Unfiltered & Unlawful (The Unfiltered Series) (15 page)

Then she said, “Did you see it?”

“See what?”

“Dillon. Fucking
Dillon
who sang for us while we wiped tables in the Cave,” she said with excitement in her voice. “He’s all over the television!”

My heart filled with lead at her words. “
He
told?” Of all of the people there, he was one of the ones I thought least likely to spill.

“No! He’s on that show, American Voice. He’s one of the ones everyone’s talking about, and Savannah. Do you know her? Waits tables over at that diner Dillon loved. She’s there too. Everyone’s all ‘they’re a couple.’” Cass laughed in genuine amusement. “He’s been mooning over her forever, but he’s never touched her… not unless he did it in the last couple of weeks. I’m not perfect, but I sure as fuck wouldn’t have been spending nights with him if he was with her. He loves her. She’s too blind to see it though… sort of like you with Adam. How is he?”

I had closed my eyes while Cass talked. She was in a great mood, and I felt like I could pretend she was with me.

“I don’t know. Mad? Gone?” I choked back a sob, but not before she heard it.

“Talk to me,” she ordered.

So I did. I told her everything. I didn’t spare any of the embarrassing or awkward details, not about how my feelings were clouding my judgment or the fact that I practically assaulted him on the back of the bike.

She laughed at that part. “I
told
you bike sex was awesome!”

“Anything with Adam would be awesome,” I muttered pitifully.

“So tell him, dumb ass.” She sighed. “I swear, Sugar, you’re worse than a guy sometimes. Dillon wants Savannah, but he tries to keep her as a friend. You and Adam watch one another like you’re about to combust if you get too close. You can be friends and lovers. Dillon and I were both.”

“You didn’t love him,” I said, not realizing what I’d admitted until I heard her gasp.

“I knew it! Tell. Him. Now.”

“He’s gone! I told you that.” I closed my eyes again. “Weren’t you listening?”

“He’ll be back, Sugar. You know he will. He’s been waiting for you to see him for as long as I’ve seen him coming around, worse since you ditched the… Oh, crud! I didn’t mean… I know he’s dead and all. Tommy
was
an asshole though, Sugar.”

“Yeah, he was sometimes,” I admitted.

We talked a few more minutes, and then I hung up so Cass could go check on work being done on her motorcycle. She didn’t volunteer any details, but I wouldn’t really understand them if she did. What I understood about motorcycles was basically how to be a good passenger on the back of one. I couldn’t ride solo, and I sure as hell couldn’t race like she did… or discuss the upgrades or repairs she was having done. She’d long since given up telling me much in the way of details there.

I held the phone for a minute. It was already on, so I checked my messages and my texts. There were a couple messages from Cass, three from Jason, and one from Sinners Ink asking if I knew where Adam was. There were also a few calls from anonymous numbers. I didn’t delete any of them.

After a moment, I called and left a message at Sinners. “Hey, this is Sasha… Sugar. I got your message. I’m not sure where Adam is. We didn’t stay together. He went to some shop where he used to work. That’s all I know.”

I thought about calling Jason back. He’d left two very terse messages and one that was almost nice. I felt bad that he was without baristas, but I’d feel a lot worse if I got arrested or killed because of the things that happened at The Coffee Cave. It was a downtime in the year anyhow. He’d be fine training new people.

I pulled the card back out of my phone that I’d had back in Rio Verde. I probably didn’t need to. I didn’t think my phone could be used to track me, at least not by the sort of people who might be looking for me. It would be different if it was the police, but the news article that Adam had found was all there was. I was fairly sure no one was really investigating Tommy’s death or the man who’d died at The Coffee Cave. There probably weren’t a lot of people filing missing persons reports on dead drug dealers.

After a while, I sat in the front room, alternating between staring out the window and re-reading one of the regency romance novels that had come with the rental house. It was the second time I’d read it, but it still drew me in.

I wouldn’t say that I was waiting up for Adam, but I might admit that I was worried that he wouldn’t come home. I wouldn’t blame him either. I worried that it was too late to tell him how I felt; I worried that Cass was wrong and he didn’t feel anything more than lust and friendship. I worried about the messages on my phone. Jason probably wanted to nag me about work, or maybe he saw the article about Tommy. They’d met a few times when Tommy came by to watch me at work. The anonymous calls made me nervous, but like so much else, there wasn’t a thing I could do about them.

