Read Vintage: A Ghost Story Online
Authors: Steve Berman
Tags: #Runaway Teenagers, #Gay Teenagers, #Social Issues, #Ghost Stories, #Problem Families, #New Jersey, #Horror, #Family Problems, #Homosexuality, #Fiction, #Runaways, #Horror & Ghost Stories, #Love & Romance, #Suicide, #Horror Stories, #Ghosts, #Goth Culture (Subculture), #Juvenile Fiction
© 2007 by Steve Berman. This paperback edition is © 2008. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, mi crofilm, and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Printed in the United States of America.
Published by Lethe Press, 118 Heritage Avenue, Maple Shade, NJ 08052-3018.
www.lethepressbooks.com
[email protected]
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Vintage : a ghost story / Steve Berman.
p. cm.
Summary: A lonely seventeen-year-old who has dreamed of meeting a different and special boy desperately seeks help from his friend Trace, a Goth girl, to free him from the clutches of a handsome ghost he has met on a rural New Jersey highway.
ISBN 1-59021-053-0
[1. Ghosts--Fiction. 2. Homosexuality--Fiction. 3. Family problems--Fiction. 4.
Goth culture (Subculture)--Fiction. 5. New Jersey--Fiction. 6. Horror stories.]
I. Title.
PZ7.B45423Vin 2008
[Fic]--dc22
2008001030
You were the reader this book was meant for. I can only hope that somehow these words might reach you.
As this work evolved over several years, I owe thanks to many readers who shared their thoughts on drafts: Oliver Koble, who serialized an early version on a gay Goth Web site; Sharyn November, who offered excellent comments that added to the macabre tone of the book; Lawrence Schimel, for providing infallible career advice; Dianna Muzaurieta for criticism that honed the characters; and Greg Herren, who believed in my work and in me.
An author depends on more than help with manuscripts; writing would be a much lonelier and less bearable trade without the support of loved ones. I have to thank Theo Black, and my childhood best friend, Evan Cutler, for not letting me quit. I am grateful to Mike Thomas, who I met through working on the book; he helped me through bleak times and welcomed each chapter. My family encouraged my aspirations and ignored the grow ing stacks of books with which I filled the house. Without my nephew, A.J., I would never have remained sane during the final draft, as he helped with the last, troublesome revisions. My gratitude culminated with one person, my own personal Trace: Holly Black. No one has had a truer friend, no writer a better colleague, no soul a more welcome spirit, than hers. She coerced and cajoled me through the process and, when I finally sold the book, I called her first.
B ored that afternoon, I was thankful when Trace suggested we attend a funeral. The September weather gave the air a wonderful crispness. At any moment I expected to shiver even though I wore a thick wool suit borrowed from the vintage clothing shop where I worked. Above me, the sky was clear except for a scattering of clouds, each a tired white against the blue.
Trace sat on the headstone next to me and slipped off her shoes to wiggle black-stockinged feet. I looked at her and felt slightly envious of how beautiful she was. Her long, black hair draped over her shoulders. She wore a sable-colored velvet dress. Even her toenails were dark; I had polished them just days ago with a bottle of cheap lacquer called “Evening’s Hue.” Except for a full face and the tips of her hands hidden deep into her sleeves, she might have been a shadow.
We both turned back to the funeral, a crowded affair down at the bottom of the cemetery slope. I counted over twenty people. Now and then some one would glance over his or her shoulder, and I wondered what they thought of us. Some strange black sheep coming to pay last respects at a distance? Lost mourners?
“Nobody dies of consumption anymore.” Trace’s lips pouted.
“They call it TB these days,” I said.
Trace nodded. “Yeah, but that doesn’t carry the same . . . I don’t know, weight. All the cool medical terms have been left behind. ‘Ague.’ ‘Dropsy.’” She stretched her arms wide, threatening to unbalance herself. “Doesn’t that sound delicious? ‘Dropsy.’”
“What did he die from?” I gestured toward the coffin below.
Trace looked at the funeral and chewed on her lower lip. Looking for a good show, she would scan the obituaries like others read the movie section. Though she mentioned this service to me yesterday, for some reason I couldn’t remember how the man had died.
She shrugged and muttered, “Something modern.” Her disappointment was obvious.
A leaf, gone brown and desiccated a few weeks early, blew against the old loafers I wore. I gingerly ground it under foot. I always loved the soft crackle of autumn leaves. Every month should be filled with large piles of ochre and chocolate and rust waiting to be pounced upon.
“I never asked if you were a pine or mahogany sort of guy.”
“What?” I was still distracted by thoughts of autumn.
Trace sighed in mock annoyance. “Would you want to be laid out in a plain pine wood box or something like mahogany? Elegant with brass rails and all.”
I had never given my coffin much thought. Weird for someone who’s often called morbid. How many seventeenyear-olds spend their time visiting graveyards? And yet I’d never envisioned my own funeral.
She let me think for a few moments—she always knew exactly how much time I needed.
