Unlocking the Surgeon's Heart (8 page)

With that, she burst into tears.

Linc’s mouth twitched with a smile, but laughing at Emma’s worries wouldn’t allay his niece’s fears. Instead, he crouched down and hugged her.

“None of this is as bad as you think,” he consoled, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. “We’ll get the bottles and set them back on top of the dresser. No harm done.”

Emma sniffled.

“Were they big bottles or little ones?” he asked.

“Little. Mama gets the same ones when she’s sick.”

She must have knocked over prescription bottles.
“Okay. Give me two minutes and everything will be just like it was.”

“But she’ll know I came into her room without her permission,” she hiccupped, “and then I’ll be punished. So will Ria.”

The Labrador sat on her haunches next to the bed, her usual doggy smile absent, as if she recognized the gravity of the situation.

“You may get scolded, but Christy wouldn’t stop you from talking to your mom and dad.”

“You don’t think so?” Her watery blue-gray eyes stared into his. “What we did was wrong.”

“Yes, it was, but not allowing you to talk to your mom and dad would be mean, and deep down you know she isn’t mean.” He paused. “Am I right?”

She nodded and the worried wrinkle between her eyes lessened.

“I’ll move the dresser, we’ll find her things and put them back the way they were. Now, don’t cry. Okay?”

She swiped her nose and nodded. “Okay.”

Linc pivoted the dresser far enough to locate the missing prescription containers. After retrieving them, he moved the furniture so the legs matched the same carpet depressions as they had previously. Satisfied he’d hidden the evidence of the mishap, he placed the two he’d rescued at the end of the row of her other medications and neatly stacked the appointment cards.

Noticing that she’d positioned each bottle so the labels faced outward, he lined his in the same manner, half-surprised that someone as young and obviously healthy as Christy required so much medication. As he turned away, he caught one drug name out of the corner of his eye and his blood immediately ran cold.

Tamoxifen.

Although he didn’t prescribe it for his patients, he knew exactly what it was used for—the treatment of certain types of breast cancer.

The books on her shelf now made sense, as did the row of pill bottles and vitamins, her organic hormone-free milk, and the refrigerator full of fresh vegetables and low-fat dairy products.

It also made her guiding philosophy of life understandable. After battling cancer, there weren’t many other problems too big to face and definitely not many worth getting upset over.

But, oh, how he hated to think of what she’d gone through, both physically and emotionally.

“Unca Linc.” Emma tugged on his pants. “Are you done? We should go.”

“You’re right, we should.” He ushered her out of the room and closed the door firmly behind him, wishing he could block off his new-found knowledge as easily.

* * *

“There you two are,” Christy said with relief as she and Derek met Linc and Emma in the living room. “It’s almost time for Gail and Ty to call. Linc, can you power up the laptop?”

While he obeyed, she addressed the children. “Let me look at you and make sure you’re both presentable.”

She stood them side by side and cast a critical eye on them. The clean clothes they’d changed into an hour ago were still clean. Emma’s hair was neatly combed, but Derek’s definitely needed a bit of straightening. She couldn’t do it properly so she simply smoothed the unruly locks with her fingers.

“Gail and Ty aren’t expecting them to look their Sunday best,” Linc teased her. “They know these two. If they’re too neat, Gail will accuse us of replacing her kids with someone else’s.”

“I don’t want them to think we’re neglecting—”

“Trust me, they won’t. As long as they’re not bleeding, a little dirt and stray hair won’t faze Gail and Ty.” He pushed a few keys, then set the laptop on the coffee table in front of the youngest Maguires, who were bouncing with excitement on the sofa. “Here we go.”

At seven o’clock on the dot, thanks to a wireless internet connection and a webcam, Gail and Ty appeared on the computer screen and the conversation began.

Christy moved into the background and listened as the children talked about their recent activities and Gail mentioned a few of the sights they’d seen. She and Linc gave a short statement about how well things were going and eventually, after a promise for a follow-up call on Thursday and a tearful goodbye, he closed the connection.

“Can we do that again?” Emma asked.

“On Thursday,” Christy told her.

“I want to talk before then.”

Arranging a time to coordinate with school events, homework, dance lessons, and soccer practice had been tough, so everyone had agreed to plan their calls near the children’s bedtime. Unfortunately, with the seven-hour time difference, it meant Gail and Ty they had to call at three a.m. local time, which explained why they’d looked a little bleary-eyed.

“I know you do, but your mom and dad have to wake up in the middle of the night to talk to us. They can’t do that every day.”

