Vampire State of Mind (16 page)

‘You were gone a long time.' There was a question there, carefully hidden.

‘Yeah, sorry. Anything happening?'

Liam looked from me to Sil and back again. ‘Nah. Just paperwork. Oh, there was a call out to Enforcement about an hour ago but no-one came back to ask us to attend, so it was probably some local getting a bit daylight-happy.' He swivelled his chair around so that his back was to us. ‘So, you two have a nice time?'

‘No. Liam, can you run through a search for me? I need to know all there is to know about the ghyst.'

‘Are you sure – ?' Sil began.

‘Yes. I have to know.'

‘Wouldn't you like to take a little time over this?'

‘And what part of “I have to know” didn't you get?'

‘Hello? Still here.' Liam swivelled back to wave his hand in front of my face. ‘If you two are going to have private conversations, then can you at least have them in private?'

I ignored him and turned on Sil. ‘Can you get Zan on to it?'

He stood and looked at me out of those infuriatingly unreadable eyes. ‘I think you should take a moment.'

‘Liam, could you call Zan's office and see if you can get hold of him?'

Liam gave me a tired, pitying look and pointed at Sil. ‘Jessie, an enormous percentage of Zan's office is standing next to you. Looking, if I am not mistaken, severely pissed-off.'

Sil sighed. ‘Wouldn't you be?' I made my eyes pleading-shaped, and glared at the vampire, who held both his hands up defensively. ‘Yes, it's all right, Jessie, I know. Not in front of anyone else.'

‘Oh, whoa, what is this, death-match time? Any bodies turn up floating down the river and you know I go straight to Head Office and tell tales.'

‘Liam, you really are the most disloyal person I know, and given that I know a
lot
of vampires, that's a pretty shocking statistic.' I absentmindedly picked up my several-hours-old coffee and drank the dregs. ‘I'm going home.'

‘What about the search?'

‘Mail me the results. I've got to go and spend a clichéd few hours looking through some old photo albums. No, not you.' This to Sil, who had risen to his feet from the edge of Liam's desk. ‘You stay here.'

‘What, suddenly you're not at risk any more? I don't think so, Jessie.'

‘I want to be on my own for a bit. Surely you can understand, after what happened today?'

‘Look at yourself. You're vulnerable, even more so than usual and you're normally as vulnerable as a day-old chick in the open, so you're going to need protection. Besides, I'm not sure you
should
be alone.'

‘You're doing it again, having those coded conversations. If there's something going on, then why can't
I
know, at least? Or, a clue, a clue would do – ' Liam's voice faded as I started down the stairs, hearing him plaintively calling after us – ‘or a mime? How many syllables?'

It was dusk on the pavement outside the office, a warm and muggy night was settling over the city, with a fog rising from the river through which people were moving like footless ghosts. Sil and I walked against the tide towards the flat.

‘What are you going to do?' Sil asked, shaking beads of moisture from his hair. ‘After you've finished with the wallowing in self-pity, obviously.'

‘I am
not
wallowing!' I snapped back. ‘I'm trying to come to terms with things here!'

‘You'd better come to terms fast then. Everything's changed for you, Jessie, and this isn't the time for weeping and wailing. There will be time for that later, if you feel you must.'

‘Why? You were the one telling me that I am still who I've always been! So what's changed that is so desperate that I deal with it?'

Sil looked at me from under lashes pearlised in fog. ‘Because you're one of us now,' he said softly. ‘You're an Otherworlder. I don't know if we've ever had a half-breed before. Vamps don't breed true, werewolves can't cross-breed, and none of the other races ever interact sexually with humans, so you are quite the curiosity.'

I stopped walking so suddenly that he was a few steps ahead before he realised. ‘
Nothing
has changed! I'm still who I've always been, still
what
I've always been! I do not have anything to do with the Otherworld.'

‘I think the law might disagree.'

‘I am not one of you. I've been human for thirty-one years, and I shall carry on being human.'

‘You're half-demon, Jessie. You can't fight it.'

‘What were
your
parents like?' I asked, nastily. ‘Or can't you remember that far back?'

