Vicious (22 page)

“Harder. I want to
feel
it,” I ordered him. He obeyed, thrusting in harder, and I brought my legs around him, drawing him into me and trapping him like I was a spider, and he was fly caught in my web. For once, I felt like the predator. I cried out as he thrust in again and picked up speed. I felt it start to build in me, and I clenched around him. I bit his shoulder, and he gave a cry, before placing his hand at my throat to hold me down. I liked this; I liked my body being owned by him, I liked trembling around him. It made me feel wanted, and I came.

Hard.

When I woke in the early morning, the world outside was grey with mist. Damon still slept silently, warm underneath the furs covering him. He looked peaceful in sleep, and I quietly
slid out from beneath the covers, careful not to disturb him. The chill of the morning hit me as I stepped outside and onto the platform. It didn’t bother me that I was naked because there was no one around to see. As I stood, bare and vulnerable, staring at the mountains and the trees and the sea, the cold of the morning felt cleansing somehow. For the first time, I felt nearly clean.

I removed the cover of the hot tub, and just as Damon had said, the water was hot and steam r
ose from it. I dipped a foot in; the temperature was bearable, and I slid all of my body in. A shock of warmth enveloped my cold skin, and I smiled as I leaned my head back. I saw an eagle with a creature in its claws fly past. Other birds cried out. This world may have been void of humans, but it was teeming with other creatures who lived just as we did; by the rules of survival of the fittest.

Damon came out twenty minutes later, naked as well
, and he joined me in the water. He didn’t say anything; he didn’t even look my way. For a moment, I wondered if I were intruding in his world. This was obviously his special place.

“This is amazing,” I told him. “I think that I could live out here forever. It’s not like we’re in the real wor
ld. It’s like we’re in a better one.”

“I’ll live up here one day.” His eyes
surveyed the view, taking it in before he turned to face me. “I’m letting you go.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll give you enough funds to set yourself up in a position better than the one you were in before and—“

“Why?” I interrupted with force.

“Because you’ve served your purpose,” he said coldly. I let out a bitter laugh at his choice of words. “You were with me to piss off Damon, now he’s dead, there’s no point in keeping you anymore.”

I processed
his words, and didn’t like the stirring they set off inside me.

“And what if I told you I wanted to stay?” I challenged.

He met my gaze head on. “I sicken you,
remember?
”

“No. Not
anymore.”

He frowned. “Why would you want to stay? If it’s the money, I will make sure that you are well provided for.”

I moved over to him suddenly, placing myself in between his legs. I cupped his face as he stared down at me. “Because you are just as unlovable as I am. You’re so cold that I’m sure that your heart must be made of ice. You are
nothing
like Damon, and I like that. You’re not second best, because you two do not compare. You are different in every way. In your own way, I guess, you’re
perfect
.” This last word, I whispered in his ear. I felt like a seductress, a temptress, weaving her spell and securing her place. “Let me stay and I will make you want me.” I kissed his wet skin; I sucked at him to leave my mark. He was still beneath my touch, and I had no way of knowing what was locked in his mind. But I did know how to make his body respond.

My hand wandered down
underneath the water to stroke at his cock which was hardening in its familiar way. That, at least, was predictable. I continued to kiss at his neck, trailing down to the base of his throat. I licked his skin, and when I felt him ready, I mounted him. He slipped readily inside me like my body was made for his. He wasn’t looking at me though; he seemed to be looking past my shoulder. His detachment spurred me on, and I moved against him with speed. Fuck him, I would only think of my own pleasure.

I shivered against him as I drew close. The only indication that he was enjoying what I was doing to him was when his hands curved into my back and brought me closer against him. I panted and tried to suppress the moans which were desperate to
escape from me. Then I thought: who cares? Not Damon, not the eagles or their prey. I let loose, my cries echoing around me as I quivered and came on top of him.

His nails dug into me as he came at the same time. He held me tight down on him as he shuddered against me. I should have smiled at that,
and I should have felt some triumph, but there was only uncertainty.

He rested his head against my shoulder as he tried to catch his breath. I waited there, motionless beneath him. When he lifted his head and delivered a kiss to my neck, I started to move,
grabbing the back of his head with my hands so he had no choice but to look at me.

“Keep me,” I told him. “Don’t send me away.”

He didn’t answer me; his response was to stand and climb out of the hot tub. I watched him, feeling forgotten already, but then he turned and offered me his hand. I took it hesitantly and climbed out after him. He led me into the cabin where our two dripping wet bodies made love again in front of the fire. Nothing else seemed to matter right then.

We screwed, fucked, mated …whatever you liked to call it, in every area of the cabin. I felt like an animal, horny and single-minded. Thoughts of Damon and death escaped me, or at the very least, seemed minimalized. The only things that mattered were Damon and I, trapped together in this cabin like it was our very own purgatory, or heaven, or hell.

We spent most of our time naked. There was no need for clothes. There was no one to see us
, and without me even realizing it, I didn’t care that Brody saw me nude. I didn’t feel vulnerable anymore. In fact, it felt nearly natural. Perhaps this was what people called being at one with nature, with only wildlife for company.

Brody
seemed lighter. If he had the world on his shoulders in the city, out here that weight shifted gradually, day by day he loosened and seemed less tense. I sat on a bar stool, wearing only one of his t-shirts and watched him prepare a salad. He expertly chopped vegetables before carefully arranging them in a bowl for each of us.