“But I didn’t tell Mama about the caterpillar I saw and Daddy doesn’t know about my loose tooth.”

“I’ll help you email them,” Linc offered. “How does that sound?”

Emma frowned, her bottom lip quivering as if she wouldn’t need much encouragement to break into a wail.

He tugged on the little girl’s earlobe. “Did you lose your smile? You’d better find it quick because you’ll need it for school tomorrow. You don’t want your teacher calling me and saying that Emma Maguire is being grumpy today, do you?”

“No.”

“Good. Now, run and get ready for bed.” He glanced at Christy. “Whose turn is it tonight? The princess or the knight?”

“The princess,” Emma stated firmly. With Linc’s one, innocently phrased question, eagerness replaced her downcast expression.

Christy was impressed by the way he’d turned his niece’s ill-humor completely around. Was his success born out of experience or did he have an innate gift for handling children? Given his past, she suspected a combination of both were responsible.

“Okay, then. Off you go. The longer it takes you to get ready for bed, the shorter the story will be.”

The two dashed off and Christy felt Linc’s gaze. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing. I just wondered if you felt better now.”

“I’ve felt fine all evening,” she said, puzzled. “Why?”

“You were as fidgety as the kids. I assumed you were nervous.”

She sank onto the sofa, surprised he’d noticed. “I was. I wanted everything perfect so Gail wouldn’t worry about them or wonder if they’d made the right decision when they asked me,
us
, to watch them.”

“Trust me, she saw two happy, healthy kids who were coping with their parents’ absence quite well.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“I do.”

“Unca Linc!” Derek called from his bedroom. “We’re ready!”

Laughing, he rose. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, my fans await.”

For a few minutes Christy listened to Linc’s deep voice as he began his story. She couldn’t hear the words, but she heard the tone and it touched her in ways she hadn’t expected.

Idly, she wondered how Linc would deal with a diagnosis such as hers if delivered to
his
wife or girlfriend. Would he decide, as Jon had, that he hadn’t bought a ticket for that particular movie and wasn’t interested in doing so? Or would he see her through the entire process—the surgery, the chemo, more surgery, the endless waiting for test results?

She suspected he wouldn’t leave his significant other hanging in similar circumstances. A man who’d taken on the care of his younger siblings as well as his grandmother while barely in his twenties wouldn’t walk away from a woman he loved.

On the other hand, after taking on so many responsibilities at such a young age, he obviously wasn’t interested in tying himself down because he was in his late thirties and didn’t seem interested in changing his marital status. His career
was
both wife and mistress, so imagining him in Jon’s place was pointless.

Life was what it was and fate had given her a fellow whose love hadn’t been strong enough to face the challenges that had presented themselves. In hindsight, she was grateful to have discovered his character flaws before their relationship had become legal.

As for the future, self-preservation ruled the day. She wouldn’t allow any man to get close until she received her five-year all-clear report. Without that medical reassurance, it wouldn’t be fair to dump such a heavy burden on a guy. Waiting until then would also save her the trouble of dealing with heartache in addition to cancer, round two.

Aware of the hour, Christy tidied the living room, sent Ria outside for her last trip outdoors, then delivered her own share of goodnight hugs and kisses to Derek and Emma. For some reason, though, when they both turned away to leave Emma’s bedside, the little girl clung to Linc and whispered in his ear.

“You should tell her,” she heard him say.

“Please?” the little girl begged.

“Okay. I’ll do it, but next time you have to ’fess up yourself.”

“Thanks, Unca Linc.”

Curious about what Emma considered so terrible that her uncle had to divulge it on her behalf, Christy held her questions until she’d called in Ria and they were both relaxing on the living-room sofa with the television volume turned low.

“What couldn’t Emma tell me about?” she asked as she sipped on her cup of herbal tea.

“She went into your room today.”

Considering all of her medications, vitamins, and supplements, which might pique a child’s
curiosity, Christy panicked. “She didn’t swallow anything, did she? Ria didn’t eat—”

“No, nothing like that.”

She relaxed. “Good.”

“Apparently Emma has this horrible fear you’d be furious if you knew she went into your room. She believes she’s facing a fate worse than death and asked me to beg for mercy on her behalf.”

Christy smiled at Linc’s wry tone. “I told them I had things in my room that could make them or Ria sick, so it would be best if they didn’t go inside unless I gave them permission.” She didn’t intend to explain what those things were; she simply hoped Linc would accept her simplified explanation as the kids had.

“Emma understands that, which was why she was worried.”

“Out of curiosity, how did she end up there, anyway?”