‘Victorian. Hardly ever met them. I had nannies.'

Touché. ‘Look, I'm home now. Why don't you go back to your office? No-one is going to do anything to me tonight; there's no Run, I'm expecting no visitors and,' I checked up and down the street, ‘no sign of Enforcement coming over all peculiar. I'll catch up with you tomorrow when I've had a chance to think about all this.'

Sil shook his head and a fine mist of water from his hair hit me in the face. ‘No.'

‘I'll be safe enough in the flat.' I went through the main door and started to climb the stairs. ‘No-one's going to break in; we've got locks and everything.'

‘Even so.' Sil followed me.

‘You can't guard me all day and all night! What about sleep?'

‘Jessie, I'm a bloody
vampire
! You know, the whole “children of the night” thing! I don't need sleep and I'm not going to be taking up the spare room, if that is what you're worried about.'

‘We haven't
got
a spare room.' I stopped on the landing and turned around to face him. ‘And
that's
what I'm worried about.'

‘You've made your position very clear, Jessica.' Sil's voice was cool. ‘You don't want me, fine. Believe me, there's plenty that do, and I'm not putting myself up for humiliation at
your
hands again.'

‘Ooh, listen to you!' I put the key in the lock. ‘We all know you're boombastic, you don't have to keep on about it!'

‘Jealous, Jessie?' Sil's voice had a little laugh in it. ‘I notice
you
don't seem to be getting any action these days?'

‘Yes, well, my last boyfriend-experience ended in him getting blasted to kingdom-come, so it's not something I'm in a hurry to repeat!' I leaned against the partially opened door, feeling the slight prick behind my eyes which meant I might cry if he kept prodding me.

Sil seemed to know it too. ‘Yes, I'm sorry. That was a cheap shot. A mere repetition of vile tattle.'

‘No, you pretentious nineteenth-century prat, it was a bloody wicked thing to say. How come you're all “yeah, okay” and then you suddenly get an attack of the Oscar Wilde's?'

He shrugged. ‘One can adapt, but upbringing is still uppermost. Do you miss him?'

‘Cameron? Sometimes.'

‘But I shouldn't think you miss having to chain him up every full moon. Sorry! Sorry!'

‘You are
such
a bastard.'

I pushed the door fully open and walked through, into the arms of Malfaire, who was standing inside.

‘Ah, Jessica, there you are. I was beginning to worry.'

I jumped and recoiled at the same time. ‘How did you get in?' A tiny part of me was looking him over thinking
this is your father. You carry his genes. You are alike in ways you don't know.
A slightly larger part was screaming
what the hell is he?

‘Your charming flatmate. She let me in. I have … er …
persuaded
her to go out for the evening.' He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, louchely. ‘Lovely girl.'

‘But … she … you …' No way. No way would Rach have let Malfaire into the flat willingly. Especially after he'd flamed her cat. Not even to force-feed him her healthy snacks until he died of mouth-boredom. And
going out?
After
dark
? Rachel considered the night to be nature's way of telling us to watch
EastEnders.
‘She wouldn't.'

Sil was standing at my shoulder. ‘Did you glamour her?'

Malfaire straightened. ‘Maybe. A little.' He moved to walk around us both. ‘Hmm. I wonder, Jessica, is
this
the love-interest in the tale that is your life?' Malfaire eyed Sil up and down like a second-hand horse. ‘A little too skinny for my tastes, although the bone structure is good. Nice long legs, to pull you deep. Or does that part of you belong to the other one, the old vampire, with those
gorgeous
green eyes?'

Sil hissed at him, fangs out.

‘Now, now. Jessica, can't you control your pet?'

Focus on being angry. On the here and now.
‘Pet? He's no pet of mine!'

‘Really?' Malfaire sounded superciliously uninterested.

‘I repeat, why are you here?'

Malfaire walked through and lounged down on one of the sofas, for all the world as though this was
his
home, not mine. ‘When we last parted … I'm not sure you fully understood the implications.'

