Vengeance (19 page)

It was my turn to talk, but there was too much meaning in her sentence. Too many questions layered underneath.

When I parked, she said, “Thanks,” then hopped out of the car. She paused for a second, I guess to see if I was going to walk with her, but I stayed in the car, watching her go.

I forgive you
, I thought, willing it to be true. A mistake. A horrible mistake. A mistake that she can’t take back, that would eat her up inside. Like me leaving her on the center of the ice.

Let’s cut across
, I’d said.

Your boyfriend’s waiting
, I’d said, harassing her about Carson. And then I left her there.

We don’t have all day!
I’d yelled. She slipped. She fell. She disappeared under the surface of the lake.

I could never take that back. But on the recording, she had only mentioned me saving her.

We are bigger than a fight
, I thought.
We are bigger than a mistake
. And I resolved, right then, that the next time I had her alone in the same room, I’d forgive her.

“Hey,” Janna said, tapping on my window. I rolled down the window. “Planning on getting out anytime soon? Or are you planning to stare at the school entrance for another five minutes?”

I got out of the car, and she kept talking. “I’m going to apply to BC. And Tufts. Did you go to BU? What did you think? I can’t decide.” She kept talking, but more like to keep me from saying anything.

Then she caught sight of something over my shoulder. Kevin’s spare car pulled into the parking lot. His spare car probably cost more than 90 percent of the cars in the parking lot. Maya slid out of the passenger seat. Justin got out of the back. Janna cringed and made a beeline for the school entrance when she saw them coming.

“First-string car still in the shop?” I asked.

“Ha,” he said. Then he got this weird look on his face, ran his hand through his hair, and said, “There was water in the engine.”

“From the rain?” Maya asked. Her eyes were bloodshot, like she’d been up all night.

“Uh, no. Otherwise there’d be water in
everyone
’s engine.”

He was telling us something that Maya wouldn’t understand. We heard him. Water in the engine. Water in my house. We’d all pulled her out of the lake. We’d all taken her back. It was coming for us all.

Kevin shrugged, like he was shaking something off. “Anyway. Should be fine. Just have to drive that hunk of metal for a couple more days.”

I wondered if we were all seeing the same thing in the pause that followed. If we were all seeing different versions of the frozen lake, of me with the rope, of them pulling me up, of Delaney, still and blue.

Maya cleared her throat. “How does that happen, then?”

He shook his head rapidly. “It can happen if you drive through a big puddle or something.”

But we all knew it hadn’t rained that much. And we were all probably thinking of Falcon Lake. The silence was eating at us all, and Maya was looking between each of us, trying to put something together.

“You look tired,” I said. But when she cut her eyes to me, I thought maybe I was wrong. Maybe she looked sad instead. And then I wanted to take it back.

“Got back late last night,” she said.

“Speaking of,” Kevin said, “I think your brother hates me.”

“You were practically trying to grope his sister in the front yard,” Justin said.

“In my defense, I had no idea he was on the front porch.” He looked at Maya. “A little warning next time?”

“I pushed you away,” she said. “How much more warning do you want? I told you he drove me back yesterday.”

“You didn’t tell me he was still here.”

“Seriously? Use some common sense, Kev.” It was the same way she’d spoken to me when she told me to grow up, and I could tell from Kevin’s face that he had never seen this side of her before.

And before Kevin could respond, Maya turned to me. “Is Delaney here?”

“Inside,” I said, as she brushed past me.

Justin hadn’t been paying attention. He was scanning the parking lot. “Have you seen Janna?” he asked, a ridiculous smile across his face.

“Also inside,” I said. “Avoiding you.” Which did nothing to dim his smile.

There were blue and gold posters hung throughout the hall. And streamers. And anyone who played a sport was wearing his or her uniform. They would be wearing them all week, game or not.

The first week of October was traditionally homecoming, and it was traditionally the start of the weather getting cold, and traditionally it was fun. The best part about homecoming was that we didn’t have the most traditional part—we didn’t really have a dance. It was kind of the same: gaudy decorations and the school gym and music in the background, but it wasn’t like a dance-dance. As in: we didn’t have to
dress up. Or pick dates or any of the stuff that took the fun out of most events. You just showed up each night, and a bunch of alumni came, and everyone hung out and ate food—and then we spilled over into the town.

