Under His Guard (15 page)

He squeezed me so tight I saw stars.

“That's it. Ride me, angel,” I husked in his ear.

He gave a high gasp, arching his back, driving me even deeper.

I ran my hands down that slender, sculpted body and around to his backside, grasping his gorgeous ass. “Fuck, Leon.”

I rolled up so our chests heaved against each other. Licking and biting and sucking Leon's neck, I skimmed my hands down his perfect chest to his nice hard cock.

When I took him in hand, Leon breathed against me. “Don' lemme go. Don' lemme go.”

I took over his rhythm, mating our bodies together. My heart stuttered and my voice broke. “Jesus Christ, baby. You get inside me like no one else. Never letting you go, never.”

His eyes opened wide. They shined with unshed tears. He whimpered and tensed. “Darke!”

I tightened my arms around him. Rocking my cock up and down, in and out, I threw my head back. His tears hit my cheek the same time his come jetted over my stomach. As his channel squeezed around my cock, I brought him down on me one last time. An orgasm so strong zipped down my back and then straight out my shaft. It shredded my senses, toppling me off a cliff I no longer wanted to hold on to.

This wasn't just undeniably hot sex. It was life-affirming lovemaking. The comedown was slow, filled with murmurs and kisses. On unsteady legs, I lifted Leon in my arms. I swept the blankets aside to lay him down. I crawled in beside him and gathered him to me.

I kept touching him, talking gently, sharing a litany of lovers' whispers. “You are so good, angel.”

I was so drugged on the feel of him, I didn't notice at first when he removed his hands from my chest to pull them to his sides. With my eyes closed, I didn't see the stiffness of his jaw or the hot temper in his gaze.

A harsh huff of breath dragged me from the warm haze enveloping me. I opened my eyes to find him watching me with resurgent anger.

“Angel?”

“Don' call me dat anymore, goddammit! I know what you did to me, how you tried to get rid of me.” Jumping from the bed, he shot a finger in my direction. “I remember every'ting.”

L
eon stood in front of me, naked and enraged.

I pulled some pants on quickly and approached him cautiously. “What did you say?”

He spit some virulent-sounding Cajun curse at me before stomping over to yank on a pair of loose trousers. His back was ramrod straight, his gaze furious and fiery bright. His hands gripped the chair behind him until his biceps strained.

“I said I remember.” He spoke low and forceful.

“What? How is that possible?”

“Yeah, how is dat possible? Considerin' you've been trying to keep me in the dark.” He snorted. “Darke, how fittin' is dat?”

I sat on the edge of the bed, gripping my knees so he wouldn't see my hands shaking.

“It was the explosion. Musta knocked some sense back into me.” He glanced away from me, his shoulders drooping.

“So…you remember…?”

His voice emerged in a stark whisper. “The night of Cannon and Nate's handfasting. When you laughed at somethin' I told you and you let me kiss you on the cheek before you said good night.”

His face turned pink. Mine heated as well, remembering that first, innocent flirtation and how good it felt. “I'm glad, baby. It's one of my favorite memories.”

Flashing eyes flicked to mine. “Too bad the memories didn't stop there, huh? Is dat what you wished for? Dat I wouldn't know about every'ting that happened afterward?”

I shot up and strode over to him. “No. I wish you'd never been abducted. I wish I'd been there to kill Taft or make him take me instead, infect me instead!” I forced him to look at me. “How can you even ask me that?”

Both his hands swinging up to my chest, Leon pushed me away. “Because you've been hidin' shit from me! You've been manipulating me. An empath? How the hell do you think dat makes me feel, Darke? You
feel
every'ting from me, but you never told me a goddamn thing!”

“We had a bad few months, Leon. I thought maybe we could begin again instead of going back there.” The excuse sounded pathetic even to me.

“A bad few months? Dat's what you call it?” He wiped angry tears away and glared at his wet fingertips, betrayed by emotions he couldn't control.

The sight of him crying made my voice crack. “We were getting to something good together here.”

“You don' just get to pick and choose! We don' get a fresh start.” He slumped on the bed. “We probably don' get no start at all.”

I hunkered in front of him. “That's not true. We have one now.”

“Just so I can die?” He reached for my face but stopped before making contact. “Every'ting from dat first night at the celebration, all the times we kissed.”

I brushed the back of his hand with my lips.

He pulled free, moving farther away. “All the times you made me believe somethin' was happenin'.
Mon Dieu
, then you'd go off an' ignore me for days, unless someone else took an interest in me. What the hell am I to you?”

“You're more than I was looking for, more than I ever wanted.”

Staring at me with hurt and disbelief, Leon held up a hand to hold me off.

