Waiting for Romeo (33 page)

“I can’t believe she was running…with all of these injuries…she’s fucking amazing.”

“She is…amazing and strong. She’s perfect…as much as she will try and tell you she’s not.” His voice cracks again.

“I won’t argue with that…Oh, I almost forgot…Chloe gave this to me. She found it with Emilia’s backpack and phone in the hall. It’s broken but I’m sure you can get it fixed. Anyway, I told Chloe it was from you and she wanted me to give it to you.”

Logan sighs. “Thank you.”

“You can give it to her
when
she wakes up.” Bryn says, quietly.

“
When
? God, I hope it’s soon.” Logan’s hand softly caresses my knuckles.

“I know…we all hope it’s soon. You sure you don’t want to go get some rest? I’m happy to stay with her tonight.”

“No. If you don’t mind…I don’t want to leave her. Besides I wouldn’t get any rest even if I tried. I want to be here when she wakes. I always told her I’d wait for her.” Logan whispers.

“Sure. You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

“Are you all still planning to go out of town?”

“No way. I know Emilia wouldn’t want it that way but none of us are in the mood to go away when we know she’s lying in a hospital bed…fighting for her life. I look forward to her giving me a hard time about it…I look forward to just hearing her voice…”

“Me too.” Logan sighs again.

THE LIGHT SWITCH GOES OFF. The voices disappear again. I’m alone and it’s so quiet. I want the voices to come back but I’m still so tired. I drift and drift into a lonely slumber. I wonder when I won’t feel so tired. Just when I’m starting to miss the voices…I hear them again.

“I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

“I know, Tony. I feel the same way. She’s so strong though and the doctors are very encouraged by her progress. They say every hour she’s improving. The nurses say they’ve never seen anything like it.”

Dad. Why can’t I open my eyes?

“She’s a fighter…for sure. She was born that way. Did I ever tell you about when she was born?”

“No.” Logan answers.

“When her mom was delivering her, the umbilical cord got wrapped around Emilia’s neck. She was wrapped in the cord…totally tangled…around her neck a couple times and her arm. Her heart rate kept dropping. It was chaos in the delivery room. The doctor and nurses were about to prepare for a c-section. It was really quite scary because all her vital signs were dropping drastically. I don’t know if she would have even made it if they had even attempted a c-section.” My dad sighs.

“What happened?” Logan asks.

“The doctor was able to reach in and tickle the top of her head. This was enough to help her wiggle out of it, but the crazy thing is the doctor said it rarely works. He was shocked they didn’t have to do a c-section, but he knew she didn’t have much time because her heart rate had dropped so much. When she finally came out, he said ‘It’s a girl…and she’s one tough cookie’. He was right…she’s still one tough cookie.”

“That she is. I’m sorry I wasn’t there with her to…” Logan’s voice cracks.

“Things happen that are out of our control sometimes…when I lost my wife I blamed myself for a long time. Some people blame everyone but themselves. Some people blame God. But then there are some who blame themselves…that’s where we fall. We’re good at that…blaming ourselves when something horrible happens to someone we love. It took me a very long time to understand it wasn’t my fault and to let go of the guilt. What happened to Emilia isn’t your fault, Logan.”

“But he was my friend…maybe I could have…”

“The bottom line is you tried to protect her and keep her safe. Just like I tried to keep my wife safe. Neither of us ever wished for something…to happen like this. It just did and now we just have to be thankful she’s still with us.”

“I never thought something like this would happen…I was worried about her, but I never thought he’d almost…” His voice cracks again.

“I know…and I know she knows that.” My dad murmurs. “We need to be strong for her…just like she’s being strong. I could never have made it without her when I lost my wife. I tried to be strong for Emilia. She was so young…too young to lose her mom. But I just shut down…as much as I fought the pain…Depression swallowed me. Emilia probably felt like she lost both of her parents. She really took care of me…she’s really an amazing girl, but I’m sure you already know that.”

“I do. I love her.” Logan whispers.

“I know…and she you.”

“I’d like to talk to you about something…” Logan’s voice trails off.

