Until My Heart Stops Beating (20 page)

              After taking a hot bubble bath, Makeba crawled under the covers fighting back her tears. She missed him so much her body ached. Turning on her side in a fetal position is how she laid until she fell asleep.

              Soft hands touched her body. Strong masculine arms enveloped her. The feeling of a warm moist body pressed up against her stirred her insides. At first, she thought she was dreaming. Suddenly realizing what she was feeling was real, she jumped up screaming, swinging so vigorously at the man next to her that she fell off the bed. Finding humor in her reaction, he chortled, almost falling on the floor himself.

              Looking up with eyes filled with fury she said, “Declan?”

              Hurrying to her side, he helped her up off the floor. “Yes.”

              Playfully she punched him. “There’s nothing funny. You scared the crap out of me.”

              “I’m sorry honey. I didn’t want to wake you.”

              She side-eyed him while getting back into bed. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home early?”

              “I wanted to surprise you.” He kissed her softly on the lips pulling her closer to him. “Gosh, I missed you. I love you so much Makeba Jones.”

              He looked down
at her as a tear rolled down his chest. He wasn’t crying, she was. There were no words needed for him to understand the reason for them. He was already aware of it but what could he do about it. He was a businessman, building a new hotel from the ground up. The project required frequent travelling between New Jersey and Chicago. He empathized with her because he was wrestling with the same emotions. It wasn’t easy to be
apart from her. He told her so on several occasions. There were many nights when he felt the need to jump in his car and hurry home to her but he couldn’t. She was too far away. Tonight was one of those nights which was why he decided at
the last minute to catch a flight home to be by her side.

              The sun peeked through the window as a chill brushed across her skin. The air in the room had a little bite to it. Shivering, she moved closer to Declan to get some body heat. Feeling the chill on her skin, he got up, walked over to the thermostat and set it to 73 degrees. He returned to bed pulling her back into the warmth of his arms.

              Makeba shifted the moment she felt warm liquid ooze down her legs. In no time her whole bottom was wet. She patted the area around her with her hand. It was soaked. Scared to look and see what had her hands saturated, she laid there immobile for a few seconds. Slowly raising her hands, stopping only when they met her eyes, she began to yell in terror. It was blood, her blood. Almost unbearable cramping began as tears streamed down her cheeks.

              Startled by the sudden screams, Declan jumped up falling out of bed onto the floor. Frowning, he glanced down at his side, it was red and wet. He looked at her then down at her bloody hand. Pulling the covers back revealed something that sent him into shock preventing him from speaking. Never had he seen so much blood. Hysteria set in. Somewhere between her screams and his frenzy, he was able to compose himself enough snatch the phone off the dresser and dial 911 as his hands trembled uncontrollably. He did everything in his power to comfort her but it wasn’t working. She was frightened of the unknown. Something was happening and she had no idea what it was. From the looks of things she was hemorrhaging, and feeling like her insides were detaching itself from the rest of her body.

              After informing the 911 dispatcher of everything that was happening to her, Declan picked her up and carried her to the shower and began washing her up, feeling helpless because he could do nothing to help ease the pain. She appeared to be in so much pain. A thousand thoughts went through his mind. What was happening to her? What if he hadn’t come home in the wee hours of the night? What if it’s something serious? Was he losing her? Why was it so much blood? All of those questions went unanswered. The longer he had to bear witness to what was taking place the more fearful he became. His eyes filled with tears but he quickly wiped them away with his arm, his face turned beet red as mucus escaped his nostrils, words of comfort that escaped his lips were barely audible.

              After washing her up and drying her off, Declan retrieved a sanitary napkin from under the sink handing it to her while he ran to get clean underwear and a night shirt from her drawer. He returned
to the bathroom and assisted her with putting on her clothes then helped her as she sat on the closed toilet. Suddenly, feeling sticky and wet, Declan quickly removed his pajama bottoms and began wiping himself off with a
washcloth he got from the cabinet in the bathroom. There was no
time to take a shower
because the sirens could be heard from the distance signaling the ambulance was only a couple of blocks away. Quickly, he threw on a pair of sweats, a t-shirt and a pair of sneakers then hurried to the door to open it for them to come in when they arrived. Returning to the bathroom, he helped her up and carefully escorted her to the living room. At that time the paramedics were walking through the door. With no time to waste, they put her on a gurney and whisked her off to the hospital. Declan was right there never leaving her side as he provided answers to the questions the EMS workers asked in reference to her medical history and what actually transpired before he called for help.

              Writhing in pain, Makeba held on tight to Declan’s hand as she was being wheeled inside the emergency room. Emergency personnel swung into action
the moment she arrived. Questions were asked, vitals were taken and blood was drawn for tests. Unfortunately, Declan had to be asked to step outside her room while they worked on her. In the meantime, another barrage of rapid fire questions was being asked by a nurse who was jotting down his answers. He was furious. Everything was so repetitive. He had been asked the same things by three to four different people.  As difficult as it was he remained polite. Whatever information they could retrieve from him was vital in her treatment.

              After a while an emergency room nurse approached Declan informing him that he could join Makeba. He made a quick dash to where another nurse was receding the curtains. He became emotional again but fought to hold it together. She was already scared, an emotional wreck and he didn’t want her to see him fall apart. It would only increase her fear and frustration. Slowly approaching her bedside, he took her hand in his and kissed her on the forehead. He inquired as to whether or not they had an idea what was going on. Turning her head away from him, she bawled. Before he could ask her anything else the emergency room doctor walked introducing himself as Dr. Corey Walker. He informed them that the pregnancy hormone, human chorionic gonadotropin also known as (hCG) was present and that the levels along with the ultrasound confirmed that she was approximately five weeks pregnant. This was news to her. She had no idea she was with child. Yes, her period was late, but it was so irregular and had been since she was a young girl. It wasn’t unusual for it to be off by a few days, a week even.

