Vicious Is The Name That They Gave Me: A Philly Story (21 page)

Chapter 35

Vicious

              A week later…

              Things could not get any better between Kassidy, Tori and I. I mean, we’ve been hanging out together, going to the mall, and have been a family. I’ve never been so happy like how I am right now. Taking the life of my mother I regret, but then I don’t. She put me on this earth and I took her off this earth.
Should I have taken a chance and let her go to prison with possible parole to come back on the streets and ruin more girls lives? Or should I have done what I did and taken her out of her misery so she can’t hurt more girls?
God, I pray that you will forgive me for what I have done. I could not take the risk of my mother ruining other girls’ lives.

              I sat beside Simya in the hospital. She was still bleeding internally and they can’t get the bullet out of her. Some days she talks and some days she is not talking. Some days she can breathe on her own and some days she needs the oxygen mask. I have strong faith in Simya that she will pull through.
Simya you have to pull through.

“Hey, girl,” I said to Simya.

“Hey,” Simya had tubes going through her nose before until she started breathing on her own, they removed it. She does utter her words a few times.

“How are you feeling, sweetie?” I asked her. I looked at the clock. It was time for her lunch. The nurse came in with Simya’s lunch.

“I’m alright,” she said. I got up to help her sit up. “Thanks,” she said to the nurse. I could tell she was in pain.

“You are welcome and do you need anything else?” The nurse asked as she brought Simya apple juice along with her lunch and put it closer to her. Simya turned her head away.

“I’m going to get you some real food,” I joked.

“I have to eat light,” Simya said.

“I will go and get you some real light food,” I said to her. She smiled.

“Alright,” she said. Simya didn’t touch her food. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. When I got up, I heard a long beeping noise.
You know, the sound where the person is not breathing anymore? Yup that’s the sound I heard.
I turned around and saw Simya laying there with a smile on her face. She was at peace.
God took her to a peaceful place.
Plenty of times she’d fall asleep and wake back up. That beeping noise was confirmation that Simya was not waking back up. I walked over to her to give her a kiss on her forehead. I moved out the way so the medical staff can prepare her body for the next step. Simya was an amazing person. She was so beautiful on the outside and the inside. I still regret everything that happened. Kassidy and Tori came into the room to comfort me.

“She’s gone,” I said crying.

“It’s going to be okay,” Kassidy told me

“Rest in peace Simya. Rest in peace,” I cried on Kassidy’s shoulder. She was the best friend I could ever have. No other friend can take her place. Kassidy and Tori wrapped their arms around me and that reminded me I still had them.

“It’s going to be okay,” Tori said. I cried some more. I believed I was going to be okay. We are going to be okay. I will always carry Simya in my heart wherever I go and I hope she watches over us.

              Memories came back to me. Simya and I were so close. We did so much together. I will never forget the things she taught me. She was s real sister to me. I am not talking about getting money together and all that other shit. I am talking about the connection that happened while we spent time together. We would sit on porch outside and talk about everything. We talked about our dreams. We talked about what we planned to do after we leave the squad. As I got to know Simya more, I have gotten to see the Simya that no one else knew. How she got involved with the squad is horrible. Simya was an inspiring girl that showed me a light. She was better than Kareema. Simya always checked on me to make sure I was okay. Whatever I needed she made sure I had it. She introduced me to a very special guy that I will always thank her for.
Love you Simya.

Four Years Later…….

Vicious

              Moving to Florida was a good choice for me. Taye and I are engaged. We own a gorgeous five-bedroom house in a quiet neighborhood. He completed his degree and works for a global construction company. He is a Crew Foreman and he oversees his department. He is also on the board as a member of the construction union. I completed my G.E.D. program and I am in college for accounting.  I work with an international company that makes pharmaceutical products. I am a Senior Accounts Representative intern and I love what I do. Taye and I have a six-month old daughter name Simya. I thought it was a blessing to have a daughter with the man I am in love with and engaged to. I recently got in contact with my father and I thank God for everything that has happened.
It turns out God never did leave me.

              I still keep in contact with Kassidy and Tori to see how they are doing. Kassidy was telling me the other day that Jezebel died from an overdose. The feds arrested Tonya on several charges including the murder of Chanelle.
Justice finally got served.
Tonya is being sentenced to life in prison. Taye and I recently started going to church last month and we love it. When Taye told me he wanted to become the deacon of our church I supported him as we decided to get Simya baptized. I made sure I gave Kassidy and Tori an invitation. I want to raise our daughter to attend church, sing in the choir, attend Sunday school, and be involved in a Christian life. Taye and I got baptized last month. I still listen to my R&B, Rap, but I also listen to a lot of Gospel. Being with Taye has made a dramatic impact on my life. Having Simya has changed my life. Having my father and my sister Imani around has changed my life. I love being around Taye’s mother and his sisters and they love me. I told him about my past and he didn’t judge me. He didn’t judge me at all. I got to know the real me. I don’t know about Kassidy and Tori but I feel a big difference between dirty money and clean money. I do not have to worry about someone coming after me. I just worry about my daughter and Taye. With the money from the squad, I gave some to charity and invested the rest. I would rather start fresh with everything than to keep dirty money around. A new life is what I have now.
God has been so good to me. I see now why I went through everything. I am so much stronger than I have ever been. God, thank you for my family and giving me another chance.

Chapter 36

Kassidy

              I live in Atlanta, GA not too far from my cousin. Carmelo is seven years old and is in second grade. He is so smart and the teachers love him. He is at the top of his class. Before I left Philly, I saw Roc. I still remember everything that happen that day when he came by.

