Until I Die Again [On The Way To Heaven] (Soul Change Novel) (17 page)

His eyes clouded with something she couldn’t identify: a memory, perhaps, or temptation as he dropped his gaze to her lips. He let go of her chin and trailed a finger down the expanse of her throat. She swallowed, feeling the warmth from his fingertips spread to her entire upper region. He stopped at her collarbone, and that cloudiness in his eyes cleared to brittleness.

“Invest your feminine wiles in someone who will pay off with better odds.”

He turned around and walked toward the car. All she could do was watch him disappear into the darkness. And nothing had ever hurt so badly. Not when her first boyfriend, Greg, had left for college in Texas, not when he had returned the following summer with his new fiancée. Not when Alan had moved away from her every time she tried to get closer or tried to know him better. Nothing left the empty ache Jamie did when he walked away. What hurt even more was the fact that he thought
she
had inflicted those wounds on his heart.

His words still echoed in her heart. The way he’d called her girl, the raw hurt she had heard in that one word. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing they were his arms instead. It took her a few minutes before she could pull herself from that spot and head for the car. Where he waited for her. And where, for the ride home, not another word was said.

Hallie woke up early the next morning and headed to the pool. Jamie had not fought his demons in a midnight swim, so she guessed he would be out there for his regular morning workout. Her heart started racing when she heard splashing as she stepped out onto the terrace. She flew down the stairs, glad for the chance to catch her breath before he saw her there.

He rose up against the wall, flinging water out of his hair. The turbulent glacial waters of the night before were replaced by the peaceful calm of early morning sky. She stretched out by the edge of the pool, letting herself get the tiniest bit hopeful about what had happened between them last night.

“Good morning,” she said cheerily.

“Hallie, I need to talk to you.”

“I’m right here.”

“I’m going back to Caterina.”

Her heart dropped. “Who’s Caterina?”

She detected the slightest smile in his face, quickly replaced by the serious look again. “Caterina’s not a who, it’s a what. It’s where w—I live. Where we used to live. It’s the resort my brother and I own. It takes up about half of the Isle of Constantine, just east of Jamaica.”

She couldn’t keep the surprise from her face. “That’s home? An island?”

“Not really home for you. You were never happy there. I should have seen that a lot sooner than I did.”

“I thought home, whenever it was mentioned, was someplace near here, maybe somewhere else in California. Never would I have imagined an island.” She laughed, trying to cover her embarrassment. “I thought it was some woman.”

He wasn’t laughing. “You need to decide where you want to go. I’ll help you pack and move there. Of course, you’re welcome to stay here if you want, but I figured we could find you an apartment of your own. I’ll buy it for you as part of the divorce settlement. You have the checkbook; use it until we get the accounts rearranged. What’s wrong?”

The weight of what he was saying finally sunk in. This was it. He was leaving.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving. Now.”

“Hallie, come on. You’re fine, perfectly healthy. You don’t need me anymore. I’ll help you get settled in a new life. We both need to move on.”

“I don’t want you to buy me an apartment. Just leave if that’s what you want to do. Leave.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“What do you care? Your husbandly duty is done. I don’t want anything from you. I’ll take care of myself.”

“What are you going to do for money?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I might have to use a little of your money to get started. But I’ll pay every penny of it back.”

“Fine.”

She calmed her panic at losing him, and the tenuous link to someone she cared about
 
in this new life. The former Hallie had inured him against dramatics. “I want to come with you.”

“To Santa Caterina?”

“Yes. Take me with you.”

He was already shaking his head. “It won’t work, and you know it. You can take care of the divorce proceedings and send the paperwork to me.”

She let out a shaky breath. “What did you tell me when I first asked you for a divorce? You said you stayed for a lot of reasons that didn’t matter, then you agreed it was for the best. What was your argument before you gave in?”

He pulled himself out of the pool, standing on the edge. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You were the one who wanted the divorce. I want it, too. Let’s end this marriage better than we handled the middle of it. Peacefully, amicably.” Water sluiced down his body, glistening in the sunlight. Damn him for looking like a shining demigod when she wanted to throttle him.

