Venus in India (29 page)

So she thought it best not to write except one short little note.

On the morning of the day we expected them back from Rampur, just as I was putting on my pyjamas and jersey and looking at the naked Amy, who had so cruelly robbed me of my peace of mind and Fanny of her full possession in future of my prick and balls, Amy said, 'Oh! by the by, Captain Devereaux, I've something for you here.'

'What is it, Amy?'

'Oh, a letter from Fanny.'

And she put her hand under her pillow and drew forth a little note she had put there overnight and had 'forgotten' to give me earlier.

'Oh! Amy, why did you not give me this before?'

'I forgot.'

'You know I love Fanny. It is cruel of you, Amy!'

'Pooh! What do I care! Lord what a rage Fanny will be in when she hears the news.'

'It will break her heart.'

'Fiddle-de-dee! She will roar and cry and call me names and you too, Captain Devereaux! Oh! she will tear your eyes out!'

'I will tell her the truth, Amy, and then if she can forgive me I shall be happy - but - will she?'

'Of course, she will. Bless you, I know Fanny better than you do, Captain Devereaux. She will try it on. Yes, she will try it on. She will rave and storm and threaten, but if you treat her cooly and let her know that it's of no use crying over spilt milk, but there is more milk for her if she chooses to take it, she will quiet down fast enough. Fanny is not quite such a fool as not to know that half a loaf is better than no bread. But she is greedy. She never offered to share you with me and now she must. It serves her right. And I am rather glad you don't like fucking me, because it serves you right too!'

'But Amy, I do like fucking you! As far as mere fucking goes you are quite as good as Fanny!'

'Thank you for nothing! Mere fucking! You won't persuade me you see anything more in Fanny than a nice little cunt! I don't believe it. No! no! Captain Devereaux. You are sore because you have to fuck me whether you like it or not. If it weren't for that you would not be sorry to have both me and Fanny, aye and Mabel too, and Sugdaya and every other woman in Fackabad also!'

It was no use trying to make Amy sensible that although cunts may be equally delicious from a physical point of view and all girls equally young, nice and beautiful, yet love distinguishes one above all others and makes one the most delicious of all. I left her in disgust, mad with myself because I could not master my prick and because I could not help confessing that she was a perfect and exquisite poke.

On going back to my bungalow I read the precious note from Fanny. It was full of love and happiness at the prospect of being once more in my arms. Poor, dear girl! She appeared not to have the least qualm about Amy or anyone else occupying my thoughts during her absence. So far from imagining that I should take advantage of her being at Rampur and endeavour to get into Amy or Mabel, she said that she hoped on her return to hear that I had not forgotten that they were her sisters and to find that I had, for her sake, been kind to them and been to visit them at Mrs Corbett's, where she imagined they must have been very lonely without her and papa.

This note gave me the greatest possible pain. What would Fanny say when she discovered the truth? It would nearly kill her! She trusted me so completely. She did not dream of a rival and she could have no notion that she would find a most formidable rival and oppressor in Amy, her own sister. What a deep and designing game Amy had played! And how patiently had she waited until she could put her scheme into action. Herein I saw Sugdaya's hand. No one but a native, or one governed by a native, could have possessed their souls and senses in such a state of entire patience as Amy had done. For she was everything but cool and composed while I fucked her. She was such flame and fury that it was impossible to suppose that she did not enjoy to the fullest the glorious pleasures my prick and balls procured her. She must consequently have endured the most real pains of unsatisfied desire and, like the Spartan boy, have suffered the agonies of having her living flesh gnawed at whilst she smiled in apparent calmness on all. I dare say it was the recollection of these poignant sufferings which made all her words and actions towards me so cruel and spiteful. However, she had been well fucked and perhaps, when I had smoothed down Fanny and calmed the storm which threatened a catastrophe, we might so manage as at all events to render Amy amiable. For if Fanny, as I fully expected she would, declared she would no longer be fucked by me, I determined I would not fuck Amy any more and as Amy liked being well fucked so much, so very much, she might discover that any ill advised attempt to drive a man might result in a revolt whereby her newly acquired kingdom over my prick might be lost.

