Visions (23 page)

40

As I healed, the days seemed to grow longer. I had more time than I knew what to do with in between visiting hours, and Theo’s ad hoc drop-ins couldn’t break the monotony. I’d given up asking when I would be allowed to go home. Each time I asked the question it seemed to trigger another series of humiliating, never-ending tests. “I’m just not used to people being so intently interested in my bodily functions,” I explained to Theo when I became sulky at the thought of urinating in a pot for what seemed like the hundredth time.

              It was during these times, when I was left alone with nothing but my mind’s meanderings to occupy me, that I started to learn more about the visions. All this time I’d assumed that they were sporadic and uncontrollable. The realisation that I could actually assert some control over them came one boring morning when the catering staff had taken the breakfast plates away, and I knew that my next scheduled experience of human contact would be at eleven o’ clock when the nurses did their rounds with medication. Absent-mindedly, I started to ponder what the future would hold now.

Morgan had reassured me that Mr Briggs was in the process of extending the CCTV system to all the corridors within the school and that each member of staff would be equipped with a hand-held radio so that support could be requested whenever it was needed. “I think the caretaker has taken it upon himself to start leaving his MP3 player at home, too!” she’d informed me. “He feels so guilty that he tried to hand in his resignation, but Mr Briggs managed to talk him out of it.”

              While I was letting my mind stray with the only restriction that my thoughts were to avoid anything regarding Darren Pierce, I managed to leave the room. Suddenly I was in an office area that was unfamiliar to me. Smartly dressed people sat at different work desks, some typing manically on computers, others on phones urgently trying to speak above the rabble of noise. Between the work desks there was continuous movement of uniform clad police officers. I spied myself through a window, not in the same room but in a separate smaller office that came off the large room I was in. Moving towards the window, I saw that I, too, looked officially dressed, though not in a police officer uniform. A badge with my photo and small print on was clipped to my shirt pocket, but I couldn’t get close enough to read what it said.

I was perched on the edge of a large, busy desk, emphatically using my arms as I talked. My audience was none other than Sergeant James and PC Green. Sergeant James was taking notes as I talked and PC Green seemed to be staring at me in wonder, nodding each time we made eye contact. The thought crossed my mind that they weren’t Sergeant James and PC Green anymore. To me they were now known as Roxie and John, people who I respected as colleagues and genuinely liked as friends. I felt myself being pulled from the vision back into the mundane hospital room and tried to will myself to stay longer. I was curious to know what we were talking about and what my role was in the police station.

              Back in the hospital room, I was relieved to find that I was still alone. It gave me time to mull over what had just happened. The implications were huge. Firstly, I could deduct that I was not going to return to teaching, which felt like an overwhelming wave of relief. The thought of going back to Logford and walking through the corridor where I’d been attacked instantly brought on nausea every time I considered it. Although I was aware there could be any amount of time in between the vision and the actual event, I reassured myself that I hadn’t looked any older sitting on that desk. That future was a near one.

              The second inference I could draw from this was that the visions clearly weren’t as random as I’d always thought. When I’d been driving to my mother’s house on the day of the accident, I’d been considering the different schools that I might apply for jobs at if positions became available; that then led to the vision of Darren Pierce standing over me with fury in his eyes. On the day that I’d envisioned my mother lying on the floor, she had been on my mind on and off all day. I remembered considering whether to phone her and ask if she had any behaviour management strategies for pupils like Darren. Again, when I’d envisioned Morgan’s sister being proposed to, I’d been thinking about Morgan. There were no exceptions that I could think of. In the park, sitting with Theo, we’d been discussing our relationship when I saw us shopping together. Each time a vision had occurred, my train of thought had been linked to what I saw and I’d allowed my mind to wander. Perhaps that could explain why I hadn’t had any of late. Perhaps on some level my mind was aware of the triggers for the visions and each time I could slip into one, I sub-consciously prevented it from happening.

              When I relayed all this to Theo, he agreed with me that it meant my visions could potentially be controlled. “That is absolutely fascinating! Just wait until Dr Cornwell hears.”

              “Does Hannah know about me being here?” I asked, wondering why she hadn’t come in to visit.