“You should have been a chef,” I told him. “You’re like an artist with those vegetables.”

He smiled. “I like food, always have. That’s what I wanted to be when I was a kid. Everything we ate in my house came out of a can and did not taste good.”

“Your mom didn’t like cooking?” I watched as he cut through a tomato, for a moment I had visions of the boy I had killed dancing through my head, but I shook it off and forced a smile.

“She didn’t have a lot of energy. She was depressed most of the time…” The knife cut through the tomato cleanly.

“How did she die?”

He paused and met my eyes. “Can’t you guess? You and I have more in common than you’d think.”

I reached over and touched his hand. The memory of finding my mother during her first
- suicide attempt was always fresh in my mind. “Except no one came along and put your mother in a luxury facility. Thank you, Brody. I don’t know if I ever said that, but I am thankful.”

“Even if my intentions weren’t pure?” he asked softly.
I took the knife from his hand and took over the cutting.

“None
of us is perfect. Every single one of us is selfish and makes mistakes.” I butchered the tomato, and he laughed lightly and took possession of them once again.

“You sound wise beyond your years.”

It was my turn to laugh. “Is that a compliment? I think that’s the first one that I’ve ever had from you.”

He shrugged but couldn’t hide his smile.

The next day we went hiking. We walked mainly in silence, with only nature as our soundtrack. That was okay though, because with Brody, there wasn’t that deafening silence that made everyone uncomfortable. It was almost scary just how comfortable I was in his presence. We came across a stream and made love beside it, before washing ourselves in its icy water.

I shrieked in shock, but Brody
just laughed. “It’s character building,” he said. That was the nicest day, when everything appeared to be right with the world. The next day we would return to the city, and who knew what would happen then.

Lisa met me for lunch. Polished
and spectacular as always, the waiters knew her by name and which wine she liked to drink.

“You’ll love this,” she told me as she indicated to the waiter to fill my glass, the diamonds on her rings flashing. Then she peered at my bare fingers. “Why hasn’t Brody bought you
jewelry?”
I didn’t want to tell her that our relationship was really just a business arrangement from the start. What it was now though, I wasn’t sure. I slept in his bed every night; he was almost playful with me and not half as stern and unsmiling as he used to be.

I sipped my wine to avoid having to answer, but Lisa wouldn’t let it go that easily. “You should make him buy you some
jewelry so that you have a collection when you breakup.”

“Maybe we won’t break
up,” I pointed out.

She gave me an indulgent smile as if I were someone to be pitied. “Don’t be so naïve. Men like Michae
l and Brody, men who have power; they get bored after a while.” She pointed her fork at me. “You need to look out for yourself.”

I let out a slight laugh. “Are you scared Michael’s going to leave you?”

“Of course. That’s what men like him do. I did well getting him to marry me in the first place.” She looked pained, and I guessed that if she hadn’t been botoxed to the hilt then she would be frowning.

“That’s so sad.” I looked around the restaurant. Every woman here seemed a clone of Lisa, getting older and more plastic.

“That’s life.” She used her fork to spear a slice of pear from her salad, but she didn’t eat it, she only looked at it as if thinking of the damage that a calorie from that measly piece of fruit could do to her body.

I thought about what she said. I thought about Brody getting
sick of me and casting me aside. The thought of it made me sick and it was all I could think of. I seemed to lose everyone, and I didn’t want to lose him as well.

After dinner one night, we walked on the beach together. Not hand in hand, but someti
mes the backs of our hands would touch by accident, and I felt a shiver go through me. It was that shiver, that electric shock, that acted as a warning. He had snuck up on me without me knowing, probably without even intending to.

“Do you still want me to go?” I asked him. It had been well over a month since we went to the cabin
, and he had told me that he would let me go.

His eyes darted to me in surprise. “No. Why would you think that?”

I let out a sigh. “Because Lisa said…she said that men like you get bored easily.” I held my breath, and I waited for his response.

“Lisa,” he sighed. “Don’t liste
n to Lisa about anything. That girl’s been screwed up since day one. Ending up with Michael only adds to her paranoia.”

“Oh.”

He stopped and took my hand. “What else did she say?”

I gave a slight laugh, feeling stupid. “She asked why I didn’t have some great big
jewelry collection to support myself with when you cast me aside.” I expected him to laugh with me, but he didn’t.

“Is that what you want?
For me to buy you jewelry and flowers and all that crap? Because I can if you want, I just thought you weren’t into that kind of stuff. You’re so different than most girls.”

“I don’t want to be different though. I want to be…normal.” What was that though? Normal.

He was staring at me with an intensity, and I nearly shrank away from him. “I like how you are. I like your irrational moon worshipping. I like how you can be quiet, but you’re tough at the same time.”

I pulled away from him, taking a step back. “I don’t want you to
like
me. I want you to
love
me like I love you.” The words exploded from me, and I should have been embarrassed at my openness, but I wasn’t. I was more desperate than anything.

I saw his eyes widen slightly in alarm, and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat. “Violet…I tho
ught you said we were unlovable,” he muttered.

“I lied,” I blurted out.

He swallowed, then looked down at the sand as if he would find something there. It was a full minute before he looked back at me. “It’s late and I have work to do. We should head back.”

I took a breath, scared that I might forget how to breathe
amidst all the desperation in me that was bubbling to the surface. He may as well have slapped me clean across the face. I sucked in another breath, before putting that stone mask back in place. “You go on. I’m going to walk for a bit more.”