Unreap My Heart (The Reaper Series) (34 page)

“Put your back into it, Charlie,” Balthazar said over his shoulder. He dropped his gaze to Ben again. The urge to kick the bastard off the edge almost overwhelmed him. “We’ve got a Wraith in the making and a soul ready for the eating.”

The raft jerked forward like a motor had been switched on. Balthazar suppressed a grin. Charlie liked a leisurely ride to Haven, so it must be killing him to have to row faster. Charlie was made of residual energy, which meant having a Wraith on his raft pissed him off. Balthazar refused to glance back at Arianne. She continued to whimper on her side. So long as she stayed clear of the edge he wouldn’t have to move away from Ben. And right now—weird as it sounded—he felt safer with the Wraith-to-be than the sobbing girl.

In a quivering voice, Arianne said, “I’m dead?”

Balthazar swallowed. Ah, she sounded so pathetic, and yet his arms ached to pull her to him. He made tight fists instead and nodded without glancing her way. He kept his gaze on the water. If he looked ahead long enough, he wouldn’t have to watch her suffer the shock of realizing what being dead meant.

To humans the experience was far worse than for anyone else. They tended to be attached to things and to people. By now Arianne must be thinking of her family, friends, her cell phone. Whatever teenage girls like her thought about. He made it a point to stay away from inside her head. The chaos outside only reflected the turmoil inside. He’d rather choke than get a front row seat to the Arianne’s dead freak show playing in there.

The raft rocked, forcing him to glance at Arianne. She’d gotten up without care that she stood perilously close to the edge. Still sniffling, she turned in a circle like a dog chasing its tail. She searched for her thread. The length of it reached her knees, but he doubted she saw it through the flood of tears.

“Arianne, stop,” he said, exasperated. “You’ll be fine.”

She did stop. Her head whipped up, a champion glare on her puffy face. “I’ll be fine?” she asked dangerously. “I’ll be fine! What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

Balthazar opened his mouth to speak when Arianne launched herself at him. He leaned back and caught her. Her fists pounded against his chest. He barely felt the blows, but if her being angry stopped all the crying, then he’d rather have her hit him as many times as she wanted.

“I’m dead! I’m dead!” she repeated over and over again. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I just told you.”

Wrong answer because Arianne went from enraged to manic. Her eyes widened the second the thought hit her.

“Tomas said he could fix it.” She stepped away from Balthazar’s arms and stared at her hands. “He said if my thread broke, I had to get back to the Crossroads. He’d fix it. He told me before we left.” She lifted her crazy gaze at Balthazar. “You have to take me back.”

He knew he’d be digging his grave deeper, but he had to say it. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Balthazar didn’t think Arianne’s eyes could get any wider than they did that second. Her chin quivered, and he cursed.

Instead of tears, Arianne growled. She launched herself at Balthazar again, kicking and screaming. He barely managed to keep his balance on the rocking raft. Red water sloshed dangerously around them.

“Take me back!” she shouted at the top of her lungs. “You have to take me back. Tomas has to fix this.”

“I can’t!” he screamed, matching her volume with his own. “We have to get Ben to Haven.” He shook her, and Arianne stopped struggling. She glared up at him. “Ben’s turning into a Wraith. If we don’t get him to the Redeemer, he’ll spend the rest of his existence consuming souls. Is that what you want?”

“I’ll turn into a Wraith too if you don’t bring me back,” she answered with so much venom.

“Really? That’s what you’re going with?” Balthazar hated taking the high road, but if it meant ending this madness then he sucked up his pride. “Your best friend is turning into one of the most dangerous creatures in the Underverse. Are you really willing to leave him behind?”

Arianne’s pupils practically consumed all of the blue in her eyes. She’d gone over the edge.

“Take me back to the Crossroads,” she said slowly. “I’m not turning into a Wraith, Balthazar.”

He moved one of his hands to her wrist and lifted her hand up so she could stare into the weakly pulsing ring. “You see this?” He shook her again. “Look at it,” he threatened.

