Vagabond (10 page)

I scooped the snake off his arm and put it back on the branch where I’d found it. He followed me, and we both leaned over to watch it move along. We stood so close the tiny hairs on our arms nearly touched. I couldn’t stop my heart from running away, and it was hard to breathe. He never stood this close to me unless it was out of necessity.
 

But there was a different type of necessity to this closeness. There was a vibration of energy coursing between us, as if, under the canopy before Randolf interrupted, a mutation of the heart happened. I thought it had only been within me, but the way the hairs on his arms stood up near mine told me I’d been wrong.
 

He reached down and placed my palm on his, and he traced the lines that existed there. “You’re brave, Niko.” He said it softly. Warmly. He was so close. He was too close. With each infinite milli-second that passed, it seemed that he only got closer and closer. “Everyone you meet sees it. It’s an underestimated brave, and it sneaks in on the people you meet. It draws them to you. Even Pol—“

“I’m not brave,” I whispered. I pulled my hand out of his, and turned back to the path. Something bigger than my heart told me what would have happened if I didn’t walk away— an irrevocable moment that I still wasn’t ready for. “Let’s get there already. I’d like to go for a swim. It’s so hot out here!”

I definitely wasn’t brave at all.
 

“Knucs. Wake up.”
 

I lifted my head from where it’d settled into the crook of his elbow. There was a tha-tha-thrump-tha-tha-thrump on the tracks. The sound was like a lullaby, and too slow to be anything but a freight.
 

I jumped up and rolled the sleeping bag as fast as my fingers could work. I tied it to the place on top of my pack with an extra belt, and Flea and I ran up to the tracks.
 

The lights that lit the wheels were broken in places, so only some of the cars were lit. Darkness could work for or against us, and I wondered which it would be.
 

Then I saw the open-tops and grinned.
 

“Think you can follow my lead again? This one’s going slightly faster than the last one, but we should still be able to make it.” The open-tops zoomed past, but their pronounced ladders made for easy targets. “You’ll have to get the next one, after me. If you miss the first grab, just keep trying. If we get separated, we climb to each other once we’re on it.”
 

“Okay,” he whispered. Adrenaline was hot on his face. I didn’t need daylight to see it. I knew it was there because it was on mine too. This part never got old.
 

One slip and death.
 

One slip and everything was gone.
 

But, for one perfect moment, I got to defy death, and it was the only time I’ve ever felt truly powerful.
 

The clouds were mirrored in the water. It was as if they stared at their own reflection and couldn’t get enough of themselves. They were conceited, fluffy, globs of narcissism— white beyond white against a too-bright baby-blue. I tugged off my t-shirt and forgot to feel embarrassed. Back in the Colonies, the suits were all thin pieces of fabric that stretched the lines of the body. Pants and long sleeves thin enough to let in air, but sturdy enough to protect us from the sun. Swimming in my underwear used to turn my face to lava, but after a year on the Tracks, I’d grown used to it.
 

The water was cold as I ran in. Each step turned me into a slow motion runner as the water splashed up and over until I finally gave up. I threw myself into the embrace of the water and the cold rushed over my eyes. The liquid tried to find any opening into my insides. It froze my ear canals but got stopped by my eardrums. I resurfaced and struck out against the placid lake, and with the clouds in the water, I felt like I was swimming in sky.
 

I looked back and saw Xavi. He was still about knee deep in water, and he had that look on his face. It was the look that said I’d done something stupid and not Track-like. There were so many subtle rules, and I never knew when I’d do something to get myself into a bind with my ignorance. I was lucky to have Xavi around to remind me to be careful.
 

We never told anyone I was a Colony-kid. If they asked, we said I was a Stationary. We claimed my parents hid me away in the wilderness, and I struck out on my own because I wanted to see the world. The story suggested that I was a genetic anomaly, and that part made me cringe, but the flimsy lie made me safer in some ways. It was so obvious that I was new to the Tracks, and there were so many things and sayings that Xavi tried to blend out of my habit. So when he got that look, it was always in my best interest to figure out how to avoid whatever I’d done for future reference.
 

