Vision of Love (20 page)

I’ve never been happier than right here, right now with Emma and Karly in paradise. The resort is more than I expected it to be. The staff is friendly and there are other families here with kids to keep Emma occupied. I look over and see my beautiful girl lying out in her blue bikini as she’s reading her dirty smut books. She better get some ideas for tonight.

I scheduled a kid’s play activity after dinner for Emma. Call me a bad father I don’t care. I need some time alone with my girl and Emma’s excited to go. There will be staff at the event and parents aren’t needed so why not take advantage?

We swim for a few more hours before heading back up to the room and getting ready for dinner. There’s a pig roast dinner tonight and we’re expected to dress casually. Karly helps Emma get ready while I settle on the balcony with my beer. My phone vibrates and it’s a picture message from Karly. When I open it I was drinking my beer. Smart. I spit out what’s in my mouth and my eyes are wide with lust. My rock hard cock is alert and ready. “Shit. Down boy.” Karly sent me a naked selfie slide show. Holy shit. The picture starts with her smiling and I can see her boobs. The next picture is of her stomach leading down to the magnificent part of her body that’s reserved for just me. The last picture is fucking sexy. Her legs are spread and she’s sliding a finger in and out of her pussy.

Before I call her I lift my head and see her standing before me. I grab her and pull her body onto mine.

“You’re naughty. Does someone need another spanking?”

“Mmmm is that a promise…Sir?”

I throw my head back and fucking die. Oh Hawaii I love you.

Dinner is different. I’ve never been to anything like this. The show and dancers entertained us while we ate. It took Emma a minute to start eating, but when she saw Karly eat the pig meat she followed suit.

We drop Emma off at the kids’ fest and I immediately take Karly back to our room. Two hours without Emma-perfect.

As soon as we’re in our room, Karly jumps on me wrapping her legs around my waist. I hold her tight, our tongues swirling around in the most erotic way. I set her down on the bed lifting her dress off and taking off her bra. “No panties again baby. Damn you know how to keep me hard.” I get on my knees and dive right into her wet folds. Her legs rest on my shoulders as she humps my face. Fuck she’s so sexy.

“Nicholas suck me! Yes!” She screams out my name, lifting her hips and giving me better access. I quickly stop eating her out and step out of my clothes. I pull her to the edge of the bed and slam right into her causing her to scream again and again.

“Fuck you feel so good.” I pump in and out of her bringing my mouth to her protruding nipples. I gently bite each one hearing her hiss and moan for more. My body craves her. Wants her. She’s more than enough for me and our sex life gets even better with each day. She grabs my shoulders and I fuck her faster and harder.

I flip her around and slap her left ass cheek. “Again,” she moans. I slap her again and put my hard cock back inside her. I play with her ass and stick a finger in. Karly loves ass play and shit so do I. Soon we both find our release. I yell out her name while releasing my load into her. Slowly pulling out Karly collapses on the bed while I head to the bathroom and clean myself up. I grab a small towel and let the water soak it before heading back out and cleaning her up.

I crawl into bed with her and bring her in my arms. “I love you baby.”

“Always.” She kisses my lips and goes right back on my chest. “You bring so much love to my life Nicholas. I love every moment with you. No one loves me the way you do. It’s like you were sent to me to save me and show me a new world.”

“No baby it’s the other way around. You took a chance on me even though I built so many walls around my heart. You tore them down. Sometimes we don’t have a choice when it comes to love. Love chooses for us. Once love finds us our soul mate it’s now up to us to keep the love alive so it doesn’t die.”

“We’ll always keep our love alive. Nothing will ever get in the way.”

* * * * *

First day back in the office and I want to shoot myself. Thanks to my smart girlfriend I didn’t have access to my work email and now I have over eight hundred messages waiting to be read. If I could kill her I would.

“Mr. Hayes there’s someone here to see you.” I look at my calendar and am not expecting anyone.

“Send them in please.” I’m finishing an email when I hear the door open and close. “I’ll be with you in just a moment.” When I press send I start to say, “How can I,” I quickly get up and stare at the person standing in front of me. My mind is swirling. She looks at me with death and sorrow in her eyes. There’s no makeup on her face and she’s in a black sweat suit. I slowly sit down in my chair and the quietness in the room takes over. Neither of us says anything. I can’t find the right words and I don’t want to sound like an asshole.

“Hi Nicky,” Jamie says sitting down in front of me. I still don’t say anything. “I’m sorry for coming back without telling you.” She looks down and then back at me. “Something happened and I need your help.”

“Hi honey! How was school?” I pick up Emma from school and help her in the car. She looks so happy today while I feel like the walking dead.

“It was fun mommy. I made you this,” she hands me something. It’s a drawing of us in Hawaii.

“This is beautiful Emma. Let’s head home and hang it up!”

“Okay!”

