Venus of Dreams (39 page)

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Authors: Pamela Sargent

BOOK: Venus of Dreams
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Iris thought of Venus. Terraforming, in its own way, was an extension of fanning, a way of forcing a world to yield to the needs of human beings. Venus, like Earth, would surrender to their efforts for a time, and then strike back at them; each season would bring its own battles. Venus would shape its people as they transformed that world.

Angharad looked up at the hill, then swung her arm in an arc, as if already saying farewell. 

 

 

 

Twenty

 

Benzi awoke early. As he recalled what day this was, he sat up quickly and clutched at his sheet.

I'm leaving today. He tensed, unsure of whether he felt anticipation or fear. He had come to look forward to this day and its adventures; now, he was not so certain that he wanted to leave.

His grandmother came to his room to help him dress; he tolerated her aid even though he already knew how to put on his own clothes. Angharad adjusted his blue tunic, picked up his bag, and then began to whimper softly. Benzi almost started crying, too, but steeled himself. Iris wouldn't want him to cry. Iris, in person, was not quite like the image he had come to know. The image had always been patient and forbearing; the real Iris seemed tense even when she smiled.

He followed his grandmother downstairs, where the rest of the household had gathered in the kitchen for breakfast. Benzi ate his bowl of oatmeal hastily, then sat quietly as the women offered advice to Iris. Constance's long hair was white-gold in the light; LaDonna made a graceful gesture with one long-fingered hand and opened her palm as she spoke. Angharad's eyes were rimmed with red.

He might never see them again. Iris had tried to pretend that when he was older, he might come back to visit, but Angharad had told him the truth. Never. Benzi turned that word over in his mind and was still unable to feel what it really meant. A lump rose in his throat; his breakfast was heavy inside him. If he were sick, maybe he wouldn't be able to go; Iris might have to leave without him. He poked at his belly, then looked up into his mother's green eyes.

Iris stood up. "We'd better go," she said.

Angharad began to wail; Julia was holding her by the shoulders. Arms reached for the boy as each woman demanded a hug; Benzi struggled for air as Wenda and then Elisabeth pressed his face against their chests.

"I can't watch you go," Angharad cried. "I can't watch that floater carry you off." Benzi was about to start crying himself when he felt his mother's hand on his arm.

 

Iris led Benzi through the square for one last look before they turned toward the road leading out of Lincoln to the floater cradle. He thought of the times he had sat in the mayor's office while his grandmother discussed town business with visitors.

A few people were standing in front of their doors as Benzi and Iris passed by; the boy waved at a couple of his friends and their mothers. He had said his farewells to his friends earlier; he hoped that none of them would come to the floater. He knew he would cry if they did.

Laiza and Geri were standing near the floater's ramp. Benzi swallowed. The little girl gazed at him steadily. "Let me see," she said.

Benzi held out his left arm and showed her his new identity bracelet. "You can have all my puzzles, Geri," he said in a burst of generosity. "Just tell Grandmother I said you could."

Laiza hugged Iris, then patted him on the head. At last he was on the ramp, carrying his small bag aboard the floater as he followed Iris into the cabin. She looked around quickly at the passengers, then found an empty seat. Benzi sat down next to her as she stowed her two bags under her seat; he placed his next to hers. He thought of his screen and the toys he was leaving behind; his eyes stung. He peered past Iris at the window next to her, but could see nothing except an empty field shorn of its wheat. His mother was not looking out of the window; her head rested against the back of her seat as her eyes stared ahead.

The door to the cabin closed. A pilot at the front of the cabin looked out at the passengers, and then disappeared behind another door. The field dropped away as the floater rose.

Benzi shifted in his seat, then leaned across the aisle. "I'm going to Venus," he said to a man sitting there.

"Really?"

"With my mother. She's going to work there, and I'm going to a school."

"A school, huh?" The man poked his companion in the ribs. "What do you know. Guess we're getting some high-toned passengers on this trip." He wagged his fingers at Iris, who was ignoring him.

Benzi bounced in his seat. "I'm going to Venus," he called out to a man and woman farther down the aisle.

"Hush," Iris murmured, "and sit still."

