Vampire for Christmas (6 page)

She
didn’t answer him.

Tears
filled her eyes and she trembled.

She
opened her mouth, as though she might find her voice, and then
bolted. She was out of the front door before he could even react.
It swung on its hinges, letting cold air in that carried the scent
of snow. He stood and reached the porch before he stopped himself
and looked around. Her coat was gone and her trainers
too.

Rafe took
another step forwards, intent on following her, and then reined in
that desire and stood on the porch instead, staring after her. She
was long gone and going after her would only make things worse. She
wouldn’t welcome his protection tonight, or his concern. As much as
it pained him, went against every desire he had, he needed to give
her space. He pictured the scars. Ragged. Deep. They hadn’t been
done gently. Someone had attacked her. His fingers curled into
tight fists.

His foot
shifted forwards but he stopped himself again. It was no use. There
was a stake in her jacket pocket with his name on it if he dared to
track her down before she reached home. His gaze rose to take in
the paling sky. Even if he waited for her to make it to her house,
he still couldn’t go through with it. The sun would rise soon and
he didn’t think she would give him shelter. He couldn’t risk
it.

He had to
let her go.

Tomorrow
night, he would go to her house. He had the perfect excuse to be
there. They still needed to find the demon and defeat it. The
washing machine in the basement stopped running, leaving the house
in silence. He had to return her clothes too.

Rafe went
down into the basement and unloaded the machine. He stared at the
pile of wet clothes in the white plastic basket and then reached
down and plucked the red scrap of knickers from it. He held them
up, his eyebrows rising at the sight, and groaned.

It was
going to be difficult to sleep now.

Even he
could have sleepless days when he had enough on his mind. It wasn’t
just images of Shannon dancing around in only her underwear that
was going to keep him awake though. It was the scars too. He had to
know what had happened to her, because something told him that it
was the reason she had joined the agency, and the reason she wanted
all vampires, including himself, dead.

If he was
going to have a shot at winning her heart, he had to get her to
talk.

Right
now, that felt more impossible than ever, but he wouldn’t give
up.

He would
find a way.

He had
to.

He
couldn’t live without her.

****

Chapter 4

Rafe took
a deep breath, adjusted his appearance, checked the parcel of
clothes he had neatly tied with string having dried and ironed
them, and then knocked on Shannon’s door. His jaw ticked nervously.
Minutes passed. No one answered.

The
lights were on and he could hear her, feel her, in the house.
Pretending not to be in wasn’t going to work when it was a vampire
at your door.

He rapped
his knuckles against the dark wood again and tried to see through
the frosted glass panels.

She still
didn’t answer.

He
glanced up and raised an eyebrow. The mistletoe was gone. Probably
his fault.

Rafe
sighed and knocked harder. “Shannon, answer the door.”

“
Go away.”

His
senses placed her in the living room. He leaned back to see the
windows. She had drawn the curtains. He drew another steadying
breath and knocked again. He wasn’t going anywhere until he had
spoken to her. He would keep knocking on her door until she got so
annoyed that she answered just to shout at him. After his hundredth
knock, a fuzzy shape appeared through the matt glass.

“
I said, go away.”

“
Open the door.”

“
No. It’s Christmas Eve. I just want some peace on Earth for a
change. So, go away. You’re disturbing the peace.”

Rafe
moved closer to the door. Her dull shape moved backwards. She was
distancing herself.

He could
understand why. The revelation that she had been attacked by a
vampire had given him a lot to think about today. He had cast his
mind back over their two years together and her fragility, her
reason for discarding her feelings for him, for keeping them hidden
and pretending they didn’t exist, and her initial nerves around
him, all made sense now. He couldn’t believe that the agency had
paired her with him, a vampire, after she had been through so much
because of one. They knew her history. He wished that he did too.
That was why he had come here tonight. This was his last chance to
break through the barrier around her heart and convince her to
trust him.

“
Haven’t you gone yet?” There was a snap in her
tone.

“
No.” Rafe wasn’t about to leave just because she had asked. He
had never obeyed such a request in the past and he wasn’t going to
start now.

A sense
of fear laced the beating of her heart.

Was she
afraid that he would hurt her? Hadn’t he proven himself worthy of
her trust over the past two years they had worked
together?

That
hurt.

“
What about goodwill towards all men?” It was a long
shot.

She
laughed. “You’re not a man. You’re a monster.”

That one
really hurt.

Rafe
ground his teeth and pressed his free hand to the door, trying to
feel her on the other side and pinpoint her emotions. Her heart was
racing, loud in his ears, speaking to his true nature and enticing
it. He ignored the temptation and desire to hunt her, and instead
reached further, deeper, until he could pick out the tangled
threads of her feelings. The past two years had helped him grow
attuned to her. He had catalogued her feelings whenever he’d had
the chance, separating them out when she gave clear indications of
what emotion she was feeling, so at a time like this he could read
her like a book written in large neon letters.

She
didn’t believe what she had said. He told it to his heart
repeatedly so it would stop aching. It was just a reaction to her
emotions. They were strong, conflicted, and were causing her to
push him away because she didn’t want to deal with them or didn’t
know how to.

