Undying Hunger (18 page)

Chapter Nineteen

For the second time in as many nights, Alex needed a crane to lift her eyelids. Pressing the heel of her hands to her eye sockets, she attempted to rub away the lethargy. Her head throbbed as she rolled over in bed. Where was the damn bat that had used her skull for practice? Inhaling deeply, she tugged the cool sheet around her a little higher. That’s when it hit her.

The smell.

Fresh and clean. Too clean. The only thing tingling her sinuses was a trace of furniture polish and window cleaner. She peeked under her eyelids, and the familiar scene of heavy oak furniture that decorated her bedroom in the Enclave mansion filled her vision.

“What?” Her pulse raced, and shoving against the thick mattress, she pushed up in bed. Glancing down, she noted the same pink T-shirt Markus had given her back at the cabin. “Markus,” she whispered. When had he brought her back, and why the hell didn’t she remember the trip? “Markus!” she called out, and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

“Alex?” Her sister rushed into the room. “Hey there.” She stretched her hand out and offered up a washcloth from the bathroom. “I was just getting this for you, hoping it would help you come around. How are you feeling?”

“Confused,” she said, accepting the cloth and pressing it to her face. The heat felt nice and refreshing against her skin. Alex glanced up. “When did I get here?”

“A few hours ago.” Elle leaned against the tall, ornate bedpost. “Are you sure you feel okay?”

Physically, other than a being a bit foggy, she felt fine. She was completely healed from her knife wound. So why had she been unconscious? “Yeah. I think so. Did Markus tell you anything about why he returned with me? And more importantly, why the hell I was knocked out?”

“Uhm…” Elle toyed with the snaps to her blouse and smoothed the front of her capris. “Some of it.”

What was going on? Elle was evading, which sent a tremor of panic down her spine.

“Some?” Alex stood, and a wave of dizziness coursed through her. She stumbled, but the back of her legs struck the bed, steadying her. Pressing a palm to the mattress, she gave herself a moment for the room to settle.

“Alex?” Elle was at her side. “I thought you said you were okay.”

She swallowed and blinked. “I thought I was, too. I don’t know where that came from.” She glanced over at her sister. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Deflecting her stare, Elle muttered, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“You mean while I was with Markus?”

She nodded.

“We’d been talking. Getting to know each other a little better.” Alex eased onto the side of the bed. “I was actually pleasantly surprised, Elle. He was kind to me.” She would never forget the way he’d touched her—in more ways than one. The tenderness he’d shown her when she’d talked about her childhood. “I saw another side of him I never knew existed.” She chuckled. “A person I don’t think anyone knew existed.”

“Wow. I’m sure that was,
uhm
…quite enlightening.” Elle faced her, yet for some reason, she wasn’t looking at her.

“You’re acting strange.” She shook her head. “I know what he did wasn’t right, and you had to be pissed off and worried.”

“We were—I was. No one had a clue where he’d taken you.” Elle shoved her long dark hair back behind her ears. “But that’s something we can talk about at another time.”

“Okay…” Alex nibbled her bottom lip. “What should we be talking about now?”

“About one of the reasons Markus brought you back to me—to us.” Elle strode closer again and brushed her palm over Alex’s hair. “He wanted you to be here, with me, when you remembered.”

“When I remembered?” Alex looked up at her sister. “Come on, Elle. You’re talking in riddles.”

“He gave them back to you.”

“Gave me what?” Alex stood, and Elle stepped back, her eyes wide, pupils dilated. Her sister was freaking her out. Gooseflesh lifted the hairs on Alex’s arms, and her chest ached. “Tell me!”

“Your memories.”

Elle’s words were soft, yet they resonated through her like a shock wave. She couldn’t move. Couldn’t process what she was saying. All she could do was stand there and watch as tears welled in her sister’s amber eyes.

“Think back.” A lone tear escaped, leaving a glimmering damp trail down Elle’s cheek. “He said your memories are all there now. All you need to do is wake them up.”