Full of these turbulent thoughts, I lay down, but could not sleep. Hour after hour passed away. Full daylight came and brought with it, one by one, the numerous signs of life - the birds, insects, animals and men. But I heeded them little; all my thoughts were concentrated on 'What will Fanny say?' and 'How shall I ever recover my position in her love and admiration?' The devil take Amy and damn Sugdaya for her infamous plotting and scheming!

A good swear relieves a man when the cause for irritation is passed and gone, but alas! no amount of cursing will soften the expected pains of approaching doom - else mine would have obviated the misery I expected, for I swore enough to blow all misery to the winds, had the misery been upon me and not still in the offing.

Fanny and the colonel were not expected to arrive until seven in the evening and Amy and the children were not to leave the Corbetts until a little before that hour. I passed that most wretched day in writing a letter to Fanny trying to explain what had happened in such a way as not to inculpate Amy any more than necessary, but yet to exculpate myself.

Needless to say all my efforts were in vain and each letter I wrote seemed worse than the last and all were destroyed by me. Oh! dear readers, may you never, not one of you, have reason to suffer such torture as I endured. It would not have been so bad had I deliberately with malice aforethought been unfaithful to Fanny. But to have been so trapped and betrayed into doing what I really had not meant to do, was a cause of the greatest mental anguish to me. Suppose I told Fanny the exact truth, was it likely she would believe me? Would she not also say and with a great show of justice, that I need not have gone on fucking Amy?

Ah! she had no prick and balls to drive her as I had. It would be difficult to understand, too, that in order to keep Amy in good humour, I had to go on fucking her; and yet I felt I really had no better card to play. I could not help it if I found fucking Amy truly delicious. I dare say a girl who is raped, rather enjoys the sensation, although in her heart she may feel the deadliest enmity against the man who rapes her, because it is done without her consent. I really could not prevent my prick standing and stiffly raging when it was near Amy's cunt. A prick is like a gun. The enemy can take it and use it against its proper owner. It shoots just as straight and as hard for the one as for the other and has no will in the matter at all. All that my prick saw in Fanny was a delicious and sweet cunt between her thighs; it saw exactly the same thing between the thighs of Amy - and its one desire was to get into that one which was nearest. This is certainly not the case with most cunts. It was in Lizzie Wilson's, but hers was by no means the one to give the rule. Look at Amy. Amy wanted to be fucked. Well, she had plenty of friends who would have been delighted to have fucked her, but she never hinted her desire to one of them. Look at Mabel. If anything she was worse and hotter than Amy. The reader will see in time what she did. My prick was always ready for Mabel's cunt and, but for the most determined opposition, it would have got into it. Oh! let a woman understand this: 'A standing prick has no conscience!'

Everything comes to an end and that horrible day came to an end too, but not until I had at last written a little note to Fanny in which I begged her not to come over to see me for a very particular reason which I could tell her as soon as I could find an opportunity on the morrow. This note I took with me to Amy at the Corbetts and we went out into the garden together, Amy refusing to let Mabel accompany us.

'Well you do look bad, Captain Devereaux. Are you so awfully afraid of Fanny then? You are as white as a ghost.'

'I am not afraid of Fanny, Amy. Nothing she could say to me could be half so painful as what my conscience tells me. But the fact is I could not sleep a wink when I got home this morning.'

'Ha! ha! ha! ha!' laughed Amy, as merrily and cheerfully as if I had told her something more than ordinarily pleasant and delightful. 'Oh! I do like to hear that! What a fool you are, Captain Devereaux! I wonder you don't put more value on yourself. Now if I were you, I should say to Fanny, if she is at all cross, "Look here Fanny! You can take me or leave me - it is all one to me. I can't fuck any the more because I have two cunts instead of one to fuck. Only Amy will get all the more if you leave me.'

'That would be adding insult to injury, Amy.'

'Well! what of it? Is it not the truth?'

'You don't consider the pain such speaking would give poor Fanny.'

'Pain! And pray did she consider what pain I suffered from her not even asking me would I like to be fucked by you when she was. Sisters should share. I only ask for my share. I don't want to take you altogether away from Fanny, but I must be fucked as well as she.'

