Waiting for Romeo (19 page)

“I prefer not to think of that…that’s why you’re here and if I had it my way I’d keep you here…at least I’d know you’d be safe.”

“Okay, I love that you’re so concerned about my safety, but are you even listening to yourself? I know we have our little kidnapping joke, but you wanting to keep me here is a bit bizarre…how long would you like to keep me here?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

“Forever.” He says nonchalantly and gives me a quick smile.

“Oh? Now I know you are insane.” I laugh.

His grin gets bigger. Then it quickly disappears and he looks worried again.

“You know, I’m joking?” I ask.

“I know. Are you done?” He glances towards my empty bowl. “Would you like more?”

“No, thanks. It was delicious…my compliments to the microwaver.” I smile.

Setting the bowls and our glasses in the sink, he then turns to the iPod system built into the wall, scrolls through the list and hits play. David Guetta’s “Without You” softly flows through the house.

Coming around the corner of the island, he takes my hand and leads me to the enormous sofa in the living room. We sink into the couch on our sides, stretched out, facing each other. My head rests on my elbow while I gaze at him. Stroking my side with his hand, his expression is soft, serious.

“More hidden messages with this song?” I smile at him.

His eyes shine with humor. “I don’t think there are any hidden messages in this one…it’s all pretty straight-forward. And yes, I put this one on your playlist for those very reasons.”

“It’s a pretty song.” I gaze at him.

“It is.” He looks lost in his thoughts.

“Penny for your thoughts.” I say, softly.

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to picture that person in my head…trying to remember something that would help. I could see the person, dodging in and out of corners. He disappeared briefly and I thought he was gone, but he must have circled around the block because suddenly he appeared again. When we got you in the car, I looked back but he was gone…it was like he vanished into thin air.”

“You think it was Sebastian?” I ask.

“I think so, but I can’t say I’m a hundred percent. Maybe we should talk to the police?’

“What? No. We don’t have any hard evidence. Jeez, now I’m sounding like Bryn.” I giggle at my own joke.

“Still…they might be able to at least find Sebastian.” He knits his brow.

“It makes no sense…why would they even go looking for Sebastian? Just because he may have been following me? He smokes and maybe those were his ashes at Spyder? Because he doesn’t like me?” Then it hits me. “You’re not telling me something? What are you really worried about?”

He stops stroking my arm. “I’ve heard things about Sebastian…and it could mean nothing.”

“Tell me. Please.” I say, softly.

“He hurt his ex-girlfriend.”

“What? How?” I feel my stomach drop.

“He had a girlfriend from high school. They were off and on since freshman year but then they completely broke up last year. He was devastated. I don’t really know all the details…guys don’t talk about that stuff. But I do know the last straw was he hit her…punched her hard.”

“God, that’s awful. Don’t people go to jail for that?”

“She didn’t press charges…she probably didn’t tell her parents exactly what happened.”

“He told you this?” I ask.

Logan nods. “It worries me that if he can hurt someone he loves…” He trails off. “I don’t think he’d do something stupid, but now with this break-in at Spyder…and your place…I don’t know if he’s behind all of this…but if he is…he’s totally lost it. Now, you see why I want to keep you here?”

I think for a second. “Does she go to school here…the ex-girlfriend? Maybe we can talk to her and then we have something to tell the police?” I whisper.

“No. She goes to school in San Diego, but that was over a year ago. Who knows now?” He frowns and I wrap my arms around him.

He pulls me tighter against him as I nuzzle into his hard chest. He breathes in my hair and as I feel his chest rise and fall, beneath my head, all I can think is: this is where I feel safest…maybe I could stay here forever.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“I WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOU.” Logan whispers in my ear.

I lean back and gaze at him. “You do, do you?” I say, imitating his often chosen words.

I continue. “Before you wanted to show me something now you want to do something. I’m intrigued. Does it have to do with your bed this time?”

He laughs. “No, but we have to get up.”

“We can’t do it on the sofa?” I arch an eyebrow.

