Waken (The Woods of Everod Book 1) (29 page)

“What about the police?” I asked.

“There are no police here. The Council will deal with it.”

“When?”

“Later,” he stated, like it should mean something.

“So, what? They don’t care that Kyle’s dead? Or that you’re taking his body? They don’t care that my brother was murdered on my front lawn?” Brother. The impact of the word reverberated through me. For two weeks, I’d had real family; a blood tie to the world who had actually wanted me. Tears flooded my eyes again and Tristan wrapped his arms around me. The normal calming sense I got from his embrace was there, but weaker, as if he didn’t have enough in him to give any to me.

“They care, but this isn’t a problem they can or even want to solve, Janie.” His breath tickled my hair and ran a cool breeze over my damp cheeks. “They already know that there is nothing they can do to stop Helena. As for Kas, he’s gone against Ericka, she will determine his death.”

“But what about Kyle?”

“We’ll take him to the cabin.”

With Kyle’s body gone, everyone started to disperse. The crowd thinned and Rachel appeared at the edge of the drive. She saw me watching her, and surprised me by coming towards me. She stopped a few feet away, as if I had a contagious disease.

“Do you see now?” she asked me. “You’ll end up getting us all killed, Janie.”

“Rachel, this is not Janie’s fault.” Tristan stepped forward, and she glanced at him.

“She chose to stay. You know that if she had chosen differently - if you had chosen differently this wouldn’t have happened.” She paused and glanced towards Tim’s car and the splattering of blood along the driver’s side door. “You let this happen, Tristan. You sacrificed Kyle. You sacrificed him so you could be with her.”

Chapter 26

Rachel’s words stayed with me long past the time I was left alone with Tristan. He hadn’t responded to Rachel’s allegations. In fact, he hadn’t said a word since she’d left. I wanted to slap her. To scream and rage, but it seemed so pointless. Rachel had proved she only cared about herself and getting what she wanted.

Tristan and I sat in the kitchen, just staring into the empty silence between us. I wanted to say I was sorry. If I had chosen to stay away from him, if I hadn’t told Rachel the story of my father leaving, if… None of this would have happened. But the biggest one was - if I hadn’t distracted Kyle? There was no avoiding the fact that I was to blame for his death.

“Tristan…” He looked at me and I flinched under his heavy gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Janie,” he said. “It’s nobody’s fault.”

“You don’t understand. When they were fighting…” I swallowed the bile creeping up my throat. “I made a sound and Kyle…he looked at me. I distracted him. That’s why he died. I killed my own brother.”

I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He just sat there staring at me, his face impossibly pale. He rose slowly. I thought he was going to leave, but instead he walked around the table and put his hands on either side of my face, turning it up to his. “You did not kill him, Janie. There was nothing you could’ve done to stop Kas.” He kissed my forehead. “His strength his wolf has is beyond any human’s ability to subdue.”

I clenched my eyes closed, trying to block the image of his twisted smile as he killed Kyle. “I saw her watching. Elin is here.”

“I figured.” He let go of my face and slammed his hand on the table, rattling our cups.

“Why would he risk breaking Ericka’s orders?” I asked.

His fingers speared through his hair, leaving deep grooves behind. “She must have promised Kas protection.”

“But how can she protect him against Ericka?”

He stared at me a moment. “If she’s an Alpha, she can claim him.”

“And that’s it? The Council can’t do anything? Ericka can’t do anything?” I wanted to rage and throw things. How could Kyle’s death go unavenged? If Kas walked away from what he did, where was the justice?

“She could challenge Helena. But that won’t happen. There’s no way she’ll kill her own daughter.”

It was hard to imagine Ericka as a loving mother. For my first few weeks she’d just been the kindly librarian, maybe a bit distant, but once discovering I was her granddaughter she’d become remote. If she loved Elin, shouldn’t she love her granddaughter? Then again, maybe it was me. My own parents couldn’t love me, so could I really blame my grandmother for not loving me either?

“Why didn’t Elin just kill me when I was born?”

“I don’t know, Janie.” He came around the table and pressed my head to his shoulder. “I wish I did, but whatever her reasons, I’m glad she didn’t.”

“What now?”

“We go to the cabin. We take care of Kyle and then we wait.”

Kyle. For a brief moment, I had forgotten and sunk back into wallowing in my own self-pity.
What kind of person does that?
Maybe I was more like Elin than I wanted to admit.

“Stop it,” Tristan’s voice rumbled through his chest.

“Stop what?”

“You’re blaming yourself. I can feel how tense you are. You’re trying to keep yourself apart from me. This is Helena’s doing. Helena and Kas.”

“I know that, but still…I just stood there. I just stood there and watched him die.”

He rubbed circles along my back, numbing the shame I felt. The front door banged open and Justin flew into the kitchen, Seth right behind him.

“Are you okay?”

I didn’t move away from Tristan. I selfishly wanted his hands on me. I gave a weak smile. “I’m fine, Justin.”

He sank into one of the chairs and ran his hand across his mouth. Disbelief shadowed his face. “What the hell are we going to tell Dad?”

We didn’t have to tell Tim anything. By the time he got home, the radio stations had already announced the death of Kyle Long from an animal attack. Explaining that it had happened in our driveway and that I had witnessed it was a bit more difficult.

“Janie, I think we need to call your psychologist. You should talk to someone. Even if it’s just Dr. Conn.”

“No! I’m not ready to talk to her yet. Please, I just need to get away for a few days. I can’t look at the drive or your car.” One of the townspeople had come back after the crowd dispersed and washed away the blood that had sprayed across Tim’s car. The dirt and gravel where Kyle had lain had been shoveled aside and covered with a pile from the ditch.

“We’ll go into Montrose for a few days.”

