Violet Path (37 page)
As he turned to face me, I mouthed the words “thank you,” and he nodded politely. Simon had tarnished his name and power by standing up for me, and I couldn’t repay him in any way.
As the speeches came to a close, all I could do was wait. These men would decide my fate, and there was nothing I could do about it.
The fresh snow was pure, undisturbed, heavenly, like a pile of soft, white dove feathers. The bare, silver trees surrounded me, leaning over, protecting me, reflecting the sun’s golden rays like mirrors. For a moment, I thought it was all a dream, that I would wake up and Maxime would be right beside me. But as I scanned the camp, I realized my nightmare.
Too many injured, too many dead. All in the name of what?
I ran into Will and told him what I needed for my rescue plan for Maxime. He ignored me and kept walking. I chased him for a few minutes explaining everything to him. I made my request list as clear as I possibly could without giving away everything.
“No,” Will said.
“Please,” I begged him, but he just kept walking away.
“Go away!” He walked into his tent and I didn’t follow.
Oaks Valley was called together for the announcing of the results after everyone had voted. As Simon addressed the crowd, he made sure that everyone understood that those who were to be named were only replacing Maxime during his absence and nothing more. We, the candidates, stood side by side. Simon took a deep breath and tension built, suffocating us.
“I must only announce two names. One, as the leader, and the second, as the leader’s right hand with pure military power.” He paused and I felt myself lean forward, waiting for the names. “David and Alex. Congratulations.”
My heart dropped. I couldn’t believe it. My mind floated away as I tried to fathom why Anton had lost. I couldn’t recall if the crowd cheered or not, but I remembered the pats on my shoulder as people had congratulated me. I remained frozen in time, confused, but pleased. My life didn’t belong to Anton. I had power over him.
“Alex! We need to talk!” David took my wrist and led me to his cabin with the throng chasing us not far behind.
“Congratulations, you have some authority and power, and I have no intentions concerning your execution, but listen to me!” David was practically screaming. “First of all, you need to understand your position, power, and role. Secondly, you need to make amends with Anton somehow. You need to be careful, because not everyone voted for you. Do you understand? Some people may try to throw you off and Maria may oppose this decision, but you must stand your ground. I can’t hold your hand any longer; you have to lead. You control lives. You decide who lives and dies on the battlegrounds. This is serious!” David let go of me, signaling the end of his speech.
“What about Maxime?” I sounded desperate, pathetic, but it was all that was on my mind.
“I’m sorry, Alex, but that’s not our priority. I do regret it, but he’ll have to wait. Think of the soldiers, the Community, Maria, and Matthew. Maxime would understand.” David looked away, ashamed of his decision. He was supposed to support my plan to rescue Maxime. He had to.
“We have to deliver him! He’s your brother! He’s still the official leader. You can’t just let him die in Matthew’s clutches!”
“Never use our brotherhood as leverage! I’m not going to let him die. You’re not the only one who cares about him! I told you to stay away from him, because he is now both of our weaknesses.” David darted toward me as if ready to strike.
“I won’t be passive and wait for him to die! I know Matthew, the Community, and what is happening there this very moment, and I won’t stand by and let it happen!”
“You are way out of line. You still take orders from me, and you will stay put!” David stormed out.
I stood there, stunned. I understood where he was coming from and the importance of The Shadows’s safety, but I couldn’t sit idle knowing that Maxime was out there.
Before I could leave, Anton entered with a heavy gaze. I took a step back, unsure of my safety around him.
“Alex, I’m sorry. I am well aware that my actions were uncalled for, but I couldn’t trust you. I still don’t fully trust you, but my loyalty resides with The Shadows, so I will support your decisions and follow your orders. A list of my regrets is pointless; there are too many. I cannot comprehend your position in this war and will do my best to try, but please forgive me. I am glad you succeeded and wish you all the best. I trust you with my life and will follow you into any war. Just understand that I am still fighting my madness. I’m sorry I threatened you, and plead for you to at least take my apology into consideration.”
I was silenced by his words for a moment. “Your apology is not needed. I lied to you, and for that reason your mistrust is completely justified. All I ask is that you stand by David.”
