Under Alaskan Skies (12 page)

He opened his eyes and followed her to the rock where they picked up their clothes and carried them under their arms down the trail. He tried to act normal, but it was hard when his head was about ten feet
above his body. He had this strange bird’s-eye view of her and of himself walking along, stark naked. It was so improbable he was sure he must be dreaming.

She never glanced back at him. He didn’t know why. Maybe she was shy or scared or embarrassed. She didn’t act that way. She walked like a model with a book balanced on her head, straight and steady and as unselfconscious as if she did this every day. He tried not to stare at her. He tried to act as if he’d seen many naked bodies before. And he had. But that had nothing to do with her. Nothing to do with how he felt today. His whole body felt as if it had been wired and somebody had thrown the switch.

He walked behind her, just as he’d pictured, and he made conversation about the flora and fauna in a deceptively calm voice as he stared at her from behind. They talked about the abundance of moss, the spectacular ferns that lined the banks and the lichens underfoot. And all the time he wanted her more than ever. But he wondered if there would be a right time and a right place. He wondered if she’d just said later because she didn’t want to say no. Maybe it would never happen. Maybe she didn’t want it to happen. Maybe it shouldn’t happen. For both their sakes.

When they got to the launch, she went inside the cabin and tossed him a pair of overalls, a shirt, some socks and rubber boots from the window. He dressed on the sandy spit of land. A few minutes later she came out of the cabin, dressed as he was in a similar outfit. She still didn’t look at him. Her cheeks were pink. Maybe she’d just realized what she’d done, what
they’d
just done. More important, what they’d
almost
done. She looked off into the distance and motioned him aboard.

Before she started the motor, he put his hand on hers against the leather bench. He couldn’t let the moment pass without saying something. Something to let her know how much it had meant to him. “That was incredible,” he said. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

She turned her head slowly and finally met his gaze, but just for a moment. She didn’t ask the questions that hung in the air between them. What was incredible? Was it you? Was it me? Was it us together? He would have had to say, yes, yes, yes. He lifted his hand and tucked a strand of wet hair behind her ear. Her mouth curved slightly at one corner as if to acknowledge the intimate gesture, but she didn’t say anything. She jammed the key in the ignition and they started back to town, toward civilization.

When they reached the dock in Mystic, a young girl was waiting for them. It was Allison who said her little brother had sprained his ankle playing basketball in the school gym and would the doctor come and look at it. “I heard you guys were out on the water. I was waiting here for you. Could you come too, Carrie?” she asked.

Carrie agreed, and after they’d moored her boat, they walked to the school together, the three of them. Matt asked Allison if she’d heard how Donny was.

“I was over there a little while ago. He looks better. His parents don’t look so worried, either.”

“I’ll drop in on him as soon as I see your brother,” Matt said. “I wish I had my bag with me. There’s
probably an Ace bandage in there. We’ll need ice for his ankle.”

“Oh, we’ve got ice,” Allison said with a smile. “Plenty of ice.”

The high school was a collection of prefabricated buildings, the largest had been outfitted with a polished wood floor and turned into a multipurpose room with basketball hoops at each end and bleachers along one side.

Carrie was surprised to find it was dark inside. She stood in the doorway with Matt and Allison behind her. Suddenly the lights went on and the room was full of people holding balloons, smiling and yelling, “Happy Birthday.”

Her knees wobbled, her face turned scarlet. She’d succeeded in putting her birthday out of her mind. It wasn’t hard to do, given the emergency with Donny and the arrival of Matt. Carrie didn’t like being the center of attention. She didn’t like being caught in the spotlight. She glanced down at her baggy coveralls that smelled of diesel oil. If she had to have a surprise birthday party, couldn’t someone at least have leaked the news to her? Couldn’t she at least be wearing something decent? Apparently not. Here she was with the whole town looking at her and she looked awful, more like a drowned rat or a wet dog than the guest of honor at her own party.

She told herself not to be ridiculous. They’d seen her in much worse condition than that over the years. If she were being honest, she would admit that it was Matt she didn’t want to see her in this outfit and this condition. She blushed even deeper knowing he’d just seen her with no clothes at all, au natural, wet hair….