“That's not what I meant. Dammit. My words always get tangled up around you.”

I clasped his face. “You're more than I ever hoped for.”

“
Mais
, not enough to make it permanent.” He rested his fingertips on my upper back.

I always welcomed Leon's touch but not there, not in this context. I jumped away from him.

As I searched for a shirt, I listened to his low, sad chuckle. “'S'what I thought.”

“It's not what you think at all.” After taking a ragged breath, I started to pull the shirt over my head to cover my back and tats, to conceal my guilt and blame.

Leon stopped me. He'd approached silently. Now he caressed me there with his lips. The sensation on the puckered scars made me shiver.

His husky voice slid into my overwhelmed senses. “You tried to get rid of me.”

“I came to Beta to get you.”

“After you made me give you these moko. I wanted so much for you to honor me the way you did them.” His fingers skated away from my skin.

I turned to find him chewing his bottom lip, a frown creasing his forehead. I dropped my shirt on the floor, and his gaze followed the soft swish of fabric, the only sound besides our jagged breathing.

“I couldn't. Not then.”

He flashed a bittersweet smile. “I remember. I remember all dat stuff you said to me, Darke. You couldn't have me,
mais
you weren't willin' to let me go. Maybe you should've. It would make dis easier.”

“Leon, stop—”

“No, you stop. You din't want me. You made me fuckin' tattoo you with the names of your lovers!”

“I shouldn't have asked you to do that.”

He tossed his head back. “Yeah, well, too late for that, ain't it? Just like every'ting else. Dat don't answer the question about what you're doin' with me now. Pity fuck? Last fling? Getting' it while it's still hot?”

“I didn't want you to remember because I thought it would be better if you forgot it all! You'd find someone better for
you
.” The idea made me choke. I'd kill any man who dared to touch him the way I had. “I thought it was for your own good.”

“So what happened? Din't wanna give up your trophy boy?”

“Trophy boy? Trust me, honey, you are not a trophy boy. If you were, you'd stop giving me so much grief all the time.”

His mouth gaped open, then snapped shut in one firm line. “Well, I do apologize for makin' your life difficult, O Great Warrior Darke.”

“I'm trying to save you, angel.”

“Save me? Save me for what,
beb
? So I can pine over you for another year with no hope of you feelin' anything for me?”

He pivoted to storm out of the room. I blocked the door before he reached it.

“You make me crazy.” He watched me, his arms folded across his chest.

“I never say the right shit around you. I always wanted you to be mine, more than anyone else. I thought I could let you go.” I beat my skull against the door. “I was wrong. The thought of you with another man makes me want to snap his arms off and feed them to wild animals.”

A slight smirk appeared on his lips. “Dat'd be the crazy talkin', then.”

“Leon,” I entreated. “I'm scared, too.”

“You never act like it.”

“I'm petrified. I can't stop thinking about you. It's not just want, nothing so simple as that. It's pure need. It's…” I thumped my hand against my heart, whispering, “It's here. You are here.”

His lips quivered. He moved next to me, where he slid down the floor. “You should say shit like dat more often.”

My laugh was short.

“Dat ain't all I remember.”

I wasn't sure I wanted to know what else was hiding inside his mind, waiting to bite me in the ass. Nevertheless, I sank down across from him. I risked reaching over to encircle his ankle with my hand. His palm rested over my hand, replacing the warmth that had been sucked from the room during our fight.

“I know what happened to me when Cutler had me grabbed.”

I scrabbled next to him and brought his chin up beneath my fingers. “What did they do to you?”

“I…Taft snatched me before I knew what the hell was happenin'. It was all planned out. Later, in the tank, Taft told me he knew who I was as soon as I appeared on the Posse scene. He had every intention of takin' me dat day in Beta.”

“That's why you are not putting yourself in harm's way again.”

“Has anybody ever told you you're
un petit peu
overbearing?”

“No one's ever told me I'm
putty poo
anything.”

He rolled his eyes. “It means
a little bit
.”

“Exactly. I'm not a little bit anything.” I kissed him briefly on the mouth, then urged, “Tell me what happened.”

Leon took a breath. “Taft was unhinged. I spent more time alone with him—when I was conscious—than anyone else.”

The very thought of Leon alone with the cracked-up fanatic who outright said he had plans to fuck Leon brought my overbearing side to the forefront, but I prodded it down for the moment.

“He talked nonstop, mostly about Sebastian. He wanted to know if I'd been with him, if he put out for everyone but him. He'd get downright vicious and then tell me he was sorry. After that, he'd threaten to sodomize my ass if I so much as spoke to Sebastian again.”

My hands tightened on Leon.