      Sighing, Makeba looked at Declan who appeared confused by what the doctor was saying. Dr. Walker also noticed his expression and realized he needed to help both of them understand what was happening to her body. They listened intently as he went on to explain that she was miscarrying and since it was so early in her pregnancy there was nothing they could do but let nature take its course. This was disheartening news to both of them. He went on to say there was nothing she had done or could have done to prevent it and that this was just one of those things that happens sometimes during the first trimester. With assurance, he went on to explain that most of the time, miscarriage is a one-time occurrence and there was no reason for them to assume she could not get pregnant again without experiencing complications. That brought some comfort to them. He also added that she would be able to go home soon. Because it was happening so early in the pregnancy hospitalization was not necessary. They thanked him, then he left.

              Silence filled the space between them as they waited for nature to take its course. Their minds were flooded with questions and thoughts of what life would have been like if this hadn't happened to them. While waiting she began to experience intense cramping. Laying back on the bed, she eyed Declan. Tightening the grip on her hand, he watched as she grimaced from the pain.

              “Call the nurse. Something is happening.”

              He hurried to the nurse's station asking them to attend to her immediate need. Dr. Walker returned along with a nurse in tow. They insisted that Declan wait outside while they examined her. The examination confirmed what the doctor had already suspected. Pregnancy tissue had been passed and she was now shedding the uterine lining. Nature was taking its course. Once the process was done, they cleaned her up and had her sit in the bedside chair, while house-keeping removed the bed linens. Not long after, she was assisted  back into the bed. Because her underwear and nightshirt was destroyed by the blood, she was dressed in two hospital gowns when Declan was allowed to re-enter the room, one covering the front of her as the other covered her back.

              “Did you call my mom?”

              He hadn’t. He was so worried about her that it slipped his mind to call anyone. Feeling even worse than he had before, he removed his phone from his pocket and called Mr. Jones. Makeba reached for the phone and began giving her mom the details on what had transpired. Her mother was horrified but she assured her that she was doing well and was being discharged. After promising she’d call later, she ended the call handing the phone back to Declan.

              In her pain and all her agony, she still felt the need to comfort him. Hurt was written all over his face. Reaching her hand out to him, she pulled him closer to her. He leaned down to her level. With both arms she held him tight as she whispered how much she loved him. Her actions broke him down. All this time he was able to hold it together for her sake but here she was comforting him now. She was the one who needed to be held and whispered loving words in her ears. He bawled as he tightened his grip on her. It was such a profound moment for the both of them. A deepening love, a stronger connection, a oneness like no other could be felt.

              “Ahem.”

              Reluctantly, they ended their embrace but the magical feeling remained as they continued to hold hands while listening to the follow up instructions the nurse gave her on caring
for herself. It was also recommended that she set up an appointment with her OBGYN the following week. Makeba accepted the discharge papers and thanked the nurse as she turned to leave. 

              Declan called the car service to request transport. He couldn’t wait to get her home and in bed. Taking care of her was his job and that’s exactly what he intended to do.

              Thank God for plastic mattress covers, he thought as he stripped the bed of the soiled sheets stuffing them inside a plastic garbage bag. He prepared a bucket of sudsy bleach water and scrubbed down the mattress cover allowing it to air dry. This wasn’t easy for him but he’d rather take on the daunting task than have Makeba do it although she fought him tooth and nail. It took some
convincing but she finally conceded and laid comfortably on the sofa until she fell asleep. Declan looked in on her before taking the trash out. Her appearance was a far cry from where she had been a couple of hours ago. He had to admit he was scared shitless. What would he have done if anything were to happen to her? Life without the love of his life was unimaginable. He cringed at the thought of ever losing her. He shook off the onset of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him as he walked out closing the door behind him.

              Smiling, he glanced at her laying in the same position he’d left her before proceeding outside. Moseying over to the sofa, he lifted her head as he took a seat. Very carefully, he lowered her head upon his lap. Resting his head against the back of the sofa, he closed his eyes as a thousand thoughts went through his mind. Silently, he prayed for peace from the mental beat-down he was taking even if only for a few hours. Eventually he drifted off to sleep.

              Shifting his body to a more comfortable position, his eyes sprung open upon the absence of weight and heat that was no longer on his lap. Makeba was gone. Glancing down at his watch he realized it was an hour later. The aroma in the air let him know that she was preparing something in the kitchen. He jumped up from the sofa and hurried to the kitchen. Just as he thought, she was standing over the stove cooking. He was livid.

              “What are you doing?”

              “Cooking.” She never looked back to acknowledge him.

              “If you were hungry we could have ordered out.”

              “I felt like cooking Declan,” she responded.

              He closed the gap between them by taking her hands into his. Quickly, she pulled them away, still not bothering to look at him.

              Leaning against the counter with his arms folded and his feet crossed, he eyed her. “What’s wrong?”

              “Nothing.”

              “Clearly something is bothering you. You just went through a terrible ordeal yet you’re in here cooking as if nothing happened. Something is definitely wrong.”

              “I’m fine.”