I pull into the driveway and see Nicholas’ car in the driveway. “Look Emma, daddy’s home.” I wonder what he’s doing home. I check my phone and there’s no message from him. I hope everything’s okay. Emma unbuckles herself and we walk in together.

“Nicholas! We’re home.”

“In here,” I hear him say. There’s something wrong. His voice is off. My heart slows down and I’m scared to go to the kitchen. When I walk in Jamie gets up and smiles.

“Hi Karly. Hey Emma!” She walks over to her and they hug. There’s a ping of jealousy, but I shake it off. I look at Nicholas and his eyes are blood shot red. He won’t look at me.
What the hell is going on?

“Emma can you please go to your room?”

“Okay,” Emma leaves the kitchen leaving the three of us alone. I don’t like where this is going. I have the worst feeling in the world. Tears fill my eyes, but I don’t cry. I can’t cry. I have to believe everything’s going to be okay.

“Karly,” Nicholas starts to say, “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but Jamie’s back.” He stops and clears his throat. “We’re getting back together.”

My heart drops. No. He didn’t say this. I’m dreaming. I look at Jamie and she turns her head away. I look at Nicholas and his face has no emotions. We love each other. We just got back from Hawaii. My life is here with Nicholas and Emma; in the house I decorated and made into a home. We share a room together and spend every night making love.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says walking into the living room. I watch his body language. He’s tense and stressed out.

“No! You don’t mean it!”

“Karly please stop. You’re gonna upset Emma.” I let the tears fall from my eyes and stare at Jamie.

“Why are you doing this?” My voice is shaky and I can’t see clearly. I’m shaking with anger and heartbreak. This is something I hoped would never happen, but I’m wrong. I knew Jamie would come back and take her family back. I can’t breathe. Everything around me is getting closer and it feels like hands are around my neck slowly squeezing the life out of me.

She steps back, “I’m not doing anything. You have to understand Nicky and I have a…”

“STOP! His name is NICHOLAS! He
hates
when people call him Nicky!” I cry out. My breathing is fast and I feel lightheaded.

“Only I call him Nicky and we’re in love. We have a daughter together and he’s taking me back.” I’m not listening to her. I can’t.

“Nicholas,” I run to him and wrap my arms around his waist. “I love you,” I whisper. “Tell me this is some sick joke. Please.”

I feel him breathing. I feel his body shaking. This isn’t him. It’s
her.
I let go of Nicholas and head back to the kitchen where Jamie’s standing, staring at us. I raise my hand in the air and slap her across the face. She doesn’t say anything.

“You did this. He doesn’t want you!” Before I can slap her again Nicholas grabs my hand and leads me out to the deck.
Our deck.

“I’m sorry,” he brings me into his arms. “I never meant for this to happen, but you need to leave. You can say bye to Emma,” he struggles to finish talking. “Please Karly.”

I let him go and look into his eyes. “Look at me and tell me you don’t love me. I need to hear you say it or I’m not leaving.”

“Enough!” Jamie shouts causing us to turn and look at her. “Karly please leave.”

Nicholas stands there, not saying anything. I’ve lost. I can’t take this anymore. I rush inside and grab my purse. I don’t need anything from this house. Before I leave I run upstairs and find Emma on the top of the stairs. She’s crying and her tiny body is shaking.

“Mommy don’t leave me please!” I take Emma in my arms and hold her close to my heart.

“I have to, but you’ll always be with me.” I show her the bracelet that Nicholas bought me for my graduation. “See?” I point to the ‘e.’ No matter where I am you’ll always be with me. “I love you so much Emma. Be good and take care of daddy for me.” I kiss her again and let her go. I have to or else I’ll never be able to. I run down the stairs and her voice carries through the house. She’s screaming for me. My poor Emma. Hearts are broken everywhere today.

I quickly get in my car and head to Larry’s. I pull out my phone and text Alexis letting her know I’m on my way.

I cry the entire way and I don’t even realize I’m here at the apartment until I’m taking the elevator up to their floor. When I get to her door Larry answers and brings me in his arms. I collapse and let everything out. Alexis comes over and helps me to the couch. I lie on her lap and cry. I cry for the loss and emptiness in my heart. Every time I close my eyes I see Nicholas standing there looking so defeated.

My life is a cluster fuck of pain and loss. There’s no such thing as a happily ever after. I’m not meant to have one. I don’t deserve to have anyone love me. I loss everyone anyways. I lost my parents. I lost Bradley. I lost Neil and now I’ve lost Nicholas and Emma. Who else will love me and keep me afloat in this crazy life?

“What happened?” Larry finally asks.

I start at the beginning and tell them everything. Alexis doesn’t say anything and Larry quickly gets up and gets on his phone.

“I feel so numb, Alexis.”

“Shhhhh babe it’s okay.”