“Thank you, sir . . . ma’am.”
“Just Alex.”
“I can’t. I’m not supposed to. Which do you prefer, sir or ma’am?”
“I’ll let you decide.”
“Sir. I know it to be rude, but I overheard your conversation with David and would like permission to work on a plan with a small group of soldiers to rescue Andrew.”
I didn’t appreciate the fact that he had eavesdropped, but his offer was golden, and I couldn’t decline. I didn’t rush to accept his suggestion, because I wasn’t sure I could really trust him, but I needed him. Anton was the only person I had who could help me rescue Maxime. I explained that it was fine with me, but he had to bring the offer up with David. Anton nodded and left. Everything had gone smoother than expected, but there was still tension between us.
I walked out to see David conversing with a bunch of old, supposedly wise men. He smiled, aware that Anton had apologized and called me to follow him.
We excused ourselves and left.
“If I may ask . . . if Andrew isn’t our priority, what is?” I asked.
He tensed up and stopped walking. “Protecting and healing The Shadows. Matthew just wiped out three-fifths of our men and probably knows where Maria is now. We are extremely vulnerable. You can’t possibly expect us to waltz into his strongest enrollment camp and ask for his most-protected leverage! Alice . . . I’m sorry . . . I mean, Alex, you need to think about The Shadows, your new community, instead of only Maxime. The slightest wrong move and people perish in great numbers.” David was frustrated and threw his arms in the air.
“All right, I’m sorry.”
“All right? You’re just giving in like that? No, you’re not. You’re like Maxime. You won’t take no for an answer. You’re planning something. You’re too stubborn, and your skull is too thick!” David started to walk again. “You’ll need a place to stay to start off with—”
“No. Other soldiers don’t have roofs over their heads. I’ll be fine.” I had to prove that I wasn’t taking advantage of what was being offered and was thinking for The Shadows instead of myself.
“That’s ridiculous. Be reasonable. You’re a girl; you need your privacy.”
“I’ll deal with that on my own. Thanks.”
“How?”
“Telling you defies the whole private aspect of it.”
“Sir!” Anton called to us from behind as he was running to catch up. “Sir, with your permission, I’d like to have a small team to work on freeing Andrew.”
David’s eyes became bloodshot. Hell had been awakened. “Alex! I ordered you to move on and stop focusing on Andrew! Are you deaf, or do you think you have the right to disobey my direct orders? As for you, Anton, if you feel useless or above others to not aid the wounded, I grant you permission to round up all of the horses for tomorrow night. You are dismissed.”
Anton responded with a defeated “Yes, sir” and ran off. I didn’t mind taking the blame for what had just happened, but I didn’t want to leave Maxime in Matthew’s hands.
“Alex, understand this: You will not pay any more attention to Maxime until I personally tell you to. You are under my command and will do as you are told or face consequences like anyone else,” he said through gritted teeth. “Now, you can’t give orders or actually make any decision because you’re not a man. Not to be harsh, but you’re simply a tool to come up with plans to take down Matthew. You will also teach classes. To add to that, you have to find The Shadows’ weaknesses in order to strengthen us, and you have the power of surrendering the army to save lives. Overall, The Shadows simply wants you to share information about Matthew.”
I nodded, and David left me standing there alone.
I continued to plan Maxime’s escape. Wanting him was an unquenchable thirst. I ignored David’s folly and met up with Will, reminding him that I needed a small laser, night glasses, a gravity enhancer, and an electromagnetic wave dispenser. He looked at me like I was completely out of my mind, but finally relented and assured me that he would have all of it ready in three days.
Maxime was the only thing on my mind. He kept slipping through my fingers, withering away. I knew I was under his spell, his control. His protection, his touch, and his love were what I lived for. He was my angel, and without his wings, I couldn’t fly. I could only stare at the shimmering stars in the vast sky above, longing to soar.
My world was a fog, floating close to the icy ground, but I needed to remain focused. Maxime was my only concern, even above my own life, but I had more responsibilities now. And as the days passed, I realized that I couldn’t allow others to die by my hand.