We used to go to Justin’s lake house, especially with his brothers home—they didn’t go too far when they left for school. Most of us didn’t. But Maya and her mom were in that house now, and apparently her brother, too. Kevin asked if she could have a party, and she looked at him like he was the biggest moron on the planet. He kind of was.

I didn’t really have plans, and I didn’t see Delaney in the parking lot after school, so I went back to her house, hoping to catch her there—but instead ended up doing homework, alone, in the dining room. So when Justin’s car (full of Justin and his brothers) honked and then honked again outside Delaney’s, I went. I was looking for Delaney—since she hadn’t been at home, I figured she was here. At the school gym. But it didn’t look like we were here to stay. We were on a people-gathering mission. We gathered Kevin, who gathered Maya, who had her phone pressed to her ear. And Kyle, Justin’s oldest brother, gathered Janna, who turned red, but she said, “This sucks anyway,” and came with us.

“Is that Delaney?” I asked, pointing to Maya’s phone, but she shook her head, barely glancing at me.

“Have you seen her?” And this time I touched her arm so she’d pay attention.

She jerked away from me, cupped her hand over the phone. “Yes, I’ve seen her.”

“Here?” We were heading outside, and I scanned the crowd behind us. She said a few words into her phone and hung up.

“Decker, if she doesn’t feel like telling you where she is, I’m sure as hell not going to tell you.”

She was right. I took out my cell phone and listened to it ring. Maya was watching me as Justin’s brothers tried to convince Tara to come with us, but it didn’t look like she was interested. I was standing in the middle of the gymnasium with a phone pressed to my ear, turning in a circle, trying to find Delaney.

It went to voice mail, and Maya leaned closer. “You just missed her.”

“You could’ve just told me that,” I said.

“She’s my friend,” she said. “And you’re fucking with her.”

“I’m not fucking with her, I’m—”

“Save it. You don’t speak to her. You don’t look at her. But you can’t leave her alone. You’re
torturing
her,” she said, and I flinched. “And I don’t get it, I mean, what did she even
do
? She won’t tell me. I
know
there’s not anyone else yet.”

Yet?

“Maya, please tell me where she is.”

We were out in the cold, moving as a group, and I had to walk fast to keep up with her. “She’s meeting up with my brother, apparently.”

I stopped walking, and Maya had to turn around.
“What?”
I asked.

“Wow, Decker, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re jealous.”

“What the hell is she doing with your brother?” I asked, ignoring the accusation.

She crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at me. “Why do you care?”

She kept walking, falling into step with Kevin. “Shit,” I mumbled, and called Delaney’s number again. When she didn’t pick up
again
, I sent her a text:
Going to clearing. You should come
.

Ten minutes later Maya was sitting across from me, on the hood of Kevin’s spare car, laughing at a joke. I kept staring at my phone, willing Delaney to respond. We were behind the parking lot, behind the field house that I’d painted over—there’s a makeshift road in case people need to transport equipment—right at the edge of the woods. There was something calming about this, about being with the same people I’d known my entire life. Plus Maya. Plus flasks. I’d be calmer if Delaney would show up.

Maya was practically sitting on Kevin’s lap, laughing at something he said to her.

I put an arm around Janna, who was sitting unnaturally close. Not because she wanted to claim me or anything, more because she wanted to be as far away from Justin as possible. She was practically clinging to me. And judging by the way his brothers were looking at her, they knew why.

“He has such a big mouth,” she mumbled.

“In his defense, you weren’t exactly discreet.”

With my free hand, I pressed the Call button again and held the phone to my ear.

“Who are you calling?” she asked, but I held up a finger until I got Delaney’s voice mail again. Janna leaned across my lap to see the phone as I turned it off. “Tell me you’re not obsessively calling your ex-girlfriend.”

“Okay, I’m not obsessively calling my ex-girlfriend.”

She rolled her eyes, grabbed it from my hand, and stuffed it in her bag. “I’m doing you a favor,” she said.

“Janna …”

But she held her bag out to the other side, away from me.

Kyle stood up and handed his flask to Janna. “Little Levine, all grown up,” he said, shaking his head and grinning at her. She blushed, refusing to make eye contact, then took a sip from the flask and passed it to me. Then she said, “This is funny, right?” And giggled.

