Authors: Sloan Johnson
Coming October 2013
Prologue
(Tommy)
I don’t know why I’m here. I walk into her room with a cup of coffee and a bagel every day and sit with her until late at night. The nurses think I’m the compassionate boyfriend, not willing to leave her side. The truth is, I’m no one to her.
“Holly, I don’t know if you can hear me,” I whisper in her ear, wrapping my hand around her fingers. “You need to wake up. Tasha’s starting to think you’re slipping away but I told her she’s wrong.”
There’s no response. There hasn’t been for the past two weeks and I’m starting to worry there never will be. I’ve seen enough cases like this to know that every passing day reduces her chances of a full recovery.
“Come on, Holly. You can’t make a liar out of me now.” I slide my chair closer to the bed, hoping I can close my eyes and sleep for a few minutes before the doctors make their rounds.
The sleepless nights are catching up with me; every time I close my eyes, I see her body, lying in a pool of blood on the concrete. If we had gotten to her sooner, she might not be here.
The only saving grace of her being in a coma is that she hasn’t suffered the violent withdrawals from cocaine. Her body still went into shock, but she didn’t have to battle those demons. I’ve already talked to a friend of mine in the addiction recovery department and he has a bed waiting for her as soon as she’s healthy enough. But before that can happen, I need her to wake up.
“Tommy?” The soft voice at the door sounds almost as weary as my own. I turn and see Tasha. She’s alone today, which is highly unusual. Dylan hasn’t been thrilled with the idea of leaving her alone since the attack. “What are you doing? You need to get out of here, go do something.”
I’m used to this fight from her. She doesn’t understand why I am willing to sit with Holly every
day since the girl doesn’t even know I exist. Hell, I don’t understand it either, but that doesn’t mean I can change it.
“It’s not like I have anything better to do,” I grumble, leaning back in my chair. “They aren’t ready to wrap up the investigation yet. It seems there are a lot of people hoping your friend wakes up so she can give her statement.”
“What’ll happen to you if she doesn’t wake up?” Tasha asks, tears filling her eyes. I can’t imagine the pain she is in, seeing her friend lying in this hospital bed with a variety of probes and wires attached to her body.
Professionally, I’ll be fine. I know I did nothing wrong when I took a shot at Nick Romero, Tasha’s ex-husband. My paid administrative leave is a formality while they try to conclude the investigation of the night’s events. Personally, I can’t bear the thought of Holly not pulling through.
“I’ll be fine,” I assure Tasha, motioning for her to join me in the chair on between the bed and the window. “Where’s Dylan today?”
“He’s finally getting back to work,” she sighs. “Between us, I was starting to wonder if he would ever leave town again.”
“You can’t really blame him, can you? Look at everything the two of you have been through since you met.” I don’t bother listing off the number of police reports I filed on her behalf because all that will do is get her thinking about what she might have done differently to stop Holly from going in debt to a drug dealer.
Tasha doesn’t answer me. Instead, she stares at the monitors, as if they will give her some insight as to what’s going on with Holly. No one knows why she’s not waking up. The doctors think her body might just need time to heal itself from the combination of drug abuse and the assault.
At some point, I drift off to sleep. I can hear Tasha talking to Holly, begging her to wake up so they can get past their problems.
“Please, Holly, you have to wake up,” she sobs. “You can’t leave me, especially when I was mad at you when you saw me last. You have to wake up so I can tell you how sorry I am for not trying harder.”
“Next week is Thanksgiving. Dylan and I are having a bunch of people over to the house. I know you probably won't be out of the hospital by then, but I can see if they’ll let me bring you some pie.”
I’m awake now, but I stay as still as possible. I want the girls to have this time together and Tasha gets quiet whenever she knows I’m listening. This is how I learn the most about Holly; eavesdropping on Tasha’s ramblings, hearing about the trouble they used to get into. Despite her frail, bruised appearance, I know she’s a spitfire. I only hope that someday I will be able to experience her attitude for myself.
