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As the time for the Plate approached, Paddy kept glancing to the Yoothamurra Stud. Yoothamurra was the nearest stable to the course, in fact it was only some hundred yards away. She wondered which entrant would be led out.

Still Magnus was taking no interest, not only in her but in his entry. Probably he had left it to the boys; he liked doing things like that.

Then Paddy saw the boys and their choice emerging from the adjoining stables.

It took her quite a long time to recognise the candidate. She knew most of the girls and boys now, knew that Current Issue was a grey, Bonny Heather a bay and Ponderous Pete very dark. But this filly was plain brown. What had the four called this possibility again ? Oh, yes, Lightning’s Child. Lightning’s Child? Paddy frowned. Lightning. Where had she heard that before? Now she remembered. Quick As Lightning, another one-time Cup winner as Big Harry had been, Quick As Lightning who had served blind Melisande. This Lightning’s Child was none other than their own Melisande’s Girl, the filly Paul had been riding while one of the boys watched over the blind mare. But who was watching now? Paddy narrowed her eyes and counted. She counted four boys. All at once though she was standing in the bright sunshine she felt icy cold. Was
anyone
watching Melisande?

Was anyone watching that cream-eyed mother who never became upset over anything except her baby? When the child did not answer, when the child did not come to her, Melisande was calm no longer, she became a mad thing, running from fence to fence, forgetting her safety antennae that Magnus had said she had, just flinging herself wildly forward as she looked for her progeny. Was she doing that now? Was blind Melisande destroying herself?

Paddy turned and ran.

She was panting painfully as she reached the stables, she had no breath to call out, and
anyway,
what would have been the use? The entire stud would have been watching the race.

But Melisande could watch nothing, she could only
look blankly
from a cream scum and know a nothing world. Paddy ran over to the small paddock. Perhaps she had only
thought
there had been the four boys with Lightning’s Child ... with Melisande’s Girl ... perhaps one had been left with the blind mare.

But no, Melisande was there, she was alone, and she was cropping peacefully. Evidently she had not realised yet.

Paddy stood near and barely breathed. Anything, she knew, could arouse the mare, set her calling for her baby, and when the baby did not come there would begin that awful, tortured plunging about, that agonised threshing that Magnus had related.

Still Melisande cropped. Then came the roar as the big race began, a much louder roar this time than before, and Melisande flinched. She let out a beckoning whicker..

Paddy climbed on top of the fence.

‘I’m here, darling, no panic, your daughter won’t be long.’

Melisande backed, then began kicking the ground. Paddy slid off the fence and walked towards her.

‘You shouldn’t, you know, you should look after yourself, because I’ve been told you’re going to have another. After all, Quick As Lightning’s child was getting far too big to be mollycoddled like you mollycoddle. A boy this time, I think, to take Into the Light’s place. Now let me touch you, Melisande. There, that’s my good little mother.’

Melisande’s cream eyes were in Paddy’s direction. She was standing quite still. Paddy kept talking ... and talking ...

That was how Magnus found them. Although he knew it was vital he stepped in at once, he paused a moment and looked. Looked at the girl and the blind mare.

Then he went over and put a rope around Melisande and tethered her.

‘I don’t think you need have bothered,' Paddy objected. ‘I think she still has those antennae.'

‘No, she has love,' Magnus said.

They stopped there until the boys ... and the filly ... returned in triumph.

‘First! It was a romp.’ Richard laughed.

‘And you’ll be romping after I finish with you. I’m not asking who left Melisande unattended because I put the blame on all four.’

‘But Magnus, we
won
!’

‘What would a win have been if Melisande had mangled herself on a fence? If she’d done the same to Miss Travis who was misguided enough to interfere?’

It was not quite the same as his previous ‘No, she has love.’ Paddy, blind like the mare now, turned away.

The Plate had been run early. All at once Paddy knew a longing to run herself, run along a beach ... run back a year to last September. So uninvolved, so simple, so— dear. She could do it if she took the mountain track down to the coast.