“I think he was in love. Weird, sick, twisted love.” Sliding closer to me, Leon dropped his voice. “I don't know where I was taken. I was pumped full of somethin' in the tank. Woke up in a white room on some sort of surgical bed. Tubes down my throat and hanging off my arms, and dat's when I started to scream. Tried to anyway. I met Doc Val when she came in to sedate me.”

Leon's terror squeezed around us both like a snake tightening its coils around our bodies.

“She…I don't think she did any of it willingly, Darke. Somethin' wasn't quite right. It wasn't like she was a robot, but her motions were automatic. As if she wasn't really there. Dat scared me at first. I thought they were gonna turn me into the same thing, whatever she was, whatever they'd done to her. I guess I shoulda been so lucky, huh?”

“What did she do to you?”

“Oh,
beaucoup de
shit.” He laughed low. “Blood tests, body scans, around-the-clock-monitoring, sleep studies. Then, for an extra kicker, they pumped my heart full of a drug dat made it feel like it'd jump right out of my chest and run around the room until it spluttered to a stop and died on the spot. I guess they needed to know if my body was capable of handlin' the virus.” He shrugged. “I was told I was the first test subject. If I survived the early implant and incubation, all other infectees would be modeled after me. The entire motherfuckin' downfall of the Revolution would be on my head.”

I pulled him onto my lap, wrapping my arms around him. “That's a goddamn lie. The entire motherfucking end of the war and their defeat will be because of you, your bravery, your courage…” My forehead dipped to his. “Your heart.”

“She infected me over and over again with a rapid formula of the Plague. She monitored how quickly it took effect. She kept me conscious through each trial. Val—” His voice faltered. “She took me to the edge of death over an' over again only to give me an antidote, magically fuckin' revive me, and start again several hours later. Felt like my entire body was liquefied from the inside out. At the end, I couldn't feel anything but pain. I couldn't hear, but I'm pretty sure I was screamin'.”

I'd become a boulder of rage. I could barely speak when I asked, “How many times?”

“What?” Leon resurfaced from the trauma-filled trap of his mind.

“How many times did Val infect you?” My voice scraped in my throat, sharp as saw blades.

“Five. Five times until she found the perfect formula dat infected me but didn't take root immediately…the one that's dormant, dat's in me now.” He shivered. “So, you see, I know how it's all gonna go down. I know what my death looks like, feels like. And I don' want you there at the end. What if you die, too?”

I crushed him against me, running my hands all over his body. He was so pure, so alive. I couldn't believe death was on his doorstep. I wouldn't believe it. “The only end is gonna be the Company's. I promise you that.”

He shook his head but stayed within my embrace. His words rushed out. “Taft told me too much. He
told
me he was tellin' me too much, but it didn't matter 'cause Dr. Val was gonna erase it all from my mind.” When Leon glanced at me, his eyes were wet and shiny. “Dat scared me the most. I din't wanna forget you,
cher
.”

“Oh, angel. Angel.” His words destroyed me. I curled my arms around him until he pressed deeply into my body. Desperate sobs heaved between us.

“When they told me about their plans to destroy Beta with the minibots, I lost it. I tore apart my room until nothin' was left but broken glass and shredded bedding.” He gasped. “I worried about you dying because I knew you'd come to rescue me. I
knew
you would. I couldn't warn you. They told me I wouldn't remember you even if I saw you. I'd never touch you or hold you or kiss you again, and I went crazy.”

He huddled against me until the tears ended and our rocking stopped. Leon rubbed his cheek against mine.

A few minutes later, I drew slowly away from him. “Did Taft ever make good on his threat?”

Leon flew to his feet, his emotions firing all over the place. “Is dat all you care 'bout? Someone mighta got to my ass first? Wouldn't have as much to brag about then, would ya?”

“What the fuck are you on about? I'm terrified Taft might've abused you. And for the motherfucking record, I don't talk to anyone about what goes on between you and me when we're alone. I never have.” I jumped up after him.

He regarded me with a withering sneer. “Dat's right, 'cause you don't talk to no one. Least of all me.”

“What's gotten into you?”

“You, for starters. You got in here”—he knocked his head—“and here.” Leon thumped his chest as I had earlier. “Stupid
fils de putain
.” Muttering to himself, he finally looked at me with somber eyes. “You got inside me deeper than any virus ever could,
cher
.”

“That's where I want to be.” I reached for him.

He shrugged me away. “You were married to two people, Darke.”

“Tammerick and Wilde. Yes.”

His lips pulled thin. “You loved a man and a woman at the same time.”

With a sigh of frustration, I said, “I did love them, Leon. That's got nothing to do with us.”