Unexpected (16 page)

The kiss from that
first night was nothing compared to this. It may have had some
semblance of passion that was leading to something more, but it
wasn't explosive.

This
is
explosive.

Alina moans against
my mouth, and the next thing I know, she's yanking me forward by my
belt loops until my body is flush against hers. The closeness
causes her to become aware of the reaction I'm having down south.
Gasping, she tears her lips away from mine, staring up into my
eyes.

I let out a groan,
half wishing my cock was capable of not stirring in her presence.
“Sorry, that's something I can't—”

My words die off as
she brings my face back down to hers, pressing our lips back
together. She wraps a leg around my thigh and I palm her ass,
gently lifting her up. She immediately winds both of her legs
around me, settling my erection directly on the spot it wants to
be. “Ryan, oh God...”

I growl the
second she begins moving against me, pressing and rubbing her soft
core up and down along my length. I grind back, wishing our pants
weren't in the way. Fucking pants. We're almost back
where
we started in the shower, except with clothes on.
I should stop before we take this too far, before
she regrets this moment.

But she's not
stopping and all I can think is,
Fuck the consequences
, because I need her. In a way I can't begin to
explain, I need this woman.

My hand slides
underneath her wet tank top and over her bra. She shudders under my
touch, her lips falling away from mine as a gasp escapes them. I
squeeze her breast lightly, relishing in the moan I get in
response. “You're going to have to stop making those noises,” I
whisper against her lips. “Do you want somebody to hear—”

“
Alina?
Ryan?”

Damn it straight to
hell.

We both still at
the sound of Lorraine's voice from the other side of the barn. Our
heavy breathing fills the air around us. Alina takes a deep breath
and yells back, “We'll be over there in a minute.”

Feeling cheeky, I
say, “Make it five,” as I kiss her neck.

Breathing a sigh,
she angles her head back to give me better access. “Stop before I
shove you into the grass and ride you like a stallion.”

I laugh, pulling
away to look at her face. “Was that supposed to be a threat?
Because I thought threats were supposed to be something the other
person doesn't want.”

Her eyes glance in the direction of her mom,
then back to me. “
Do you want her
to come over here and catch us?”

“
No.”

“
There's your
threat.”

Well, shit. She
loosens her grip on me and I set her back on solid ground. The
separation of our bodies just about kills me. She shivers as a
light breeze from the summer air whispers by. She picks up both of
the water guns, avoiding my gaze as she hands mine over. “Let's go
back to the bonfire and dry off a little before we leave.” She
walks ahead of me, still without looking me in the eye.

I follow close
behind her. “I know that look, Alina.”

“
No, you
don't.”

“
You're
thinking too much.”

“I'm always thinking too much.”

Yeah, that's the problem.
I let out a long sigh. We're almost back to the bonfire and
her family, so the rest of this conversation will have to wait
until we're alone again.

~*~

After a half
hour of complete silence on the drive back, we get home around
midnight. Alina's mom insisted we take home some of the food, which
included half a cherry pie and a few brownies. I put away the
brownies in a drawer while Alina puts the pie in the refrigerator.
When she closes the fridge door and turns around, I'm blocking the
path that leads out of the kitchen. “We need to talk. And I don't
mean that in the bad way, I just mean that we can't
ignore
what happened tonight.”

She bites her lip,
then nods. “I know.”

“
Do you want
to go first, or should I?”

“
Can
I?”

“
Yes,
please.”

“
Okay,” she
says slowly. She bites at her lip again, glancing away from me for
a few seconds, then letting out a long breath. “Okay...It's been,
what, almost three weeks since everything changed, right?” I nod.
“And we've known each other for a month and three weeks, right?” I
nod again. “Both of those facts make it seem like things are going
too fast, but on the other hand, I feel like I've known you for
longer. I don't know if those feelings, or the other feelings you
stir up in me, are clouding my judgment.” She closes her eyes, and
when she opens them, I notice the moisture filling the corners. I
move closer to her and she reaches for my hand. “We have something
between us, but I'm terrified...” She brings my hand up to her
face, pressing a kiss to the knuckles. “I want this, I do...so
much...but I can't right now.”