Worrying kept me awake for another hour or so, but eventually, I gave in to exhaustion and crawled into bed. My burner phone was on the bed next to me just in case Adam called. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if he did call. I didn’t know my way around here at all, but I had the keys to the Explorer and if I had to go somewhere to get him, I’d figure it out then.

I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

It felt like a minute later that the sound of the door slamming woke me suddenly. I glanced at the clock.
4:07.
I had only been asleep an hour or so when I heard Adam come in… at least I assumed it was him. In the wake of everything that had happened, I had to check.

I walked to the doorway of the bedroom, opened the door, and looked out at him. I didn’t know what to say. He stood in the living room, saddlebags in hand, illuminated by the one small lamp he’d turned on.

I clutched the doorframe with one hand like it could keep me steady.

He obviously wasn’t in a forgiving mood because the first thing he said was, “You really didn’t think you could do this and then pretend it never happened, did you?”

I looked at him, not sure there was an answer that wouldn’t lead to an argument I wasn’t ready to have. I’d given him an out, the words he needed so he could go on with the way he lived and I could keep my heart from shattering when he did.

He pulled a bottle of whiskey out of his saddlebag and clunked it on the kitchen counter. “Go to bed,
Sugar
.”

“Seriously? You were riding drunk?? Are you an idiot?”

“That’s a very good question.” Adam twisted the top of the bottle, and I heard the crack of the seal breaking. “I didn’t think I was an idiot, but after tonight, I think I was wrong.”

He lifted the bottle of Jack Daniels like he was toasting me and then took a swig. He walked toward me, the bottle dangling from his hand, but he didn’t touch me. He stopped in front of me and stared down at me.

I folded my arms over my chest. “You could’ve died.”

“Would you care?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Adam. Of course, I’d care. You’re my friend.”

“Right,” he said, turning his back on me and walking over to the sofa. He flopped down on it and then lifted the bottle again. His gaze never left me as he chugged his whiskey.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be rude,” I said. “You weren’t disappointing or anything.”

He quirked his brow. “Well, there’s that at least. I’d hate to be a lousy fuck… oh, wait, we didn’t do
that
. It’s okay for you to suck my cock or for me to make you come over and over on my tongue, but no sex.”

“Don’t be crude,” I snapped.

“Don’t be a… shit, Sasha, I don’t even know what you’re being.” He shook his head. “I don’t think this is how friends act though. I thought we were finally getting somewhere, and you stab me in the heart.”

“I did
what
?”

He ignored my question and kept rambling, “I would’ve ridden drunk too. Drunk Dave tossed my ass in his car and had his crazy wife drive me out while he rode my bike here. Do you know how long it’s been since I was angry enough to ride drunk?
Years,
Sasha. It’s been years, but…” He lifted his hands in an exaggerated gesture of what-can-you-do. “You stabbed me.”

“I didn’t stab you,” I muttered.

“Did.”

I sighed and asked, “
Drunk
Dave rode your Harley?”

Adam waved his hand. “He doesn’t actually drink. Jus’ a name, Sugar.”

“So, you went out, got drunk, Drunk Dave brought you home, and now you’re sitting here with another bottle of whiskey?” I summarized.

“Got it in one.” He patted the sofa. “Come sit with me.”

“Why?” I was already walking toward him though. I couldn’t refuse him.

“Because I don’t care if you’re Sugar or Sasha, I want you near me.” He took another drink. “I can’t change everything, but if what you want is an asshole like Tommy, I can be like that. Hell, I
used
to be like that. Sometimes the things you got to do to take care of your family aren’t legal. Shit happens. It wasn’t the life I wanted though. It’ll kill you. It killed him. But I’ve tried to be a better person, gave up the only bad habit I had left, and you still went to him instead of me.”

I all but fell onto the sofa as he talked. My knees felt weak, and my hands were shaking. I opened my mouth, but no words came.

“Girls feed you all these lines about wanting a good guy, but not you. You want an asshole.” He lifted the bottle again, but this time I grabbed it before he took a drink.