He’s grinning at me when he pulls me up from the depths of the couch.

“Up you go…we have to go outside. I’ll grab you a sweater.” He says, rather excitedly.

In a minute, he’s back with one of his soft cashmere sweaters. Pulling it over my head, I inhale his scent on the scrumptiously soft wool. The sweater falls to my mid-thigh and the sleeves hang several inches longer than my fingertips.

“Perfect fit.” Logan smiles at me. “Come with me.” He takes my hand in his as he opens the French doors and we head outside.

“It’s dark already…I can’t wait for the time change…I love when it stays lighter later.”

“Me too. But tonight is perfect…let me grab a blanket.” He says leading us towards the small house near the pool. We quickly walk inside where he grabs a large red and black check blanket.

“We’re going on a picnic?” I smile as we head past the pool and towards the large, open lawn.

“No…not a picnic.”

Slipping the blanket out from under his arm, he gently places it on the perfectly manicured lawn. He takes my hand in his and pulls me towards him. Caressing my cheek as he leans down slowly, I lift my lips to meet his.

His kisses are soft and just brush my lips at first, but then they become increasingly more demanding. I feel his hand in my hair, tugging me gently, while his other hand pushes up my sweater, against my back.

Thrusting my fingers into his hair, my mouth is feverish against his, like I can’t get enough of him. He devours me equally, and just when I’m wondering if this is what he was talking about…kissing me under the stars…he suddenly pulls back.

He lets out a slow exhale. “We’re going to miss it if we keep this up.” He says. His eyes are heated as he gazes down at me.

“Miss what?” I breathe, trying to steady my own breathing.

“Lie down.” He says as he sits on the blanket, tugging me with him.

We lie down with the sides of our bodies touching, facing up to the star-lit sky. His fingers slide between mine, palm to palm.

“It’s beautiful…such a clear night.” I say, softly.

“It’s perfect…we should be able to see the meteor shower.” His fingers stroke mine, tenderly.

“Really?” I ask, not knowing much about astronomy. “Don’t we need a telescope or binoculars?” I glance at him and see the twinkling stars reflected in his beautiful blue eyes.

“No. You can see them like this…you just need a clear, dark night. It helps to be away from the city.” He turns his head and looks in my eyes. “But you do need to look up at the sky.”

I smile. “I can see them in your eyes. It’s actually quite amazing…all these tiny orbs…you look quite dreamy.”

His grin broadens. “You’re looking rather dreamy yourself…but I really don’t want you to miss it.”

“Okay.” I smile and then turn to gaze up at the twinkling lights in the dark sky. The air is chilly as I inhale the scent of the ocean. The stretch of lawn we are lying on is set up high on a hill, making it feel like we are even closer to the sky.

A minute later, the sky is alight with thousands of streaking light strobes, radiating in all directions as they spread across the dark sky. The shooting stars travel so quickly, appearing as if they are falling into the Pacific.

“Wow.” I breathe as I make a wish to always feel this safe.

“That was a good one…sometimes the showers are kind of weak and you can’t see them very well even on a clear night, but that was an impressive one.” He says.

Rolling onto his side, he stretches his arm leisurely across my waist. His other arm is bent with his chin resting on the palm of his hand as he gazes down at me. He kisses me, softly and all too briefly when he leans up on his elbow.

“You, like?” He asks.

I wonder for a second if he’s referring to his kissing, which I definitely like…like a lot, but then I figure he’s talking about the stars.

“I love…it was like the Fourth of July.” I smile up at him. “Did you used to do this when you were little?” But I regret my question as soon as it comes out of my mouth. I already know Logan didn’t have the happiest of childhoods.

“No.” He says, quietly. “I’ve never done it…I mean I’ve looked at the stars before but never like this…I heard on the news about the meteor showers going on and I thought it was something I’d like to do with you.”

“I’m glad…it was really amazing.” I smile at him.

“Did you make a wish?”

“Maybe.” I smile

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” His lips twitch.

“Then it won’t come true.” I say.