Like a hard fist trying to block her next breath, nausea welled at the back of her throat. Alex clamped a hand on her neck and fought to hold on to her stomach contents.

He’d given them back.

Her suspicions had been right all along. She’d never believed that the cause of her partial amnesia had been related to psychological trauma. There had to be more to it than that. And now she had her confirmation. Markus had been the one to wipe her brain of her time with him and Marguerite.

Grabbing the headboard’s post, Alex slumped onto the edge of the mattress.

“Alex?” Elle whispered. “Do you remember?”

Wake them up.
That was all she needed to do to find her memories. But all she could see inside her head was Markus, half naked, his eyes glowing with passion and lust as he’d stared down at her between his knees. She could still taste the salty-sweetness of his rock-hard length on her tongue. She could see the beads of sweat on his forehead while he’d trembled in restraint as she’d taken him to the back of her throat. God, how she’d wanted him.

Markus had revealed things about himself—exposed details about his past he’d never confided to anyone before her.

Yet he hadn’t told her about the weeks she’d spent as his prisoner.

I’m a monster.
That he had admitted to her. More than once. Still, that same monster had given her more pleasure than she’d ever experienced with any mortal man.

So what had been so horrific or damning that he’d felt the need to hide from her? Dear God, for how long and how many times had she asked herself that same question? Fear wrapped its sharp talons around her stomach. Her breath hitched. Now that the moment she’d fought for was finally here, did she want to know?

“Alex,” Elle called out to her. “Talk to me.”

Unbidden, blurred images zoomed past her mind’s eye. Distorted voices, as if they were being played on a turntable at the wrong speed, filled her head. Alex clutched her scalp.
No, no, no…
She panted, needing more air than the room provided. It was all coming too fast. The contents of her stomach roiled.

She darted for the room’s exit.

“Alex!” her sister yelled and grabbed her from behind. Elle wrapped her arms around her. “It’s going to be okay,” she crooned.

Alex’s legs buckled, and together, they crumpled to the floor. Pulling her in close, Elle cradled her against her chest. As if the events unfolding inside her mind had happened yesterday and not last year, Alex was there—in full living color—back inside Marguerite’s lair.

I’m trying to escape when one of Marguerite’s guards spots me. They drag me back inside the old mansion and upstairs into Marguerite’s private room. Fighting and kicking every step of the way, I’m forced into the wicked bitch’s parlor. Surveying the room, my gaze finds Markus. My heart rate staggers at the sight of the dark alpha male.

Markus is a hard and controlled son of a bitch. Despite that unfortunate personality trait, my body responds to him, no matter how hard I fight against the chemistry. But the male glaring at me isn’t the vampire who regularly visits my hellhole in the basement. As he approaches, his expression morphs into a stoic mask. The only glimmer of emotion is the frigid determination staring back at me from his gray irises.

“I don’t like problems,” Marguerite says. “Fix this one, Markus. If not, kill her. Or I will.”

Dear God, what is he about to do to me?
Run!
my mind screams. Except escape is impossible.

He demands I come with him. Oh, fuck no. And I attempt to say as much. But before I can utter a defiant word, he’s in my face; his large palms hold my head steady and force me to meet his gaze.

Something like a bolt of lightning pierces my skull. My brain jolts. I try to pull away from whatever Markus is doing to me, but my limbs refuse to respond to my will.

“What are you doing to me?” Terror floods my insides, hitting me like a rogue wave of screaming darkness, dragging me under, no matter how hard I paddle. Another arc of pain arrows through my head. I cry out, and my legs fail me, sending me into Markus’s arms.

His voice slices through the pain, demanding my obedience. Every fiber in my being rages against his orders, but there is nothing I can do to resist him. He owns me. I am his to command. Helpless to deny his every whim.

A groan from some distant ache in her soul bubbled to the surface. The grip Elle had on her arms tightened, and a sob shook her sister’s body.