'Well, I should not be surprised if it all came to an end now.'

'Why?'

'Because I expect when Fanny hears the news she will go into one of her dreadful states of excitement and do or say something rash before your father; and if he hears of what has happened he will certainly take steps to prevent any more of my fucking of his daughters. He could, for instance, as easily get me sent to another station as I could get Lavie sent to Benares. Nobody need know why, but you and Fanny would have to find another beau, if fucking is all either of you wish for.'

This speech made Amy thoughtful. She had entirely lost sight of the possible effects a too brilliant triumph over Fanny might have.

'That is worth thinking about, Captain Devereaux.'

'It is, Amy, in all solemn earnest. Now will you do me a favour?'

'What is it?'

'Will you give this note to Fanny for me?'

'What have you said in it?'

'All I have said is to ask her not come over to me tonight.'

'Have you told her what has happened?'

'No!'

Amy walked on in silence evidently thinking what she should do. I imagine she had intended to crow vigorously over Fanny, but my warning had made her begin to reconsider this. As we walked we approached the stable and Amy, who had been twisting my note to Fanny between her fingers suddenly looked up.

'Oh! Here we are at the stable,' said she.

'Yes,' said I, reading her thoughts, 'but Amy dear I really could not do it now!'

'What nonsense!' she cried reddening. 'I never asked you either - but now, for saying that, you shall!'

'I really can't, Amy.'

'Bosh! come Captain Devereaux, I wish to be fucked now, this instant. It may be my last chance, if so much depends upon Fanny, as you seem to think. I will not throw away a chance. Come into the stable at once and do what you are bid.'

'I will go into the stable, Amy, but you will see I speak nothing but the truth when I tell you that I am not able to fuck you now.'

I went in.

'Now,' said Amy, 'explain yourself.'

'Here is the best explanation possible,' said I undoing my braces and letting down my trousers. 'Look and see if you can get that into your cunt, Amy.'

Amy raised my shirt and saw me in a state she had never considered possible. My prick hung dead and nerveless, my balls were loose in an elongated and relaxed bag, everything denoted the most marked fatigue.

'You are foxing!' cried Amy angrily, stamping her foot. 'Make it stiff, at once! Do you hear me! Ah! Do Captain Devereaux!' she continued in an imploring tone of voice. 'Don't be so unkind to me.'

I heard her with a mixture of amusement and pain.

I was amused at her thinking I was my prick's master and able to make it stand or not, at my pleasure; and pained that I was really unable to comply with her wishes and fuck her, for I felt if I could gratify her now she would be in better humour and be more inclined to spare Fanny and so soften down the announcement of her triumph.

'Amy dear, I would if I could. But the want of sleep and the painful anxiety about Fanny that I have been under all day have killed me; but try if you can make it stiff yourself! I really am not fooling. I should very much like to fuck you, if I could. Here let us lie down in this grass and while you see what you can do with your hands, I will feel your nice, soft cunt.'

We lay down and Amy cuddled up to me, looking at times into my face with a keen gaze as if to see whether I was deceiving her or not, whilst she handled my prick and my balls in the most voluptuously exciting manner possible. It was of no use whatever. I was in a state of mental and bodily prostration and my prick remained as limp as ever, though my balls gradually drew up into a tighter bunch than they had been in before Amy's gentle fingers titillated them.

After about ten minutes of these mutual caresses I withdrew my hand, wet with her frequent spendings, from between Amy's lovely thighs and said: 'I am afraid we must give up the idea of it, Amy. My prick is too dead. Too tired.'

'Too obstinate and too abominably selfish, you mean,' said Amy in great anger. 'Take that for the sulky beast you are,' and with these words addressed to my prick she suddenly gave it a stinging slap with her hand not only hurting it considerably, but making my poor balls throb with pain.

'Oh, Amy! Oh, my! You have hurt me.'

Now if a woman has a tender place in her heart for anything in this world it is for a man's prick and balls. Let my readers think for a second and nearly all must recollect instances where women of their acquaintances have heard with apparent indifference of men being mutilated in any other particular but have shown the very greatest sympathy and have shuddered when they have been told of the mutilation of prick or balls, or both. Amy was no exception.