I slowly get up and look at her. She looks different. I look around the apartment and see pregnancy pamphlets on the table. My eyes close thinking back on the conversation Nicholas and I had about having kids. I’ll never have that with him.

I lie back down and cry. “I’m sorry that I’m here ruining your moment. Congrats though,” I quietly say.

* * * * *

I’m not sure how much time passes by, but I wake up with a blanket on top of me. I’m in a bedroom and the room’s dark. I slowly get up and reach in my pocket for my cell phone. It’s nearly one in the morning.

I’m getting out of bed when I see him. “Nicholas?” Before he answers I run to him and throw my arms around his neck. “Nicholas.” This is my safe place; my favorite place. We’re complete in each other’s arms. He holds me tight and I breathe him in. He’s back. Nicholas is back. I was dreaming and now I’m finally awake.

“You’re back.” My heart jumps up and down. I knew that he wouldn’t do this. Our love is too strong and he’s not going to leave me. We’re going to have our happily ever after and grow old together.

“No sweetheart. Larry called me and I wanted to check on you and make sure you’re okay.” His shaky voice is low and full of regret. I know something’s wrong and someone’s lying to me. This isn’t Nicholas.

I let him go and move back on the bed. “So you’re really leaving me? It’s over?”

Nicholas sits down on the bed, holding my hand. He doesn’t look at me. “I wish things could be different. But please have faith.”

“What are you talking about?” How can I have faith when he’s leaving me? The feeling of darkness takes over. I remember everything we said to one another and now it’s all gone. I don’t believe in anything anymore. There’s no such thing as love or happiness.

“Karly promise me that you’ll never give up on us.”

I sobbed in his arms holding him tight. “How can I promise you that when you’re throwing everything away?”

“Just trust me.” My heart breaks. What the hell is going on? I
know
there’s more!

He kissed away my tears and found my lips. We kissed. He took his time and treasured my body. This was our last moment
.
I don’t push him away. I need this too.

Nicholas lays me down, slowing taking off my dress and undressing me. I let him take control as he stares at my body, memorizing and hoping. His lips meet mine again as his tongue takes over my mouth. Before I know it he’s spreading my legs apart and slowly entering me.

“Nicholas,” I quietly moan.

“Baby,” he says, closing the space between us. I need him near me. This is our last night together. I want this night to be cherished without the memory of reality.

I whisper how much I love him and I’ll never stop. He kisses my tears away and continues to make love to me. We both find our release as I brush my lips against his, “You’re in my heart. Forever.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper brushing his hair away from his eyes. Is there such a thing as pain so excruciating it’s felt down to your very core? I close my eyes and the ghosts of our memories play through my mind.

The first time we met.

The night I told him about my past.

Our first kiss.

When we told each other we loved each other.

The pain in my heart grows. I can’t let them go, but I have to. I need to move on and get away from everyone. Everything becomes blurry. My eyes are swollen and red. I can’t breathe. How can he do this to me? How can we throw it all away?

“When I think about forever I think about how long it is, but with you by my side forever sounds perfect.”

These memories will never be lost. His words play in my head. I’ll keep them alive in my heart. I hate what’s happening. I hate that
she
came back and took them away from me. The promises of forever and always fade away. Will I ever get my happily ever after?

I lay down next to him, listening to his heartbeat and breathing. It’s almost five in the morning. He hates waking up before six. I smile thinking about all the times we fell asleep in each other’s arms and enjoying the morning as if it were our last. Well, this time it is our last. The tears freely flow from my eyes. How could this happen? Quietly I sob, afraid to wake him up because if he does I’ll never leave.

I shudder from the memories of last night. I blink a few times. He’s so far away and I thought I’d do anything to make him stay but I can’t compete. I thought I could make his life whole again since he gave mine meaning. Slowly peeling myself from the only man I truly loved I sit at the desk and pour my heart onto paper. The tears fall but I wipe them away. I finish the last line of the letter.

Our love will never be gone. I’ll always feel it with every sun rise. Every sound of the wave. Every sunset. You’ll always be in my heart, but I need to let you go. Maybe one day…

And that’s all I can write.

His eyes are on me. “Karly,” he whispers. I can’t turn around. This is too much for me to handle. “You didn’t trust us enough to stay.” When I turn around the tears run down his face.

“Go back to sleep, Nicholas. Only in our dreams our love will be strong and alive. When you close your eyes you’ll see me.” I walk over to him, placing my hand on his heart, “This is where we can live and be happy.” Kissing his forehead one last time I run my fingers down his face, closing his eyes. The void in my heart grows. I’m losing the love of my life and I hope I’m doing the right thing. Kissing the letter I look at him again before walking out the bedroom. I lean against the door and cry. It’s the only thing I can do. After a few minutes I leave the apartment and head out to my car. As I sit in the driver’s seat letting my car run for a few seconds before driving,
I let out a sigh and slam
m
y head against the headrest. This is the first day of my hell and agony.