Authors: Rebecca Shaw
‘My dear Caroline, what a privilege.’ His voice, more
suited to Stratford than Turnham Malpas, turned Caroline’s knees to jelly. This gesture of his, this kissing of her hand and the holding of it for longer than was really necessary brought the eyes of the entire congregation to rest on her.
She blushed, and she hadn’t blushed for years. When in her consulting room, people confided in her the most intimate details of their lives and she never batted an eyelid, never blushed, never ever. And yet here she was behaving like an empty-headed teenager.
‘How do you do? I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been so ill. We’ll have to hope that the peace and quiet here will …’
‘I shan’t
hasten
to get well, not with charming people like you in the village.’ Caroline appeared to have been pole-axed.
Harriet felt the need to intervene. ‘Caroline’s a doctor.’
‘In that case, if I’m taken ill I shall be able to rely on you to cool my fevered brow.’
‘I don’t know about that, you see …’
Hugo dismissed her hesitation with a sweeping gesture of his hand. ‘I won’t hear of you refusing to come to my aid. I cannot forgo the thrill of your stethoscope pressed to my manly chest.’ There were muffled giggles from someone way behind him and Caroline blushed even redder.
‘I was going to say that it’s not medical etiquette for me to attend another doctor’s patient.’
Hugo struck a pose, one hand on his heart and the other clasping his forehead. ‘Not even in an emergency! Am I cast out from all medical assistance to die miserably and alone for the sake of
etiquette
?’ The last word, delivered with passion, and loud enough to wake Jimmy’s geese on the village pond, fell on the delighted ears of the entire congregation. It had been some time since they had enjoyed so much free entertainment.
Hugo gave Caroline a huge wink, bunched his fingers, kissed them and trotted meekly after his friend.
With his mother on his arm Jimbo passed close by Caroline as Hugo left. Jimbo’s mother wore severe disapproval across every inch of her perfectly made-up face. She and Caroline had long ago patched up their differences but it appeared that in one brief moment of time their friendship had been shattered. With a sharp nod of recognition replacing her normally gracious conversation she swept by. Jimbo raised his eyes to heaven and shrugged his shoulders apologetically.
The congregation began to disperse. Peter had disappeared inside to remove his surplice, Willie was waiting to lock up, the twins were chasing each other among the gravestones and Caroline realised it was time she remembered her duty.
‘Alex, Beth! Come quickly now! We’ll get the kettle on, Daddy will be wanting his coffee.’
‘Mummy! That man kissed you.’
‘Yes, Beth, he did.’
‘What will Daddy say?’
Ever at the ready to pour scorn on Beth’s statements, Alex replied, ‘Daddy won’t mind. After all, he only kissed her hand.’
‘I know, but he shouldn’t. He’s cheeky. She’s my Mummy.’ Beth squeezed hold of Caroline’s hand and kissed it herself.
‘And she’s mine, and I say he can kiss her hand.’
‘Well, I don’t. I shall ask Daddy if he minds.’
‘No, darling, don’t do that. Mr Maude is an actor and they’re inclined to be a bit …’
‘Bit what?’
‘Well, they’re inclined to exaggerate everything. They go a bit over the top.’
Alex studied this statement while Caroline unlocked the Rectory door. ‘It was only your hand. So it’s nothing really.’
‘You went ever so red, Mummy.’
‘Did I?’
‘Yes, you did. Red like a beetroot.’
‘Thanks. Do you both want coffee, or orange, or what?’
While they argued with each other as to what they would have Caroline filled the kettle and began to get out the mugs. She heard the front door slam. ‘Ready for coffee?’
‘Please.’ Caroline turned to look at Peter. He was standing in the kitchen doorway looking at her. Her heart flipped. She loved him so. Compared with Hugo ridiculous Maude he was a gem. His wonderful thatch of red-blond hair, his vivid blue eyes, his fair skin, the width of his shoulders, his energy and his love for mankind, all set her trembling with love for him.