              “She does, but I’ve discouraged her from coming to see you. She would only

want to ask more questions and I didn’t think it was such a good idea. Even now maybe you should allow yourself some more healing time. I can imagine that she will want to observe you ‘managing’ a vision and then she’ll want to do further tests, which will all be really helpful. I know how important it is to you to gain an understanding, but it will also be very tiring and right now, you need your rest.”

I had to agree. Hannah would find all this very exciting and wouldn’t be able to refrain from pushing for more information. “Just imagine though, Theo, I can stop them whenever I want. I can be normal.”

Theo patted my hand gently and grinned. “I don’t know about normal but a shade closer, definitely.”

41

“I’m just so relieved that she isn’t going home to an empty house, Theo. At least there will be someone there to look after her and while I’m off, I’ll come over and make sure that she is coping, too. Then she’s got Morgan and Hazel who have offered to take her out to lunch and just generally keep her moving,” my mother wittered as though I wasn’t right there, walking with them towards the exit of the hospital. The sunlight shining through the sliding doors seemed unbearably bright to my seemingly institutionalised eyes. “Even good old Martina from next door has offered to visit with some of her homemade soups. They taste like…Well, they aren’t the best, but they’re full of healthy foods that will do her the world of good.” She continued to chatter excitedly as we climbed into Theo’s Land Rover.

Like a child, I allowed myself to be placed into the back seat and then we were driving down the road, the hospital building becoming a speck in the rear view mirror. I hoped I wouldn’t have to see it close up again anytime soon.

              Walking into Theo’s house, I was met with a surprise; he had completely redecorated, carefully incorporating all of my favourite ornaments and trinkets, including my framed photograph of me with my parents as a baby. It looked like our home now and not just his place. Theo had prepared a small feast for us with all my favourite foods to eat. I looked longingly at the wine rack as I nibbled delicately on a slice of Victoria sponge cake. Wine was still going to be off the menu for a long time to come with the painkillers that I was taking.

              Once my mother had gone, Theo took me round the house, showing me all the work that he’d done. The bathroom had a sparkling new suite and the shelves that had previously held a bottle of shower gel, shampoo, and a bar of soap now had different bubble baths and other various feminine luxuries on them. There were improvements and additions everywhere.

“You must have been really bored!” I commented.

              “More worried. When I worry, I have to keep busy or I go insane. The best is yet to come.” Theo led me into the bedroom. Where his bachelor bed with its tired, blue stripy covers had been was a new ornate iron bed, complete with a white duvet and pillow set. Theo had bought so many cushions that there wouldn’t be room to lie down without taking some of them off. “What do you think?”

              “I think I’d like to go to bed now! It’s fantastic, Theo. Thank you!”

              “I can leave you if you want to sleep.” His face was full of concern.

              “That’s not what I meant,” I explained mischievously, but Theo shook his head.

              “That’s not going to be happening for a while. Trust me, you wouldn’t enjoy it and I don’t want you feeling any extra pain because of me.” Instead, we lay down and cuddled on top of the ridiculous mountain of cushions.

              “Theo? What will happen to Darren now that he’s done this?” I asked. The question had been burning in my mind for a while now, but I hadn’t been sure I wanted the answer. I still hated him for what he had done and wanted desperately to be sure that he couldn’t so the same to anyone else. It had crossed my mind that he felt hatred for Amelia as well. Despite that, I couldn’t imagine him being held with adults who had committed crimes of the same nature.

              “He’s being held in a detention centre for juvenile criminals,” Theo explained.

“He’ll stay there until the trial, although we’ve been assured that because he has admitted to his crime, there isn’t any chance that he will be free to wander anytime soon. When he is found guilty, he’ll go to a more secure young offender institute where he will stay for his sentence. Don’t worry. This is what he deserves and needs. He’ll still be educated and they don’t mistreat them or anything. Although, in my opinion, it wouldn’t do him any harm to be mistreated for a while.”

I realised Theo was still angry about what had happened. I tried to imagine what it would be like for Darren being kept in a place like that. From what I’d seen, he hated authority, especially when it came from a woman. I wondered whether his mother was heartbroken at what her son had done. It was more likely that she would be relieved she didn’t have to consider his welfare anymore and probably wouldn’t need to again. He would be old enough to leave home when he was released.

