Veil of Shadows (36 page)

Kalen grimaced and stroked a hand down her hair. “I know, pet. Morne just more or less bellowed the same in my ear. But that isn’t the problem. Syn left the camp and according to your . . .
brother
. . . there may well be Warlords in the area.”

“Syn left? Warlords?” Her mind bounced from one extreme to the other. “Oh, thank God, I’m glad I won’t have to separate you two right now. What . . . Wait, Syn left the camp? What in the hell for?”

Kalen had no problem following her disjointed train of thought. He slid Laithe a narrow look and said in a flat voice, “We’ll talk, you and I.
Then
I’ll decide for myself if we are ‘okay.’ But for now, Syn.” He looked back at Lee and said, “Yes, Syn’s outside the camp, and yes, there may be Warlords.”

“Then let’s—”

All three men said it at once, with such intensity, Lee found herself backing up a step. Dismayed, she advanced on her husband and poked her finger into his chest. “Excuse me?”

“You can’t.” He reached up and caught her wrist. “Damn it, Lee.
Think
. Don’t think like a fighter; don’t think like her friend. Think like a leader—if you’re out there, you give them
two
targets.”

“I can take care of myself,” she said edgily.

“Yes. You can. But you’re still a damned target.” He curled his fingers around her shoulders, eased her close. In a quiet voice, he said, “Lee, please. Don’t. Stay here. Syn’s out there, and right now, she’s not thinking clearly—don’t ask for details. I can’t get into it now. But she’s vulnerable,
and
she’s unaware there may be danger. Please, for me, and for her, stay here.”

Mutinous, she stared at him. He rubbed his mouth against hers, and she huffed out a sigh. “Fine. Shit. Damn it, slick, you’re going to owe me big-time for this, you know.”

“Your word?” He stroked a finger down her cheek, watching her closely.

“You have it.”

He gave a terse nod. “I’m taking Bron with me as well. Until we’re back, you’re in charge. I’ll leave word with Gunner and Elina.”

The door closed at his back.

Lee attributed it to her befuddlement over her brother, her confusion and fear for Syn, but it wasn’t until they were already lost in the night that she found herself thinking,
Why in the hell is she out of the camp
alone
at this hour?

Syn had picked up a big shadow—one by the name of Xan. Lee didn’t know him, had barely said more than a few words to him, but she’d noticed one thing—the man had a very hard time letting the captain out of his sight.

Very hard.

So how had she slipped away in the dead of the night without him at her side?

“Hell, if
I
tried to get a few minutes away, Kalen and me would be having it out,” she muttered.

Puzzled, she reached out to touch her mind to Kalen’s, but stopped. No. Right now, he needed to focus on Syn. She could bug him, or her friend, for explanations later.

They left the base camp on baerns, four units of ten soldiers each. Just outside the gates, Kalen studied the hastily assembled men, saw the looks being sent in Laithe’s direction. They varied from surprise to outright hate.

I very often despise this job,
he thought.

“Okay, listen up—I’m not going into details right now, but this
Warlord
is here with my authorization. He is under
my
protection.”

Now everybody was staring at him. Lifting a brow, Kalen rested a forearm on the pommel of his saddle and said, “Under
my
protection, and make no mistake, if even one of you forget it, there will be hell to pay.”

“Why in the hell are you protecting a Warlord?”

Narrowing his eyes on the one who’d asked the question, he fired back, “That’s none of your damned business, Cohl. However, do try to remember—you had a Warlord fighting at your side for years, one who saved your life more than once. Nobody seems to have a problem with Morne’s presence. And there’s also the case of my wife.”

He grabbed the reins of his baern and guided the animal around. “Not all of them are the slaving bastards we despise. That’s all you need to know.”

From the corner of his eye, he glanced at Laithe and then shot a thought at Morne.
“You had better not be making any mistakes here, old friend
.
”

Kalen sighed.
“I trust both.”
Out loud, he called for the men to break into teams, updating them on the current situation.

Kalen sent the Warlord—his fucking brother-in-law—with Morne. He couldn’t deal with that worry just yet and wouldn’t let himself get distracted by the man, either.

Not when one of his oldest friends was out in the dark forest, alone, unaware of the danger that may well lurk all too close.

Tears streamed down her face. The betrayal lay inside her like a nasty, infected wound, burning hot and painful, spilling its poison inside.

The first time she’d seen him—had there been something about him that she should have recognized?