She stood up to face him. “You don’t want a divorce, Jamie DiBarto, and you know it. You didn’t want it then. Why would you want it now?”

He leaned closer to her, and she could smell mint toothpaste. “Because it’s over. It has been over for a long time, but no one bothered to tell me. Now I can see that, and I’m ready to bury the horse.”

She gritted her teeth. “The horse isn’t dead yet!”

“Yes, it is.” He started walking toward the house.

“You’re a liar!” she yelled at his back.

He turned around and walked back to stand in front of her, his eyes blazing a brilliant blue. “
You
have a lot of room to talk about lying.” He emphasized each word with a tap on her chest with his forefinger, nudging her just enough to send her backwards into the pool with a scream.

She surged to the surface. “Jamie DiBarto, you’re a skunk!”

“And like a skunk, the farther away from you, the better, right? Right.” He grabbed a towel and headed up the stairway. “We’ll talk more when you’ve cooled off.”

She pulled herself out of the water and onto the deck. He had likened their marriage to a horse. A dead horse! She glanced upward.
Hallie, if I ever get my hands on you…

She pulled herself up and headed inside. The way she saw it, she had two options. She was going to employ one of them now.

Jamie answered warily when she knocked on his bedroom door. The sight of his suitcase made her heartbeat quicken.

“Hallie, I don’t want to argue.”

She smiled. “I didn’t come here to argue. I don’t want you to leave on the aftermath of an argument.”

His expression softened. “I don’t either. I’m sorry.”

She stepped forward, looking right up into his eyes. His shoulders tensed a little when she placed her hands on them. They were wide and firm, and she had an errant thought about how nice he must be to dance with.

“I’m sorry, too. For everything. Will you try to forgive me? Someday?”

He nodded. “I’ll try.”

“Will you do me two favors?”

“Maybe.”

“First, when you think about me, and I hope you will, try to remember me the way I am now, not the way I was before.”

“That’s a tall order, but I’ll try. And the other favor?”

“Give me a goodbye kiss.”

The convincing she thought would be necessary wasn’t. He leaned down without hesitation and kissed her on the lips, lingering with a gentle touch. She was instantly lost. Dizziness, pulsing heartbeat, the works. When he moved back, she had to pull herself together. The thought of never feeling like that again haunted her already.

She forced a smile. “We should have done that more often…” She turned to leave.

“Hallie?”

She stopped but didn’t fully turn back to face him. “Yes.” It came out as a whisper.

“Take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, sure. You, too.”

The next morning, Hallie watched from the balcony as Jamie and Theresa drove off in the Cadillac to the airport. And she smiled. Because she could tell that he still loved Hallie, as much as it made him angry to realize that. Oh yes, she was making him realize it.

Was it the “new” Hallie he was weakening to, or just his old desires for the first one? She pushed the question aside, not willing to deal with it just yet. She was going to bring his icy heart to life again. How could she lose? She was on a mission from God. If that mission took her to some island resort to teach the man a lesson in love, then she would consider it her duty. She was about to employ option number two.

She headed downstairs and out to the garage after locating the nearest travel agency. When she started to open the Porsche’s car door, a hand stopped her. But the voice chilled her more.

“Hallie, where are you going?”

She turned but already knew who would be standing there. Mick.
Does he know what I’ve done?

“It’s none of your business.”

His grip tightened, and she wondered if Solomon was within hearing distance.

“But it is my business, Hallie. You are my business, my life. Why haven’t you called me?”

“I—I haven’t felt well,” she lied.

“Well enough to go to health clubs, go to the beach and to operas, but not well enough to call me. Is that it?”

He’d been spying on her. The thought shivered through her. “What have you been doing, spying on me? Mick, you’re hurting me. Let go.”

He smiled his eyes glittery. “I love it when you say my name. Say it again.”

She glared at him. “Mick, let me go!”

He didn’t loosen his grip. “You don’t realize how much you mean to me. How I long to hold you, caress you.”

When his grip turned into a caress, she pulled back. “Go away.”

