of your tears in
the past, and I’m going to do everything I can to not make that
happen again after today. But you need to cry now.”

“I-I don’t want
to.”

“Yes. You do. You
just don’t think you can. You’ve had to be strong for so long
because you didn’t trust anyone else enough to allow yourself to
show weakness. You love your friends, but you’re scared of being
weak in front of them. I’m letting you know that you can trust me
to be strong enough for you, to never hold it against you. Let me
hold you while you break. Break, Tegan. Not for me, but for you. Cry
for you.”

I can see the moment
when she believes my words, when she believes
me
.
It’s right before the first sob escapes from her throat. Within
seconds, she’s heaving as she cries hard. I keep one arm around her
as I continue using my other hand to remove the words from her skin.

“What am I, Cal?”
she asks me, tears flowing down her cheeks. “If not these, what
words
are
me?”

“Beautiful,
brilliant, loving, compassionate, kick-ass, sensual, loyal, and
thousands of other words that people would love to be called,” I
tell her, punctuating every word with a kiss.

“You really think
so?”

“No. I
know
so.”

Caleb

We’re lying in her
hospital bed now, after I got all the words off. Our conversation
hasn’t ended yet, though, and I’m holding her in my arms as she
continues to get out everything she’s been holding inside for too
long.

“I feel like such a
failure sometimes, Cal. Like I don’t know what I’m doing. With
Ethan, with my friends, with guys. I just feel like I can’t juggle
it all. I’m afraid Ethan’s not getting what he needs. That I’m
letting him down. I’ve never admitted that to anyone, but I can’t
help think that it’s true.”

“Aww, Teeg. Our son
is the most well-adjusted kid I’ve ever met. He’s ornery as fuck,
but he hasn’t missed out. At all. The kid has the best of the best
in almost every field supporting and helping him. You have a great
support system in place. Not all single moms are that lucky, but I
would guess that most of them feel like a failure sometimes. You’re
all just doing what you need to in order to provide for your kids,
sacrificing your own life for theirs. As for ‘guys’, well,
there’s only one of them from now on. Me.”

“I think you’re
going to be the hardest to juggle.”

“Is that a metaphor
for sex, since you know, most people juggle balls?”

“Jack-ass,” she
says, slapping my arm. “I just mean that I’m going to want to be
with you all the time.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh.”

“If you’re looking
for me to complain, that’s not going to happen.”

“So I can come down
to your lab and get on my knees to suck you off while you’re
working on your formulas?”

“If you want me to
blow up the building when I mix something wrong, sure.”

“See? It’s going to
be a problem.”

“No sexy times while
working, but I can take breaks. Lots and lots of breaks.”

“I don’t want to
quit my job.”

“Good thing you have
a built in babysitter now. I’m not gonna lie, Teeg. I’ll miss you
like crazy and sleep like shit because I’ll worry about you while
you’re gone, but I’ll deal.”

“I’ll make it up to
you when I come home.”

“Just knowing I get
to be there with you, and Ethan, is more than worth the times we have
to be apart.”

“When the guys had
me, I thought about a bunch of bad things for a while, but then I
thought of good things. The doctor here said I was using them to
cope. He wanted me to get everything out.”

“Are you saying I
could be a doctor since I knew that’s what you needed, too?”

“No. I’m saying
that I have some hard things that I need to say to you.”

“Go ahead. Say
whatever you need to. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You hurt me so much,
Cal. I loved you, only you, for so long, and then you called me the
same words you just removed from my body. You moved on immediately
with another girl, and you did everything you could to tear me down.
All because you chose to believe something that wasn’t true.
Without asking me yourself. You said you loved me, but how is that
love?”

I take a deep breath. I
can do this, I can give her the truth. “I loved you, Tegan. Have no
doubts about that. But I let my insecurities and fear become more
important. For about six months before the…incident, I had started
having crazy feelings when we were out. Especially when we were in
Houston. I saw how the college guys were looking at you. Hell, why
wouldn’t they look at you? You were brilliant, and gorgeous. Plus
you didn’t try to bring attention to yourself like so many of the
other girls did. You wore plaid shirts, jeans, and boots to the
parties, not short skirts.”