“She and Ria were playing and somehow the two of them ended up in your room. In their exuberance, some of the bottles on your dresser rolled off. Nothing broke, so you shouldn’t worry about that.”

“Then no harm done, I’m sure,” she said lightly.

“The problem was,” he continued, “a few vials rolled behind and she couldn’t reach them.”

“Thanks for telling me. I would have wondered why some had disappeared. Before I go to bed I’ll—”

“The lost have been found. I put the vials on top of your dresser with the others.”

She swallowed hard. “You…did?” Then she plastered a wide smile on her face and pretended nonchalance. “How nice of you. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

At first, she believed she’d skated through that awkward moment with ease, but the compassion she saw on his face said otherwise. He might not ask questions—it would be rather forward of him to do so—but whether he did or didn’t, his eyes held a
knowing
look that hadn’t been present before.

Of the pills he’d retrieved, only one would have generated the curiosity and sympathy in his gaze—the one easily recognizable as a cancer treatment.

If she didn’t say a word, she sensed he’d drop the subject, but it seemed cowardly not to address the obvious. It would become the elephant in the room they both tried to ignore and she would analyze his every remark and every glance for a hidden meaning.

She could handle anything from him except pity.

No, she didn’t want that. Better to face the situation head-on.

“You know, don’t you?” she asked.

CHAPTER FIVE

Y
OU
know, don’t you?
Christy’s question echoed in Linc’s head and he paused to debate the merits of pretending ignorance. However easy it might seem in the moment, honesty had been and always would be the best policy.

Her eyes held resignation, as if she hated that her secret had been revealed, and he softened his own gaze. “I wasn’t being curious. I didn’t intend to read the label, it just happened.”

From the way Christy visibly hunched her shoulders in an effort to draw inside herself, Linc knew he’d thrown her off balance. He had plenty of questions, but there were times to speak and times to listen. At the moment, listening seemed to be the most appropriate course of action.

Had anyone else told him news of this sort, he would have reacted in a most clinical, detached manner. With Christy, however, his detachment had flown out the window.

Sensing her mental turmoil, he scooted closer to lend his comfort and encouragement. She stiffened in his one-armed hug as if she didn’t want to accept his support, but gradually the tension in her body eased.

Silence hung in the air as she continued to cradle her teacup, but Linc waited.

“You’re probably wondering why I never told you,” she began.

“Not really.” At her startled glance, he explained. “I’m not your physician or…”
He wanted to say
your lover
but caught himself. “Or more than a casual acquaintance, so I understand why you haven’t shared your personal issues with me. I assume Gail knows?”

“We hadn’t shared too many yoga classes before I told her. One doesn’t keep many secrets from the ladies at the gym,” she said wryly. “For the record, though, my having breast cancer doesn’t diminish my ability to look after Derek and Emma.”

“Of course not,” he answered quickly, to soothe her obvious fears that somehow he’d find her lacking. It also made sense as to why she’d been so worried about the children’s appearance for tonight’s internet call and had driven herself frantic to make everything perfect. She wanted to prove she could handle the job.

“Good, because for the time being I’m perfectly healthy.”

His mental cogs clicked together. “Then Emma wasn’t far off the mark, was she? The pet she’d heard you mention was a PET
scan
, not a four-legged animal.”

She nodded, a small smile curving her vulnerable mouth. “Yes. My five-year check-up is due a few days after Gail and Ty return, so you don’t have to worry about—”

He snagged onto the time frame she’d divulged. “Five years?”

“I was twenty-four when I was diagnosed, which gives me the dubious honor of being one of those rare young people who develop breast cancer. Mine was a particularly aggressive type, so I opted for a double mastectomy.”

Knowing what he did about the drug she was taking, her tumor had also been estrogen-receptor positive, which meant estrogen fueled the cancer. Tamoxifen would stop production of the hormone so the abnormal cells couldn’t multiply.

“Speaking from a medical standpoint, you made a wise decision.”

She shrugged. “It was the only one I
could
make. Because you’re curious, as are most men, all this…” she motioned to her chest “…is courtesy of a skilled plastic surgeon and reconstruction.”

Admittedly, he enjoyed seeing those curves and fantasizing about them, but he considered himself more of a leg man. Picturing her long legs and those miles of smooth skin wrapped around his waist was one strong image that would keep him awake at night. “I’m not most men.”

She grew thoughtful. “You’re not, are you?”

He wasn’t sure if she was paying him a compliment or not. “As for worrying about your ability to look after Derek and Emma, I’m not. I merely wanted to say that whatever you need to do, whenever you need to do it, we’ll handle the logistics.”

