Upside Down (11 page)

“Do you see why that clause would
come handy, if properly worded? For both of us?”

I shook my head still unable to find my voice.

“For you, on one hand, because you would be able to relax and enjoy it more knowing I wouldn’t sue you for sexual harassment. And I would be at ease knowing you wouldn’t sue me for the exact same thing when I finally fucked you.”

So many words clashed inside my head that none found its way to my mouth. I stayed there tongue-tied
, looking stupid, as she turned to leave. When she was about to open the door, she paused and looked back.

“If I were you, I’d talk to my lawyer because it
won’t take long till I get what I want. And don’t be naïve. I always get what I want.”

I stared at the closed door for what seemed like an eternity. My body was still trembling. My
mind was still boggled. All of a sudden, I shook my head to snap out of that trance-like state, pushed the button and called Mark.

“Get us a room at
the Marriott and meet me there in ten minutes.”

I didn’t wait for his reply, got up and left. His text came when I was on the sidewalk.

“All set.”

I couldn’t wait to feel Mark’s hard and strong body
rubbing against mine, invading me, filling me up. I needed to remind myself of who I really was. Even if I had no clear idea of who I really was anymore.

That night, I got home pretty late, around
nine and went straight to the shower. I was dying to wash off my body those disturbing sensations Cindy had aroused. Unfortunately, if fucking Mark hadn’t helped, no amount of water would be able to do that. I gave up trying and turned the shower off. I was toweling myself when the phone rang. I ran to the bedroom to get it thinking it might be Dave. I needed to talk to him or I’d go crazy. He usually called me around ten.

“Hello!”

There was no answer on the other side of the line, only sniffling. When I was about to hang up, I heard my mother’s voice.

“Hello, Carol. You’ve been avoiding my calls.”

“You think?”

“Listen, I know you’re u
pset and I understand why. I can only say I’m sorry.”

“No need for that, mom. I don’t care anymore.”

“Please, don’t say that. I know it’s not true.”

“What do you know about me? You’ve always been a stranger to me,” I said it because I knew it would hurt her although it didn’t give any satisfaction to hear her sob.

“There are so many things you don’t know, sweetie, so much we need to talk.”

“Too late for that, too. You
and dad had many chances along all those years. You didn’t care to take any of them. Guess what? I don’t care to hear them now.”

My mother
sighed and I thought she was going to hang up but she had one last card to play. One of her favorites, by the way.

“You’ll understand
how miserable I’m feeling when you have your own kids.”

“
Newsflash, mom. Thanks to you and dad, I don’t want to have any kids. Why would I screw up somebody’s life the way you did mine?”

This time she hung up before I did.

* * * *

Two weeks flew by during which time Cindy ignored me completely. She didn’t seem in a hurry to fulfill that threat. I hadn’t talked to my lawyer about the non-disclosure clause but I did call Dave in London.

“Oh, Dave, what do I do?”

“You are in a tight spot, mon cher. I can’t tell you what to do.”

“Thank
s for nothing.”

“Hey, don’t blame me. I’m blameless. I’m
a mere bystander. Can I be a bystander if I don’t actually witness anything?”

“Damn it, Dave? Are you drunk?”

“Sorry, Carol. I was sleeping when you called and I think I’ve dozed off during the conversation. Either that or I’m still sleeping, and this is just a weird dream.”

“Go back to sleep. We’ll talk
again some other time. Thanks for listening, even if it were only your subconscious doing it.”

The truth was that I knew exactly what she was doing
to me because I had done it thousands of times to others. It was the typical predator behavior. Cornering the unsuspicious victim first, then, playing with them. Maybe even ignoring them so they would have a false sense of safety until the predator decided enough was enough. The fatal attack would happen when the victim least expected. Knowing all that didn’t make me feel any better, though, because I knew I too had always gotten what I wanted. Predators were called that for an excellent reason.

If Cindy had decided to ignore me
in the flesh, the same was not true for her dream version. She would sneak up on me even when Mark was in bed with me. There was no escaping, no shield to protect me from those dreams. And the sensual dreams were getting more graphic, more explicit and now I remembered them in details once I woke up. Many would linger during the whole day.

One Thursday morning, after a particularly explicit, adults-only kind of dream, I woke up screaming. I sat up on the bed and noticed my bedclothes were drenched. I suspected they were soaked with more than only my sweat but I preferred not to be sure. I took them off the bed and put clean ones on.
I took a shower but the feelings remained in my mind – of being overpowered, vulnerable and helpless. Other sensations remained on my body, too– being touched rudely, being slapped around and being forcefully penetrated. That last one was the most difficult for me to deal with. I had never been raped but that has always been my worst nightmare. Why did I keep relating Cindy to that kind of situation? Well, any shrink would have told me that, in dreams, we associate our fears to people and events from our day-to-day reality. In dreams where we are in danger, or in extremely uncomfortable situations, we tend to see those we perceive as threats in real life as responsible for the dangers in the dream. Bingo! However, I couldn’t find a good explanation for the fact that I seemed to like those dangerous situations from my dreams.

On that Thursday, for instance, the mixed feelings of
revulsion and excitement, fear and thrill, the dream had created in the early hours haunted me throughout the day. So much so that by four in the afternoon I was mentally exhausted but my body was in high gear. My heart was thumping and adrenaline rushed through my veins. I needed to find an outlet for all that energy. Mark had taken the day off to meet with his lawyer to prepare for the drunk truck driver’s trial. Therefore, my favorite way to let off steam was off the table. I turned to my second favorite – working out at the gym.