His eyes became slits of dark anger. “Hallie, you know how crazy I get when I don’t see you. When I think you’re seeing someone else.”

“I’m a married woman. Can’t you understand that?”

His brown eyes blazed with anger. “No, I can’t. What I do understand is that you made a commitment to me. And what I understand perfectly is that you’re a woman who has in her possession a very expensive gemstone, and that I have someone waiting to buy it so that we can be very rich together. I didn’t come up with this idea just for you to enjoy the money with that man you call your husband.”

He obviously hadn’t heard yet that Dave had his gem back. Lucky for her. “Mick, please understand something. I don’t want it, I don’t want the money. I just want you to leave me alone.”

He smiled again, reaching a hand out to touch her shoulder. “You’re afraid of getting caught, aren’t you? We talked about all that, sweetheart. If you think they’re on to us, we’ll get Jazz to put on some of that Hollywood makeup of his and disguise us. No one will ever realize who we are. I’ve got phony passports ready to go if necessary. But darling, we have to get going right away. Now.”

She moved away from him, agitation creeping into her voice. “Stop calling me darling. Leave me alone or I’ll scream for help.”

His upper lip twitched, causing his mustache to flicker. “You’re planning to stay with him, aren’t you? I saw you the other night, watching him swim. You were standing there watching him… wanting him.”

Her eyes widened as she realized her paranoid visions of Mick lurking in the shadows had been true. He had been watching her a great deal. Her hand tightened on the car door handle, but she knew she couldn’t move fast enough to get in the car and lock it before he moved in on her.

“He’s my husband,” she stated without emotion. “If I look at him with wanting, it’s my business.”

He moved closer, pulling her hair back at the same time as he crushed her against his body. “It is my business, you bitch!
You
are my business, because you belong to me.” Then his mouth began kissing down her cheek. “I’ve held your body next to mine, naked and sweaty in the moonlight. I’ve made love to you a thousand times. How can you turn your back on me like this?”

She cringed and tried to push him and his words away. “Can’t you see that I’m a different person now, not the Hallie you used to know? I don’t know that Hallie, and I don’t know you. All I know is that I’m married, and I’m in love with my husband. I don’t care about the gem or the money it will bring, I just want to try to get my life together.”

The sound of a lawnmower was moving closer. He took her chin in his hand and squeezed hard. “Don’t you understand? You don’t have a choice. You will be mine, Hallie. And I will do anything to get you and the Manderlay back.”

He left her then, a shaking blob of fright and anger. She slipped into the car and locked the doors, pulling out and speeding down the driveway. All she wanted to do was get out of there… and get to Jamie.

The travel agent found a lovely resort for Hallie to relax and chase away her tensions. It was called Santa Caterina, located on the Isle of Constantine. Caterina was a sprawling resort that catered to its guests, and had a reputation for cleanliness, friendliness and a profound lack of stuffiness. Of course, it had one other valuable asset that the agent failed to point out: its enigmatic and debonair owner, James DiBarto.

Returning to Theresa’s home washed away the warm, sunny feeling that had befallen her since her decision to go to Caterina. The mansion lacked the interesting feel it had when she knew Jamie was there. Still, one more night, and she was flying to the kind of place she’d only seen in magazines and travel brochures.

Hallie carefully scanned the area surrounding the garage, looking for signs of the maniac. Everything seemed quiet, and soon she forgot about Mick and thought of that night she and Jamie had gone to the laser show. They had walked along this very route, from the garage to the front doors, and she had hit him with a pillow. He must think her some kind of schizo, changing from a selfish, uncontrolled woman with her hand in the nookie jar to a woman who liked to lie on floors and watch laser shows, who remembered nothing of her shady past, and who would try just about anything to save her destroyed marriage. A marriage she herself had taken an axe to. She could understand his reluctance to include her in his life again. She would overcome it.

When she opened the front door, she felt like an outsider, someone who didn’t belong. After all, Jamie was the only reason she was here, and now he was gone. Left was a bitter mother-in-law and an angry servant. She longed to have Theresa’s friendship and motherly advice, but that wouldn’t happen for a long time. If ever.