He was alone with her now, the woman called his mother. She had her impatient look on her face again, narrowed eyes and tightened lips. She had gone away from him when he was little; he could not remember that, but Angharad had told him about it often enough. She had said that Iris had not wanted to leave him, but Benzi wondered if that was true. If he didn't behave, would Iris leave him again? He stiffened with fear. If she did, how would he find his way back to Lincoln?

I'm going to Venus, he told himself again as he tried to recapture his enthusiasm for this new adventure.

 

The floater stopped at several Plains towns as it moved north, disgorging passengers and swallowing new ones. A few people smiled at Benzi, the only child present, as they boarded. Iris slept as he roamed through the floater, telling the other passengers about his destination. One woman listened patiently as he chattered. A man with a jewel in his forehead, who had come out from one of the rooms in the back of the cabin for something to eat, told Benzi how fortunate he was and even bought the boy a wheat cake stuffed with meat.

Iris found him sitting in the back with the man. She looked as though she were about to scold him before she noticed the man and smiled nervously. The man rose and went back to his room as Iris led Benzi back to their seats.

"He knows about Venus," Benzi said. "He says I might be a settler. He says—" He paused. Iris's eyes were wide, her mouth turned down; she looked unhappy. What was wrong?

"I hope I'm doing the right thing for you," she said softly.

What did that mean? Was Iris sorry she was going to Venus? He thought of his grandmother and the house in Lincoln that already seemed so far away. "Do we have to go?" he blurted out.

"Of course we have to go. The trip's already scheduled."

Benzi sighed. She had not really answered his question.

 

The floater's last stop was at a port outside Winnipeg. It was night when the floater arrived; Benzi glimpsed a sea of lights on the horizon before the airship began to drop toward its cradle. Other cradles, spaced widely apart on the airship field, held floaters; a few were empty. One floater cabin, without its balloon, was rolling on its treads toward a building where it would be cleaned and repaired.

Iris clutched Benzi's hand tightly as they descended the ramp and followed the other passengers toward the nearest building. A wave of sound assaulted the boy as they entered; hundreds of voices were a low, indistinct roar. Another voice, calling out numbers and the names of cities, echoed through the vast enclosure. Benzi blinked at the bright light.

Iris knelt next to him and adjusted the shoulder strap of his bag. "There. Now it won't seem so heavy."

An older boy with a shock of red hair was suddenly at their side. "Where you going?" he asked. "Need a guide?"

Benzi opened his mouth.

"Don't talk to him," Iris said as she stood up. She led him by the hand through a forest of legs. "And keep a grip on your bag," she shouted above the din. He followed more legs into a corridor and down a long ramp until they came to a train.

They hurried aboard and sat down. Benzi had never been on a train before; the car seemed much smaller than the floater cabin. He bounced happily in his seat as the train began to move through the tubeway, then yawned, suddenly realizing how tired he was. Iris propped up her feet on the bags she had wedged into the space between their seats and those in front of them; he rested his head against her leg. He yawned again.

"Don't doze off," she said. "We'll be at the shuttle port soon."

"Is that where the ship is?"

"It's where the shuttle is. I told you. We take a shuttle flight to the Wheel first, and then get on a torchship for Venus." She sounded impatient again. He was about to sit up when she began to stroke his hair; he nestled against her.

The whisper of the magnetic train lulled him; he did not feel it come to a stop and only realized that it had when Iris nudged him. He stumbled off, clinging to her hand, and followed her through more forests of legs until they came to a small waiting room. A scanner beeped; a door opened. Iris led him inside, then took his bag as he stretched out on two seats. He wanted to ask her for a glass of water, but was too tired even to phrase his request.

Benzi dozed off. He was floating above Lincoln, looking down through the shield over his grandmother's courtyard. Someone shook him gently. He sat up, startled at the room full of strangers until he remembered where he was and why he had not awakened in his room.

"Time to go," Iris said.

He straightened his shirt and picked up his bag. The passengers were lining up at another door; a scanner chirped as they passed through it. Benzi followed his mother outside.

