Underbelly (76 page)

Stuart’s face fell and he said, visibly upset, “I’m sorry.”

“
Thank you. I’m sorry too by the way. You’ve been left here for a long time without any holidays and without any way of getting in touch with any of us. Is everything all right?”

“
Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. I wish I knew what to say, James.”

“
You don’t need to say anything,” Grey said, putting a hand on his shoulder before he stepped away from him to investigate the house, which he had never entered before. He started with the basement, which was smaller than he had envisioned. He sat on the steps and pictured Germaine at the bottom, imagining the pig rolling down the steps and crushing her mother and sister. He went back upstairs and asked Stuart which was his bedroom, which led to Stuart going upstairs with him to show him around, starting with his bedroom.

Grey stood by the door as Stuart entered the master bedroom and Grey said, “I only wanted to know which was yours because I didn’t want to intrude upon your bedroom.”

“
It’s your house. I can move into one of the smaller rooms or down to the basement,” Stuart offered.

“
Don’t do that. We’ll probably stay at Laura’s,” Grey said, walking down the short corridor to get to Germaine’s bedroom, her bed clearly too short for her, a child’s bed. He looked out of her window and saw Laura and Conrad loitering by the plane, from their expressions clearly bantering. He was pleased that they were getting on, in a fashion, not wanting anyone else to feel as miserable as he did. The happy home that Germaine had described felt miserable to him, the décor dull. He couldn’t stay in the room long and went back downstairs with Stuart, who asked him if he wanted anything to eat or drink.

“
Just water, please,” Grey said. Stuart went outside to ask Laura and Conrad if they wanted anything and Laura followed him back inside and told Grey that she was going with Conrad to the Protestant church to try and organise a burial date.

“
Should I come?” Grey asked, unsure if it was something that he should do.

“
Let us handle this. One other thing that we are going to have to do is unload the coffin into this house in case the authorities want to see it so you two might be better off going to my house,” Laura said.

“
That makes sense. They won’t just bury a 16 year old without some sort of investigation,” Grey said staidly.

“
We’ve got the documentation from the American inquest so they’ll probably not do much beyond examine the body,” Laura said, trying to reassure him. She went to help them lift the coffin from the plane and Conrad told her to stand aside and hold the door open for them if she wanted to help.

“
The coffin’s bulky and James and Stuart both got injured in the war,” Laura said.

“
So did I, but we’ll still manage it. She’s not that heavy,” Conrad said, feeling his foot in his mouth and wanting to kick himself for his poor wording.

Grey didn’t seem bothered and said, “We can do it, Laura.” The truth was that they could manage it easily, the combined weight of Germaine and the coffin light for three men who might have been injured in the past but were now generally fit.

Grey had to practically prod Stuart to find out about how he found the last eight months, Stuart feeling strange talking about the changes he’d made at the farm after discovering about Germaine’s death, his news seeming insignificant and inappropriate.

“
I saw you’ve got some hens,” Grey said. “Any cows?”

“
Not yet, no. I’ve gone more for crops rather than livestock. That can change if you want.”

“
Is that going well?”

“
Yes. I think it would go better if I spoke the language. You don’t want to hear about this though, James, your wife has…”

“
I know, and I do want to hear about it else I wouldn’t ask. This place looks pretty untouched,” he said as he looked around Laura’s kitchen as they sat around her dining table.

“
I stay at the farm and come here every couple of days to check that everything’s in order. I’ve sold a lot of flowers from here, but more have grown through. With most of the men back in town there’s a market for romance and…God, I should just keep my fool trap shut,” Stuart said, chiding himself.

“
You’ve said nothing wrong, pal, don’t worry about it. What you said about markets has given me an idea. You need a car or truck here, then you could have your own market stall, if you want to.”

“
That’s a good idea, James. I’ll sort it out.”

“
I might stay and help you a while. I don’t know what else I’m going to do,” Grey said, his future uncertain. Stuart enjoyed his own company but the thought of Grey’s company for a little while appealed and he knew that with two of them working they’d be able to be more ambitious with the farm, maybe with both properties (he’d been tempted to ask his cousin to send his 15 year old boy earlier in the year for assistance, resisting just because he didn’t want to mess them about in case plans changed). He applied no pressure, saying that he’d be glad to spend more time with him, but telling him that if he did go he’d be able to manage by himself.

Grey and Stuart talked about Ravensbeck at length, Grey opening one of Laura’s bottles of wine as they discussed the residents, Stuart informing Grey that Ewan Chapman’s wife had given birth to a baby boy. He was unaware that Germaine had been pregnant, Grey revealing that as the bottle neared its end and he began to talk more of Germaine and the last few months. Stuart knew what Grey was, and had been warned about demons (he had to be in case Inge showed up, now no longer an issue) and Grey told him that nothing that he had experienced, even his ordeal at the Alieus hands, had prepared him for Germaine’s death.

“
You think that you know how it feels. I don’t mean you, Stuart, you might know how it feels, I mean that I didn’t know. Being a spectator to loss and grief doesn’t give insight into feelings. I know how much other people have suffered and I feel indulgent for whining. I don’t know,” Grey said, unsure of everything.