How could the same man who’d held her while she’d cried, reliving the secrets from her past—the man who’d risked his life to save hers, and then given her such pleasure while denying his own—have done that to her? He had reached inside her mind, stolen her will. Manipulated her like an animated doll. The memory made her sick.

Stealing her humanity had been difficult enough to forgive him for, yet at some point she’d been able to do so. Shit, she’d nearly begged him to make love to her. Thank God some minute part of him had had the decency to restrain himself.

A flash of rage burned its way through her veins at the thought, and she shoved free of her sister’s hold.

“Where is he?” Her pulse strumming in her temples, Alex stood.

Her eyes wide, Elle’s mouth parted, her lips trembling. “I-I don’t know.” She shook her head.

“Dammit! I’ll find him myself.” Alex charged for the door. No way in hell would Markus get away with what he’d done to her. She couldn’t reverse the fact that she’d been turned against her will. There was no going back. But God help her, when she was done making him pay for screwing with her mind, he’d curse the day they’d ever crossed paths.

“Wait!” Elle called out to her. “Alex, wait.” She caught her arm, halting her before she could twist the knob on the door.

Alex whirled on her, ready to demand she let her go, when the expression on her sister’s face grounded her. Worry for Alex’s state of mind clouded her eyes, but there was more. Guilt ran like hidden rip currents through her whole demeanor. Others may not have noticed it, but she knew her sister, and Alex recognized the signs.

Suddenly, it all made sense. The way her sister had encouraged her to let it go when she’d confided in her about how crazy the blanks in her memory were making her. How she’d tried to convince her that not remembering what happened was in her best interest. Not to mention how odd Elle had been acting when she’d awakened.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Like miniature grenades, the words dropped from her lips with their pins pulled, ready to blow their relationship to bits. “All this time.” Her voice rose, and instinctively her hand went to her chest, attempting to contain her aching heart as it tried to beat its way through her breastbone. “You’ve known what he did to me, and you never said a word.”

“I couldn’t stand seeing you hurt more than you already were.” Elle closed in, and reached out for Alex’s arm.

“Don’t!” Alex jerked back. The last thing she wanted or needed was her comfort. “Just don’t.” She closed her eyes and waved her sister off.

“You despised Markus,” Elle began. “You hated him for turning you against your will, and after what you went through when I left you with our mother…”

Alex opened her eyes. Elle’s face hid behind her palms, but Alex heard her quiet sobs.

“It killed me when I found out what had happened to you,” Elle cried.

“I never blamed you,” Alex said. “But don’t go there. What you did has nothing to do with that.”

Elle jerked her head up. “It has everything to do with that,” she snapped. “I’m your big sister. I’m supposed to look out for you! But I didn’t do that, did I? When I ran out, I left you without anyone to protect you.”

Tears welled, clouding Alex’s vision. Elle needed to stop. Learning the truth about Markus on top of reliving the pain of her past was too much to deal with right now.

“Elle, please,” she begged.

“And when you went missing last year and ended up a victim of Marguerite and Markus’s sick games, I’d failed you yet again.” Her voice cracked.

“Would you stop!” Alex grasped her sister by her shoulders. “I’m pissed as hell that you kept me in the dark all these months when you knew the holes in my memory were driving me insane. I’m hurt.” She tempered her voice. “But I’ve never felt that you failed me.”

“How can you say that?” Elle sniffed and shook her head.

“Dammit, Elle. You saved my life. Don’t you see that?” Alex smoothed her sister’s hair back from her face. “The money you managed to send me helped me to finally get out of that situation at home. Then, when I was an idiot and got myself trapped in the basement of Wicked Ways, you were the one to drop everything and find me.” Alex eased a few steps back. “You’ve
never
failed me.” Placing her fingertips to her cheeks, Alex swiped away the damp trail of her own tears. “Now don’t get me wrong, you’ve got some major sucking up to do to make up for keeping this secret.”

Elle released a choked laugh. “I just thought if you didn’t remember, you would be spared the pain.” She frowned.