Tonight he looked as though he had been dipped in caramel, from the top of his softly blond head to the tips of his brown leather shoes, he was one-tone, creamy-toffee coloured, wrapped in a super-soft mohair jacket, which reached halfway to his knees and probably cost more than this flat.

Beside me, Sil was vibrating with anger. His fangs were so far out that he'd bitten his tongue and a tiny drizzle of blood was running down the dark stubble peppering his chin. ‘You have no business here with Jessica.'

Malfaire leaned forward on the sofa, resting his elbows on his knees. I was still standing, but found myself leaning forward too, meeting him halfway. His eyes scanned me. ‘You know what you are,' he said, quietly. ‘I can see in your face.'

Inside me, a battle was being fought. On one side, I wanted
so badly
to know things: What I truly was – demon, human? What was my mother like? What did she look like, sound like, smell like? Did I get my hair from her, or my eyes, or my triumphant bosom?
What did you do to her that made her so terrified of her own child that she didn't want to keep me?

And on the other side stood Jessica Grant, human by adoption and upbringing, by habit and convention. Not wanting to reveal herself hurt by today's shaking news, not wishing to put herself in humiliation's way by opening up to Malfaire and giving him the chance to get the upper hand.

‘It has taken me a long time to find you, my daughter.'

‘And that's why you want me to go along with your anti-vampire league stuff? Because I happen to have fifty per cent of your genes, you think I ought to be unable to make up my own mind about good and evil? Okay, the vampires haven't always been the good guys, but now we've got a Peace Treaty that works in everyone's favour, we've developed synthetic blood which means humans don't die for lack of compatible transfusions any more, and vampires living longer than us means there's continuity in organisations where that's a good thing. We all bumble along nicely enough. Now you come along trying to raise hate and intolerance and … what, I'm supposed to join in because you're my good old, long lost dad?' There were tears in my eyes and my voice had dropped into the hoarseness of swallowed misery. ‘Just … just piss off, Malfaire.'

He sighed, a deep, seemingly heartfelt sigh. ‘But I am all you have, in this world.' The unmistakable threat rolled and rippled beneath his words. ‘You and I, we could rule!'

Sil put his hand on my arm. I glanced up at him and saw the pulsating, gleaming form of his demon breaking its way to the surface, fighting its way from glands and nerves to coalesce along the front of his suit. I grimaced, not at its appearance, but at the thought of the dry-cleaning bill, as the dual creature that the vampire truly was stood before me, strong and imperious. ‘Why do you want, Jessica?' It spoke with Sil's voice but no inflection, as though the words meant nothing, were just something that seeped out.

I'd never seen Sil's demon before. It had an elegance, a kind of pared-down simplicity of form that wasn't ugly or stomach-churning as some could be; it was more like a very thin humanoid that occupied the same body space as him. More of a symbiote than a parasite, I found myself thinking, then wondering why on earth I wasn't more traumatised by this demon in my home. ‘Yes, it's rather the twenty-four million-dollar question, isn't it, Malfaire? What the hell do you want with me? I've made it clear that I'm never going to be on your side in whatever mythical “battles” you've dreamed up, so why don't you just leave me alone and go and shout your rhetoric from a box down in the park, like the other nutters?'

Malfaire sighed again. ‘I had wished to protect my bloodline,' he said, still sitting relaxed on the sofa, ‘but it appears that you have to die.' A wave of his hand and Sil and I were encased in a hex, a greenish-yellow staining in the air around us. ‘I do hope you realise that this is nothing personal.' Malfaire's voice drifted in, strained through the magic so the words sounded hollow. ‘Purely self-protection.'

Sil leapt. In cat-like silence he flew for Malfaire's throat, head back and fangs to the fore, but was unable to break through the spell, despite his demon tearing at the walls of magic with claws and teeth. I tried to move to help, but the air was thick and I didn't have the vampire's strength to fight it. I began to sag at the knees, pressed slowly, slowly to the floor by the increasing pressure inside the circle, feeling the blood rising as my head started to pound.

‘Keep still.' Sil's words were hissed and low. ‘You cannot battle this demon; he is one of our kind. To fight will mean the end comes sooner for you.'