“
Whatever you do is your decision, but staying here could be a good way of keeping your mind occupied. Or you might want to sell up and start over in America – we’ll all support you whatever you decide,” Stuart said, prepared to lose his job and home without quarrel if his friend wanted to sell up and move on.

“
I think I need to bury her first before I make any big decisions.”

Laura and Conrad (who had a basic grasp of the French language) did not arrive back at the farmhouse until after ten, having eventually managed to sort things out. The body was gone, being prepared for burial in two days time, and Laura told Stuart that he was welcome to stop if he wished or free to return to his own bed at the Cremonts. He looked to Grey before answering, Grey expressing with a nod for him to go and that he would be fine. Laura offered to cook for them after Stuart had left, having brought some groceries while she was out; Grey thanked her and told her he wasn’t hungry and he retired to bed, to think rather than sleep. Conrad went up to check on him and offer his impressions of Maramont to him to try and amuse him (‘No wonder the Nazis lost if they were prepared to waste their time fighting over a dump like that’). Grey responded to his conversation passively and Conrad left him and went downstairs and updated Laura.

“
He’s just sitting there on the bed. He’s picked the smallest bedroom for some reason.”

“
It’s not the smallest. It’s the one he stayed in when he was first here during the war.”

“
A dangerous move for you that. When my plane was shot down I couldn’t bribe anyone enough for shelter. I couldn’t bribe them with money anyway. A middle-aged spinster was persuaded another way,” he bragged.

“
And what happened to her when you left? Was she shot?”

“
Probably,” he said flippantly before adding, only a touch more seriously, “I don’t know, I’d left. How many did you give shelter to?”

“
Seven soldiers, and James was the only one I liked. You’ve met one of the others, Delgado.”

“
Briefly, but that was all very hazy. What about the other Mexican?”

“
You met Otilio, I think it was, and he wasn’t a soldier. I feel quite pathetic because I can remember all of their names, even though most of them were so bland.”

“
Most of the infantrymen were. If you’d sheltered seven pilots you’d have known about it. Have you been honoured for it? Have they put your name forward for recognition?”

“
They’ve put my name forward for something,” she said acerbically, thinking of the church’s investigation.

“
You deserve some sort of honour for it,” he said genuinely.

“
It kept him alive. That’s enough,” she said, eschewing the notion of any sort of ceremony for her.

“
You two do seem very close. Did he help you out in a similar way to me or did he pass on some messages from a loved one?”

“
No. He’s just a friend,” she said, cooking a meal for the two of them, and offering him some serious advice as they ate.

“
Life is to be lived, Conrad, and I won’t criticise you for enjoying life. I would caution you though – be careful who you step on.”

“
Don’t worry, Laura, you’re not in my sights. You’re a friend of Grey’s and that puts you off limits,” he said, refraining from telling her that he found her unattractive (though her personality interested him). He had always been able to pick and choose and a bald behemoth was the antithesis of his usual choice.

“
Thank you for your courtesy, however I think the real reason is that you know it’s impossible to step on someone above you.” They both behaved in front of Grey, respectful of his loss, but on their own they sparred verbally, both determined to come out on top

He shook his head, smiling at her. “If you think this farmhouse is impressive you should see my homestead and my New York apartment.”

“
I wasn’t talking of material things. When you step on the little people and they sink, not through your malice but through inconsideration, be careful, because they might choose to drag you down to the deep with them.”

“
So be it.”

“
Your name was given to the Alieus. Do you know what that means?”

“
Being tortured for years or something,” he said insouciantly. “James says that they’re dead now so it doesn’t much matter. Look, his wife was young and healthy and she dropped dead without warning so I’m going to just keep having fun and not think about the future. If I have one that’s a bonus, but I’m not going to sacrifice my present fun just to have a dull future.”

Laura smiled at him, approving of the sentiment and warming to him more for not heeding her advice. After another day in which Grey still felt unlike himself, though he made an effort to act normal around the others, Laura and Conrad sat up late and dined together again, this time with a bottle of Laura’s finest wine, which Conrad appreciated, having drunk it many times previously. They had bantered all day and it came as no surprise to her when he kissed her, though she played it cool.

“
I thought I was taboo as a friend of James’?”

“
The second alcohol touched my lips that rule no longer applied. It’s not like you’re his girl,” Conrad said, making his intentions clear by running his hand up her thigh.

“
True. This isn’t the place though,” Laura said, concerned that Grey might catch them at it on the eve of his wife’s funeral. “Come up to my room in five minutes.”

Conrad looked at the grandfather clock impatiently and followed her upstairs after two minutes. The stubbly head, even the missing breast, did not put him off. She was no pinup but Conrad still found himself sexually desiring her because of her personality, which in her case (and this was a first for him) could make him look beyond her less appealing appearance. They woke up Grey with the intensity of their prolonged lovemaking, both involuntarily crying out at different times. It had been almost 50 years since Laura had last taken a sexual partner and she used a mild, harmless spell to make the most of it, extending the session beyond its natural duration. Conrad was not the sort of man she felt she could fall in love with, Laura merely responding to the sexual attraction they both felt and enjoying sex without emotional attachment or complication.