“No, that’s wrong…you have your information mixed-up…you should tell me what you wished for so I can help it come true. Surely, you must be confusing your wishing wisdom. When you blow out your candles on your birthday cake, you keep that wish to yourself…what you wish on a shooting star you should tell your boyfriend.” A small smile plays on his face, but I’m not quite sure the meaning behind it.

I scrunch my face up at him. “Seriously? That’s not how it works. I’m pretty positive you’re changing the whole wishing-on-a-star-concept.”

His expression is relaxed, amused. “If it’s something you
really
want then you should have it.”

I laugh. “Nice try.”

“Okay.” He playfully pouts then rolls on to his back.

I wonder if I offended him by not telling him my wish. Sliding onto my side, I now prop my chin on my palm and gaze down at him.

I smile. “You know if you don’t believe in this whole making a wish and keeping it a secret or it won’t come true thing then feel free to tell me what you wished for.”

He laughs. “No, Emilia, not unless you tell me, but nice try back at you.” Wrapping his arms around me, he pulls me closer to him.

My head rests on his chest while we lie for several minutes, saying nothing. He smoothes my hair and then runs his hand down my back.

“Don’t think I’m crazy, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He whispers.

Lifting my head, I gaze up at him. Before I can say anything, he continues.

“When I think about the future…I want you with me and I will continue to woo you and basically do whatever it takes to get you to feel the same way.”

“But…” I start to say until he places his finger on my lips.

“Shh…I know what you’re going to say. We don’t know each other well enough…doesn’t matter to me because I know enough about you to know I want to be with you now and forever. I love you, Emilia.”

I slide my body up so we are now face to face, staring into each other’s eyes. Reaching up, he gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. He closes his eyes briefly and exhales.

“You’re awfully quiet. Do you want to go back inside?” He asks, quietly.

I blink at him, trying to find the words. I put my hand around his neck as he wraps his arms around me.

“In a minute…you’re right, that’s what I was going to say.” I whisper.

“That we don’t know each other well enough?”

“Yes, but only in a way…” I trail off. I’m not sure if he understands what I’m alluding to, but I soon find out by his response that he does indeed.

“We will take it slow…when you’re ready. I told you before I was sorry I was pressuring you before…I remember vividly trying to persuade you, even though I said we would take things slowly. I know now, it was wrong.”

I shake my head. “I liked your persuasion…I liked when you teased me and you had me trapped. It made me feel desirable…in a good way and I needed that…I still need that. I know what happened to me wasn’t my fault or out of passion…it’s a power thing. I still have trouble accepting it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t necessarily understand the concept.”

“Is there anything I can do to make things easier?” His fingers brush against the side of my face.

“You’re doing everything…really. I understand a lot about what happened.” I hesitate for a minute and Logan watches me intently, listening.

Then I tell him more than I’ve ever told anyone before. “He was the father of my friend. I used to go over to their house all the time. They lived behind us so our yards backed into each other’s. I knew something wasn’t right. My friend, Jenna, always seemed a little nervous when he was around, but I was young and didn’t think much about it at the time. You know how it is when you look back at something. You look back, knowing what you know, then there’s no mistaking all the red flags.”

Logan nods, his eyes warm, but filled with worry.

“We used to play dress-up and put on silly plays. We both loved music so we would dance and sing in their basement. Sometimes we’d sleep over at each other’s houses and that was when it happened. I was hiding in a closet and he found me.” I swallow as tears pool in my eyes.

Pulling me into his arms, my head is against his chest as I listen to his steady breathing. I find it soothing to my ears. He kisses the top of my head. “I’m sorry, baby.” He whispers.

“I want to tell you more.” I breathe.

He pulls back to look in my eyes, but still holds on to me tightly.

“For a long time I blamed myself…thought it was my fault, but I know now that it wasn’t. Jenna knew what happened…that’s when she told me he raped her. It still makes me sick thinking about it. She said she had never told anyone and that it could be our little secret.”