The conflict in her just about breaks my
heart. I might have said “fuck the consequences” earlier today, but
seeing her now makes me rethink everything. “It's okay,” I tell
her, my free hand brushing over her cheek. “We don't have to.”

She reaches up, holding my hand in place
against the side of her face. She closes her eyes, a lone tear
slipping free and sliding down her cheek. When she looks at me
again, her blue eyes are curious. “Do you...want to...I mean...”
She leaves the thought hanging in the air. She knows I know what
she's talking about.

I shudder out a sigh. “Yes.” My voice is
barely a whisper. My thumb caresses over her cheek, wiping that
tear away. “Yes, Alina.”

“I'm not saying no.”

“I know.”

“If we're going to—you know—it isn't going to
be just sex. It can't be...not with you.”

There's a pitter-patter in my chest as if I'm
in high school and talking to my first crush. Her words hit me
deep, the impact of them leaving an imprint on the walls of my
heart. With everything she and I have been through—separately and
together—her words strike more true than anything else I've ever
known. “It wouldn't be just sex for me either,” I tell her. Her
next breath comes out in a rush, as though she'd been holding it,
expecting me to give her a different answer. “We can be friends.
I'll be your friend as long as you want me to be. I'll stay your
friend even if we can't be more than friends.”

She blinks a couple times, and a few more
tears fall. She reaches up to wipe them away. “God, Ryan. You're
making me an emotional basket case.”

“There's nothing wrong with crying.”

“
I don't like
being the damsel in distress. That's the vice of weak
women.”

“
Just because
weak women use it for their benefit, doesn't mean strong women have
to hide it. Tears are tears. Emotion is emotion. You can't control
it. Honestly, you shouldn't.”

She lets out a
garbled laugh, shaking her head. “Are we good?”

The ache in my heart makes me want to say no,
but when I look into her sad, beautiful eyes, I can't. “
Yes, we're great.”

She reaches for me,
pulling me closer for a hug. Without hesitation, I wrap my arms
around her, holding her solidly against my body. If all she can
give me is friendship, I'll take it. I'll take it every day for the
rest of my life if it means she'll be there every step of the
way.

Chapter Twenty-one

–
Alina –

I sleep on the couch Saturday night. After
the intensity of our kiss against the barn and the conversation in
the kitchen, I felt like sleeping in the same bed would be a bad
idea. At least it would be a bad idea tonight. Even more so thanks
to the underlying chemistry that seems to blossom when we follow
through on other bad ideas.

When I finally wake up Sunday it’s almost
noon. With my eyes still closed, I replay the kiss over and over in
my head. Those lips drinking me in like he was parched; the primal
growl just like the one in the shower. I don't even know how long
we were kissing. It felt as though someone bottled a lifetime of
kisses...and we were silly enough to open the bottle even though we
knew what would happen.

The second the warmth of him was gone, what
we had done hit me. I shivered not only from the air, but also from
how he touched me—and not just physically either. Thinking about it
now tugs at my heart, burning away the part of my brain in charge
of reasoning. I can't turn these thoughts off; they just spin
through my head, reminding me how dangerous it is. The moment we
shared was the most amazing and dumbest thing I could have
done.

It's barely been a goddamn month and I'm
starting to feel things. Things I shouldn't feel. Not this soon.
Not this deep.

Not this fast.

I know it's unreasonable to feel the way I
do, but after everything that has happened, the last thing I want
is to lose him. Our friendship means the world to me, and that's
scary as hell. I'm tempted to step over to the other side, but then
all the “what ifs” block my path and I stop.

I lift myself up, cursing my aching back, and
head into the kitchen. I pour a glass of orange juice and eat a
piece of the pie my mom sent with us.

As I'm standing there leaning against the
counter, Ryan peeks in. “I thought I heard something.”

