Undefeated (Unexpected Book 5) (22 page)

The first place I stopped by was the old house we used to live in. The compound was empty. The keys, passcodes, and everything to access the property still works, they never changed them, but the house is empty. All the furniture is covered with white sheets. The music studio is empty. I called the house in Santa Barbara and the phone is no longer in service. It took several phone calls to finally find a way to get in touch with them. From the looks of it, my foster parents have made a lot of changes in their lives. Gabe’s production company moved to Seattle and is headed by MJ Decker. Chris opened a counseling practice, which is close to his old record company, the latter run by JC Decker.

The counseling office is the one that gave me access to Chris without questioning my motives. Even better, the lady over the phone promised to give me an appointment with Dr. Decker today, even though they’re closed for the holidays. I hate that I lied to her by saying I was already an established patient. The beauty of calling centers is that they don’t have a database with current clients. When I park in the underground garage of his office, I lean my head on the wheel. This is a mistake. Yes, vindicating myself sounded great after receiving the news that my father died. Live every day as if it was the last, leave this life with zero regrets.

I run a hand through my hair, wondering if I am doing the right thing. Yes, this is what I need to redeem myself. I climb out of the truck, making my way to the elevator. In five minutes, I’ll see my foster father for the first time in years. The last time he only said two sentences, “You disappointed me, Porter. We believed in you.” I had disappointed him and Gabe and betrayed the entire family. Show them that you’ve changed, I repeat to myself stepping out of the elevator. Once I reach the offices, I knock on the door, but no one answers. Fuck. I lean against the wall, afraid that he won’t come after seeing my name. The elevator doors ding, relaxing my heart and giving me hope until I spot a tall woman stepping out of it.

Our gazes meet for only a few seconds; her violet eyes divert their attention to the phone she pulls out of her purse. For a couple of breaths she stares at it, biting her lip and then she addresses me. “Mr. Kendrick?”

Fuck, why is she here and where’s Chris?

She pulls out a set of keys, opens the door and when she looks at me I nod waiting for her to tell me that Chris is on his way. Instead, she says something completely different. “Let me pull your file from the drawer and we can go into my office.”

My back straightens and I can’t control my voice. “We? I’m here to see Dr. Decker, the woman over the phone said that my consult will be with Dr. Decker.” I repeat this a couple of times, sounding stupid, but she has to understand that I have to see Chris.

“I’m Thea Bradley-Decker,” she stops me. “The other Dr. Decker.”

What the fuck? Bradley-Decker . . . that’s a fucked up name. This can’t be happening, suddenly my hands press against my head. “No, no, no. I need Chris, not you. Chris Decker. Where is he?”

“My father-in-law is on vacation,” she says matter-of-factly. Father-in-law? Who is she married to? It doesn’t matter, what matter is that he’s not here. No, this is fucked up, they’re going to push me away, I just know it. “If you want an appointment with him, you’ll have to call again next year.”

Shit, of course he’s on vacation. Christmas and all that shit are a family thing. Sacred shit that he never misses. Two weeks. Two fucking weeks that I’ll have to wait for him. Handing her a card with my information, I ask her to tell both Gabe and Chris that I’m looking for them.

Fucking luck, I’ll head back home hoping they call.

I
jump out of my skin the moment I open the door to my bedroom and turn on the light.

Fuck.
Fuck.

Surprise, surprise, it’s Mason Bradley. How the hell did he manage to arrive before me? I stumble back.

“Kendrick.” He rises from the bed; with three strides, he’s towering over me. His penetrating gray eyes are holding my gaze.

My arms and legs become a couple of noodles. Six years ago, a similar situation happened. I came home and three armed men were waiting for me. They knocked me down and I ended up in another country almost dead. Rubbing my face, I take a step back. How the hell did he know where to find me? Did Molly let him in?

My gut churns when I find the determination in his eyes. He’s not going to let me do this. Almost six years ago, he warned me to stay away from the Deckers. He’d be easy to ignore, except he’s a force not to be taken lightly. He’s capable of killing a man without a weapon and making anyone disappear. Scary son of a bitch.

“Mason—”

“Off limits,” Mason says. Those gray eyes flash hatred. “We made a fucking deal, Kendrick. Hearing that my little sister shared the same space with you—alone—breaks our agreement.”

“Little sister?” I gulp, trying to find a way to calm him. Six years and the fucker hasn’t changed. “You have it wrong. I haven’t been in contact with anyone. Unless you count that doctor. Yeah, I guess she said she’s Chris’s daughter-in-law.”

“Yes, Thea is my baby sister.” He peels his teeth.

Baby sister? Wasn’t he an only child? None of that matters. My business is to find some form of forgiveness from my foster parents. The biggest obstacle is right in front of me. Mason Bradley. This is why I tried to get in touch with Chris or Gabe first. The first is the level headed of the family, but Gabe has a soft side to him. I could’ve talked to either or both and kept everyone away. But no. I had to stumble upon Mason’s sister.

Taking another step backward, and knowing I have nothing left to lose, I speak, “My father died. Alone. He left me a small amount of money to start a new life, be a different man. I wanted to start by showing the only family that I’ve ever had that I’m sorry for what I did. That I’ve changed.”

