Wake Me In The Future (25 page)

I sat on the lounger in our new home, relaxing and contemplating this, and everything else in my new life. It had only been a few months since my marriage but everything seemed almost perfect and it crossed my mind that I now had what I’d always wanted to share with Helen. The sadness that tightened my insides each time I thought about her was getting less painful and I looked forward to the time I could think, and possibly talk about her, without experiencing the pain at all.

Although, even thinking this bought pangs of guilt sweeping over me, because deep down I knew that there was still a fundamental conflict raging inside of me - torn between allowing the hurt of losing her to fade, or keeping it with me, as if it were the last thing connecting me to her. I sometimes felt that the only way of getting used to her being gone was to slowly turn off my feelings. But whatever I decided on, and however it turned out, at least it was my only worry now; everything else in the world seemed to be going perfectly.

Or so I thought, because even as this sense of security began to surround me, offering me a place to relax and start afresh, my old friend Fate was waiting in the wings; seemingly eager to get even with me over my success in spoiling its original plans. I may have thought I was beyond surprise, that my new life was becoming settled and perfect, but I’d let my guard down, and the card that Fate was about to deal me, was only one of many in its hand with the name Richard Green on it.

Because, unknown to me, in her room, Jane was sitting on the edge of her bed looking down at the drawer that housed her most prized possessions, including those things her previous self had wanted her to have. She wouldn’t know the significance of some of these things until she became adult and re-integrated her previous memories; if she ever decided to do that.

All she knew was that she had at least one previous life and some of the objects she was looking at were bought with her to her new one. The rest were awaiting their future retrieval from one of the many warehouses that were growing on all of the worlds, where accumulated possessions were stored over many lifetimes.

She took all of the things from the drawer and spread them out on the bed and began to inspect them, and as she picked each item up, she wondered how this collection would grow by the time she was reborn again.

She picked one particular piece up and stared at it. The silver band of the ring made a good background for the circle of gold that housed the two shiny blue stones that looked up to her……… ………like a pair of familiar eyes.

Chapter 26
– How bad can it get?

Ever since the wedding, Ramoon had been overly courteous and good natured with me, and although it made me uneasy, his change in manner had at least encouraged Rachel’s parents to warm to me, adding to the stability of my new life. And I was so desperate not to upset the apple cart, for Rachel’s sake at least, that I’d purposely avoided discussing the evidence, or the Cryogen situation, with my friends. Not that they hadn't attempted to engage me on the topic, but each time they did I’d succeeded in changing the subject and avoiding the issue. I just didn’t see the need to stir things up anymore, what was the point?

I was about to relax at our apartment and enjoy the first full day I’d had to myself since the wedding. Rachel and Jane were on one of their educational trips to the surface, courtesy of Ramoon, who had suddenly become happy to apply his influence for our benefit.

Since discovering Helen’s fate, everything seemed to have moved on so fast. The whole transition from then to now had seemed to have happened in the blink of an eye.

Things were beginning to settle down into a regular routine and I knew that very soon, I’d have to seriously consider what I wanted to do with my life.

It was also playing on my conscience that however much I avoided it, I’d have to discuss the Cryogen project with my friends, if only to find out what they intended to do with the information I’d discovered in Ramoon’s office. I couldn’t put it off forever. But somehow, now that Helen was gone, it all seemed less important, the urgency for me just wasn’t there.

I sat holding my drink as I stared at the info-tablet I was using to record notes about the changes I’d like to make to our new home. The apartment we’d been allocated was a standard family unit and needed to be customised to our own tastes, and although Rachel and I were happy to take our time in considering this, we’d got totally fed up with Jane’s impatience and constant mithering about the changes she wanted to make. So we’d eventually backed down and agreed that each of us would make notes on the improvements we wanted before all agreeing on a final plan. Our aim was to create a space we could all enjoy and feel comfortable enough to relax in.

I was just deliberating how a veranda could be attached to the apartment, somewhere I could sit in a rocking chair and enjoy the virtual forest beyond the vid-wall, when a clunking sound came from the opposite side of the room as a four foot high doorway slid open and an auto cleaner rolled in.