Emma Nichols
Coming August 2013
I am not a gambler. I don’t make bets…not on sports, not in casinos. I don’t take unnecessary chances. There will be no bungy jumping, no skydiving, no parasailing. When it comes to making decisions in my life, I weigh the odds, consider my skillset, and decide from there. There are some risks that I’m willing to take, calculated risks, the ones that don’t scare me at all. Working online, being self-employed, moving whenever the mood strikes me…. these have never felt like risks. These decisions always felt like the natural progression for me.
Real estate is a gamble that I’ve never lost. My choices have served me well. At the tender age of 28, I have five properties in five different states. Four of them are rented. The fifth, I’m living in…for a few more days. As I drive back to Raleigh from Charleston, I’m completely lost in thought. Never before have I taken a chance when I have stood to lose more than I could safely. So what the hell was I doing…laying my heart on the line? Lost in thought, I was zigzagging impatiently through traffic.
“You do realize that the week won’t go any faster just because you drive faster, right?” Jolie asked, jolting me from my thoughts.
“What?” I asked, without even considering what she had said.
“Slow down! If you kill us, you’ll never get to Vegas,” she urged.
Glancing down at the speedometer, I realized that I was pushing 90mph. Crap. With a loud sigh, I took my foot off the accelerator and gave her an apologetic frown. “I’m sorry, girl. I wasn’t paying attention.”
Reaching over to pat my arm, Jolie smiled sympathetically. “I know,” she said. “I get it. There is a lot to do over the next few days. Are we driving or flying to Vegas?”
My face scrunched up in thought. I felt it and stopped myself. No need to do more damage than time already was. “Wow. I really haven’t thought this through. We’ve never moved so quickly before. I mean, I have to call the realtor and have them find a renter for the house. I have to call PODS and get a few storage containers. Then there’s turning off all the utilities, returning the cable box, putting a hold on the mail.” I shook my head it was spinning so hard.
Chuckling, Jolie simply pulled out her iPhone. “Let’s make a list,” she said simply.
I marveled at her, sounding so calm when I felt like my head might just freaking pop off. “Look at me. I’m a wreck. This isn’t me. What happened?” I raised my hand, exasperated and utterly disgusted with myself.
“Love,” she said seriously. “My baby finally found love.” With that declaration, she turned her attention to the new note she was creating.
Something in me calmed down. I could do this. We could do this. In a week, I’d be starting a new life in Vegas. If he kept his word, Mr. BE would be there, with me, a part of this new life. That…
that
was what had me all unhinged.
I don’t do love. Only now…with BE, maybe I did. All I knew for certain was that one week wasn’t enough. We had more story to tell, more life to live, more experiences to be had. He made me feel things in a way I never had before. He made me want things I had never wanted…like permanence. Shoot, I might even consider breaking all my rules for him.
For this man, I would settle down because I sure as hell didn’t feel like I was settling. He was everything I never knew I always wanted. We knew practically nothing about each other and yet…we made sense. Somehow, I didn’t care about his past. All I thought about now was our future. I just needed to survive this week. A lot of that was going to depend on the list.
Slowly, I inhaled and exhaled a few times. I set the cruise control on the SUV. Finally, when I felt more relaxed, I spoke to Jolie once more. “So, how is that list coming along?”
Nodding, she looked up at me and smiled widely. “We’re good. It’s all good. You know how this works. We’ve done this so many times before. It doesn’t even matter that we are on a time schedule. We’ve got this.”
Without saying another word, Jolie picked up my phone and started to place a call. “Here,” she said, “tell the nice lady about your house.”
Blowing out another breath, I reached for the phone and began the conversation that would start it all. We were really doing this. We had done this before, but this time…it was more real. This move was the scariest move ever.