“Is she drunk already?” Kevin asked.

No, I was pretty sure she was just about to flip out on someone. I was also pretty sure it wasn’t me. I shrugged at Kevin. Janna stood in the middle of us all, closer to Justin than she’d been since Boston, and said, “Your brothers are very proud of you, huh?”

Justin looked at the hood of the car. He was trying not to smile.

“But if
my
brother were here, he’d kick your ass.” And then she laughed once more—at least I thought it was a laugh.
Justin stopped smiling, and Kevin took a giant swig and said, “Shit.” And the place fell silent.

I stood up, raised the flask, and said, “To Carson Levine, who right this second would be kicking Justin’s ass.” Then I tipped the flask over, watched as the liquid ran across the dirt, disappeared beneath the grass. Imagined, for a moment, Carson smiling. Laughing at us. Saying,
“It’s about damn time, motherfuckers.”

“To kicking Justin’s ass,” Kevin added, dumping his flask over as well. Then he looked at Janna and grinned. “I’m sorry we dropped the ball on this.” He handed the empty flask to Maya, stood, and cracked his neck.

“Stand up,” he said to Justin. Kevin was grinning. Justin groaned. He slid off the hood of the car way too slowly. Kevin hooked him around the neck and dragged him to the center of the circle and took a cheap shot at his gut.

“Dude, that hurt,” he said. But the side of his mouth quirked up.

Kevin hit him once more, then cracked his knuckles against the side of his leg.

Janna looked at me, eyebrows raised.

“Janna,” I said, “I kicked his ass that night.”

Kevin smiled. “It’s true.” Janna laughed and wiped her thumb under her eyes.

“Your turn, Janna,” Kevin said, holding Justin’s arms from behind. “For Carson.” She waltzed up and decked him in the stomach, harder than Kevin had. Justin winced and coughed. And then she walked closer, stood on her toes, and kissed him on the mouth.

“She’s definitely drunk,” Kyle said, laughing. Even Maya was smiling. Kevin went back to her and whispered something in her ear, something that was meant for her alone, and she smiled some more.

I grabbed Janna’s bag, looking for my phone.

We didn’t hear them coming.

“Not to break up the lovefest …” Justin and Janna pulled apart. We were surrounded by a group of alumni, smiling at us. “It’s time,” the big guy said. Lance Cooper. Quarterback half a lifetime ago. He never missed a homecoming.

He used to go to parties, according to Justin’s brothers, but it got seriously creepy as he got closer and closer to thirty. I’d figured he’d moved away since I hadn’t seen him around in a while. But here he was.

I froze, and I think everyone else did, too. Even Justin’s brothers, who weren’t here last year when everything happened, knew enough to know that
this
part wouldn’t go over well.

This
part being the part where the alumni drag the senior guys down to Falcon Lake as some sort of initiation into alumni-hood or something.

“But …,” Justin said. I saw his throat move up and down as he swallowed. Wondered if any of us would have the guts to mention the curse. It sounded so ridiculous out loud, and I didn’t think any of us really believed it. Not individually. Not Janna—she was like Delaney, all brains and logic. And Kevin was just aloof. Justin was the only one scared enough that he might say something.

“But what?” Lance said, homing in on Kevin. Kevin was the biggest. Kevin was the leader. Kevin would be his prize.

I dropped Janna’s bag.

“Oh hell,” Justin said, and he took off running. Kevin did, too.

I’m not proud to admit I did the same.

I may not be the biggest or the strongest, but I was definitely the fastest, and nobody was going to catch me. And nobody did. Not until I saw her, like a ghost in my peripheral vision, walking through the night like she was in a trance. Down to the fields surrounded by woods.

I stopped running. “Delaney?” I called. She turned and cocked her head to the side. Then her eyes grew wide as she saw something behind me. I turned just in time to see two ex–football players converging from both sides. “Oh, shit,” I said. But it was too late. One took me down around the waist, and the air was temporarily knocked out of my lungs. I had this moment of panic where I couldn’t breathe and wondered if I’d be able to take a breath ever again. I wondered if this is what Delaney felt under the ice. I wondered that a lot.