Beth pulled out a chair. ‘Sit next to me, Daddy. I’m having coffee too, Mummy, please.’
‘And me!’ Alex pulled out a chair the other side of Peter and sat on it. ‘Daddy! Did you know that Mr Maude is an actor?’
‘He is indeed. I’ve seen him once, a long time ago. In London. In
Macbeth
’
‘What’s
Macbeth
?’
‘A play by Shakespeare.’
‘Was he good?’
‘Oh yes, very impressive. In fact very good indeed, I think the best I’ve seen.’
‘Mummy says actors behave like that.’
‘Like what?’
‘Kissing people and that.’
‘Yes, they do. Very emotional they are.’ Peter looked up at Caroline and winked as she handed him his coffee.
She had to laugh. ‘He really did make me feel a fool.’
‘I could see that. This coffee’s welcome. What shall we do this afternoon? Do we have any plans?’
Hugo’s plan to retire to his bedroom and lie down for the rest of the afternoon suited everyone. Harriet, because she’d had more than she could take of him at the lunch table; Jimbo, because Hugo had grated on his nerves and he was forced to admit to a tinge of jealousy which didn’t sit easily on his shoulders; the children, because they couldn’t get a word in edgeways as he wouldn’t stop talking; and Grandmama, because she knew he spelt trouble with a capital T.
‘Have you two girls finished? If you have your Grandmama has something for you in her handbag which you can take into the sitting room and play with.’
Five-year-old Fran jumped up and down with excitement. Flick, at twelve, recognised the subterfuge and wished she couldn’t see through her Grandmama’s every move. But it would only be boring conversation about Hugo and the threat he posed to one and all, so she might as well fall for it. ‘Lovely, Grandmama. Come along, Fran.’ They retired with some magic tricks in little plastic bags, leaving the field clear for Grandmama’s tirade.
‘That man …’
Jimbo hastily said to his son, ‘Fergus, close that door just
in case.’ When Fergus had reclaimed his chair, his Grandmama continued. ‘That man is a charlatan, a chameleon and a sham. The sooner he leaves this house the better.’
Finlay chuckled. ‘Wow! You’re getting quite poetic, Grandmama.’
He received a withering glance. ‘This is not a laughing matter, young man. Jimbo! You must get rid of him.’
Jimbo caught Harriet’s eye and acknowledged the warning in them. ‘As a matter of fact I quite like the chap. In any case, Mother, it’s up to Harriet and me who stays in our house. He poses no threat here.’
‘No threat? You must be blind.’ She thumped the table with her clenched fist. ‘Blind! He wants kicking out. Convalescing indeed. More like out of work or, as they euphemistically call it in the acting profession, resting.’
Finlay chuckled again. ‘He is.’
‘He is what?’
‘Resting.’ He pointed to the ceiling. Grandmama, as he was well aware, didn’t have much of a sense of humour. She snorted. ‘Sometimes you talk in riddles.’
‘Mother-in-law! He almost died he was so ill. He lives alone, he needs a family to care for him. Don’t worry. Before long he’ll get an offer he can’t refuse, he’ll go dashing off and we shan’t see him again for years. He’s a close friend of Jimbo’s, isn’t he, darling?’ Jimbo nodded. ‘And of mine too. It’s the least we can do.’
‘Jimbo! Are you head of this house or not?’
‘I am.’
‘Then take my word for it, he is trouble. If you’ll excuse me I’ll be off now. I have two friends coming for afternoon tea and I need to get organised.’ She collected her handbag and offered her cheek for Jimbo to kiss. ‘Cast this viper out from your bosom, Jimbo. Listen to your mother for once. Bye bye, Harriet. Thank you for yet another delightful
lunch, I do look forward to Sunday lunch with you all. Bye bye, boys.’ She opened the dining-room door, went through it and then came back in. ‘And another thing. Caroline Harris had no business to let him kiss her hand. Disgraceful behaviour outside church, with everyone watching. She blushed like a schoolgirl. I expect Peter will have something to say to her about that and no mistake.’