David had me teach Maxime’s classes, which was a compact schedule, but he also added some extra ones, mostly because he didn’t have as much time to instruct. I also had meetings with him along with other soldiers at least once a day to go over different battle plans and security precautions. We weren’t training anymore, but preparing for bloodshed.
My classes were taught away from the camp in the naked herd of trees. As I waited for my students to join me, I felt like I was choking on a sponge that was caught in my throat. I started by taking attendance. Only half of the class was present; the others were either reported as injured or dead. I felt the cold world around me shrink. I didn’t know how to address the class and didn’t want to take advantage of being superior, but I couldn’t let myself be stepped on, so I started to give orders. I asked them to spar one-on-one, so I could see what they needed to work on. I could hear my voice shaking in the wind.
I started off with how Matthew’s soldiers were programmed and how to defeat them with prediction. It wasn’t simple, and practice was impossible, but it was all I could offer.
I lectured them, and they remained quiet, intrigued, and attentive as I went into further detail. They didn’t understand how the soldiers could be programmed to follow a flowchart of fighting techniques, but they were willing to accept it and train to outsmart the code. I felt like I was actually helping them. But it scared me—one wrong move or slow reaction and they were defenseless at Matthew’s mercy.
One man, Romero, objected to my plan, exclaiming that it would only give me more knowledge on how to destroy The Shadows. Romero was built to be a soldier. I offered to be his partner so he could spot my weaknesses, and he gave in after slight hesitation. He couldn’t object without getting into trouble with David, and he knew it.
Before we started, Anton arrived. Because I was taking part in the lesson, he didn’t have a partner, so he watched. He smiled at me, but I couldn’t tell if it was sincere or if he was just trying to make up for the past. Having him observe my fight only added stress as I felt the need to impress him, but he would keep everyone in line and I couldn’t risk losing that.
Romero attempted to kick me, but I moved aside. He became frustrated and somehow we ended up grappling. Luckily, he was tiring. Finally, I pinned him to the ground, and he accepted defeat. I explained how he had lost by giving me room to move freely. I showed him where his technique had gone wrong, and he knelt over me with a knife against my neck. I froze, holding my breath. I knew how to disarm him, but I didn’t. It wasn’t worth it. I needed to gain his trust, not erase it.
Anton darted toward us, but I ordered him to stay back. Romero’s deep, hazel eyes were fixed on me. His cold blade was pressed against my artery, but he was hesitating. It was a good sign, but it also meant that he was unpredictable.
“Why?” I asked him. I needed him to realize that his motives were unclear, that he didn’t need to slice my throat.
He didn’t answer.
“You know that I can throw you off, so why?” I was pushing the limits, tempting him, but I was completely in control.
“Then why don’t you take the blade out of my hand?” Romero asked as he penetrated me with his eyes.
“Because I don’t need to and don’t want to. If you’re really going to cut my throat, then do it now. Maybe I don’t deserve your trust or loyalty, but I’d hoped that you’d put that aside until we take down Matthew together. Yes, my past is shady, but I have nothing to hide. I know the feeling of wanting someone’s blood to run—I’m starved for Matthew’s—but this is not the thirst you’re trying to quench. I completely understand why you think you need to do this; I’ve made some terrible choices, and the consequences are heavy. I am begging you to think twice. If you don’t change your mind, I won’t oppose you, but don’t throw what you have away.”
He looked around, shaking his head in rage, trembling with the blade in his hands.“What do you know about anything? You don’t know protection or love! You’re a kid of destruction! You shouldn’t even be here.” He pulled me up by my collar, and my skin met the dagger.
“I know that protection is the need to sacrifice to secure the safety of others. You’re only holding me down because you think I’m a threat and no one is taking me out, so you’re risking your position to get the job done. The problem is that I’m not a threat.
“And you say ‘love?’ You mean that feeling of belonging? The one of being a part of something? Of having a reason to breathe? I tried to protect The Shadows because it was the one thing that was real to me. It was the one thing that stood for something that was good. It was the one thing that made me feel as though I had a reason for living. It was the one thing that I loved and would give my life to, but I failed to protect it. I saw it burn, I saw it bleed, and I saw it die, but I refuse to let it go and to give Matthew the victory.