***
We stopped soon after that phone conversation. Something about a week on the cruise ship
had conditioned my body into thinking it needed to be fed every few hours. Smiling to myself, I realized that some of that had to do with the fact that I had burned a heck of a lot of calories on that trip. This was going to be a long week. At the end of it, we will have spent as much time apart as we had together.
The chocolate shake from the McDonalds drive thru was just what I needed to tide me over for the rest of the drive. That…and the chicken wrap. Somehow, because it was chicken, I had managed to trick my body into believing it had just eaten something healthy. Sucker. The shake was drink and dessert all in one cup, with whip cream and a cherry on top. I smiled lazily as I drove.
“When is the realtor coming to look at the place?” Jolie asked. She didn’t have a house to rent. In Raleigh, she had opted to rent an apartment. She didn’t expect for us to be here as long as we were. Three years was a long time for us. Before that, it had been a couple of years max in each of the other states.
What she had failed to consider was that Raleigh was so close to everything…the beaches, the mountains, other major metro areas. We had spent countless afternoons walking trails and taking pictures. Please note I said walking…I don’t hike. If I can’t do it in my flip-flops, I don’t do it. My toes hate being confined. As cute as they are with a pedicure, that would just be wrong anyway.
Living in Raleigh had meant years of photo
opps. There were plenty of famous people passing through, plenty of festivals to attend, and plenty of scenic areas to capture. Raleigh was incredibly profitable. Now we were gearing up for our new adventure.
“Well, the realtor is coming at 10am on Monday, so I guess I have two days to work on packing and cleaning,” I said with a sigh. “Jolie, how am I going to do this?”
“I only have an apartment to pack. I can help you. You can hire a cleaning service. The movers will pack for you if you can just decide to go that route instead of a storage container. This is easy,” she chided.
“Not that…BE,” I murmured. “I don’t know how to do it. Clearly I suck at relationships. Look at Kyle. Look at every guy before him.”
“They don’t count. And whatever you did over the past week obviously works, right?” Jolie said gently.
“Okay.” I took a few breaths. “I’m done.”
“What do you mean you’re done?” She looked more alarmed than anything.
“No more freaking out. I’m not even going to think about it. I’m just going to keep my head on the move. Next Saturday I’ll see him and we’ll take it from there.” I nodded my head. That was that.
***
It was early afternoon when I dropped Jolie back at her apartment. She grabbed her bag, leaned in, and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before she walked away. I pulled out of the apartment complex and drove the short drive to my house in what is really considered Cary, North Carolina. My little Cape at the end of the cul-de-sac looked lonely and neglected. The mailbox was full. The grass was long. Since I had left after dark, all the blinds were closed.
Because of Mr. BE’s generosity, I needed to make more than one trip into the house. I started to unpack all the clothes. Instead, I decided to only take out the dirty clothes for washing. It didn’t make any sense to do anything more than that. That’s why I finally decided to just do it, just start some laundry, just run the dishwasher, just clean the fridge, do all those undesirable tasks that will make it possible for me to pack my house.
Before I had even finished, I heard that chime, the one that let me know I had a new text message. I hated that for a moment, my heart thudded in my chest as I rushed to check it. I knew…I
knew
that he didn’t have my number, my name, anything. I knew that there was no way for him to contact me, but I so wanted him to find a way. The screen lit up as I slid my finger across. It was Jolie, forever faithful, always looking out for me, sending the To Do list we had created in the car.
That was almost as good. Let’s face it; my head was everywhere. I needed her direction. I was too distracted to do this on my own. Putting on my game face, I opened the list to get to work.
***
By 7pm, I was too tired
too cook. I should have ruled that out while cleaning the fridge anyway. I called for Chinese. It was a delivery kind of night.
By 8pm, I had folded all the laundry, packed all but a few outfits for the suitcase, and finally settled in to eat the food the delivery driver left. There was nothing on television. I wasn’t going to miss that box once the movers arrived. I felt completely strange in my own skin. I didn’t feel like me. I was unsettled. I was irritable. I was completely losing it. This was going to make for a long night.