              Tamika and I were packing my son’s clothes getting things ready to leave; I heard a knock at my door. Carmelo was in the living room playing with Tamika’s nephew. When I walked over to open the door, I looked out the window and saw Roc standing there. I opened it.

“Yeah,” I said to him. I didn’t welcome him in my house. He didn’t deserve to see Carmelo, but if he wanted to, the opportunity could take place. He was never there for my pregnancy or Carmelo and he never tried to be. Always lying and shit about how we were going to be a real family and start a better life for our son.
But that never happened.
He was too busy fucking all over Philly to even provide a bottle, diapers, clothes, or better yet be a fucking father to his child. He was not concerned with any of that. I could have been one of the spiteful baby mamas and put him on child support.
I refuse to take care of my son with drug money again.
So he can keep his money and give them to his other babies’ mamas.
I don’t need his contribution. I never did.

“How is he?” he asked.

“He’s doing well. Would you like to see him?” I asked. I could not let Roc not see his child. No matter how much he hurt me it would not be fair to Carmelo. I am not in love with Roc anymore but I have love for him. What he showed me is that I will never settle down with a man for.
So thank you Roc for making me a better woman because you showed me what to never take from another niggah.

“I didn’t come to stay long. I just came to drop this off,” He said handing me an envelope. I didn’t accept it.

“What’s that?” I asked him. I did not want any of his drug money anymore. I am not raising my son with drug money.

“It’s for you and Carmelo. You’re going to need it,” he said.
No I’m not.
I do not want your drug money and I do not need it.
I don’t want any blood on my hands. I already have enough.

“No, I’m cool. We’re good and we don’t need it,” I said.

“Here, yes you do,” He kept pressuring me and I kept resisting. I want to start off clean.

“What makes you think I need money from you all of a sudden? Have I ever asked you for money? No, right? I asked you to be in your child’s life. You choose not to. So you can leave now,” I told him. I thought he would stay and argue like he usually does, instead Roc walked away leaving the envelope in the mailbox. I thought about taking it, but it would leave a trail that I don’t want. I want money that is legit. Not money he took from somebody, not money he made by selling drugs, not money somebody paid him unless he went to a real job clocked in to start work and clocked out after work. I am not saying I am too good for his money. I just want clean money from now on.

              I will never forget where I came from. I will never forget what I was about and what I use to do for money. I am going to teach my son about the ways of life and let him know the answer is not in the streets. As for my love life I am not focusing on that at the moment. I feel like I should be focusing on my son and me. When the time is right, the person I should be with will come into my life. I went back to school and got my degree in interior design. So far, I have designed for large corporations, real estate developers, and residential. I wish I could say that Roc was a changed man. He was killed two year ago. I check on Vicious, Tori, and Tamika. Tamika told me that she and Mae are doing very well. I am so proud of them. It feels so good not to have to worry if someone is after me. I still keep the girls we lost in my spirit. I still think about my sister. I miss her so much.

Rest in peace

Chanelle, Dymond and Constance.

Chapter 37

Tori

              Malik and I had a baby boy named Isaiah a year ago. He is one-year-old and is so adorable. He looks just like Malik. I’ll have to admit I did not think Malik and I would be in a relationship and have a child. We both were wild and just reckless being involved in the streets. After what happened in Philly, I decided it really was time to change. Life is so much better now. I had to move out of Philly. When I told Malik that I was moving, he said he was coming as well. I thought he was joking until he showed up at my front door steps with his bags. He explained that he wanted a new life and he wanted it with me. We live in Richmond, Virginia. I am happy for the other girls. I talk with all of them every week. We visit each other when we can. I love talking to them. Being around Malik in a different environment, he is not the same as the other guys. He is a very compassionate. He is very affectionate. This may not seem like a big thing but it is to me. He is always opening my door, whether it’s the car door, front door, store door, whatever door. He’s good in bed but so am I.
That’s not why I’m with him though.
He is so sweet and loves being home. He doesn’t mind spending time with me and his son. He doesn’t mind watching Isaiah while I go out. I’ve met new friends and their names are Kenya and Joanne. They are the only two I hang out with. I do not need a whole gang of friends around me.
But yeah, Isaiah and Malik are my everything.

              I went to school to get my degree in early childhood development. I have started a business of my own. I started an early childcare development center. I have already opened two locations here in Virginia. Just taking care of my family is my number one priority. I am so much stronger now than I have ever been.

Tamika

              Mae and I moved to New York. Keeping Mae in Philly would not have been helpful. After her completion of rehab, she wanted to leave and get away. Mae is currently working in a doctor’s office as a Medical Assistant and she is going to a community college. She is not sure what she wants to do. As long as she is in school trying to make something of her life and not running the streets, I am fine with that. She has one friend that she brings to the house, Madison. Out of all of Mae’s friends, I like Madison the most. The way Mae talks about her, I know Madison would be a good friend for Mae.

              As for me, I’ve opened up my own natural hair beauty salon. It took me a minute to hire a few stylists since I had to make sure I checked them out. My shop is called
Tamika’s.
My staff is a total of eight employees including a receptionist. My shop is doing very well and is well-known in town. What happened in Philly is what led me and Mae to New York for a life change. I will never be happy with the lives that have been lost. I speak with Kassidy almost every night.
All I can say is, what happened in Philly was for a reason. Mae and I are in a better place.

Author Ive

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