Although the structure of the room was self cleaning this ‘robot’, as Ankit would call it, was designed to check the environment and remove what it was programmed to see as contaminants. I'd seen these robot mechanisms undertake their duties many times before so ignored it’s scuttling about.

Shortly after it had gone into Jane’s room I heard a noise like a dull thud which made me look up from my designs for the veranda. It was strange to hear anything from one of the other rooms due to the noise reduction technology. However, I realised that this was because the entrances in the walls had to actually open to allow access to the cleaning machines. For some reason these domestic robots couldn’t just pass through the walls like we could.

My curiosity had been piqued and I walked over to the space where Jane’s bedroom door had been, just as the auto cleaner was preparing to exit.

‘What was the noise I just heard?’ I asked.

The quiet masculine voice that replied was quite disconcerting coming from a moving square box, ‘the bottom drawer of the cabinet next to the bed was half open.’ It said ‘I attempted to shut it but something was preventing it from closing and further attempts made it fall to the floor. Nothing was broken and I’ve placed the figure back in the drawer.’

‘What figure?’ I asked.

‘The colourful stone figure of the dancing female.’ the reply came, ‘I’ve replaced it in the drawer.’

‘Err, thank you,’ I said dismissively, not knowing what else to say.

When the machine had gone back through its own door and began its journey down the utility ramp, to the storage room below the house where it lived, the door to the entrance I was standing in re-materialised, and I found myself half in and half out of my daughter’s bedroom.

I was curious now, about the stone figure that had been described. I knew that those being reborn often took personal and sentimental things with them to their new lives, even if they couldn’t remember anything about them until, or if, they re-integrated their previous memories. But it was in Jane’s drawer, and it would be a gross intrusion of her privacy if I looked at it, especially as she’d not mentioned it, or any of her other possessions. But then, on the other hand, I already knew what it was, the cleaner had told me, I only wanted to see it for real, rather than conjure up the image in my head, which surely couldn’t do any harm, especially if she never knew.

I crossed the room with a distinct feeling of doing something terribly wrong, like reading through someone’s personal diary, but the urge to see something that linked my daughter to her earlier life compelled me forward.

I knelt down beside the bed and opened the bottom drawer.

The pink outstretched arm of a pirouetting ballet dancer seemed to be reaching up to me through the assortment of fashion glasses and what looked like a pile of small brightly coloured purses. I lifted it by its tiny hand and held it in mine. It was beautiful and like the statue of Robin Hood my friends had taken me to see, it was made of different coloured stone. It was cold and smooth to the touch and a lot heavier than it looked. I wondered what the history of this was and hoped that Jane would tell us if she ever re-integrated her memories. I turned it around and inspected the delicacy of it before deciding that it was time to leave Jane’s private things alone.

I had no intension of looking at any of the other contents of the drawer. I’d seen what I’d wanted and pushed the little ballerina back between the black and yellow bag where I’d picked it from.

But as the bags moved, I thought I saw a flash of blue on gold and not able to resist the temptation I moved the yellow bag to one side with my finger.

‘That can’t be! I said, ‘No,’ I answered myself, ‘that’s impossible.’

I lifted the object up and held it in front of my face. The world stopped. I looked at it like a devout Christian gazing on the Holy Grail. My mouth was agape and tears were starting to form in the corner of my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. The two tiny sapphires of Helen’s wedding ring looked out of the circular gold bed and their steely blue reflection appeared in the tears that had now started to roll freely down my face.

Then, all of a sudden, the full force of the implication of it being there hit me. I stood up sharply and my heart started pounding. ‘NO,’ I said out loud ‘no,nO,NO.’ I was walking backwards and forwards now, repeating over and over ‘no,…no,……no…..’

Then I backed up through the bedroom door and walked to the wall and banged on that, as if I could bang what I was thinking of, out of my head….. ’No!…..’