ALL IS QUIET ONCE MORE. I wonder how long the light switch will keep going on and off. I wish I could keep it on. My body doesn’t ache as much. I’m still so tired but not nearly as achy. The pain in my head isn’t as sharp. My head feels heavy but the throbbing is subsiding…that has to be good. I sleep. I don’t know for how long, but I’m relieved when the voices return again. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

“She’s improving…I know it’s hard, but we just have to be patient.”

“You’re right, doctor. It’s hard.” Logan’s voice is hoarse. “I wish I could do something to help.”

“All her vital signs are looking good…and honestly, you’re really helping. Her brain is entirely normal and studies have shown how people in comas can hear what’s going on around them. Just keep talking to her…her brain wave activity increases when she hears your voice. The way she has improved is a miracle and I’m sure a big part of her steady improvement is because she hears you. I’m sure she wishes she could communicate with you. You keep talking to her and eventually she’ll talk back.”

I hear footsteps. A door shuts and so does my mind. It’s quiet until…

“YOU’RE PROBABLY GETTING TIRED OF MY VOICE.” Logan’s voice is so hoarse that I almost don’t recognize it. I feel his soft lips on my forehead.

“They say you’re getting stronger every day, baby. I can’t tell you how much I miss you…your beautiful eyes, your beautiful voice, your touch. I wish you could talk to me. Let me know you’re okay…I miss you so much…I love you.” He sighs and I can feel his hand on mine as he caresses it gently.

“I thought I’d read again to you…I know how much you like this one…when you get better we’ll have to go back to the theater and see another play. I’ll never forget Valentine’s and seeing
A Midsummer Night’s Dream
with you.”

Ahh…One of my favorite parts of the day…Logan reading to me.

Theseus: Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour draws on apace; four happy days bring in another moon: but, oh, methinks, how slow this old moon wanes! She lingers my desires, like to a step-dame or a dowager, Long withering out a young man’s revenue…

There’s a soft knock.

“Come in.”

I hear footsteps again.

“Sorry. I hope I’m not interrupting.”

“Hey, Chloe. No. I was just reading some Shakespeare to her.”

Chloe…when will I be able to see everyone instead of just hearing everyone?

“I’m sure she loves that…you aren’t reading her any of those dreadful tragedies? I hope.” Chloe murmurs.

Logan laughs, quietly. “No. I thought I’d stick with the Comedies.”

Logan’s laugh…God, I miss that…and everything else about him
.

“Good call. I saw her doctor in the hallway. He said she’s really improving…thank God.”

“Yes.” Logan says, softly.

“I brought her some of her favorite things…I know she can’t see them but I researched coma patients. I read that even though they can’t speak to us, their other senses work.”

“It’s true…that’s what the doctor says too. What did you bring? I’m sure she’ll love it.”

I hear the ruffled sound of a paper bag.

“I know how much she loves music so I picked up her iPad and brought some speakers so she can listen.”

“That’s a great idea, Chloe.”

“There’s more. I tried to think of her favorite thing for each sense besides sight…so the iPad is for her sense of hearing. Then I brought some sex wax for her sense of smell. I know how much she likes it.”

“That’s really thoughtful Chloe.”

“And for her sense of taste, I brought her a cup of coffee. I know she can’t taste it but I’m sure you could use some.”

“Thanks, Chloe. I’m sure she’ll love it all…you know you forgot one sense.”

“Touch?” Chloe asks.

“Yes.”

“I didn’t forget that…I couldn’t bring Emilia’s favorite thing to touch…you’re already here.”

How true.

I DOZE AGAIN. In and out…off and on…I wonder if my body is making up for my accumulated lack of sleep over the years. I hope not or this will be the longest slumber ever. I think my naps are getting shorter…Logan’s voice returns.

“So, I was thinking of all the things we need to do when you’re better. Here’s my list.” He clears his throat.

“We need to go back to Thousand Steps Beach and have a picnic, go to another concert at the Bowl, go to Montecito, get married, go to the Will Geer theater again, surf in Venice again, get married, go to anywhere your heart desires in the world…did I mention we should get married?” He sighs.

“Oh, baby, I miss you so much. I love you. Do you remember when you asked if I would do anything to get you back? I wish you could say that now…I wish. I pray that there’s something I could do to get you to come back to me.”