I swam back in his direction and he waded in mine. I stood up and waited for the rebuke. Once again, the water amplified how drastically tall he was, and his navel hovered above the water while mine was swallowed up in it.
 

“What’d I do now?” I asked. I couldn’t hide the annoyance at having to come back.
 

As I looked up at him, his head blocked out the sun. Within the shadows of his face, there was an expression I didn’t recognize. It was a look that started growing when we left the Garter snake on the stump, and it was a look I’d ignored as I pointed out different sparrows in the trees and filled the gaps in conversation with senseless chatter. I told myself I was imagining it, but I wasn’t. There was a determination within the browns that existed in his eyes. There was an energy that pulled all the air out from around me, and it left me in terror.
 

He bent his face down, and his lips hovered above mine for what felt like forever until the entire world collapsed between our mouths. There was a clumsiness and awkwardness on my part. I didn’t know where to put my hands, so I settled for reaching them around his neck. It only pulled him in closer and tighter, and made everything all that much better. My tippy toes dug into the mud as I stretched. Our bodies collided, and our skin was slippery and different from the other times I’d had to nuzzle next to him for warmth. On those nights, I’d already memorized the curves of the muscles on his chest and the color of his darkened skin, but this was different.
 

I didn’t know how to breathe, and I only wanted more and more of whatever was happening.
 

His arms reached up behind me, and his fingers left trails of shivers along every inch of my back. Then he reached for the clasp that held my bra. I’d imagined the kiss a million times since that night under the canopy when Randolf interrupted, but I’d never imagined this part. This part didn’t fit in my head.
 

I pulled away and pushed him back. It must have caught him off guard, because he toppled into a large splash, and I dove back into the water to fix my bra before he saw anything else.
 

The clouds burned off under the sun as it rose. It was one of those lackluster sunrises, but it didn’t make me any less thankful to see it. We’d found an empty open-top. It was walled on four sides and was uncovered, like a sardine lid peeled back. The metal was cold, but it shielded us from the wind. It was the one Flea caught, and I had to clamber across three others to get to him. Each of the cars between had some sort of mineral mounding mini-mountains inside, and the pebbles that created those mountains were not easy to climb on. They made my hands turn black, and I used some of my water to wash the dirt off my fingers. I’d be able to get more water soon enough, so it was worth the spent liquid.
 

We pulled out Roderigo’s jerky and chewed on a meager breakfast. Jerky was the best. It’s one of those foods that force the slow eat and tricks the brain. I let Flea take two pieces, though it made me cringe. Normally, his size would warrant the extra rations anyways, but he still needed more than he should have taken. I wondered how many calories a day he was used to. His frame was big with broad shoulders. Everything about him screamed genetically pure, and I contemplated what Caste he came from. It was obvious he’d never wanted for food, until now at least.

“How old are you?” He asked.
 

“Seventeen.”
 

“Me too! Just took my Exits.”
 

Exit exams. I guess he’d given up hiding his recent Colony departure. I would have taken my Exits that year too. I would have sat at a harsh wooden desk and scribbled answers on the test document. I would have stressed and agonized over every answer, just like I did with every test I’d ever taken. But that was my old life. It didn’t feel right to talk about school out here. It was like talking about sunshine in the middle of a hurricane.
 

His questions kept coming. “How long have you been out here?”

“My whole life. I was a Stationary until I—“

“You don’t have to lie. It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me the truth, but just say you don’t want to tell me. I’d rather hear you don’t want to tell me than a lie.” His expression grew ancient, like he knew more about me than I had ever told.
 

I tried not to show it rattled me. “How’d you know?”

“You slip into the accent— our accent too much. You try to hide it, but when you’re nervous, it slips. Like with that man yesterday.”
 