Clothes or no clothes, she was relieved to have an excuse to avoid looking at him and talking to him for a while. Things had gotten so intense out there on the island. She should have known better than to take him to a hot spring. What did she think was going to happen? Did she think they’d get into the water completely dressed? Did she think there would be a couple of spare swimming suits in the boat?

Here in the multipurpose room, she had a duty to hug or be hugged by each and every member of the community and to be wished a happy birthday and to assure them that she really, really was surprised. She had to drink some punch, eat some birthday cake and wear a silly birthday hat.

“So you and the doc went out sight-seeing?” Russ, one of her father’s old friends, asked after he’d wished her a happy birthday.

“Uh, yes. He’s only here for a short time so I took him out to see the Russian church.”

“Nice-looking young fella,” Russ observed, watching Matt across the room through narrowed eyes. “How old are you today, Carrie, nearly thirty?”

“You hit it, Russ,” Carrie said. “Exactly thirty.”

“You know your dad always hoped you’d get married one day,” he said. “Just in case he didn’t mention it. Even asked me if I’d perform the ceremony since I’m the only one in town who’s got the certificate from the state.”

Carrie nodded. What could she say? I appreciate the thought, but if my dad wanted me to get married so badly, then he shouldn’t have brought me up to live in a small town in the bush with two or three eligible men, and she used the term
eligible
loosely.

“This doc a single man?” he asked.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Carrie said, squeezing his arm. “No matchmaking allowed. I’m way too busy to think about getting married. What kind of husband would let me fly all over the state? I’ve noticed that most men want a wife who stays around, cooks and cleans, instead of running her own business.”

“No one said you have to run your own business. You could sell it, you know.”

“Sell the business?” She blinked. “Russ, you know how much it meant to my dad.”

“’Course I do,” he said. “It was his whole life. That doesn’t mean it has to be yours.”

“But it is.” Carrie was shocked to hear the words come out of her father’s friend’s mouth. What on earth was he getting at? Wouldn’t her father be spinning in his grave if he’d heard this conversation?

“Don’t pay any attention to me,” he said with a smile. “I just can’t resist putting my two cents in. Doesn’t mean I know anything. Just hate to see a pretty girl like you going to waste.”

She stiffened.

“I like to think I’m accomplishing something,” she said. “Not going to waste.”

“Oh, sure you are,” he said. “Whether you get married or not, you can keep working, you know. Lots of women do. There’s got to be some men who aren’t looking for a housekeeper. Nope, they’d be impressed at a woman who could run a business on her own. But that’s just my opinion. The trick is to find those men. If you want one, that is. Maybe you don’t. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut,” he said
with a grin. He patted her on the shoulder and drifted off to talk to someone else.

Carrie stood alone for a moment in the middle of the crowd. The buzz of conversation continued around her. Helium balloons had floated to the ceiling. There was punch spilled on the floor and a dozen or so pieces of cake on small paper plates remained on a folding table next to the wall.

What was going on? She’d had some strange days in her life, but this was right up there with the weirdest. It was her birthday for starters. She’d forgotten about it, or had she just wanted to forget it? Turning thirty was a time to look back and ahead. Neither of which she was interested in doing. She found herself more interested in living in the moment.

Then there was the fact that she’d almost made love to a stranger today. She hadn’t decided if she was sorry about it or not. Sorry she hadn’t done it, or sorry she’d let things go so far. Next Russ suggested she should get married. He even said she didn’t have to keep the business. Her father’s business! All this time she thought she was indispensable up here. Now she found out there was one person who thought she ought to leave. Maybe there were others. That hurt. Of course, Russ never said she should marry an outsider exactly. Maybe he meant she ought to marry Stan. He wouldn’t mind if she kept the business and kept flying. That way she could stay here, here where she belonged.

She looked around the room and counted exactly three bachelors in the right age group. One was Stan. One was Matt and one was George, who’d been hired on contract to build a sewage system. He was staying
with the Pattersons. Her gaze shifted back to Matt. He was talking to Donny’s father. They shook hands and the next thing she knew Matt was talking to Maggie. She felt a flash of jealousy so strong it felt like a dagger through her heart.