Arianne stared at the gem on the ring.

“If I bring you back, the knife will suck out the last of Death’s powers and all this would be for nothing.” He growled until she returned her gaze at him. “So you don’t care about your best friend. I’m fine with that. I have a bigger stake in all this than you do. I’m taking the Redeemer back to the Crossroads. Whether you’re coming with me or not is entirely up to you.” Balthazar dropped her wrist and returned his hand to her arm like the other one that continued to hold her in place. If she stumbled and fell into the water now, they’d be in bigger shit.

“You selfish jackass!” She kicked out, nailing him on the thigh. Balthazar swiveled so her next kick wouldn’t hit more precious body parts.

“I
am
selfish!” he said through the pain climbing up his thigh, “Bad guy here, remember? D’s challenge is all that matters to me. So excuse me if I don’t feel like taking you back to the Crossroads when I’m so close to getting the Redeemer.” And just because, he added, “What happened to I’m doing this for love? Huh?”

“I hate you!” she screamed. “I hate you so much!”

“You can say it all you want. Doesn’t change anything.”

“Take me back! Take me back! Take me back!”

It became a mantra followed by punches and kicks, with some clawing too. Balthazar widened his stance to accommodate her thrashing body better. In his periphery he could make out the shore, and beyond, the mighty rock columns of Haven. The greenery growing on the columns stood out vividly even at a distance. White-winged angels and Heavenly Hosts flew from peak to peak. Almost there. Zakariel would meet them at the shoreline and take them directly to the Redeemer. Balthazar licked his bottom lip. So close.

Arianne’s crazy-fueled struggling pushed Balthazar to the limits of his patience. He raised his hand and slapped her across the face, sending her stumbling until she fell flat on the raft’s floor. She rolled onto her side, clutching her already reddening cheek. Balthazar bit the inside of his own cheek, thankful he hadn’t hit her hard enough to draw blood. She had to shut up, and hitting her was the only way he could think of that didn’t involve kissing her into silence. Anyway, the insanity had stopped. Now she just glared up at him, her crystal blue eyes filled with hate.

“Yeah,” he spat out. “I’m not afraid of hitting a girl to get her to shut up.”

“Asshole.”

It was the first real curse word he’d ever heard come from Arianne’s lips, and somehow Balthazar didn’t like the sound of it. He pushed aside his growing scruples and sneered at her.

“Been called worse. Hate me. You do that. Life’s a bitch and then you die.” He grinned. “The sooner you get that, little girl, the easier it will be for all of us.”

Arianne dropped her gaze and curled her body into the smallest ball she could manage. Balthazar’s heart spasmed. What he didn’t add? He’d rather she hated him than she hate herself when she realized she would leave her best friend to become a Wraith just so she could save herself. In all that crazy, Arianne was still Arianne. Balthazar knew that. He’d been a bad guy most of his life. But Arianne? In the time they’d spent together, he knew she didn’t have a mean bone in her body. In her right mind, she wouldn’t freak out about dying. The torn thread could be fixed if they made it back to the Crossroads. In fact, she had little to worry about. But she was only human.

Balthazar snorted. The girl who had the stones to bargain with Death still lived in her. Right now, she was locked up because of all the pain from realizing she’d died. Only Arianne could get herself out of the mire she’d found herself in. Keep Ben away from her. That was what he had to do. Comforting her wasn’t part of the job description.

After he was sure Ben stayed unconscious and Arianne moved from crying to staring out into space in an almost catatonic state, Balthazar took his watchful gaze away from them. The shoreline grew bigger and bigger the closer they got. Balthazar calculated what he had to do to get the Redeemer out of Haven. The Heavenly Host now landing at the shoreline wouldn’t make it easy. Zakariel was sworn to protect Haven, and the Redeemer by extension.

