Unstitched (8 page)

My hand slid down my belly and dipped between my thighs. I found my clit, wound as tight as a spring, and circled, fervent and determined, until I gasped and had to lean back against the cool tiled wall for balance. God damn, I had it bad for him.

I dressed in my pyjamas, brushed my teeth and climbed into bed. I was about to turn off my lamp when Roslyn crawled in beside me.

‘Lucas gone home, has he?’ she asked.

‘He left about half an hour ago.’

‘Things obviously improved since our chat this afternoon?’

I sighed dreamily. ‘Yep.’

‘I didn’t even realise it was Lucas when I saw you both. I assumed you’d gone out and picked up some sexy random and brought him home.’

I looked at her through narrowed eyes. ‘Come on, Ros. When have I ever done that?’

‘I thought you might’ve enjoyed your taste with Leith the other week and thought you’d get yourself some more.’

I had to laugh at that. Roslyn could be so obscene.

She bent her arms under her head. ‘He is soooo gorgeous, Anthy. Like over-the-top kind-of unbelievable gorgeousness. His skin, his cheekbones… Great job finding a guy like that.’

I smirked. ‘He is gorgeous, isn’t he? Did you notice his eyes?’

Roslyn nodded. ‘How could I not? You guys were really full on when I interrupted.’

I peered up at the ceiling, my centre clenching from the memory. ‘Yeah. I know. He’s just so…’ I couldn’t find a word that wasn’t quite as absolute as
perfect
.

‘Did you guys end up finishing what I so rudely interrupted?’

I rolled my eyes. ‘No, we didn’t. He said he wants to take it a little slower.’ I turned to face Roslyn to catch her response.

Her eyes widened and she rolled onto her side, propping her head up with her hand. ‘He wants to take it slower?’

I laughed. ‘Yeah.’

‘Wow. What did you say?’

‘I agreed.’

‘Of course you did.’ She clicked her tongue. ‘Well, you got to taste the devil last week and now it looks like you get to sample a saint.’

I bit my bottom lip, grinning with half my mouth. ‘He didn’t
feel
too saintly to me.’

‘Anthea Lewis,’ Roslyn said in her best authoritative voice. ‘That’s even naughty by my standards.’

I laughed loudly, then covered my mouth with my palm to quiet the noise. ‘I know. But it’s true.’

Roslyn sighed. ‘Hey, Anthy?’

‘Yeah?’

‘What do you think Brendt’s issue was earlier?’

My stomach tensed, pushing acid to my throat. I had my suspicions, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to broach the subject with Roslyn, at least until I was sure we were on the same page.

‘I’m not sure,’ I said.

‘I don’t want to say this, but I think Brendt might have feelings for you.’

I groaned and shoved a pillow over my face. I didn’t want to admit that Brendt had feelings for me, even after our near-kiss moment and his overprotective behaviour tonight. ‘You really think so?’

‘Yes, I do. I’ve thought it for a while, but tonight it was just so obvious.’

I removed the pillow and looked at Roslyn. ‘What do you mean, you’ve thought it for a while?’

Roslyn lowered her voice, barely above a whisper. ‘I’ve been noticing things.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like the way he looks at you when we’re all talking. Or, if we’re sitting around watching the T.V., I’ve seen him staring at you.’

‘That could be coincidence.’

‘Could be. But, after tonight, I think I’m right.’

My stomach was bubbling, my chest tight. ‘Rachel can’t see anything untoward, can she?’

Roslyn shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. She hasn’t said anything.’

I groaned again. ‘What do I do about this? Should I talk to Brendt?’

‘No. What if I’m wrong? It’ll blow up in our faces and hurt Rachel in the process. I think the best thing is to ignore it. You’ve met Lucas now, so Brendt may have no choice but to back off.’

I sighed. ‘You might be right. If he’s nursing any ridiculous kind of crush then he’s going to have to get over it. Fast.’

Anthea

The intercom buzzed.

Dust motes danced in the air as I ran through the silent apartment, cast in early morning honeyed light. My stomach was twisting, blood tingling through my veins. I took a deep breath, inviting calm, and said into the intercom, ‘Hello.’

‘Hi, Anthy?’

‘Lucas?’

‘Who?’

‘Sorry. Who may I ask is speaking?’

‘It’s Leith.’

‘What are you doing here?’

‘I rang you at work, but they told me you were on holidays, so I thought I’d come over. Can I come up?’

‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’

‘You’re still angry with me?’ His tone was sombre.

‘No. It’s just that…well…’

‘I miss you, Anthy. So much.’

I fumbled through my emotions, trying to latch onto some rational reaction like anger or resentment, but I couldn’t find anything. Even after what he had done to me. All I could seem to find was empathy. ‘Leith?’

‘Yes.’

‘You can come up for a short while.’

I took a seat on the lounge. The elevator doors opened and Leith stepped out. The bruises under his eyes had faded, however, the self-pity and anguish still lingered in his hangdog expression.

‘Hi, Anthy.’ Tentative.

‘Hi.’

He wiped his palms on his jeans and sat on the lounge next to me. So much had changed since I saw him those few short days ago. I no longer bristled when I thought about how he had deceived, used, and embarrassed me by making a video of us in my most vulnerable and private of moments. In reflection, though, I was also kind of thankful that our relationship did come to an abrupt end, because if it hadn’t, Lucas may have passed alongside me like a ghost if I was still wound up thinking I was madly in lust with Leith. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t stir up any more anger.

‘I’m sure I’m the last person you expected to see today.’ He lowered his eyes to the soft leather lounge. ‘Like I said, Anthy, I miss you.’

‘I find that a little hard to believe.’

He sighed. ‘I didn’t show you how I felt. Not when it counted, anyway, and not in the right way.’ He shifted across the couch, closer to me. ‘You look really good, Anthy.’

‘Thank you,’ I whispered, doubt and mistrust thick in my tone. ‘I’m sorry, Leith, but what are you doing here?’

He drew in a deep, strained breath and ran his hands through his blond strands. ‘I was wondering if we could give it another try.’

My eyes shot open wider and I felt a laugh bursting from my chest, but I tensed my mouth into a long, tight line. ‘You want to give it another go? After what you did?’

‘I know. Some nerve, hey?’ he said, with a bashful smile.

I couldn’t talk. So I sat there, eyes locked with Leith’s. He edged closer again and took my hand in his.

‘I love you, Anthy. I want to be with you. I made a mistake, a really big, stupid mistake, and I’m sorry. You know that I’m sorry.’

‘You…I — love me?’ I whispered, conscious of him touching me, wanting to pull my hand away, but unable to do it.

‘Yes. And I know that sounds absurd, especially after what I did. But I do love you. I didn’t realise before. I was taking you for granted, wound up in that stupid bet and I didn’t realise how much I actually do feel for you.’

I shook my head, scrubbed my hand over my face. He was in love with me? Surely he was joking, or had another bet going — two grand if he could make the silly fool take him back. I laughed. ‘I may have fallen for your antics once, but I’m certainly not stupid enough to fall for them twice.’

He frowned, shoulders drooping. ‘This isn’t a joke. I’m not trying to deceive you. I may’ve initially had the intention of being with you for the sake of a bet, but things changed.’

‘You’re serious, aren’t you?’

He nodded, eyes pleading. ‘I haven’t felt like this about anyone before. I love you.’

The intercom buzzed. I pulled my hand away and stood, smoothing my hair down. I took a deep, sharp breath and ran to the speaker.

‘Hello.’ Anxiety clung to each syllable.

‘Hi. Anthy? It’s Lucas.’

‘Lucas?’ My voice was high-pitched. ‘How are you?’ I glanced back at Leith, who was looking at me dolefully, and turned back to the intercom.

‘Anthy, are you all right?’

‘Fine. Fine. Just fine,’ I said quickly.

‘Have I got you at a bad time? I can come back later.’

‘No. No. Don’t be silly. Come on up. I have a, um…
visitor
.’

‘Oh,’ he said.

‘I’ll buzz you up.’

Silence. ‘Sure.’

I spun back to face Leith. He had stood, his arms crossed over his chest. ‘You’ve met someone else?’

I couldn’t lie, so I nodded slowly.

‘That was quick. Does he know about me?’

‘Not really.’

He breathed in deeply. ‘Is it serious?’

‘It’s new.’

An eyebrow arched and then fell swiftly back into place. ‘Right. I’ll go then.’

I nodded. ‘I’ll give you a call later and we’ll finish this conversation properly.’

‘Is there hope?’