The stud change room was empty, and she darted in and took some old overalls from the wall. Within minutes she had gone round to the stable and the mount that had previously been allocated to her. Ordinarily Paddy might have hesitated about descending alone— after all, she was still a newchum rider, but all she wanted, all she had to have was escape.

She was gone within minutes, and she was sure no one saw her. In ten minutes again she was taking the steep downward bridle track to the coast.

Remember
September. She kept on saying it to herself for comfort, for she never had felt more in need of comfort in all her life. Jerry would give it to her ... not really, of course, but she would think of him and the fun they had had and the good companionship.

She was on the flat now, and she gave Donna her head. When they reached Pelican she kept up the northern end, away from Magnus’s caretaker. She tethered Donna loosely to give her plenty of cropping, then turned to the wide expanse of beach.

A car was there, and for a moment Paddy paused, preparing herself to take off again. What was a car doing here ? Didn’t the driver know this was private property? That campers had to apply first?

In all this time Paddy had not recognised the car, and for quite a while after he got out, she did not recognise Magnus.

Then she did, and she went slowly forward. Magnus came as slowly forward to her. They stopped a few paces from each other. Because she could think of nothing else to say Paddy asked: ‘Why are you here?’

‘It happens to be my beach.’

‘Oh, yes, I know that.’ When he said nothing, she babbled more than spoke: ‘I should know, I’ve been told often enough, only always in the plural first, always “our” then a quick correction to "my”, my beach, my stud, my property, my possession. Of course I would know.’ She waited, but still no comment. ‘I really meant how did you know I was here?’

‘Blue dresses are not usually found on the floor of the strappers’ change room, so when they are, and a pair of cleaning overalls taken, it rather suggests that the owner of the dress has borrowed something more suitable for a ride.’

‘So you checked Donna and found she was missing?’

Magnus said, ‘I also checked for you and found you were missing as well.’

‘But why did you come here?’

‘Why did
you
? No, don’t search for some evasive answer, I know already. It was “Remember September”, wasn’t it? You came for comfort from Jeremy.’

‘Yes, I did,’ she said honestly. ‘I needed Jeremy.’

‘And have you found him ?’ His voice was harsh.

‘I’ve only just arrived.’

'Then do you think you’ll find him now?’

‘Not with you here, Mr David. Jerry would want your taunts and suspicions and dislikes as much as I’ve wanted them.’

‘But you fool, you utter little fool, there were never taunts, suspicions and dislikes, not really, there was only an awful futility, a terrible blankness.’

‘Because of your brother?’

‘No,’ he said, ‘because of you. Poor Jerry might have had a short life but at least it was a full one. I face a long life, possibly, but it’s empty.’

‘Empty, Magnus?’

‘Paddy, I was never young like my brother. I told you the family story, but not all. I was with my mother when she died, and her last words were for Jeremy. “Look after Jeremy.” If I’d been younger, then the burden wouldn’t have weighed so heavily on me—oh, a beloved burden, yes, but still my load. If I’d been older and wiser, I would have realised that my mother didn’t mean what I took her to mean.’

‘I think you mean
all your days,
Magnus?’

‘All my days, all my life, given to Jeremy.’

‘And now you resent that?’

‘No, never, but I do resent what Jeremy had and I never had
.
.. spring, laughter, a girl running beside him on a beach.’

‘So you took it out on that girl?’

‘Yes, I did. If I hadn’t taken it out on her, I would have taken her to my heart.’ He came a step closer. But that was all, one step, and he did not follow it up.

‘The moment I first saw you I knew how wrong I was,’ he said flatly, ‘but I also saw how young you were, a youngness I’d never known. It tore at me, I think it all but killed me. At no time when I read poor Jeremy’s letter leaving all his possessions to some girl did I really intend to deprive that girl, but there was a helpless anger in me that
I
had never known someone in my life, too, to feel that way, to act that way, so—so ’ He shrugged.

‘So you found who I was, where I was.’

‘And brought you here,’ he nodded. ‘I was going to hurt the girl ’

‘You succeeded,’ she assured him.

‘I was going to belittle her ’

‘You did.’

‘After which I was going to give her money and let her go.’

‘Well?’ Paddy waited.