She looked away, and Allison came up to her and handed her a piece of cake.

“Thanks, Allison, I’ve already had one.” Just the sight of the gooey chocolate frosting turned her stomach. She was not herself today. Far from it. She was not thinking straight. She felt like a jealous shrew.

“Were you surprised, Carrie?” the girl asked eagerly.

“I really was. I can’t believe you pulled this off. This is the best surprise party I’ve ever had.” She didn’t mention it was the only surprise party she’d ever had, or that she wished she’d known about it in advance so she could have changed her clothes and combed her hair at least. “How did you do it?”

“Oh, it wasn’t me. It was a whole bunch of people. I was just supposed to get you here. They were so afraid you wouldn’t get back in time. But you did. Where’d you go, anyway, in that rain?”

“Just out to the Russian church.” She decided not to mention the hot springs.

“How’d the doctor like it?” she asked.

“He thought it was great,” Carrie said. “Most people don’t know about the Russians being in Alaska.”

“He’s sure cute. That’s what we think, the other girls and me. How old is he, anyway?” she asked.

“I’m not sure. Thirty-something, I think.”

“Oh, that old,” she said with a frown. “How old are you, Carrie?”

Carrie smiled. It was nice she didn’t yet know you weren’t supposed to ask adults how old they were.

“Thirty.”

“Do you think he’s cute?” she asked.

“Yes, I do,” Carrie said, praying she wouldn’t blush like a teenager and give anything away. “I’m even more impressed that he’s such a good doctor and that he’d come all this way to help us out,” she said primly. She couldn’t have the teenagers speculating about her and Matt, too. If this continued the whole town would be talking about her and Matt long after he’d left. The arrival of a stranger was always good for gossip, but a stranger who looked like Matt and performed miracles would be fodder for the locals for months if not years. It was going to be hard enough to forget him, without everyone else reminding her.

“Too bad he can’t stay. Sure would be nice to have a doctor in town. I mean, what if Jerry really had sprained his ankle?”

“I guess we could have handled that. But when anything serious happens, we have to get them out of here if we can or bring someone in.”

“Did he know it was your birthday?” Allison said.

“Honestly, I’d forgotten myself. If you all hadn’t given me this party…”

“Who would have made you a cake?” Allison asked.

“I guess I would have had to make myself one,” Carrie said. A sudden, long-forgotten memory came rushing back of her mother making her a white cake with chocolate frosting, complaining about not finding birthday candles at the little local store. In a way it summed up her mother’s experience in the bush.
Trying to cope, complaining, wanting things to be the way they were in California and always dealing with frustration.

Allison shook her head at the preposterous idea of making one’s own birthday cake and went off to talk to her friends. Carrie told herself that she didn’t care in the least that Matt was still talking to Maggie. She reminded herself he didn’t know that many other people in town. After all, who did she expect him to talk to? It was a further sign of the friendliness of her village. She looked around and joined a small circle of old-timers who were reminiscing about the good-old days.

“There was the time your dad flew off to Sitka to buy pizzas for the whole basketball team when they won the district championship. What a guy.”

Carrie smiled. Her father had left a legacy of good deeds and kindness behind him. She only hoped she could do the same.

When Matt came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder, her knees buckled. She knew immediately who it was. She could smell the scent of rainwater and the wind and feel the heat from his body. His breath was warm on the back of her neck. She sucked in a sharp breath.

“I’m going to look in on Donny,” he said.

“I’ll come with you,” she said.

“You can’t leave your own party,” he said. “Besides Maggie has invited me to see her collection of native jewelry.”

“Oh.” Inside the overheated gym, filled with at least fifty-something warm bodies, something inside
her turned cold. “Fine. I’ll see you later.” What else could she say?

“I’ll catch a ride back to your house,” he said, and then he was gone. So was Maggie. She watched as they disappeared through the door with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. What had she told Maggie?
I’m only interested in him as a doctor, nothing else
. She might as well have handed him to Maggie on a platter.