“No!” Tristan and I shouted at the same time. Tim straightened up, looking at us curiously.

“Tim, I think it would be best if Janie came with me went up to my parents’ cabin. Kyle’s girlfriend, Samara, needs all the support she can get. And we’ll be having his funeral tomorrow.”

Tristan’s words worked and we made plans to head out the next morning. He didn’t leave until late that night and when he did, I curled onto my bed, a pillow hugged to my chest already damp with tears.

Tim cracked the door open and peeked in. When he saw me, he came and sat on the edge of the bed. Lifting a hand, he smoothed my hair back from my forehead. “Hey, sweetie. You doing okay?”

I tried to answer but even trying to form words caused my nose of tingle and tears to well.

“It’s okay to be hurting. You don’t need to hold this inside of you. I remember after the car accident and your mom left again, you didn’t talk for weeks.”

I wanted to tell him that this was different. When Elin left, I didn’t talk because I’d known how hurt he would have been when I said I was glad she’d gone.

“Justin and you are my family. But Kyle was...”

“Your brother.”

I swallowed a lump of pain. “He was the only one of them who wanted me.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Talking makes it too real,” I finally said, shaking my head.

“Then don’t.” He pulled the pillow from my arms and lifted me onto his lap, cuddling my head to his shoulder like he did the first time he’d found me cowering in my bed. Back then, he’d unknowingly protected me from Elin’s wrath, now he protected me from the aftermath.

I closed my eyes and sank into his embrace, letting the tears and hurt flow out. Tomorrow I would face the reality of Kyle’s death. I was supposed to be their cure. Instead, I was the reason Elin was coming back. I was the reason my brother died.

Chapter 27

The ride to the cabin was different this time. Any enjoyment at spending time with Tristan was erased by the devastating reason for the trip. Even Justin sat subdued in the backseat.

I needed the calm the ride gave me. Lukas would be at the cabin, and I was determined to keep my promise to myself, that I wouldn’t let the past control me anymore. I could handle this. I had too, for Samara. For Kyle.

We gathered at the waterfall. All Lycan, except Justin and me. Even Ericka had come. Samara stood next to her at the water’s edge holding a golden urn. She was ethereal in her pale gray gown. A breeze pulled at its flowing length, billowing it like wings. Wisps of her pale blond hair fluttered around her impassive face.

Ericka stepped forward, her voice breaking the silence. “Kyle was strong. Strong in spirit and in his belief that what he was doing was right.” She paused and her eyes fell on me. “He was not a sacrifice, but a warrior like his father’s people.”

Others stepped up, sharing their own memories of Kyle and tears blurred my vision as I realized these strangers knew my brother better than I did. I had thought they would resent my presence here. I was the reason he was dead, yet their words all spoke of Kyle’s willingness to defend me. Finally, Tristan took his turn. He let go of my hand and turned to face the crowd.

“The first time I saw Kyle he tried to save my life. Ericka is right, Kyle was a warrior and he died fighting. I didn’t ask Kyle to watch over Janie, he volunteered. He saw his place in life as a protector of those who can’t defend themselves. His spirit thrived on the fight and nobody could have stopped him from protecting Janie.” His voice cracked and I ached to put my arms around him. “He was a brother to me. And I will never forget that he died saving Janie.”

Samara opened the urn, tilting it to gently sift Kyle’s ashes into the water that fell from the rocks above. When it was done, she knelt and placed the urn on the ground. Leaning forward, she dove into the pool. She surfaced briefly before going under again and reappearing at the point she’d entered. Slowly she pulled herself out and let Marissa cover her with a towel.

No one spoke. The mourners parted as she passed through to the trail, and then began to follow behind her. As she passed me, our eyes met. The anger I expected wasn’t there, only resigned despair. A sob burst from her lips. Before I could reach for her, Ericka was there supporting her. I waited with Tristan until we were the only ones left.

“What do we do now?” I asked.

“We stick to the plan. Nothing.”

Nothing.

The next day, nothing seemed to be taking forever.

I sat on the couch in the living room watching the flames lick the sides of the fireplace. Tristan, Justin, and Seth had gone out to do some hiking, leaving me with the girls and Lukas. Lisa had gone to the gym and was working on trying to track down Elin and Kas. Samara was in bed and Katrina was baking. Everyone was trying to find a way to block out the pain.

Lukas sat across from me now, his eyes boring into me. I wanted to walk away, but I refused to budge, simply to defy my own self. I held a book open and my eyes glued to the page but I didn’t read anything, just stared at the black dots.

“My grandmother was a medicine woman.” His gravelly voice startled me, and I looked at him. “She was gifted in the old ways and could heal anyone she encountered. Until my grandfather fell ill.”

He rubbed his hands nervously across his thighs. “Warriors, chiefs, buffalo runners. Our tribe was strong once. My grandfather left the reservation, to find hope and life. Instead he found the mines.”

He looked away from me, giving me the chance to leave, to not hear this story about my grandparents. I sat.

“His lungs rotted from the poisoning, and nothing she did worked. The old chants and medicines had lost their power. When he died, so did she.”

I had heard the stories of the Libby mines and the excruciatingly painful death brought on by asbestos poisoning.

“You may not claim me as your father, but claim them. Claim the warriors who rode the plains, who battled the white man, who fought for their freedom.” He turned his eyes back on me again. “The spirit of the Wolf came to me and showed me your path. You’ll need to claim them to win against her, Janie. You’ll need to be the healer you were meant to be. The warrior I should have been.”

Still I didn’t move. I wasn’t sure why he was telling me this, if it was his way of apologizing, or of giving me a sense of family, but I didn’t move. I found my voice, “You had a vision?”

“The spirit of the Wolf has guided me since I was a boy. He came to me last night and I saw a battle for you, for our town.”