Unleashed (12 page)

SIXTEEN

On Friday, Ethan came over to Claire’s house to hang out before they met Logan at the school. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bag of chips and a jar of salsa. "So your parents are cool with you going tonight?"

Ethan shrugged. "They’re okay. You want some help?"

"No. I got it." She set the food on the coffee table in front of him. "Do you get along with them?"

"So-so." He stood up and motioned for her to sit down. "I'll get the drinks." He walked to the fridge and pulled out two sodas. "Do you get along with your mom?"

"Depends."

"On what?" He opened a can and handed it to her.

"How hard she's working. But that's what sucks. When she works all the time, she's cranky, but when she takes time off, like she did last week, then she starts thinking too much and goes all catatonic."

"Sounds rough.”

"I guess it could be worse. My dad could be out of prison." She froze as if the words had cut her tongue. How could she have slipped up like that? She hadn’t mentioned her father out loud in years.

She quickly stood up, blood rushing from her head, and moved toward the kitchen. She stumbled but caught herself on the kitchen counter.
Think of something else
, she thought over and over, trying to expel the image of her father from her mind.

On the counter was a small paring knife; her image reflected in its blade. She picked it up and squeezed, not enough to draw blood, but enough to force her mind to think of something else: biting pain.

“Claire?” Ethan stood up.

“So are you excited about tonight?” she said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. She turned her body slightly to the side where Ethan wouldn’t see the knife. Dad’s gone, she reminded herself. And he’s not coming back. With her free hand she touched her raven necklace.

When Ethan took a step toward her, she snuck the knife back onto the counter. “You want to go outside?” she said and moved past him to open the door, but Ethan stopped her and brought her to his chest.  He didn’t say anything. Just held her.

She choked on a sob and tried to keep from shaking by reminding herself how much she’s grown since then. Gotten stronger. After a few minutes, air moved freely into her lungs and her heartbeat slowed to match Ethan’s.

He smoothed the back of her head, then reached out to open the front door. “Do you want to ride a little before we go?”

Relaxed and fully calm, she said, “But you don’t have your bike.”

“I know, but you can ride. Maybe show me some more of your sweet moves.”

Claire laughed and walked outside. Everything was okay. Ethan was there. Her father wasn’t. She sat down on the porch steps, letting the sun warm her skin. Ethan sat down next to her.

"Are you cool having Logan come with us tonight?" she asked.

Ethan was silent for a few seconds before he said, "I know he likes you. More than a friend, but he hasn't pressed the issue, which is good."

"Why's that?"

"I'd hate to have to knock him out."

"You'd fight him?"

"If he hit on you? Hell yes. He knows we're together."

Claire nudged his shoulder. "You don't have to worry, you know, about me and him."

He looked at her. "I would understand if you had feelings for him. How could you not? He’s been your best friend for a long time and has been there for you through everything. But,” he glanced away, “if you ever feel like you need to act on those feelings, do me a favor and end things with me. And then give me time to get out of town."

Claire studied him for a minute as he stared into the distance. Right now he didn’t look strong, despite how he always made her feel. Maybe he was more fragile than she thought. She reached up and turned his face toward hers. "You’re not going anywhere." She dropped her gaze to his full lips.

Ethan noticed and did the same to hers. He raised his hand and gently touched her cheek, his thumb brushing across her parted lips. But he didn’t try to kiss her, which made Claire want him even more. She pressed her mouth to his, taking him off guard.

He kissed her back, moving his lips slowly, letting Claire decide the pace and intensity, which only grew. Her nerve endings became alive and she moaned. So this is what it was like to let go, to not think about anything but a single moment. She had never felt more free.

Just then her phone rang.  She pulled away and smiled, staring into Ethan’s eyes.

He grinned back. “Are you going to answer that?”

Still smiling, she took her phone out of her pocket. "It's Logan,” she said and answered it. "Hey. How's it going?"

"Good. Just want to make sure you guys are still coming." Logan’s voice sounded strained.

"Of course we'll be there, but it’s still early. You okay?"

The line was quiet for several seconds. Finally, he said, “I’m good. See you soon." He hung up before she could say anything else. She stared at the phone, puzzled.

"Everything cool?" Ethan asked.

She stuffed the phone back into her pocket. "I think so."

Thirty minutes later, they drove to the school parking lot. Logan was waiting against his car, looking anxious.

"What's up?" Claire asked him as they moved into his car.

"Nothing. Just want to get out of here," he said and started the car.

She glanced at him sideways. His hands were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, exposing white knuckles. Logan had probably had another fight with his parents. He used to talk to her about it, but lately he'd kept the battles to himself. A twinge of guilt ate at her. He clearly needed to talk to someone. She made a mental note to hang out with him next week like they used to do. Just the two of them.

A couple of hours later they arrived at the club. It was already dark even though it was only 7:30 p.m. A line of teenagers stretched around the outside of the tan stucco building and music blared from the windows. It was different than your typical club, but only because it allowed teenagers as young as seventeen in. They just had to wear a special wristband.

"Park down the alley next to the side door. By that red car,” Claire told Logan, pointing to Audrey’s car. "Looks like they’re already here."

"Cool. Maybe they'll have everything set up,” he said and parked the car. “What time do you guys go on?"

