Various Positions (35 page)

There are arrows that mark the way to the studio entrance. I follow them and end up in a small foyer, with a meter of practice barre mounted to the wall and a young woman with a clipboard. She asks my name and ticks it off on her list. She tells me I have about ten minutes. I place my hand on the barre because it’s there for me and go through the ritual of rolling up onto
relevé
and then rolling back down.

“They’ll take a five-minute break when this girl’s done.” The woman points to the closed studio door. “Then you’re in.”

I wait for my nerves to ricochet. Nothing happens. I breathe in and marvel at the easy flow of my exhalation. There’s the sound of applause in the studio, then movement around the door. It opens toward me and a girl steps out. I’ve never seen her before but I recognize everything about her, the make of her pointe shoes, the cut of her leotard, the way she’s pinned her bun. The assistant hands her a water bottle and the girl tears off the plastic cap and drinks.

“You’re in,” the assistant tells me.

I step into the studio. The audience is on my left. It comprises several rows of foldout chairs and it’s bigger than I anticipated. I figure there may be a hundred people. My mom is in there somewhere, but I won’t look. The impulse triggers a memory, though—Isabel in the audience the year before with a thumb stuck up in front of her nose, grinning. Then I picture her as she faced me last on the sofa, the limp sulk of her disapproval. I shake the image off and feel the grit of what I love charge up my middle, and I tighten my thoughts around what I’m about to do, and then, for a second, I think about Roderick.

The panel is set up in front of the first row. There are four people behind a long collapsible table and the grand piano is to their left. The man at the end of the table stands up to greet me. He tells me they need a moment to get organized, and I stand beside the mirror, covered with brown paper for the audition, and stretch through my feet one last time.

“All right, Miss Slade.” The man waves his hand, as if to say
proceed
.

I move to the center of the studio. The pianist plays the introductory chords of the variation. I step into the first pose.

A
CKNOWLEDGMENTS

My deepest thanks to my agent, Clare Alexander, and my editor, Lynn Henry, for their invaluable insight, expertise, and encouragement. I am also grateful to Frances Foster for her thoughtful feedback and enthusiasm. Many thanks to Susan Dobinick and everyone at Farrar Straus Giroux; Kristin Cochrane, Nita Pronovost, Ruta Liormonas, and everyone at Doubleday Canada; Anna Stein and Andrew Cowan; and David Higham Literary Associates for their generous award. I am grateful, as ever, to my family and should mention particular help from Michael Schabas and Veronica Lam in London. A thousand last thanks to my dearest friends and readers: Divya Ghelani, Fadi Hakim, Katherine Orr, Natasha Negrea, Ariadne Siotis, Jessica Somerton, and Michael Wheeler.

Copyright © 2012 by Martha Schabas

All rights reserved

First hardcover edition, 2012

eBook edition, February 2012

macteenbooks.com

The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

Schabas, Martha.

Various positions / Martha Schabas. — 1st ed.

    p.   cm.

Summary: When talented, dedicated fourteen-year-old Georgia Slade becomes a student in an elite Toronto ballet academy, her confusing feelings toward one of her teachers lead to disaster.

ISBN 978-0-374-38086-1 (hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-4299-6177-6 (e-book)

[1.  Ballet dancing—Fiction.   2.  Schools—Fiction.   3.  Sexual ethics—Fiction.   4.  Body image—Fiction.   5.  Family problems—Fiction.]   I.  Title.

PZ7.S32797Var 2012

[Fic]—dc23

2011016832

eISBN 9781429961776