The elevator doors flung open and we both turned towards the foyer where Lucas stood, unassuming in a pair of ripped jeans and white V-neck ribbed jumper. He was showing no particular expression on his face, but I could see a slight glimmer of something
in his eyes, irritation perhaps — no, mild hostility seemed more accurate. It was nothing Leith would be able to detect, but I could see it because I knew how his eyes looked without it.

‘Well, is there?’ said Leith

I shook my head. There was no way, after a betrayal like that, and after meeting someone like Lucas, that we’d ever have a chance again.

‘Then don’t bother!’ He stormed past me and Lucas to the foyer and into the elevator. The doors shut and he was gone.

I stood there silent, my throat so tight, my chest aching.
What the hell was going on with my life at the moment?

‘Is everything all right, Anthy?’

I nodded, attempted a smile, but tears betrayed me.

‘That was an ex-boyfriend, I assume?’

Again I nodded.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Do I want to talk about it?
Or did I want to push Leith to the back of my mind, label the experience as “bad”, and never think about him again?

‘Or I can leave, if you want that?’ he asked.

‘No,’ I said quickly. ‘Don’t leave. But I think I need to tell you what’s going on.’

I sat on the lounge, rubbed the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger. It soothed the slight headache forming behind my eyes. Lucas sat beside me, elbows on knees, hands clasped together.

‘Leith and I were together for a short while. But in that time he managed to hurt and humiliate me so much that, without question, our relationship ended. Abruptly.’

‘He’s the one that looks hurt,’ said Lucas. Not an accusation, but an observation.

‘He is hurt. He came over to see if we could get back together and to tell me that he…’ I took a breath and whispered, ‘loves me.’

‘And then I showed up.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Do you love him?’

I looked into his eyes. ‘No.’

‘So why the tears?’

I shrugged.
Good question.
‘Sympathy? I feel sorry for people, even when someone else would think I’m ridiculous for doing so. Like that awful guy Reese, who you saved me from at the fundraiser. And for Leith, even though he’s not a nice person at all. I can’t help it. I think it’s because I understand what it’s like to be lonely, or to want something you can’t have. But most of all, I know how much it hurts to not be with the one you love. I don’t want to be responsible for someone feeling like that. Ever.’

The expression on Lucas’s face — grief, pity, guilt — I didn’t know what exactly, had the power to completely undo me. He looked away and stared down at the floor. We were silent until I stood and quickly wiped at my eyes with my palms.

‘I’ll understand if you want to leave.’

Lucas found my face again, the emotions I thought I saw were no longer there. ‘I don’t want to leave. If you say it’s over between you and him, then I believe you.’ He smiled smugly as he stood and took my hand in his. ‘I can’t blame the poor guy for not wanting to let you go. Although, he’ll have to realise his efforts are too little, too late. I’ve found you now and I won’t be that willing to give you up.’

His words inflated me. ‘I wouldn’t want you to give me up.’

I stared into his eyes, now alight with pleasure. He stepped closer, wrapping me in his body heat. His face edged towards mine and my heart fluttered, body silently screaming at me to kiss him. But just as I could taste his scent on my tongue, he shook his head, straightened, and rolled his shoulders back.

‘So how is your head this morning?’ he asked.

What the…?
I wanted to grab him by the scruff of that amazing jumper and drag his lips down to mine. And then I remembered why he hesitated — our “take-it-easy” agreement.
Damn, stupid agreement.

‘A little sore,’ I eventually answered.

‘Not the best way to end our first date.’

‘No, especially after it was going so well.’

He grinned. ‘So you enjoyed yourself?’

‘Yes. Every part of it. Except for the kitchen incident — the head banging part that is — the kissing part was fantastic.’

He laughed. ‘So how would you feel about a second date? Today?’

I opened my mouth, tried to speak, but flapped around like a fish instead. Finally I managed, ‘I’d like that.’

Lucas

Mooloolaba, a beachside town an hour out from Brisbane, burnished by sand, salt and endless sunshine. Today was an especially warm winter day — one ragged white cloud hung in the cornflower blue sky.

I parked outside a little side-street takeaway and bought a paper bag of fish and chips. I clasped Anthea’s hand and we walked to the esplanade — one side was boutique shops and restaurants, the other was blond sand and the blue-green Pacific Ocean.

We sat, shoulders touching, at a timber table on the faded beige boardwalk. The view was all the way up the beach. A few tourists dared to swim and surfers flocked around the modest waves. The air caressed our faces and ran salty fingers through our hair.