              I started to float away from Theo’s voice and was about to drag myself back again when an image started to come into focus that I realised I needed to see. It was definitely Darren Pierce. He was sitting on a simple, single bed against a plain white wall. Until he sighed noisily, the room had been completely silent, even though I could see tears streaming down his cheeks. He was eating something, putting it into his mouth, but then I noticed that he wasn’t chewing, only swallowing. Whatever he was putting in his mouth was small, going in fast and being swallowed straight away. I focused all my energy on looking down at the blanket across the bed. Sure enough, there was a pile of small, white pills in front of him. He was trying to overdose.

              My mind burst back into the room as I took a huge gulp of air. Theo sat up staring at me, is forehead wrinkled with worry. “Darren is trying to kill himself!” I tried to dive up from the bed, causing agonising pain to flow through my side.

              “Are you sure?”

              “Absolutely positive. We need to tell someone. I have to phone the police and speak to Roxie.” Theo looked puzzled and opened his mouth to speak. “Sergeant James. I have to speak to Sergeant James. Please, get me the phone.”

Theo sensed my urgency and ran for the phone. “Do you want me to ring someone?” he asked.

              “No,” I replied, already dialling a number that seemed familiar. I knew it was the number for the phone that sat on the desk I’d seen in my vision in the hospital but had no idea how I had gotten it.  “There’s only her or PC Green who will believe me, anyway. Hello, I need to speak to Sergeant James.” I quickly explained that I had new information for her regarding the Darren Pierce case.

              “Is that Gillian Gordon?” I realised that I was speaking to PC Green. “How did you get this number?”

              “I’m not sure. This is really important, though. I think Darren Pierce may be trying to commit suicide. I saw him taking lots of little, white pills. I don’t know where he is or I would ring the facility myself and I just don’t know what to do.”

              “Gillian, listen to me. I’m taking down your number. I’m going to check this out now and I’ll get back to you.” Then he was gone.

Theo took the phone out of my shaking hand. “Being with you brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, ‘never a dull moment.”

              I managed to sit still and watch some television while we waited for PC Green to phone back. There wasn’t much else I could do and sitting there worrying was making me feel sick. When the doorbell rang, Theo went to answer it. I expected it to be Morgan or Hazel dropping in to check on me as they frequently did. It was a surprise when he came back with Sergeant James, who looked at me with mixed elements of awe and respect. I knew before she spoke that I’d done the right thing by phoning them.

“Well, that was a difficult situation to navigate!” Sergeant James said to me. “I had to ring and feed them a story about having Darren confused with another youth offender and needing him to confirm his middle name. I don’t know whether they believed me or not, but they didn’t come back to the phone. It was an hour later when they phoned me back. Darren has been complaining of headaches since his arrival so they’ve been giving him pain-killers, which he has clearly been hiding very well in his mouth until they’ve left, spitting out and building a collection ready for this today. Luckily they caught him taking the last few of a lot and phoned an ambulance. He’s in the process of having his stomach pumped now. He should be fine, but he wouldn’t have been if he’d been left until his next scheduled form of contact.” She took a breath and Theo gestured for her to take a seat. “How did you know?”

              “It was the same as what I told you in hospital. I saw him doing it, but this time I felt that it was imminent.”

              “I can’t believe it. I mean, I do, but it really is unbelievable.” She shook her head. “So it just came out of nowhere?”

              “No, I think I might be learning how to control what I see to some extent. We were talking about him, then I was thinking about where he was, trying to imagine it and then I felt the vision come on. Also,” I remembered and turned to Theo, knowing it would be of interest to him, “I felt that I could have rejected the vision. Instead of going in for a closer look, I could have turned back and ignored it, but I was curious and it seemed important.”

Again, Sergeant James shook her head in wonder. “Another thing that’s playing on my mind is how did you know my desk phone number? That number is only given out to actual staff at the station. Your call should have gone through to switchboard.”

I told her about the vision I’d had where I was clearly an employee at the station. I admitted to knowing her full name and that of PC James. When I’d finished, her eyes were wide with wonder.

              Two cups of coffee later, Sergeant Roxie James left, admitting that she didn’t mind me having her desk number and agreeing to keep in touch.

Theo spent the rest of the day treating me like a one-of-a-kind china antique.