Carefully, I pried the bottle out of his hand and set it on the floor in front of me. “Stop.”

He didn’t reach for it. He just stared at me.

“I don’t understand,” I admitted. “I didn’t mean to hurt you or…”

Adam shook his head. “You’re the only girl I’ve ever felt like this about. I want to see you all the time, and not just naked… Naked was good. Great really.”

He looked at me like there was a question there, and I nodded and said, “It was earth-shattering for me.”

“Then why did you kick me out?”

“I didn’t!”

“You didn’t say ‘get out’ but it was what you meant. ‘Go back to Rio Verde, Adam. Go fuck someone else, Adam.’” He shook his head. “I don’t want anyone else, Sasha. All I can see is you. All I want is you. I can’t be with anyone else. I
tried
. I couldn’t fuck her.”

“Oh.”

He grabbed my hand. “So if you need me to be an asshole, I can be. Just give me time to change.”

“You’re an idiot,” I whispered. “I don’t want you to change.”

Instead of looking relieved, his expression grew cloudier. “So no matter what I do, it’s a no?”

“No!”

“No what? No you won’t give me a chance? Or no… something else?” He frowned.

“No changing. I like
you
, but I thought you were saving yourself for some girl you liked, or just being nice. I know how you are though. I figured if we
did
have sex you’d leave me later because you don’t have relationships. I thought that if we didn’t have sex, I could at least keep you as my friend.”

“You’re an idiot too.” He sounded a little awed, so even though the words were harsh, I didn’t think they were an insult. He proved that a moment later when he added, “I didn’t have anyone permanent in my life because none of them were
you
.”

He bent his head to kiss me, but he pulled away after a moment.

“What?”

“I’ve been wanting you for almost two years and waiting for you to notice for months. I’m not making love to you for the first time when I’m drunk.” He wrapped his arms around me and tugged me on to his lap. “Just let me hold you.”

After a few moments, I shook my head and got out of his lap. “I have a better plan.”

I grabbed his hand and tugged. He stood, steady despite the fact that he was definitely drunk.

“Sleep next to me,” I said, leading him to the bedroom.

“I’m keeping my jeans on,” he muttered, like I was some great seductress trying to steal his honor. “Maybe my boots.”

I laughed. “No boots.”

He scowled. “Okay, but I’m just sleeping, nothing else. If I don’t need to be an asshole to be with you, we’re doing things right.”

I was confused when the shrill sound of the house phone ringing woke me up. I was even more confused when I realized I was wrapped up with Adam. I’d had this dream before, but when I woke, I was alone. I smiled. He was real, and he was in my bed.

“What the fuck is that noise?” he muttered.

“Phone.”

“I’ll give you anything you want if you make it stop. Mansions. Jewels. Private islands.” He opened his eyes and gave me a pitiful look. “Anything.”

I laughed and went to answer the phone while Adam stumbled to the bathroom. I was still smiling when I picked up the phone in the main living area. Adam was in my bed. Adam wanted to be with me for real. It was like someone had just dropped my biggest wish into my lap.

On the other end of the phone, a man asked, “Is this Sasha or Sugar or whatever that drunk bastard said your name was?”

My heart had started racing, waking me better than caffeine would, when someone asked for me. All I could think was that they had found me. Then I realized that it was a call for Adam. My terror ebbed as quickly as it had arrived.

“Maybe.”

“Tell Adam to take the day off. Shaky hands have no place in tattoo shops,” the man barked.

“Thank you,” I said.

As I spoke, Adam walked into the living room bare-foot. He hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt like he usually did the past week, and that little detail was enough to make my heart speed up again… but for a reason other than fear this time.

The way he stared at me, like there was nothing else in the world, made my mouth dry and my panties wet.

I stared at Adam and said, “I’ll tell him you called… I’m guessing this is Not Really Drunk Dave.”

Dave laughed. “I like that… and who’s this? That boy called you a couple different names.”

“Sasha. My name is Sasha,” I said, looking up at the amazing, tattooed, beautiful man who was now stalking across the room toward me. “And as of this morning, I’m pretty sure I’m Adam’s girlfriend.”

I let out a yip as Adam pulled me against him and took the phone. “Sasha’s busy now. I was a fucking idiot last night. I owe you. Hanging up now.”