“What a horrible secret.” He murmurs.

“Yes. I kept it for a little while. I never went back to their house. I would sometimes see him in the backyard and I would run the other way. I’ll never forget his dark eyes…so menacing. He told me if I told anyone he would hurt my parents. It was awful. The only person who knew what happened, I avoided…I still feel horrible about it because I wasn’t there for her.”

“But you had to stay away…you can’t blame yourself.” Logan says, softy.

I shrug. “Eventually Jenna came over…I’m sure her dad didn’t want me talking to her either. He probably figured she told me about what he was doing to her. Jenna was scared, hurt, confused…to make things even worse her mother knew what he was doing to her and didn’t do anything about it.” I shake my head as a tear slowly runs down my face.

Logan gently wipes it with his thumb. “What kind of an animal would do that to a child? To his own daughter?”

“I know.” I whisper. “I guess I’m fortunate it only happened only once…a shitty silver lining, but one nonetheless. Anyway, Jenna would sneak over, every now and then. Her dad was threatening her. She said he kept asking if she had told me, but she kept insisting she hadn’t…I worried about her all the time.” I stare downward.

“I’m sure you did…that’s how you are…you worry about everyone, but yourself. You are the most selfless person I know.” His fingers brush under my chin and gently lift my face to his. “That’s one of the reasons why I want to take care of you. I know you can take care of yourself. I know you’re strong. You’re so strong; I’m in awe of you. But it makes me want to look after you even more.”

My eyes are on his as the tears pool in them and start to spill down my face.

“I’m so sorry, Emilia.” He leans and kisses my tear-stained cheeks.

“You want to be my knight in shining armor? I used to daydream about that…a knight would come in on a white horse and I would be running…he’d sweep me up in his arms and carry me away…carry me away from it all. But don’t you see how tarnished I am? I’m not good enough for any knight or prince.”

“You are perfect…why don’t you see that? If anyone is not worthy of someone it’s me. I’m the one not worthy of you.”

“No.” I shake my head, my eyes downcast.

“Don’t you realize that you light up the room when you’re in it? These stars are pale in comparison. No one has taken that specialness from you and no one ever will…you’re so beautiful it makes my heart ache and what makes you even more beautiful is you’re so oblivious to it.”

I shake my head.

“You have no idea how special you are…should I list everyone that sees what I see? Tyler, the Suttons’ son, the guy you do Studio One with, the guys on your team, every guy you walk by on campus.”

I roll my eyes, but I welcome the break in the seriousness of our conversation. “Now, I know you’re full of it.”

“It’s true.” He says, adamantly.

“Did you ever think maybe they are interested in me, because of you? Maybe it’s because you’ve never been with just one girl and that makes me a bit more interesting…more desirable.”

“There you go again…putting yourself down. No, Emilia. It has nothing to do with me. It’s you…you have that aura. It’s a special aura that draws people to you and makes them want to love you…look after you. Don’t you see that?”

“I don’t think…” I start to say but he interrupts me.

“You do…it’s very easy to be caught up in your spell…to love you. I know I do…your dad, Bryn, Rosemary and Sam, Chloe…all your teachers…even my parents, who are very tough to please, adore you.”

I shake my head.

“Emilia, it’s true. You’re a special, special woman. Look how you took care of your dad at a time when you were feeling so hollow yourself. You changed my world…you know I would still be headed down that dark path with Sebastian if I hadn’t met you. Right? You can’t deny that…can you?”

“Okay…maybe I helped you a little bit.” I smile, slightly.

“I’m glad you’ll give me that much, but honestly I don’t know how you don’t agree with everything I’m saying… How do you not see how special, how important you are…to so many…to me? But if you can’t see it, I’m going to help you see it. I know you are more than capable of taking care of yourself, but I’m going to do my best to look after you and treat you so right you’ll never want to let me go.”

“I don’t want to let you go.” My voice is shaky. “I love you, Logan.”

“I love you too, Emilia. You are everything to me and I can’t imagine my life without you.”