“Thanks, but for now I only need to swallow my pills, eat right, and take care of myself, which is what every other person on the planet should do.”

“True.” Thinking of his upcoming week, he leaned forward. “About the taking-care-of-yourself part, one of my colleagues is still on vacation. I won’t be able to pull my share of the load until next weekend so unfortunately you’ll have to carry the extra burden. After that, things should settle down considerably.”

In light of Christy’s revelation, he’d make sure he was available after that. Although he sensed she wouldn’t appreciate being treated as gently as if she were blown glass, he’d make a point to stay alert and step in whenever she needed extra help. Gail and Ty really had been smart to ask them to share parenting duties. They’d obviously foreseen areas of potential problems and had prepared for them. Now it was his turn to do the same.

“Thanks for the warning,” she said.

“Meanwhile, I don’t want you to physically do more than you should. You don’t have to be Super-Aunt. No one is holding you to an impossible standard, least of all me.”

He’d expected her to appreciate his support, but instead she bristled. “I’m quite capable of taking care of the kids, maintaining the house, and doing my job at the hospital. This is precisely why I don’t blurt out my history to everyone I meet. People tend to wrap me in cotton wool and treat me like an invalid, but I’m
not
.”

“Of course you aren’t,” he said, realizing she’d misinterpreted his intent. “I was trying to be considerate. That’s all. I don’t want you to be afraid I’ll complain if I come home and find dishes in the sink.”

Her hackles seemed to drop. “Sorry. I get a little defensive sometimes. It really bugs me when I’m told I can’t or shouldn’t do something because I had cancer.”

So many things now made sense, from her can-do, full-steam-ahead attitude to the myriad daring activities that most people would shun. “Offends your overdeveloped sense of independence, does it?”

Color rose in her face. “It does,” she admitted. “That’s why…”

When she stopped in midsentence, he filled in the blanks. “That’s why you go skydiving, white-water rafting, and all the other physically challenging hobbies you’re known for.”

Her eyes widened. “How did you know?”

“It was a logical assumption. Anyone trying to prove themselves usually chooses a task that most people wouldn’t dream of doing.”

“I haven’t done anything
that
bizarre or unusual,” she pointed out. “Lots of people go white-water rafting.”

“Sure, but skydiving?”

“Okay, so that’s not quite as popular, but my little excursions are my way to celebrate a good medical report. Some people reward themselves with chocolate. I work on my bucket list.”

He was relieved to know she wasn’t a thrill-seeker, as he’d thought; she was only working her way through a list of experiences. He instantly felt small for misjudging her motives.

“So what’s on tap for this year?” he asked. “Bungee-jumping? Swimming with sharks? Diving for sunken treasure?”

“My list consists of things I want to do before I kick the proverbial bucket, not the things that would kill me in the process,” she said wryly. “The first two you mentioned are definitely out, although…” she tapped her mouth with her forefinger “…the sunken treasure idea has possibilities, provided I find time to learn how to scuba dive.”

He chuckled. “I stand corrected. So what’s left?”

“A trip to Paris. Walking on a glacier. Yodeling in the Swiss Alps. Watching my nieces and nephews graduate from college. They’re younger than Derek and Emma—my sister has two boys and my brother has two girls and a boy. It’ll be a while until I can cross off that entry and I intend to be around until I do.”

He smiled at her determination and applauded her for it. “Do they live around here?”

“They live in the Seattle area near my mom. My family wasn’t happy when I moved to the Midwest, but they understood.”

He suspected she’d relocated as a way to assert her independence. However, it didn’t take much imagination to picture the resistance Christy had encountered when she’d announced her plans to leave the bosom of her family. He’d spent weeks trying to convince his own sister to accept the promotion her company had offered here in Levitt Springs, but she’d wanted to strike out on her own, too. He would have preferred having her only fifteen minutes away instead of ninety, but she had to live life on her terms, not his. In the grand scheme of things, however, she was relatively close and he could bridge the distance with a mere hop and a skip.

“Then your family was your support group?” he asked.

“I don’t think I would have kept going if not for them and my friends. They drove me to doctors’ appointments and chemo sessions when I couldn’t, loaded my refrigerator with chicken soup, and took me shopping at Victoria’s Secret when my reconstruction was completed. They were the greatest. Everyone should have support like I did.”

That explained the scrappy underwear he’d found. Unfortunately, being reminded of her lingerie made him wonder what color she was wearing today.