No . . . there had been nothing. Syn dashed a hand over her damp cheeks and bent over Kerr’s neck. “Faster,” she whispered. Right then, she didn’t care where the baern took her, so long as he was far, far from here. If she ran fast enough, hard enough, maybe she could outrun her own stupidity, her own blindness.

Though it was dark, the baern’s steps were sure. The clever, nimble creatures had the night vision of a cat, and the surefootedness. As he neared one of the trails that led into the mountains, he slowed and began to take the path, winding them up and up.

Coward
. A voice inside jeered at her, mocked her.
You let him into your camp, into your bed—spread your thighs for him, and now that you know the truth, you run and leave him in the camp. Who knows what he might do?

Her mouth twisted. At least
that
voice she could silence. He was with Morne. And Laithe—she might not entirely trust the man, but he’d protect Lee, and right now, protecting Lee would mean protecting the camp.

Now, that voice was harder to silence. Must be her fool heart, not wanting to believe the man could bring harm on them—on
her
.

But if he wasn’t there under false pretenses, he should have come clean—should have explained. Should have said something.

Memories flashed through her mind. The day she’d forced him to fight her in the circle.

I don’t believe in harming women.
She’d forced him into it—had it been an act? The Anqarian bastards had no qualms on
harming
women—they routinely kidnapped them, forcibly bred them—
raped
them.

The day Vena had barged in on them, after she’d left, Syn had told him Vena didn’t belong in the rebellion.

Her mouth twisted and she muttered, “Of course not. It makes sense now . . . He feels like we should be barefoot, probably with some prettily decorated slave collar around our necks, while we get impregnated with one babe after another—”

A sob tore out of her throat. She’d trusted him.

And all the while, he’d probably been using her—plotting against them.

You’re wrong
. The voice in her heart grew louder.
Wrong. He cares.

The day Elina had been hurt, the day the three of them had first tried to forge the net for the witches.

His hands, so possessive, so demanding and protective. His voice rumbling against her ear.
I smell your skin on me while I lie in bed at night. I feel you next to me even when you are not there. I need only to think of you, and I want you. I need only to think of you, and I have to see you, have to be with you. For this . . . and more. And yet you tell me I have no stake in your safety?

A harsh keen escaped her. Beneath her, Kerr slowed to a stop. Huddling against his strong neck, she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed.

I have a stake in this—I have
you
. You are becoming everything, Syn . . . Don’t take that away from me.

But it had been lies . . . had to be.

I have seen the man before, Captain.
No emotion had crossed that hard, impassive face. No regret. No remorse.

“Oh, God.” She lifted her face to the sky, terrified the pain inside her would shatter her into a million pieces.

She covered her ears with her hands, trying to drown out the voices in her memory.

Battlelord
.

“This isn’t happening.”

After all this time, she’d found a man who
meant
something. He hadn’t just pleased her in bed, and he hadn’t just understood her. He’d been more . . . everything. Friend. Lover.
Love
—not just her lover, but her love.

“I love him,” she whispered, exhausted. The storm of grief hadn’t passed, but it had ebbed, and once more, she could think again. Sadly, she could still feel, and she felt completely broken inside, her heart and soul shattered.

Through the chaos in her mind, she felt people reaching for her. Elina. Kalen. And though she didn’t understand how, she thought she’d sensed Xan’s presence as well. Blocking it off, she straightened in the saddle and looked down to the valley where the base was nestled. Kerr had picked his way to an outcropping, high above the base.

Dawn had come and gone without her realizing it. Full morning sun shone through the clouds. She could see the camp, but she was too far away to make out anything save the buildings and the small specks that were the people. Duty demanded she return to the camp, but for the first time in a long time, possibly ever, Syn didn’t give a damn about her duty. If she wasn’t needed right now, she didn’t want to be there.

Sinking just the barest bit into the energy plain, she sensed Elina’s presence, Lee’s. They were there, watchful, waiting, worried. But not the adrenaline-rush worry that came from danger. No, this was focused . . . at her.

Just before they sensed her, just before they could reach out to her, she pulled back.

Whistling softly to Kerr, she nosed him once more along the trail. They’d managed to drive most of the demons out of the more mountainous areas of their land. She’d go there. A day. She would take this one day for herself. They didn’t need her right now—they didn’t need Captain Laisyn Caar, and right now, she needed to just be Syn. She needed to find someplace to try to gather up the ragged pieces of her heart, her soul, her pride.