I leaned against the wall and felt my heart pounding as I slowly slipped to the floor. My head felt like it would explode, I just couldn’t handle everything that was swimming around in it. We’d never specified what type of reborn when we’d applied for Jane, it wasn’t important, I’d accepted that Helen was gone and was just beginning to cope with it. What Ramoon had told me must have been a lie, but why? I was married to Rachel and now……oh, I felt sick. I couldn’t bear to think about it, but it crept into my head like a sly fox sneaking under a barbed wire fence into a chicken pen.

Our daughter could be my first wife! My stomach became as upset as my mind and I took deep sharp breaths to stop myself from throwing up.

I stayed slouched down on the floor for what seemed like hours, holding tightly to the ring that glistened in my hand and the more I looked at it, the more I could see Helen’s hand in it pointing an accusing finger, asking why I’d given up on her.

‘What’s happening to me?’ I asked aloud. Then I closed my eyes, because I had to calm down.
Calm down. Relax.
Gradually I began to recover my composure. I had to give myself time to think, so I kissed the tiny sapphires and placed the ring back into my daughter’s drawer before walking back to the living room. Then I released the torrent of tears which in my confused state I wasn’t sure were tears of joy, sadness or guilt.

After a while, when I was able to think a little clearer, I realised I had to decide what to do. My options were few; I could carry on as normal and let Helen rest in peace. But even as this crossed my mind I knew I could never rest again until I knew the truth. And anyway, if Jane ever re-integrated her previous memories and they were Helen’s… oh, it didn’t bear thinking about.

I certainly couldn’t tell Rachel yet, it would break her heart, just like mine was doing right now.

Although I’d tried to push it from my mind, I had to admit now, that this whole confusing mess was almost certainly wound up with the Cryogen issues and in someway connected to Ramoon and the protestors. I should have listened to my friends after all. I'd been in denial, selfishly only thinking of my own happiness. What a coward I’d been.

I did need to tell someone about this though, and right now it was those very friends that I’d been avoiding that I turned to. I arranged to meet them at Simon’s apartment on the pretence that I was ready to talk about Ramoon and what we’d discovered in his office. I wanted to wait until we were all together before telling them the awful truth I’d just discovered about Jane.

Jennifer told me she'd been praying I'd return soon to help them uncover whatever it was that Ramoon was involved in. But she’d never suspected it would be something as horrible as this that would lead me back to them. 

‘Oh, please, no... .’ was all she could say after I’d told them my news. She was as shocked as I’d been and she just held her forehead in disbelief and stared at the floor.

‘Richard, this is terrible,’ said Earl, ‘we have to find out the truth before we talk to anyone else about this.’

‘I’d already decided that Earl,’ I said nodding my head in agreement.

‘We’ve been waiting for you to come to us about the protesters and Cryogen situation Richard,’ Simon added, ‘we didn’t want to act without you. But I guess Ramoon’s efforts to keep you occupied have been working.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I know you and Rachel have been over the moon about getting Jane so early but we think Ramoon had more to do with it than you think. And what you’ve just told us makes it all the more suspicious.’ He shook his head and expelled a sigh of disbelief, ‘We thought he interfered somehow with your application process just to keep you from persisting in your attempts to be involved in the Cryogen project. He’s definitely got something to hide.’

‘I never considered it, I was just so happy with everything working out so well and Rachel being so happy. But it does seem likely now - that he is involved in trying to keep me away from the Cryogen project. I just don’t know why he’d arrange something as twisted as this. Is he really that sick?’

‘We've got to do something to sort this mess out,’ said Jennifer, ‘We ought to go straight over to Ramoon’s office now and confront him.’

‘I am not sure that’s the right thing to do at the moment,’ added Earl.

‘All right smart Alec,’ Jennifer said with a sting in her voice. ‘What’s your bright idea?’

Earl looked around at all of us, catching our attention, ‘I suggest we attempt to make contact with the protesters and give them the information we’ve got, perhaps they will have an idea of what’s going on. I don’t think we should be taking this on alone.’