Vengeance (19 page)

“Yes, I have been learning how to fish. I love it, but it is kind of icky.”

I laugh. “Icky?”

“Yes, you know when you have to…chop out their insides.”

“That does sound icky.”

“Haven’t you fished before?”

I feel nervous again, I can’t remember. I decide to go with the truth.

“I don’t really remember, so maybe not.”

“I will show you when you and daddy visit!”

“That would be great.”

I smile at Jax, who is leaning against the bed grinning. I guess the truth is as good an answer as any.  She doesn’t mind if I don’t recall it or don’t know if I have done it, she is just happy to talk.

“I better go now baby, I will talk with you soon.”

“Bye mommy, I love you.”

“And I love you.”

I hang up, and the tears begin to fall. Jax comes over and takes me into his solid embrace.

“Hey, why the waterworks?”

“I love that she just doesn’t mind that I can’t remember, but it bothers me Jax. I just…it is so
Damn
ed confusing. I want to move on, I have made that decision, but sometimes not knowing is so hard.”

“If you want to know, no matter when or where, you ask me and I will tell you.”

“It won’t
matter,
I can’t remember what you are telling me anyway.”

“Maybe not but it might help just to put things in place.”

“Aren’t you scared something will come up that will tear us apart?”

He shakes his head with full confidence. “No, I know what has happened and nothing in our past was so horrific that we couldn’t get through. I have faith
Jade,
I know we got through it once we can do it again. I am not saying there is no pain in our past because there is, I have hurt you, you have hurt me, but we got through. I won’t hesitate in telling you if it is really what you want.”

I snuggle into him. “I don’t want to know bad things Jax, just some of the good.”

“Then I will tell you, go on sit.”

We sit and for the rest of the afternoon Jax
tells
me about all the good things in our life, some of the not so good as well. He doesn’t go into great detail, but he gives me the basics. It doesn’t help my memory any, but it does put things into place. At least now when I see someone, I will be clear on my past with them. I fall asleep in his arms when early night falls, and he holds me there until we are woken by the door opening. Steffan steps in, followed by Mack. What an odd sight.

“Hi angel.”
Mack smiles, kissing my head.

“Hi daddy.”

“Hi Jade, how are you feeling?”
Steffan asks.

“Still a little confused, but Jax has covered most things with me.”

“That is good, I have some good news,
you
can go home with us tonight.”

I beam. “I can?”

“Your head is healed, and they have found no further injury. We can finally take you home.”

I grin and slide out of bed, hugging them all before packing my things. I look at my clothes as I shove them in, I don’t remember buying a single item, but I know…somehow I know…those clothes are me.

CHAPTER
13

Days pass and I feel more and more at ease with myself. I see familiar faces, and they are all patient and understanding if I don’t recall something. Jax is by my side most days, still concerned for my safety. Tonight we are going to a ball my father is holding in honor of my mother.  Jax decided it would be a perfect spot for our second date, the first he took me to lunch at the beach and made one heck of a memory for me, smothering me with kisses and smooth words.

I am picking out a dress for the ball when a knock on the pub door echoes through. Jax is out and spending time with the crew on their quest to catch Ben. I walk over and open it, to see four familiar faces.
My daughter, Jack, Layla and PJ.
I burst into a fit of tears as Lilly leaps into my arms, emotion floods me, and I don’t need to remember things to know how much I love my daughter. When she steps back, I am hugged by my two best friends.

“How are you honey?” Layla cries, gripping me in a hug.

“Ok, confused.”

“Hi little princess.”
PJ says and smiles at me, as though I should know something.

I smile back. “Hi.”

“Hi, that’s it?”

I blink. “Yeah, that’s it.”

“
Damn
, you really have forgotten.”

That kind of hurts and my outburst is un-necessary and emotional.

“Yeah well, you try losing your memory and seeing how the hell it feels. Jesus.”

I turn and storm off, Jack follows. I slam the bedroom door, and a moment later, Jack is opening it. He walks in cautiously and sits down.

“Are you ok angel?”

“I can’t remember a
Damn
thing, and I hate it. I know you all, I do, but I don’t know how any of our relationships were. I don’t know anything, and I just want my memory back. I thought I didn’t, and I have been ok with that, until now.” I scream angrily.

Jack pulls me into his arms. “Of course you do, it’s not abnormal to feel such frustrations.”

“It’s more than that, I feel like I just can’t think. I see people, and I feel happiness or love, but I can’t seem to pin point why.”

“It will take a while love, just give it time.”

“I just want it all back.”

“I know.”

Jax walks in then, looks at the two of us and smiles a little. “I see you found her.”

“Yeah PJ upset her…”

“Bastard.
He just told me. You ok darlin?”

I nod weakly. “Yeah, I am fine.”

“Are you up for tonight still?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Then we should start getting ready.”

Jack stands and kisses my head. “See you soon, angel.”

“Thanks Jack.”

He walks out, and Jax sits on the bed beside me. I stare into those deep green eyes and my heart flutters. I have hardly kissed him, and curiosity is burning high. I must have blushed because a small, lazy grin spreads across his face.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

“Just thinking about kissing you.”

“You have kissed me.”

“I mean…really…really kissing you.”

“Tongue and all?”

I blush heavier, and he laughs. “Come on baby girl, we have done it all before.”

“I have no
doubt,
I just don’t remember any of it.”