I skip Mac and the kids. He doesn’t need to know about them. His eyes remain fixed on mine, his jaw tensed and his torso pushed forward as if ready to strike.

“And then what?” His clenched hands become a couple of fists.

“I come back to where I live,” I answer. “You have parents, a family, and all that shit. What would you do if you made a mistake and you had to stay away from them?” I take a deep breath. “Forever. Wouldn’t you at least try to find a way to apologize? Tell them that you love them and you’re sorry.”

“Kendrick, you can’t compare me with you,” he says. “Are you aware of what you did?”

“Yes, I’m fucking aware of my behavior,” I answer back, frustrated, feeling like a child. But also understanding that I’m bonded by a promise I made to him. One I made after he saved my life. “My addictions ruled my entire life.” I touch my temple. “Because of the need I mistreated the woman I loved, put her and my family in danger. I killed my son.” Dropping my head, I look at the ink with his initials. “This time I’m not asking for a second chance, only forgiveness.”

“You didn’t kill him. The way you handled AJ’s pregnancy and how you behaved when she told you about it was fucked up. All your actions are unforgivable, but you didn’t kill him.” His voice softens as my eyes meet his. “James didn’t make it for different reasons. With or without you around, the miscarriage would’ve happened. Stop carrying the guilt.”

I narrow my gaze, not understanding why he’s telling me this. “Why are you saying that?”

“Because you didn’t kill him. Ainse and I carried some of that blame. The two of us believed that if we had done things differently, maybe our kid would be here.” His shoulders slump slightly, his eyes closing for a few minutes.

I had forgotten about it. Mason considers James his son. He made it clear years ago.
“I forbid you to ever bring up James’ memory, Kendrick.” He grabbed the flaps of my leather jacket, pulling me close to him. “I have that fucking link. Ainse called me when she found out about the pregnancy and feared the outcome, including how the jerk she lived with would react to his own child. Those days you ignored her while you were fucking other women, I talked to her daily and reassured her that she’d be fine—a kickass mom. You disappeared for weeks. It was me who was there when she met the little pea.” Frozen, I listened as he screamed while pushing me against the wall. “His heartbeat will forever be recorded here. A beat you’ll never know. Who do you think was with her after she lost him? Me, fucker.” Sliding one open hand up on my throat, pinching it, pressing hard while closing my air duct. “Never speak of him again. Our pea is off limits, too.”

He said more shit, something about leaving me mute if I ever got close to her or spoke of him. Mason took care of AJ when she lost the baby, while I was getting high and fucking other women.

His eyes open, studying me as he speaks, “My wife, my children, my sister, my father, and my extended family are precious to me, Porter.” My lungs deflate with the mention of children. They have kids—more than one. I’m happy that she has a family, but the memory of what I lost mingles with what I desire and will never have. “The Decker family is a big unit. Each one of us has a role. Mine is to protect them. After the shit you pulled, I can’t let you get close to them.”

“People can change, Mason. I did,” I defend myself, taking a step forward as I clear my throat. “If it hadn’t been because of you, I’d be dead somewhere in Juarez. The ordeal woke me up. Realizing that the love of my life was in love with someone else crushed me, but every day I wake up with the conviction of being better for our son and for myself.” I shrug, as Mac’s bright smile comes to mind. Harp, Finn. “I’m a recovering alcoholic and addict. It means that every morning I have to fight my demons. Like Chris and many others. All I ask is to be able to talk to my foster parents. My goal is to make a new life, not sure where or how, but the first step is finding peace with them.”

He takes a deep breath, looking at the ceiling. “Let me think about it.” He shakes his head. “I don’t trust you. You can say all you want, but to get to them, you’ll have to convince me first.”

“I’ll talk to them while you’re in the same room,” I blurt out without giving it a thought.

“Chris and Gabe are out of town.”

I bob my head, understanding. “Albany? You aren’t going?”

“No. They’ll be home before Christmas. A lot has changed since you’ve been gone.” He angles his face, crossing his arms and shaking his head. “It’s time for me to leave. I’ll talk to them, but for now, stay away.”

He heads out of the room and I follow behind him.

“Porter, is that you?” I hear Molly’s voice the moment he wiggles the handle of the front door. “With company. The nice kind of company.” She scrunches her hair with both hands as she sways her round hips closing in on us. “Molly Thomas.”

“Nice meeting you, ma’am,” he answers, shaking her hand. “We’ll be in touch.”

He disappears without a word. Impressive.

“Mac is leaving soon for Pollard Farms.” I frown, not understanding what she means. “That’s where families go to cut their Christmas tree. Her boss gave her a coupon for a small tree. The kids are excited and hoping you’d join.”

It’s been so long since I celebrated Christmas. I only remember doing it when I live with the Decker family. We had plenty of evergreens in the compound and every year we decorated one. Cutting them wasn’t an option, as they didn’t like to chop them down. Those traditions that I followed for a few years meant so much. Checking that I have everything to head out again, I kiss Molly’s cheek and leave.