They walked across a black surface. The people in front of him moved to one side; now, he could see past them to the shuttle. It stood in the distance on a circle of glowing light, its rounded nose pointed toward the starry night sky.

"Iris!" he gasped.

She squeezed his hand. "Don't be afraid."

I'm not, he wanted to say. His chest swelled as a wild, nameless feeling filled him.

 

Benzi had wanted to experience the beginning of his journey fully, to be completely awake during the moment when he would finally be free of Earth's gravitational bonds, but he was yawning again by the time he entered the tail of the shuttle-craft. He leaned against Iris, barely able to keep his eyes open as he waited for their turn to enter the ship's lift.

The lift carried them up through the center of the shuttle and stopped to let off pairs of other passengers; he and Iris were the last to be deposited at their seats. When they were safely strapped in, a voice began to bleat instructions at them. Iris pulled out a tube from the wide armrest between them, then handed Benzi a tablet.

"Better take it," she said. "You don't want to get sick." He put the tablet into his mouth and sucked some water out of the tube.

The tablet was soon making him groggy. He stared absently at the screen overhead as a voice murmured more words; the screen showed him the dark field on which the shuttle stood. He closed his eyes.

Suddenly, a bright light reddened his closed lids; an invisible, giant hand was pressing him down hard against his seat. Benzi struggled to open his eyes; his lids seemed heavy. The shuttle field was dropping away rapidly; the ship was filled with a loud humming. The port shrank until all he could see were tiny lights against the blackness. Earth became a crescent, then swelled slowly into a blue globe.

Benzi floated up from his seat and twisted against his straps. He laughed, delighted at the sensation of weightlessness, at the feeling of falling endlessly.

"Iris!" he cried happily.

She glanced at him, then covered her mouth with one hand as she frantically thumbed a button on the armrest; she was soon vomiting into a plastic bag.

 

The journey on the shuttle became an adventure. Benzi, under the guidance of one of the shuttle attendants, learned how to propel himself along the corridor between seats using the grips on the floor and ceiling. The attendant instructed the boy in how to use the zero-g bathroom and told Benzi a little about himself. He was a young man from the Plains who had gone to work on the Wheel; he was now working as an attendant while training as a shuttle pilot. He had been in ports all over Earth, had seen cities in many Nomarchies. His life, it seemed, was one long journey punctuated by lively gatherings with friends.

Benzi envied the attendant. After only a few hours on the shuttle, the boy felt as though he had been traveling forever; he no longer wanted the journey to end.

The other passengers, with some exceptions, did not seem so delighted with the trip. A few of them were rarely without plastic bags in their hands. Benzi would float near a passenger, then turn slowly in the air until he was hanging upside down; this was often enough to bring on another fit of vomiting and curses from the unfortunate passenger. Soon, many passengers were hiding behind the partitions that separated their seats from the corridor whenever Benzi began to drift toward them.

Iris had recovered, though she still looked a little pale. After insisting that Benzi get some sleep, she seemed content to let him play with a numbered cube he had brought along in his bag or to let him wander the corridor. Even when she smiled at him, her green eyes seemed sad.

What could be wrong, Benzi wondered. Was she sorry to be leaving Earth? Was she sorry she had brought him along? Benzi did not dwell on those questions for long. He had the ship to explore, and an attendant to talk with; Lincoln was already fading in his mind.

 

After a second period of sleep, Benzi awoke to catch his first sight of the Wheel on his overhead screen. The Wheel was a large white circular tube slowly turning around a darker hub; tubular spokes ran from the hub to the Wheel's inner rim. As the shuttle approached the hub, the Wheel's docks became visible and Benzi could see the six torchships the decks held. The ships disappointed him at first, reminding him of metal slugs, but as they drew nearer, he could see how large they actually were. One torchship could enclose several shuttles; he could not even begin to guess how many passengers such a ship could hold.

A bay higher up along the Wheel's hub opened to receive the shuttle. By the time Benzi and his mother had disembarked, the Wheel had become only another place of crowds, large lighted spaces, and elevators through which Iris dragged him until they arrived at another bay, where a small vessel with runners was to carry them out to the ship. The attendant had explained all of that to Benzi earlier.

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