"Last I heard, nine." Claire opened her door and, with Ethan, followed Logan toward the side entrance. Logan opened the back door of the club and they walked into a dimly lit hallway. It was in the rear of the stage where all sorts of wires and cords crossed over the floor. She was about to make a joke about it, when a horrible smell accosted her nose.

"It reeks in here," Ethan said.

"Maybe because you're stepping in barf," a male employee said as he walked up, wheeling a bucket and mop.

Claire looked down. Sure enough the soles of their shoes were swimming in pink vomit. Each of them stepped out of the way.

"What happened?" she asked the employee.

"Someone from one of the bands got sick," he said, slopping the mop on top of the barf.

Claire’s heart raced. "It wasn't someone from Beautiful Demise was it?"

"I don't think so. Is that who you're with?"

The swirl of the soapy water into the chunky pink on the floor was making her stomach churn.  She nodded weakly.

“You might be going on early. I’d go check.”

"Sure, no problem. Which way is the band room?"

              "Down the hall, first door on the right," he said, never looking up. He seemed to be entirely too fascinated by the watery mess on the floor.

She motioned the boys forward. Logan covered his nose, but Ethan didn't seem bothered by the smell at all.

They walked down the long hall. The walls were painted black and seemed to swallow what little light there was. The dressing room, if you could call it that, had the same depressing decor. All black.

Two other bands were in the same large room. One of them kept to themselves, huddled in the corner, discussing the lyrics to their songs. The other band, three members total, sat across from Steph and Audrey. Kate was on one of their laps strumming her guitar.

Steph looked over and smiled. "You guys made it."

"Wouldn’t have missed it.”

"Did you hear we're going on early?" Kate said. The guy whose lap she was sitting on kissed her ear.

Claire frowned. "Then we better get practicing. Is everything unloaded? Do we need to set up?"

Audrey shifted her weight away from Kate, looking seriously uncomfortable. "Already done and by the stage," she said.

"Why do you keep yelling?" the guy next to her asked.

“Let’s practice over here,” Steph said, standing up and walking to the furthest empty corner.

For the next thirty minutes, Claire warmed up her voice by singing through each song while the others played along. Kate and Audrey strummed their guitars, the sound faint and distorted without the aid of an amplifier. Steph used the bottom of a couple of garbage cans to beat out a rhythm as her drum set was waiting off stage for the time they performed. Claire loved practicing like this. It reminded her of her childhood when they would all get together, barely twelve, and “play” for hours. They were terrible, but it was the only escape Claire had from her father’s abuse.

“I think we are as good as we’re going to get,” Kate said and set down her guitar. “Why don’t we take a break? We go on in twenty minutes anyway.”

“Fine by me,” Steph said.

Claire glanced over to Ethan and Logan sitting on the couch. Logan was typing something into his phone, and Ethan was reading a magazine. She was hoping she’d catch them speaking to each other, acting like friends. Ethan looked up just then and smiled.

“We’re finished,” she said to him. “You want to go dance for a bit?”

Logan set his phone down, looking anything but happy. “Shouldn’t you warm up your voice some more?”

“Nah, I’m good.” She took Ethan’s hand and pulled him forward. "We'll be back."

"Don't be late!" Kate called after them. Claire waved goodbye.

Instead of taking her to the dance floor, which wasn't crowded yet, Ethan guided her to the second floor balcony. There was no one up there, and the privacy made her feel like they were two birds, perched high in a tree, away from others who were dancing below.

Ethan pulled her close. As if on cue the music changed, a slower beat, deep and long, that vibrated her insides.

"If we get separated tonight, look for me up here," Ethan said. “I left my phone in the car.”

Claire barely heard him over the loud music. She nodded and rested her head against his chest, wondering for the thousandth time how they had ended up together. She smiled to herself, marveling at how unpredictable fate was.

As the minutes wore on, their private nest began to get crowded until both of them felt squished.

"Want to get out of here?" Ethan asked. He was practically shouting over the blaring guitar rift playing from the band on stage.

"Yeah. Let's go backstage. It's probably time anyway."

He grabbed her hand and led her down the metal circular staircase to the dance floor. This was harder than it appeared because several people had crowded onto the stairs, making it difficult for them to pass.

"It's packed out there," Claire said when she walked into the dressing room. The other bands were gone.

Steph had her drumsticks in hand, tapping them on a coffee table in front of her. "I know, right?"

"Where are Kate and Audrey?" Logan said. He looked like he was asleep with his eyes closed, chair tilted back against the wall, arms folded at his chest.

"They’re probably still watching Mike play backstage," Steph said.

Claire grimaced. "The guitar player out there? The one whose lap Kate was occupying?"

Steph nodded.

"How much longer?" Ethan asked. 

"We're next." Steph stood up. “Let’s go make sure everything is ready to set up. They only give us ten minutes between sets.”

Ethan turned to Claire. "I'm going to go so I can have time to squeeze to the front."

"And I'll help you guys get everything on stage," Logan said and stood up. He came over to Claire and surprisingly took her hands in his, despite the fact that Ethan was standing right next to her. “You’re going to do great, like always. Break a leg.” He held her gaze for just a moment, before letting go and walking by her.

Claire stared after him, her hands tingling where he’d been holding them. It was a sensation she had never felt with Logan before.

“That was weird,” Ethan said, his voice harder than usual.