Yanking his mind off that dead-end track, he noticed one significant absence in her list of supportive people. “Assuming you had a boyfriend, where was he in all this?”

She let out a deep sigh of apparent resignation. As if recognizing her mistress’s inner turmoil, Ria padded to the sofa and rested her jaw on Christy’s knee. She scratched the dog’s ears and met his gaze. “He took off.”

He wasn’t surprised; he’d seen enough in his own practice to know that some people simply couldn’t handle illness, whether it was their own or their spouse’s, but the idea of leaving someone under those circumstances was beyond his ability to comprehend.

“What happened?”

“Jon seemed to accept my diagnosis through the talk of lumpectomies, chemotherapy, losing my hair, et cetera, until the word ‘mastectomy’ was mentioned. When ‘double’ was added to the table as the best course of action, even though he knew I planned to undergo reconstruction so I’d have my figure back by Christmas, he freaked out.”

“So he left.”

“Not immediately. The final straw came when he learned I’d need hormone suppression therapy for at least five years and my ovaries might or might not wake up and be ready to work. He wanted kids of his own, through the usual method and not through special medical means, so he wished me luck, kissed me goodbye, and I never saw or heard from him again.”

In his disgust Linc muttered an expletive that would have shocked the most hardened longshoreman.

She burst out laughing, clapping her hands over her mouth as her eyes twinkled the entire time. “My, my, Dr Maguire. I’d scold you for your language but those are my sentiments exactly.”

He grinned. “It’s nice to know we’re on the same page.” After a brief hesitation he spoke again. “He’s the reason you won’t date until your next scan, isn’t he?”

“I date,” she protested mildly. “Just not often and it’s never serious. I make that plain from the beginning.”

“Do you explain why?”

She looked at him with a measure of horror. “Of course not. Actually, that’s not quite true. I’d gone out with someone before I moved to Levitt Springs two years ago.”

Instinctively, he knew this story wouldn’t have a happy ending either, but knowledge was power and he wanted the facts so he knew exactly what demons she was fighting. “What happened?”

“Nothing. I shared everything I’ve told you—maybe not quite
everything
…” her smile was rueful “…but Anthony knew about my cancer and the surgeries. We had a wonderful evening.”

She paused and he sensed a “but” was coming.

“After he took me home, I never heard from him again,” she finished.

He cursed under his breath and she smiled. “It wasn’t that bad,” she told him. “We only went out once. When I realized he wouldn’t call, I was disappointed but not crushed. After that, I moved here and decided to keep my tale to myself. Some women tell everyone they meet about their cancer experience and I understand why they do. The more women realize it could happen to them—at any age—the better, but for me, I want people to see me for who I am, not for what I’ve gone through in the past or might in the future.”

“Aren’t you selling us short? You shouldn’t assume all men are as weak-willed and lacking in character as those two.”

“I know,” she admitted, “but I can’t take the risk. If a particular relationship is meant to be, it’ll happen at the right time, under my terms.”

He hated that she’d lumped all men in the same category, himself included. “When did Ria appear on the scene?”

“After Jon disappeared to find the new love of his life, my brother brought me a puppy. She was beautiful, happy, and loved the water, so I named her Ria. She also had the biggest paws, which made me afraid she was part horse, but in the end she was my best friend and was there whenever I needed a warm body to hold on to.”

Once again, he had an uncommon urge to hunt down this Jon character and do him bodily harm. As special as Ria was, Christy should have had a real person holding her during those dark days and nights. In fact, he wished he’d known her at the time because he couldn’t imagine leaving her. A person didn’t desert the one he loved.

Yet he was glad this guy had decamped, otherwise
he
might never have met her. The possibility of living the rest of his life without her waltzing into it drove the air out of his lungs like a fist to his solar plexus.

“Now you know my whole sordid tale,” she said lightly, “and why fundraising for the cancer center and the Relay for Life organization is important to me.”

“You could be the hospital’s poster child for the event,” he pointed out.

“I could, but I won’t. I’ll leave that to someone else.” She grinned. “I’m going to be too busy getting my dance partner up to speed for the competition.”

“Speaking of which, did you have to drag
me
into your plan?” he said in mock complaint.

“I did,” she stated innocently, although her eyes sparkled with humor. “You always walk into the unit so completely focused on nursing notes and lab reports that I decided you should get involved on a more personal level.”

“I’m involved,” he protested mildly. Being conscious of her fragrance and the softness of her skin, he could think of at least one other activity in which he’d like to involve himself. “I write a check and it comes out of my
personal
bank account.”