“I don’t suppose they make them out of glass? They could lay me out like a fairy-tale prince.”
She giggled. I mock sighed as if insulted. We must have been some sight, there by the headstones, laughing loud enough to break the somber mood down below.
As the mourners walked away to their boring sedans, I stood up and stretched. Another leaf, drifting on the breeze, blew past and when I turned to follow its slow flight I caught sight of a middle-aged man, dressed as somberly as the rest. He stood at the far corner of the cemetery, by the old mausoleums. Even at a distance, I could feel his eyes staring hard at me.
When Trace took my arm, I jumped, then smiled, embarrassed. We headed down the hill, and I glanced over my shoulder. The strange man had disappeared, probably heading home himself.
Trace’s battered Stanza waited for us on the street outside the cemetery gates. Stickers once covered the rear, but a few weeks ago, Trace grew bored with all the bands, sayings, and thoughts of the past year, and had me spray paint over them. The black paint stood out like a bruise against the gray primer of the rest of the car.
“Today was very quiet.” She unlocked my door first.
I guess she hadn’t noticed the man staring at us. I slouched in the passenger’s seat, but quickly sat upright after remembering my suit was over forty years old and expensive. I ran my hand down the trousers that I had carefully ironed hours ago.
“Not the funeral. The whole day has felt subdued. Worn out.” She checked her lipstick in the rearview mirror. Still perfect, her lips crimson, outlined by careful strokes of ebony liner. “Something has to happen.”
“Then make it happen,” I said.
“You’re better at that. Remember the burial we went to back in August?”
I closed my eyes and summoned up the memory. “Was that the sweltering day when I thought I’d melt?”
“Yes. You brought along the parasol you made.” She laughed. “I loved it! The black and purple lace you stitched on was mean. We drew so many stares.”
“They were jealous.” I said with a chuckle. But I knew no one really was jealous of me. Trace earned their attention, not me.
On the ride back to Trace’s house, I kept my window open and let my hand feel the rush of the passing air. Her car threatened to stall at stoplights, so she never slowed at yellow lights and sped through intersections. She bragged about the points she’d accrued for speeding, like misbehaving behind the wheel was a game.
Her small house sat along a side street that in a few years would be overtaken by the “bad part of town.” For now, it remained in suburban limbo, with a lawn blemished by brown patches and fallen shingles.
She unlocked the front door and said under her breath, “We’re home, Mike.” Trace believed her house was haunted. If the ghost of her older brother did exist, he had yet to answer back.
The day’s mail littered the worn carpet. We walked through the sparse living room and past the kitchen to Trace’s room in the back. On her door hung a beaten copper hand, a good-luck charm she picked up at some witchcraft store. In the center of the palm was an eye, the pupil an irregular piece of polished turquoise. Supposedly, it attracted good luck.
Inside, a queen-sized waterbed dominated the room and both of us fell onto the comforter, and bounced hearing the heavy smack of the water underneath. Atop the headboard I spotted a dog-eared paperback of
Tithe,
a gilded lighter, and a pack of her favorite bidi cigarettes: Chocolateflavored. They were hard to come by—she had to drive into Philadelphia for them, so she rationed them out, a couple each day.
She reached for the pack and shook out two of the small, leaf-wrapped cigarettes. I grabbed the lighter. The cheap metal felt cool in my hand.
“What are you doing tonight?” I took simple pleasure in lighting the bidi she put in her mouth, then touched mine to hers. The tips glowed a cheerful orange. With my first inhale, decadent sweet smoke blackened my throat and lungs. The warning on the pack comforted my masochistic streak.
She puffed with gentle pulls, sending scented wisps into the air. “I loaned out my copy of the latest
Weird NJ
to Kim and now she’s dying to explore.”
“Pass.” Normally, the thought of wandering around abandoned build ings and deserted highways looking for a cheap scare should have been exciting, but I was tired of Kim’s bitchy antics. She drained the fun out of everything. “Let’s just hang out, sip cider, and talk.”
Her lips turned down. “You have too many quiet nights. You need to get laid.”
I didn’t need to be reminded of my loserdom, having yet to go out on one single date or even kiss another boy. “Hunting down urban legends won’t find me a boy.” I drew deeply on the bidi, making the end flare for a second before turning to ash, but the taste had grown sour on my tongue. “Besides, none of the local guys would want me.” She’d heard this complaint countless times.
“That’s not true. You’re pretty.” She lightly tugged at my red-tipped bangs.
The compliment made me uncomfortable. As my best friend, she had to lie.
Trace finished her bidi—“baby joints,” she once called them—and twisted back to grind the remains into the ceramic ashtray shaped like a Halloween cat’s head. Mine followed a moment later.
“Stop by the shop tomorrow,” I said, rising from the bed. “You can tell me how you wasted your night.”
She rolled her eyes and blew me a kiss good-bye.
Passing the kitchen, I saw Trace’s younger brother sitting by the table in the dark. He seemed lost in a trance, just staring into space with a forgotten sandwich on a plate in front of him.