Finally, I gave in and placed a call. It rang twice before she answered. I knew what to expect.
“What’s up, babe?” Jolie asked lazily.
“I’m bored. Let’s meet for a drink,” I suggested.
“Where do you want to go?” She questioned, her interest piqued.
“Someplace close and quiet. What about that Irish pub down the road?” I asked seriously.
“Yup. Meet you there in twenty minutes.” Jolie happily agreed.
After I ended the call, I puttered around the house, struggling to find something to do to kill time. I toyed with the idea of touching up my makeup, but really…I had no interest in anyone but BE. I didn’t care about being attractive…I had no interest in attracting anyone. Really, I mostly wanted to be left alone. I shouldn’t even be meeting Jolie. I just wanted a distraction so badly.
Sighing, I headed into the bathroom to get ready. Without thinking, I threw my hair up into a messy bun. Studying my face for a moment, I decided to go light and natural with the makeup despite the darkened bar. I was sun kissed. It if hadn’t been for the look in my eyes, I’d have been really happy with my appearance. I was the picture of health. And the long flowing white sundress completed that image. With a sigh, I slid my feet into a pair of sandals.
For a moment, I considered my jewelry, but I knew in my heart I wasn’t going to change it. I had been wearing the jewelry BE gave to me…the blue diamond ring and band, the bracelet and necklace. There were so few tangible ways for me to feel connected that I wasn’t about to take them off. When I looked at my ring finger, it always made me smile.
Locking the door behind me, I headed to my vehicle parked in the driveway. Sure, I had a garage, but I never parked in it. It was just as well, since I would soon be filling it with boxes in anticipation of the move. Sliding behind the wheel, I started the SUV and headed to pub we had agreed to meet at. I was late. Jolie was used to that. There was some comfort in knowing that she would have staked out a table by the time I arrived.
Sure enough, after I parked and exited the vehicle, I found her in one of the little booths just inside the doorway. She lifted one hand absent mindedly as she waved my direction. She was on the phone, talking animatedly. When I sat across from her, she rushed to get off the phone. “Yeah, talk to you soon. Bye!” Turning her attention to me, she said, “What up, bitch?”
“Not much,” I said. “I’m just…out of sorts.”
A server stopped by the table then. The guy was cute, I guess. From his actions, I was certain he was used to women falling all over him. Poor guy. He wasn’t going to be able to flirt his way to a fat tip tonight. I was impervious to the charms of other men and Jolie…lesbian.
“What can I get for you?” He asked, flashing a huge smile that exposed perfectly white straight teeth.
“Just a Coke for me,” I said. Then I turned my attention once more to Jolie.
She rolled her eyes so hard, her entire head bobbed. “Please. And we need some Irish Nachos…extra sour cream.” She studied the appetizers a moment more before shrugging and conceding. “And that should do it…but I reserve the right to order a brownie sundae later.” She nodded and smirked.
My eyebrows rose. “A brownie sundae? Since when?”
“Since you are in mourning,” she announced.
“I’m not in mourning! What do I have to be upset about? We just returned from an amazing cruise. I had some of the hottest sex of my life. And I’ll be seeing him again in a week!” I crossed my arms over my chest. “We’re starting a new adventure. Life is good.”
“Yes, life is good, but you don’t really believe that. This is why you are so out of sorts. You are having doubts. I can see it.” She frowned at me.
“How would you know?” I sniffed. “I never have doubts. I am the picture of confidence.” I leaned back in the booth in an attempt to project a picture of calm and cool.
She laughed at me then, a big hollow sound, the mocking one. “I’ve known you forever. The last ten years it has been the two of us and your flavor of the month. This guy, BE, he’s not a flavor of the month. BE is the spice of life. You know it, and I know it. I know how unsettling this is for you. Just know that he won’t let you down. He’s not going to stand you up. You can focus on doing what needs to be done and soon, you will be together again.”