“
I am not a monster, Shannon.” Rafe closed his eyes and locked
on to the two feelings that were strongest. Fear. No surprise
there. The other eluded him. Softer emotions were difficult for
vampires to grasp. Was she feeling something like that? Love, hope,
affection? What was it that kept her standing on the other side of
the door, giving him time to talk to her, to convince her to do as
he wanted? He sighed and lowered his voice, letting his emotions
flood it so she would know the truth in his words. “I promise you,
Shannon, whatever happened to you, whatever that vampire did, I
would never do anything to hurt you. I am not that sort of man.
Can’t you see that? Don’t you know that in your heart?”

She
didn’t answer. He stood there in silence, waiting for her to turn
on him, to blame him for what had happened to her before they had
even met, or to tell him that he was wrong and she did think he was
a beast after her blood.

Her fuzzy
shape moved and she turned and leaned against the door. He moved
his hand, placing it against the wood on the other side of the door
to her, so he could feel her emotions more clearly. She sighed and
tilted her head back, resting it against the glass. He could feel
the war in her, the emotions raging through the wood into his hand,
and could hear the battle in her heart.

He needed
to know what had happened to her. He wanted to understand her pain
and fear, so he could find a way to open her eyes to her feelings
and show her that it was alright to be with him, because he would
never hurt her. Her words tore at his heart and doubt firmly
plunged its claws into his mind.

“
Please, Shannon,” he whispered and leaned his right side on
the door near to her. He rested his forehead against the glass.
“Tell me you do not believe I am a monster.”

“
Isn’t that why you’re with the agency? Because you’re a
monster?”

His heart
sunk into his feet.

“
True. Perhaps I was a monster once, but not anymore. I am
older now, and wiser. I no longer feed like that. I have the
strength to only take what I need and they give it
willingly.”

“
And then you steal their memories.”

He
conceded that point. It was something all vampires did if they were
going to leave their victim alive. It stopped them from realising
that creatures like him existed and protected his
species.

“
Like the vampire did to you?” he said.

She
turned sharply. Her pulse spiked. “How did you know that? Did the
agency tell you? You spoke to them, didn’t you? You know all about
what happened to me and now you’re here trying to make everything
better, defending your kind.”

“
Never.” His restraint snapped and he growled the word. She
backed away from the door again and her shape appeared on the dark
blur he knew was the stairs. She looked so small, and felt so
fragile. His arms ached to be around her, to hold her close and
protect her. He needed to comfort her, to give all his love to her
and receive something other than hatred in return. “I would never
defend the bastard that did that to you... and I did not speak with
the agency.”

She
raised her head. “You didn’t?”

“
No, Shannon. I did not. I came here tonight to speak to you
about it. I want to know what happened to you, but I don’t want to
hear it from them. I asked them once, when we first started working
together, but they would not tell me… and things are different
now.” He traced the grain of wood on the door and stared at his
fingers. “Tell me what happened.”

“
I don’t want to talk about it.”

The hard
edge to her voice warned him not to push her on the subject. Rafe
relented and held her clothes up instead, so she could see the
colour and shape of them through the glass.

“
Do you want these back?”

“
Leave them on the porch.” Not quite the response he had
anticipated.

“
There is still a mission to finish, Shannon.” It was cruel to
play on her loyalty to her duty when she clearly wasn’t feeling up
to hunting with him, but he needed to get her out of the house, or
at least he needed to get into the house. He would settle for just
having the door open so he could see her and could read in her eyes
that she was alright, and that she didn’t believe that he was a
monster capable of hurting her as the other vampire had. “We need
to kill this demon.”

“
Do it yourself.”

Rafe
smiled grimly. He had been expecting that one.

His dark
gaze dropped to the brass door handle. He was tempted to use his
power to open it but she would only fear him more if he did that.
He placed her clothes down on the doormat.

“
Have it your way.” Rafe stepped away from the door. “Just tell
me one thing.”

“
What?”

He
frowned at the door, his heart aching over the thought that she
didn’t trust him and that he would never see her again. If he
finished this mission, their time together was over. Maybe it was
better that way. Maybe it would hurt like Hell and he would spend
eternity with a hole in his chest where his heart used to
be.

“
Did they get the bastard that did that to you?” The venom in
his tone surprised him. He had tried to keep his fury out of his
voice, his lust for vengeance and desire to track down the vampire
to tear him to pieces, but the force of the emotion was too strong
to contain.

Silence.

“
Yes.”

Rafe
smiled a thin-lipped smirk of satisfaction. He only hoped they had
butchered the vampire for it.

The smile
fell from his face.

What
right did he have to hope such a thing?

Shannon
was right. He was a monster. He was no better than the vampire who
had hurt her. He had attacked people and fed off their struggle and
fear. He had killed them without a moment’s regret. He had no right
to wish vengeance on another vampire who had done the
same.

No. He
had atoned for his sins against mankind. He protected them now and
had saved more lives than he had ever taken. Maybe he had been a
monster once, but he had changed. He was a man now, or as close to
one as he could be, and he needed her to see that.

But she
never would.

He turned
on his heel and walked down the porch steps. When he reached the
path, he swept his long black coat back and jammed his hands into
his jeans pockets. He tilted his head back and looked up at the
starlit expanse of winter sky.

He wished
she would.

He wanted
to be a man for her.

Her
man.

Yellow
light streamed out of her house, throwing his shadow out long until
it reached the bottom of the garden path in front of
him.