The “second Mike” was an odd kid. Maybe being named after your dead older brother did that. Or wearing so many of his hand-me-downs. He wasn’t a bad kid, but he had the knack of being annoying and underfoot.
My foot creaked on the linoleum floor and broke his spell. Second Mike turned suddenly to see me standing in the doorway. I nodded, feeling oddly embarrassed by the intensity of his gaze. Instead of his usual chatter, he lifted a hand and waved slightly. The gesture, so devoid of emotion, made me shudder.
I would have gone back to my aunt’s house but my hungry stomach demanded attention and Aunt Jan’s cooking was notorious. The diner a couple of miles from Trace’s place was cheap—the few dollars I had left from my last paycheck would more than buy me dinner—and I savored the chance to walk for hours along a quiet highway.
The temperature dropped as the autumn sun began to set behind the trees, and by the time I reached the diner, I had decided to become a basement recluse-savant by age thirty, surrounded by stacks of newspapers with crazed penciled notes in the margins. I wanted to celebrate my fate by warming my hands around a cup of coffee.
By the time I finished a feta omelet, some toast, and my second cup, I had changed my mind. Maybe I’d reach thirty-three and then make a spectacular end with a bandolier of fireworks. On the walk back, I’d glance up at the clear night sky and imagine the explosions. Very purple blasts came to mind.
The summer when I was ten, I spent hours lying in my folks’ backyard, staring up at the stars and making up new names for the constellations. I wish I could remember them.
I reached where the highway cuts through the woodlands. A light wind rustled branches. I kicked aside a beer bottle, sending it rolling to the other side of the road.
It came rolling back.
I stopped. Shivering, I looked around and noticed for the first time how ominous the woods on either side looked. The wind, I told myself. Just the wind. If Trace was with me, she’d laugh at how shaken I was. I had turned down the chance to see the secret mysteries of Jersey only to find myself all alone in the perfect setting for any number of horror movies.
I gave the bottle a savage kick, sending it off the road. The sound patched my fear. Then I heard the footfalls, so light I had to stand still and listen hard, while hoping I heard wrong. But no, they came closer. Telling myself I was all alone, that no one else would be dumb enough to be walking back to town all by themselves, I turned around. I was wrong.
The guy walked with his head down as if mindful of the wind. He looked a year or two older than me, maybe still in high school. His hands were in his pants pockets and his sweater didn’t look warm enough. Even when he came closer, he kept his gaze down.
He must have been walking to or from a costume party, an early one as Halloween was weeks away. His sweater was quite the find: a green and rust-brown wool button-down with a white appliqué
C
. You rarely see letter sweaters anymore. His athletic build screamed
I earned this
. The pants and shoes matched the decade too, slightly worn khakis that ended in actual penny loafers.
Since he still ignored me, I guessed he must be in a foul mood. I was tempted to ask where he’d bought the clothes. But bothering a total stranger out in the middle of nowhere would be stupid. I didn’t relish the thought of getting gay bashed.
When he walked past me, I saw his face. I wanted to run after him and catch another glimpse. He was breathtaking: smooth good looks and a sharp, upturned nose, and his crewcut blond hair left me wondering how it would feel if my fingers brushed over the top of his head.
He acted oblivious to my existence.
I don’t know why I called out to him, “Cool clothes.” I had never before been courageous enough around guys I thought half as beautiful as he was. May be the risk of provoking him was too much to resist.
The wind made my voice too loud. He stopped. I came close to running away. I thought he’d keep walking. But he turned around.
Encouraged, I took a few steps closer. I could not look away from him “It’s cold out.” I hugged myself for emphasis.
He nodded. The strong silent type made me nervous. Boys made me nervous. I did not know what to say, so I focused on something I knew. “I have to know. Where’d you get the clothes?”
“My clothes?” His eyes were icy blue.
“Yeah. They’re hard to find, especially in such great shape. I work at a vintage shop in town.”
“I’ve always had these.”
At the time, I didn’t even think it an odd response. I just wanted him to keep talking with me. I noticed the small, embroidered
Josh
in gold script on the sweater.
“Well, you should see some of the things we have down at the shop.”
He glanced at me, only briefly. “I don’t remember you from the party.”
Party?
I shook my head. “Sorry, wasn’t there.” I caught a faint whiff of cologne and beer before the next gust took them away from me. His odd, not-quite detached manner made me suspect he might be drunk.
Up ahead, near Norris Street, I saw a glow. A car turned onto the highway approaching us.
“Better move.” I walked on to the dirt shoulder. I didn’t hear footsteps follow mine. When I turned around he was gone. Gone. Confused, I looked around, but I didn’t see him. The headlights grew brighter and brighter, painful against the dark. The car streaked past.
I called out his name a couple times and wandered back and forth, sure that I had somehow missed him. Nothing. I tried to take pleasure in telling myself I had become crazy enough to imagine weird boys.