I had
finished most of the more urgent work so I managed to head down to the gym for a training session with my Krav Maga instructor. When I got there, I found out he was sick so I decided to take a Zumba class. It had been a while since I last had had time for those classes and they were fun; full of lively music, interesting people and sexy choreographies.

Cindy
was the first person I saw when I entered the room. I nodded in reply to her waving hand. Then, I gritted my teeth and walked to the spot the instructor had signaled me to take up since it was the only one left in the room: right behind Cindy. She smiled at me before turning back to the instructor to follow her leads.

“This is going to be bad for me.”

The next sixty minutes were the worst in my life. The fast and slow rhythmic movements of the exercises combined with the Latin dance steps the instructor had thrown in the mix made my knees weak and got me breathless. But, not from the effort. No! I felt dizzy because my eyes glued to Cindy’s body and refused to move away. They followed her as she shimmied, swayed and shook her buttocks, thighs and breasts around. I must have looked so stupid ogling her like that. I glanced around the room, nobody seemed to care and everybody was having a great time. I felt better but angry at myself for being so obvious. I didn’t have the courage to look at her face to see if Cindy had noticed my ridiculous behavior. I had a sinking feeling she had but I don’t want to be sure.

I le
ft the room a little before the class finished and went up to my office to take a shower in my private bathroom, like I always did. I wasn’t comfortable at the gym’s locker room. I used to tell myself that the employees would be self-conscious having the boss around at shower time but the truth was I’d never liked being naked in public.

I turn
ed the shower on and checked the temperature. I needed a colder shower today. I took off my sweaty clothes and tossed them on the floor before stepping under the powerful jet of water to cool down after that indecently sensual Zumba class. I had to pull myself together. The cold water running down my body, making it tingle ended up reminding me of very soft, very female hands caressing my skin. A hot, wicked mouth licking my flesh. A naughty, slick tongue invading my most secret parts. I slammed my open hand on the cold tile of the wall, splashing water and muttering.

“
Caroline Anne Sullivan, get a grip on yourself, right now!”

“
When people call me by my full name I know I’m in trouble.”

I jump
ed out of my skin at the sound of a throaty voice close to my ear. Only then did I notice my hand was on my groin and I had been playing with myself. I couldn’t have been more mortified. Right? Wrong! I turned around to meet Cindy’s sarcastic grin.

“
Having fun, are you? Mind if I join in?”

Before I c
ould articulate an answer, Cindy’s hands grabbed my butt cheeks and pulled me against her naked body. She molded herself to me - soft flesh connected to soft skin. The water made our bodies slick and she slid her dangerous curves all over my now fevered body. She captured my mouth, stole my ability to think straight and muffled my groans with her thick, pink tongue.

I
remembered the first time she had kissed me all too well and I knew Cindy played it rough, exactly like me. So, I wasn’t surprised when she pushed my back against the tiled wall, invaded my thighs with her luscious one, squeezed my breasts with her own and shoved her tongue inside my mouth in one fluid movement. I was breathless and I panted as if I had just finished a marathon, though.

“Grab my shoulders.”

I
had little time to obey the order before she lifted me up and settled my butt on her thigh. We were both the same height but her strength impressed me because she managed to keep her balance on one foot while her other one rested on the wall as I sat perched on her elevated leg. Cindy clenched my waist and slid my body up and down her leg. It was probably the strangest position I’d ever been in although the friction sent amazing sensations through my body radiating from my sex and buttocks. I had to hold on tight to her slick shoulders for support because her pace was frantic. She made me feel like I was a dog in heat humping her leg while my knee scraped her groin every time she pulled me down and our bodies collided. The whole scene was surreal and foreign. But, then again, everything about Cindy O’Rourke had been unconventional so far. Besides, none of us seemed to mind it judging from our elaborate breathing and stormy heart-beating.

I hadn’t felt that powerless, in my sex life, since Josh Peterson.
All those years ago, Josh had been my first lover and the first to show me the delights of mixing pain and pleasure in a balanced equation. Down in his Pleasure Dungeon, he became my first and only Master. I had always been a fast learner. Soon, I graduated as a willing submissive and went on to take my PhD degree as a Mistress. Josh wasn’t into playing submissive to my Mistress for the long haul. Eventually, he turned into someone I didn’t recognize so I moved on with my life. I had never looked back nor switched roles. At least, not until I met a certain blonde bombshell.

In that shower, feeling again powerless
under a partner’s attack, I was thrilled instead of annoyed. It was liberating to let another person run the show while you enjoyed the ride. That thought brought back the flash of a very recent memory from the night when Mark had made love to me. I threw it back into the furthest corner of my mind. No time to deal with that. Cindy treated me like an object and I was terrified and turned-on, which was a dangerous combination. I wasn’t the only one, though. She was out of breath and her voice was thick when she spoke in my ear.

“You’ve been driving me crazy since we first met.”

“I’ve been dreaming about your body ever since. I’d never thought about having sex with a woman before I met you.”

By
then, my clitoris was throbbing and my legs had turned to jelly. When she put me down I held on to her for dear life. She captured my mouth in another smoldering kiss. I gave up thinking all together. I dived, head-first, in the sea of lust that surrounded us. I had never felt more alive or more aware of my reactions. Every part of my body in contact with hers seemed on fire, my skin was flushed under her touch, my muscles quivered and my chest heaved.

“I want to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk afterward
s.”

“What makes you think you can, missy,” I laugh
ed at her bluster.

“Watch me!”

It was her turn to laugh and the butterflies in my stomach went wild. Maybe I had met my match in that young girl, after all, and I was in way over my head. Cindy turned me around to face the wall, pinned me to it with her body, spread my legs apart and shoved two fingers inside me from behind.