I want to…I’m trying so hard.

“Well, you know how much Chloe hates Shakespeare’s tragedies? I promised her I’d only read the Comedies so now that I’ve finished
A Midsummer’s
I thought I’d read
Much Ado About Nothing.

Leonato: I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Arragon comes this night to Messina.

Messenger: He is very near by this; he was not three leagues off when I left him.

Leonato: How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?

Messenger: But few of any sort and none the same.

Leonato: A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers…

There’s a soft knock on the door.

“Come in.”

“Sorry…we can come another time.”

“No. Come in. I’m sure she’d love to hear your voices.”

I hear footsteps.

“Hi Emilia. It’s Sam and Rosemary. We miss you, sweetie.” Rosemary’s voice cracks and it pains me to not be able to see or speak to them.

I miss you, too. I want to tell her that her little lesson in defense moves really helped me.

“Hey honey. It’s Sam. What Rosemary is trying to say before she started crying…”

Rosemary interrupts him. “Don’t tell her I’m crying.”

“Well, you are.”

I hear Logan chuckle, quietly.

“Emilia…I’m not crying…I just had something in my eye. What I wanted to tell you is we love you very much. We’re so glad to hear you’re doing better, sweetie.”

“Can I tell her that I want to track down the motherfucker who did this to her and kill him with my bare hands?”

“Oh, Sam. First of all…you just did. Second of all, I told you we’re supposed to keep things light and happy. Right, Logan?”

“It’s okay. I’m sure Emilia appreciates Sam’s honesty. I know I do.”

OH NO, IT’S DARK AGAIN. I need to push through this…I want so badly to open my eyes and see…Logan…my dad…Bryn…Sam and Rosemary…Chloe. If I can just push through…I want so badly to open my mouth and speak. I want to see and speak…I’m thankful I can hear, but it’s like I’m trapped in a box and no one will let me out. It’s like I’m trapped in a nightmare…I scream and scream. I can hear everyone but no one can hear me. I hear again.

“The doctor thinks it should happen at any moment.”

“I know you want to talk to her…we all do, but please don’t push her too much, Detective Fernandez.”

“I understand. And we won’t…we’ll take things slowly and let her tell us what happened at her own pace. You don’t have to worry about that, Logan.”

“Thank you.”

“She’s incredibly strong, but I don’t want to cause her to have a set back because of the investigation.”

“I appreciate that…so there’s nothing new?”

“Unfortunately, no. But there’s a statewide all-points bulletin out for Sebastian’s arrest so I’m certain it’s just a matter of time. I’ll let you know as soon as we hear something. I’m going to grab a cup of coffee. Can I get you one before I take off? You look like you could use one…no offense.”

“I’d love one…thanks.”

Oh no…I need to say something. Wait. Stop.

The door closes.

“It’s not…” I whisper. My eyes barely blink open.

“Emilia. Thank God, baby.” He leans down and kisses me gently. “I missed you more than I can say…Oh, I missed you, baby…so much.” He kisses me again, softly.

“I missed you, too.” I whisper.

“You scared me, Emilia. You really scared me but every minute I sat with you, every hour that went by, every day…I realized there was something that scares me more.”

“Oh?” I breathe.

“It scares me that we may have never have met. You complete me, Emilia. Promise me you’ll never leave me and I promise you to spend the rest of my life loving you, taking care of you.”

“I promise. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Don’t be sorry…I’m sorry I didn’t keep you safe. But you’re back and that’s all that matters now.” His fingers gently touch my face. “I better get the doctor.” Logan says, quietly as he turns.

“Wait.” I blink my eyes a bit wider.

He turns back towards me. “Of course. I told you I’d wait…I’d wait forever for you.”

“I love you.”

He smiles. “I love you, too, Emilia and I plan on spending the rest of my life showing you how much…But I should really get the doctor.”

“Just one more thing…it wasn’t Sebastian.”

“Baby, you’re still groggy…just rest.”

“No. Really. It wasn’t.” I breathe.

The blood quickly drains from his face. He’s as white as a ghost…even beneath all his stubble.

“What? If it wasn’t Sebastian…who?” He asks, quietly.