Unwanted (48 page)

Tragic, thought Fredrika.

Alex thought the same.

But neither of them put it into words, simply letting it hang there in the air.

In the resulting silence, Alex again tried to ask the question he needed answering.

‘And what about you, Fredrika? Are you going to stay on here with us?’

Fredrika drew herself up and looked Alex straight in the eye.

‘Yes,’ she said with composure. ‘I am.’

Alex smiled at her.

‘I’m glad,’ he said honestly.

More mutual agreement that didn’t need words. Fredrika briefly considered whether this was the time to say that although she wanted to stay with Alex, certain things would have to change. Certain things to do with his assessment of her competence, and how her background was valued. The media had drawn attention to her involvement in the case, which had turned a spotlight on tensions between police and civilian personnel in the force. Fredrika had refused no fewer than two invitations to take part in discussion programmes. But she felt no urge whatsoever to give vent to her personal opinions on television.

Fredrika decided the issue could wait. It was Alex’s first day back at work since the fire; it didn’t feel right to force him into such a major discussion.

And anyway, there was another question she wanted to take up with him.

‘I’ve got to tell you that I shall be on parental leave from the end of April next year.’

Alex gave a start. Fredrika had to bite her bottom lip to stop herself bursting out laughing.

‘Parental leave?’ Alex repeated in amazement.

‘I’m going to be a mother,’ said Fredrika, feeling her cheeks glow with pride.

‘Congratulations!’ Alex said automatically.

He studied her.

‘It doesn’t show yet,’ he blurted out before he could stop himself.

Fredrika simply smiled, leaving Alex free to put his foot in it a second time.

‘Is there going to be a shotgun wedding?’

It was Fredrika’s turn to flinch, and Alex made a defensive gesture with his damaged hands to show he took the comment back. Fredrika found herself giggling, entirely involuntarily. Shotgun wedding. What a phrase.

I owe him this one, thought Fredrika, and answered the question.

‘No, I’m afraid not. The father’s already married, you see.’

Alex stared at Fredrika with a foolish grin, waiting for her to take back what she had just said. But she didn’t.

Alex turned to look out of the window instead.

It’ll do me good to get away to South America, he thought.

This is my first book and therefore the longest list of thanks I shall probably ever write.

This book would have been impossible to write if I had not already spent twenty years amusing myself writing endless tales and stories. You have to start somewhere, after all. And for me that was when I wrote my first so-called storybooks at school, at the age of seven. I owe a great debt of gratitude to the amazing teachers in primary and lower secondary school who taught me at an early stage to love reading and writing, and then didn’t stop encouraging me to write more when they saw how much I was enjoying it:
Kristina Göransson
,
Kristina Permer
and
Olle Holmberg
.

I have no idea where the idea for this book first came from. It was like all my other ideas: one day it was just there, begging to be turned into a story. It was August 2007 and I had eight days of holiday left. By January 2008 the first draft was finished. It was an emotional moment. I had never seen a book project through before. There are several reasons why it was different this time, and I want to thank my writer colleague
Staffan Malmberg
for one of them. His words ‘
You just have to get past page 90 when you’re writing! Then you’ll be able to go on as long as you want!
’ helped convince me that not all my stories had to end up in the desk drawer as fragments of novels.

The book is a detective novel, and entirely the product of my own imagination. At least as far as the plot is concerned. I have been employed in a police organization since the autumn of 2005. That doesn’t make me into a fully trained police officer, though I have learnt a lot in those years. So I must thank
Sven-Åke
and
Patrik
who made useful and amusing comments on my manuscript, drawing on their own extensive police experience, and also taught me what I needed to know about the sharp end of detection. Both of you, in your different ways, make a great contribution to the Swedish police force. Any mistakes (or conscious departures from standard police procedure) that remain are entirely my own.

The act of writing, contrary to what one might think, is actually a relatively small part of the job of producing a finished book. I write very quickly. But everything else happens at a much slower speed. Every author realizes sooner or later that Stephen King, genius that he is, was right when he wrote: ‘To write is human. To edit is divine.’ Editing is something with which one almost always needs help. Help is what I have had, and of the most superb calibre.

First of all: A huge thank you to my publisher Piratförlaget and its amazing staff, who had faith in me and decided to publish my book. The very first time I came through the door into your offices, I knew I was going to be happy there. Particular thanks go to
Sofia Brattselius Thunfors
and
Anna Hirvi Sigurdsson.
Sofia introduced me to the world of publishing with great enthusiasm and patience and guided me through the process that leads up to the actual publication of a book, as well as making sound, constructive comments on my manuscript. Anna, with incredible feeling for the written word and a firm grip on her magic pen, was a real rock in the editing of the text.

Thanks also to my peerless sister-in-law
Caroline Ohlsson
, who not only asked me to be godmother to her firstborn daughter Thelma but also, in spite of being in the advanced stages of pregnancy, took the time to read and comment on my very first draft, which at that stage was in a fairly wretched state.

Many thanks to
Helena Carrick
, who read the book at a later stage and contributed vital views and comments. A terrific reader, a sharp-eyed critic and most of all a wonderful friend. It is a real gift to have such an inspiring, energizing person on hand.

And finally
Sofia Ekholm
, who has not only shown uncompromising and unbounded loyalty, but who also rose to every occasion and made me believe by her words and actions that this really is something I can do, and do
well
. You are part of this book in many respects, and there is so much that would be a lot less fun without you.

Thank you.