Chapter 38

HAR

I
N
T
HE
D
AYS
A
FTER
Carrie’s burial, Arianne had lived in a constant daze. She breathed in and out, yes, but smelled nothing. She opened and closed her eyes, but really saw nothing. She chewed her food, but didn’t taste a single bite. It was a feeling of loss so deep, she couldn’t feel anything at all. That same numbness enveloped her now as she lay curled up on the damp raft floor. The tears had stopped. Thank God. Tears did nothing for her. The gentle rocking of the raft didn’t comfort her like it had done before everything exploded in her face.

Speaking of face…she inched her hand up and touched the place Balthazar had slapped. Her skin still remembered the feel of his rough hand, leaving heat and sting behind. The throbbing had subsided some, but not before it had done its job of bringing Arianne back from the pit of insanity she’d fallen into the second Balthazar told her the thread connecting her to her body had been cut.

Arianne Wilson was dead.

Well, technically her body had died. Tomas said he could fix it. But it didn’t change anything. She’d still died.

She sniffed the last of the snot left over from her latest crying jag. It got embarrassing. How many times had Balthazar witnessed her break down? She’d lost count. It didn’t matter anymore. Even hope left her cold now. She’d taken too many emotional hits. Each blow left her exhausted. Her battleship had been sunk.

Normally, she didn’t advocate men hitting women. She should have condemned Balthazar for laying a hand on her. But she couldn’t deny that what he did gave her clarity. Head clear of all the crazy, guilt ate at her. She’d been willing to sacrifice Ben to save herself. She’d cry again if she had any tears left.

All this time she had convinced herself she needed to find the Redeemer so she could help Niko, but in truth she went on this trip so she wouldn’t lose him. She’d accused Balthazar of being selfish when at the end of the day she’d been the most selfish one of all. Balthazar said she didn’t know Niko well enough to truly love him.

Maybe he’d been right all along.

Maybe she did this not because of love. Maybe she did this because she wanted the boy who she thought she loved back so she wouldn’t be alone anymore. She’d lost so many people in her life already. She wasn’t willing to lose Niko on top of everything else.

But what if she did lose him?

Would it be that bad?

The question scared Arianne. To even consider losing Niko sent a nasty shiver down her back. Had she been doing all of this for the right reasons? She twisted so her forehead touched the wood of the raft. Then she thumped her head several times, causing a dull ache to form at the center of her forehead. It chased away some of the numbness, clearing her mind even more.

Then something else Tomas had said pushed away the rest of Arianne’s self-imposed pity party. Her eyes widened, and she sat up slowly. The shore of Haven inched closer and closer with each rowing motion of the ferryman. On the crystalline sand stood Zakariel. He’d be escorting them to the Redeemer.

Balthazar stood by Ben’s body the whole time. He’d been keeping her safe all along. Hate him or not, Balthazar had always done right by her—no matter how twisted some of his methods might have been. He had to know what she’d just realized. He had to know they wouldn’t be able to bring the Redeemer with them back to the Crossroads.

Because she’d been careless.

Arianne’s heart lodged itself in her throat. She fisted her hands until her knuckles lost all the blood circulating in them. She forced herself to speak around the beating of her heart. Nothing came out at first.

She cleared her dry throat and tried again.

“Balthazar.” His name came out as a whisper.

“What?” He said it like a curse. She winced. After the insanity she’d showed him, she deserved his attitude. If he was pissed now, she could just imagine how he’d feel after she told him what she had to say.

No way around it but forward, so Arianne said, “Tomas said I’ll be able to recognize the Redeemer because I’m still attached to my body.”

There, she’d said it. She’d put the truth out there.

Balthazar remained quiet. Quiet enough for Arianne to look up at him. Instead of the rage she expected, his expression stayed blank. Arianne bowed her head, hopelessness coating the numbness that enveloped her. She’d failed Balthazar. She’d failed herself. She’d failed them all. The one thing they counted on her to do and she couldn’t anymore because of a freakin’ piece of string.

Just as she felt sick to her stomach, Balthazar said, “I know.”