Something small. It always boiled down to something small that gave me away.
 

“How do you know so much about Stationaries?”

Xavi threw a stone into the water so that it skipped four times before sinking in. We’d sat in silence for a while, trying so hard to find the words to talk our way out of what had just happened. The kiss. The hands. The exposure. Things got more muddled once we were safely dressed in dry clothes, and I broke the silence by asking him about Stationaries? I immediately felt like an idiot.
 

“I was one. My parents and me. We made this cabin into a home, but they eventually found us. I was out hunting, and, on my way back, I saw the fires. I went to the rendezvous point, but no one was there.”

I tried to imagine Xavi’s story. The words fell as if from a dream, and I couldn’t see it clearly. There wasn’t enough emotion in his voice to catch the tragedy of it all. His parents were killed too, just like mine. Suddenly, instead of Xavi’s parents, I only saw mine with their slack-jawed expressions as the light left their eyes. I felt the shudder of a tear, and wished I’d never brought the topic up.
 

But Xavi continued. “I waited for a month, but the weather was changing. I was lucky it all happened in the summer, but when winter made it’s entrance, I would have died had it not been for—“
 

“Hey there!” A girl’s voice interrupted from the trees. “Fancy seeing you two here!” Mari, Oldie, and Goldie emerged, ragged and travel worn. Then Polo followed behind them with a sheepish grin. His presence pulled me up from where Xavi and I sat, and laughter exploded from me before I could trap it in.
 

 
“I thought you were headed west?” Xavi accused. He’d made it pretty clear he didn’t like Polo very much.
 

“We were.” Mari laughed. “But my brother said this lake sounded like a great spot after Niko described it. You know Marco Polo. He’s always up for an adventure.” She shot me a sly smile to let me know it had nothing to do with adventure and everything to do with me.
 

Chapter Seven

I shook Flea. He was curled up in a ball where he’d finally fallen asleep. “There’s a yard a few miles up. We’ll have to foot it from here.” We could have stayed on the freight, but I needed supplies. Plus, despite everything that had happened since I met Flea, I was still determined to make it to the beach and needed to switch lines. Xavi always refused the coast, and I got the hint that there were some memories there he didn’t want to revisit, so I never pushed. But it also meant it’d be the last place I’d run into him, and that was all I wanted.
 

 
Flea copied how I braced myself on the corners of the car until I reached the ledge and clambered down the ladder. The train shuddered with that shake it gets when the wheels start to protest against brakes and rail. It was preparing for the entrance into the Colony.
 

I leaned back on my calves like I was sitting and peeked around the car. It was already at an easy speed, so there was no need to tuck and roll. I hopped off with a parachute fall. I never knew where the name came from, but it helped to have a way to run-fall. Flea wasn’t as graceful when he hopped down after me, but he didn’t face-plant. I thought to praise him for it, but decided against it.
 

“What next?” He asked.
 

“We stow our packs.” I rummaged through and pulled out the satchel from the bottom. My satchel was it’s own optical illusion. It fit so much more than it promised to just by looking at it, yet it was flat enough when empty to fit snuggly in the bottom of my pack. I hated leaving my pack to go into town, but it was too bulky not to arouse suspicion. A shoulder bag was more subtle.
 

I put the important things in it: the water purifier, the water bladder, and the money. I couldn’t bring more than that, because I needed room for what we’d snag. I hid my pack behind a tree and piled leaves and a log over it. Leaving it was a risk, but everything was a risk on the Tracks.
 

“What if someone steals it?” Flea asked.
 

“Then they steal it, and we find a way to get new ones.” Again, I went with the nonchalant. Losing our bags at this time of year was hypothermia waiting to happen, but I had to trust in luck. I needed supplies.

 
I turned to start the walk into the Colony, but he reached up and grabbed my hand. “Wait. Let’s think about this. You really want to go into town?”