‘Well?’ He waited, too.

‘Well, why didn’t you? Or is this the dismissal now?'

‘It’s up to you now. Do you want that money? Do you want out?’

‘I don’t want money and I love this place, but ’

‘Yes?’

‘But I can’t stay here, not with you.’

‘... Not even as Jerry’s brother?’

‘Especially as Jerry’s brother, because in all our companionship here, all Jerry’s friendships with me, and that in spite of what you think is all it was, you were always Jerry’s light, you were always Jerry’s ideal.’ Then Paddy quoted:

‘Maryrose: Remember September? Magnus.’ She repeated:
‘Magnus,’
then looked at him.

‘I’d forgotten that,’ Magnus said, and there was a catch in his voice. He turned away.

When he made no move to face her again, Paddy said gently, touched by his distress: ‘Anyway, all your days are not blank, Magnus—there’s Anthea. Oh, yes, I know she’s left, the boys told me, but she’ll be back again.’

‘No,’ he said definitely, ‘that would be the last straw. I only ever accepted her out of politeness, but that quality is not very strong in me, you know that, and it soon runs out.’

‘As she ran out?’ probed Paddy.

‘Yes.’

‘Ran after Kip ... or was if the other way round ?’

‘I think if you looked into things, which I don’t intend doing, you’d find that both of them have gone their separate paths. Norris would be no good to Anthea without money.’

‘You
had money,’ said Paddy.

‘But no appeal and no prospects—for her. She soon found that out. Good lord, I hardly knew her, and certainly never liked her. She used to visit her grandparents up here, and once when she came to Yoothamurra she met Norris. I suppose it started something. After all, as
you
know, he is good-looking.’

‘Was it Kip who—who ’

‘Caused
Into the Light’s death? Yes, yet no. Not at
any
time did Norris expect the mild depressant which was all he introduced to have such a disastrous result. That came about from an unfortunate individual tendency or allergy in the colt as regarded the drug he gave him. He did kill him in a way, I suppose, but intentionally, no.’

‘He’s gone, the boys said. Did you report him?’

‘Report him, yes, but charge him, no. You see, he had the decency to come forward—I believe he was almost as shocked as we were. He was planning a kill, but not a kill like that. No, no charge, his career was finished and that was punishment enough. Besides ’

‘Besides?’ asked Paddy.

‘He broke whatever it was between you and him before he went. How could I not feel less than anger then?’

‘I don’t think there was anything, Magnus, not really, and that key ’

‘Oh, yes, I know about the key now, know, too, your incredible naiveté. Who else,
who else
could have inspired such an advertisement: “Maryrose: Remember September ? Magnus.” ’

‘It was September, a September to be remembered.’

‘And now it’s a year after. A September to be remembered, too? Or’ ... quickly, a little savagely ... ‘is that only for the young? For the springtimers?’

‘I think you mean—a girl running beside someone on a beach.’

‘Yes, I mean that,’ Magnus said.

Paddy was thinking of Jerry. '... Race you to the buoy... last out of the water buys the lunch ...’

‘Race you to the rocks!’ she heard herself calling. ‘Last there ’

She never finished it. He had her in his arms and he was kissing her. Eyes, ears, hair, neck, throat.

‘I love you, Paddy.’

‘I love you, Magnus.'

‘I’ve only autumn to offer you ... then winter.’

'Then spring and the whole bit all over again, for it goes on and on, you know. But now it’s September ... a September to remember. Remember it, Magnus. Remember it now.’ She stood waiting for him.

Somewhere she could have vowed she heard Jerry applauding, saying: ‘My nice big brother and my nice old man, what more could I ask?’ Then Jerry’s dream voice was sliding away. The beach was sliding away. Everything was sliding away in Magnus’s tightening grasp.

When his lips pressed down on hers, Paddy knew it
would
be a September to be remembered. Not: ‘Maryrose: Remember September? Magnus’ but: ‘Magnus: Remember September? Paddy.’

She would write that out and insert it in a paper, then years ahead show it to her children, to her grandchildren, to his grandchildren. Theirs. She pushed closer to him and stopped there.