On summer Sunday evenings Peter and Caroline had dinner together after Peter returned from Evensong. With the children tucked up in bed they enjoyed an intimate meal, which Caroline always took a great deal of care over. The wine had been chilled, the steak was almost ready, the sauce bubbled very gently in the pan and the vegetables were already in the tureens in the oven keeping warm, when she heard Peter’s key in the door.
‘I’m back and I’m seriously in need of sustenance.’
‘So am I! I’ve opened the wine. Won’t be a moment.’
Peter came into the kitchen. He’d removed his cassock and was wearing his dark trousers and clerical collar with a grey short-sleeved shirt.
‘Take your collar off, you look hot.’
He undid his back stud and peeled off his collar, placing it with the stud on top of the fridge freezer. ‘Quite a lot there tonight.’
‘Makes a change.’
‘It does indeed. Just as I begin to think I shall suggest finishing with Evensong I get a good congregation and I have a rethink.’
Caroline gave Peter a cloth. ‘Here, take the vegetables in. I’ve served the meat straight onto the plates.’
Peter put down the tureens on the dining table and picked up the bottle of wine. ‘Where on earth did this wine come from? Chile! Oh my word.’
‘If there’s one person I don’t like it’s a wine snob.’
‘Sorry! You’re quite right. If I like it, what does it matter where it comes from.’
‘Maybe you had a big congregation because they all hoped Hugo Maude would appear.’
‘Well, he didn’t.’
‘I’m in trouble because of him.’
He looked up, his mouth full of steak, and mumbled, ‘Why?’
‘Grandmama Charter-Plackett doesn’t approve of me any longer because of what happened outside church.’
‘No wonder.’
‘Living in an ancient village like this one, they can get too … what’s the word I’m looking for?’
‘Don’t know. Shall I finish the peas?’
‘Yes, I don’t want any more. Too narrow minded. In fact, almighty prim. They need their horizons widening. All he is, is a bit of fun. Liven us all up. I hope he stays for a while.’
‘So do I. But, darling, please be very circumspect won’t you? Rector’s wife and all that.’
Caroline put down her knife and fork, drank a little of her wine and muttered, ‘Here we go again.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘I said, “Here we go again.”’
‘Sorry, but you know …’
‘I know. By the way I’m going back to work as soon as I can get a job. I’ve decided. General practice. I like that best.’
He restrained himself from being protective, there was nothing more sure to make her go ahead finding a job than him putting the brakes on her. ‘That’s a good idea, darling, you must be feeling better.’
‘I can hear the disapproval in your voice, but I am feeling
better and it’s ridiculous for an intelligent woman of my years with my professional qualifications not to be using them.’
‘Of course. I quite agree. But Sylvia’s cut down her hours. How will you cope?’
Caroline said, ‘I wouldn’t be full time, not like I was when the twins first went to playgroup. Probably just filling in for sickness and the like.’
‘Well, that might be different then. You could do, say, three full days.
‘Well, I haven’t got a position yet so we’ll wait and see.’
‘Are you sure? You’ve been so ill.’ He reached across the table and took hold of her hand. ‘I’ve only just got my confidence back about the chances of your survival. It has been a dreadfully challenging time for my faith, your illness.’
Caroline gripped his hand. ‘I know, darling, I know. But I am well and, touch wood, I’m definitely here to stay. OK?’
‘And the children, they haven’t been the easiest of offspring, have they? Will you manage, do you think?’
‘They take after their father, don’t they?’
Peter pretended to scowl. ‘Hey, less of that!’
Caroline laughed. ‘Well, they do. Alex is so like you in his ways, and Beth just follows whatever he does. When I think of your stories about what you got up to when you were a boy, he’s going to be just like that.’
Peter answered her abruptly. ‘I would have preferred it if you’d spoken with me first, before you decided.’
‘What?’
‘Going back into practice.’