“You want me to kiss you until you can’t breathe baby, coz I will?”

I nod, swallowing over and over. I drag my bottom lip into my mouth and bite down on it. I am nervous, actually nervous. Jax leans forward and kisses my cheek, then slides his lips down over my neck.

“Jax?”
I whisper.

“
Mmmmm
?”

“Can we do more?”

He pulls back. “I wanted to save that, for later…”

“Then…save it, but we can still…touch right?”

He grins. “You want to have a touch session? I am up for it.”

I glance down at the tightness in his jeans and giggle. “I can see that.”

“Now
now
, go easy.”

“Show me,” I whisper, putting his hand on my face. “Show me, what I like the most.”

He leans forward and presses me into a deep, hot kiss. When his tongue snakes out and into my mouth, I moan.
God
but he tastes sensational. I whimper as he drags slow kisses down my neck, across my shoulders and then back up to torture my mouth again. I begin to pant, desperate to feel more of him, so needy and curious. He slides my shirt off, and when he unclips my bra, I flush.

“Beautiful.”

He slides down and takes a nipple into his mouth, and I groan, oh that feels so good. He sucks and pulls, then slides down lower, taking my panties with him as he reaches my toes. I tense up, feeling a little vulnerable. He kisses my legs, my thighs, and when he settles between my legs I clamp them together. It’s not that I don’t want it, or that I have any doubts I will like it, it is more the fact that I don’t remember it.

“Un-clamp your legs, you love this,” He growls against my skin. “Un-clamp or I will shove them apart.”

I slowly un-clamp my legs and whimper when he slides a finger through my heated flesh.
I cry out when his mouth slants over me and his tongue drives deep, soft licks into my most sensitive skin. I grip the sheets as bolts of pleasure shoot through my body, who knew it could feel so
God
Damn
ed good? I want to scream, and melt all at the same time. When he slides his finger inside me, I explode and scream to the ceiling as I clench around him.

“Fuck, you are making this
Damn
ed
hard.” He growls as he kisses his way up to my lips.

“Let me touch you.” I whisper, panting.

“Go right ahead.”

“You want me to make you…”

“Come? Yeah, fuck yeah.”

I blush. I love how abrupt this man is, it is highly arousing. With trembling hands, I reach down for the button of his
jeans,
slowly I undo it and slide them down his hips. No jocks, it doesn’t surprise me. The sight of him stops me for a long moment, the size alone is overwhelming. I enjoyed this? Liked it? Loved it even? I have no doubt. After what he did with his mouth, I can only imagine the skill he has with…this.

I reach out and take him into my
hand,
his skin is soft and warm, oh yes. I stroke up and down, listening to his groans above me. I want to make this good, hot even. I lay down on the bed, rolling him so we are on our sides facing each other. Without moving my hand, I slant my lips over his and pull him into a deep, long kiss. His groans increase and I feel them rumble through my mouth. He leans down and takes my nipple into his mouth, and I increase the pace until he is gripping one hip with his hand and clenching the sheet with the other.

“Jax…” I whimper, as he pulls on my nipple with his teeth. “Come.”

“Fuck.” He hisses.

“Now, come.” I demand.

I hear his roar and feel him shudder and release onto my hand, his teeth clamp down onto my nipple, and I cry out. When his body stills, he raises his gaze to meet mine.

“Holy shit, you just ordered me around.”

I give a sheepish smile, was that too bold?

“Was it too much?”

“No, it is just usually the other way around.
God
, when you told me to come…I loved it.”

“Well, maybe I did too.”

“You will have to try that again.”

I grin.
“Perhaps.”

“Now, I have to wash my
Damn
sheets.”

I start giggling, loud and free. The first giggles for days. He grins and rolls me over, so his body is pinning mine on the bed.

“Ew, get off.” I laugh wildly.

“Nah, you can roll around in it.”

“Jax, gross!”
I squeal as he uses his hips to shove me from side to side.

We roll about laughing and tackling, no way near the soiled spot on the bed, but it is fun all the same. When we are tired out and panting with left over laughs, we fall onto the bed again and stare at the roof.

“You are still there you know.” He says finally.

“I am?”

“Oh yeah, even though you don’t remember, you are still there. I can see you, as though nothing ever changed.”

“So it doesn’t bother you that I can’t remember?”

“Not really, I wish you could remember some good things, but I am glad I get the chance to re-create again with you.”

“Are you happy Jax?”

“Mate, I am.”

“And I am what you want?”

He rolls towards me and smiles. “Darlin, you will always be what I want.”

I beam at him and then stand. “Well, shower time, our daughter is waiting for us and needs some serious parental time.”

“I agree.”

We shower and dress, then spend the rest of the afternoon at the beach with Lilly. I thought it would be odd, but nothing so far has been hard to deal with. We talk about normal things and anything I don’t know, Jax corrects. We had an amazing afternoon, and by early evening we rushed around to be ready in time. Lilly is staying at the palace for the night and thinks all her Christmases have come at once.

When I am ready, I breathe in a deep breath for courage. Layla is standing beside me looking beautiful and fresh. I glance at her and she smiles, taking my hand. When we walk out, the two men, PJ and Jax, stop speaking and gape. The look on their faces is priceless. Layla and I are wearing the same dress in different colors.
Hers red, mine blue.
Low cut, V neck, long and slender. They are beautiful dresses.