Even though I hear him coming, his voice
makes me almost jump. “Did I wake you up?”

“No, I've been up. I was worried I'd wake
you
up.”

“Oh...” I set down my fork. “What have you
been doing?”

He scratches his head, running his fingers
back through his hair. “Just...writing.”

“Writing?”

“Song lyrics.”

I make a face. “I thought you guys only did
covers.”

He scrunches his face up, rubbing a hand over
his chin. “We do, but it doesn't stop me from coming up with
originals when the mood strikes me.”

“Oh, okay. That makes sense.” I look away
from him for a second, then look back. “You want me to help you
with anything today? Need anything from the store?”

He shakes his head. “I can't think of
anything from the store, but if you want to clean up a little, you
can.”

After I wake up a little more, I tidy up the
living room and bathroom. Ryan continues to work in his room, now
using the guitar since I'm awake. He stays in there and we don't
say anything else. I hope that last night didn't ruin what we have,
because it feels strange for us not to hang out.

I'm about to clean the kitchen when I get a
craving for some chocolate chip cookies. I search through the
cupboards and discover we have everything needed to make them from
scratch. So I get out all the ingredients and start stirring them
into a large bowl.

I'm so engrossed in the baking that I don't
even notice Ryan until he's standing next to me. I jump and he
chuckles. “Sorry,” he says. “I thought you heard me come in
here.”

“Obviously not.” Before I can stop him, he
sticks his finger into the bowl, taking some of the cookie dough. I
gasp, smacking him as he licks it off. He makes a grumbling kind of
noise that almost sounds like a chuckle. I point the spatula at
him. “Do you want cookies or not? Because you're not going to have
any if you keep this up.”

He raises an eyebrow, making a face.
“Fine.”

I reach for the bowl to finish stirring when
he sticks his finger in again. This time I grab his wrist before he
can eat the cookie dough. He gives me a look, then tries to pull
free from my grip. I don't know what possesses me, but I do the
only logical thing I can think of: I stand on my tiptoes and lick
it off his finger.

We make eye contact before I finish. Holy
smoldering gaze, Batman. I step back, releasing both his finger and
his wrist. I let out a choked cough. “Um, sorry about that.”

“No need to be sorry. You taught me a
valuable lesson.”

“Which is?”

“Keep my fingers out of the cookie dough
unless I want the hot baker to suck on my finger.”

“Oh, God.” I hit my forehead with my hand and
keep it there. “I didn't have any intention of, you know, anything
other than just...”

He laughs. “Alina, trust me. I know what you
were trying to do. I'm just going to forewarn you...next time you
try to one-up me, please try to refrain from being insanely sexy.
My nice warm shower is now going to be a very cold one.”

My eyes involuntarily glance south and notice
the straining erection pressing against his pants. “Oh, I, uh...”
Try as I might, I can't look away from it.

“Usually girls go off on guys when they're
constantly staring at their breasts. I never thought I'd have to
tell a girl to stop eyeballing my cock.”

I let out a breath and look him in the eye.
“You actually want me to stop?”

“If you keep this up, I might come in my
pants.”

His direct answer causes my body to feel hot
all over. “Really? That easily?”

“When it comes to you? Yes. Absolutely.”

Damn it. What are we doing? Didn't I just
tell him last night that I couldn’t do this right now? Then why am
I sucking on his finger and staring at his crotch? I swallow,
daring to tempt fate. “I could come just thinking about your cock
inside me.”

His eyes blaze like fire. “I could come just
thinking about your breasts in my hands.”

I gasp, the memory of his touch causing my
nipples to involuntarily harden under my shirt. “I don't think
friends talk to each other like this,” I whisper.

He lets out a long sigh, closing his eyes. “I
suppose you're right.” Without another word, he leaves the room. I
sag against the counter, a shaky hand coming up to my forehead. I
take in a deep breath and let it out, then finish placing the
cookie dough on the baking sheets. As I wait for the timer to go
off, I sit on the floor with my knees against my chest, wondering
what's next.