Waking Up With You (21 page)

“Emma, what’s her name?”

“You name her. She’s your dog,” I tell him.

“Well, she’s adorable and has such soulful eyes,” he starts to say.

“Jake, are you talking about Emma or the dog?” Paige interjects.

He chuckles. “My wife is gorgeous, but she already has a name. So, the dog, I’m thinking…”

He pauses to look at the dog again. “Mika!” The dog immediately responds and licks his hand. “It means ‘beautiful flower’ in Japanese. Learned that tidbit when I was in Tokyo for a week,” Jake says to us by way of explanation. Mika, it is.

The rest of the evening the three of us just spend talking and eating. Jake orders two huge pizzas from Mario’s, and we gobble up everything in a matter of hours. We even take out my old scrabble board and play two games while Mika is content to run around the big house.

At nine o’clock, Paige stands up and says “I gotta go, guys. It’s been fun, but I need my beauty sleep and you two need to be alone.”

Jake hugs her and we both walk her to her car.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I tell her and she nods.

I start to gather the paper plates and pizza boxes when Jake says, “Leave that for tomorrow. Does Mika have a bed for the night?”

“She has a crate and a furry bed, too.”

“Good, because tonight I intend to show you how grateful I am for your wonderful present.” He gives me an unmistakable look and I blush.

After we put Mika to bed in her furry brown bed, I strip off my clothes and get into the shower. The steam is so relaxing that I spend an inordinate amount of time lathering. The water pulsates and soft white suds of soap trickle down my flesh. The sliding door opens slowly, and I turn around to see Jake.

“You were taking so long, I just had to join you,” he says softly. “Let me,” he says as he takes the shampoo bottle from my hands, puts the liquid onto his palm, and slowly starts to massage my scalp. I give in to the pleasure of his hands till languidness overtakes me completely.

Water is spraying from the water tiles mounted on the walls and ceilings. We cling together, our mouths locking in a long, hard kiss. He reaches between my legs and starts to rub slowly. My breathing is uneven, anticipating what’s to come. He goes down on his knees and begins to trail his tongue all over me until he settles on that one spot. I’m squirming from the feeling. His tongue is hard and relentless, his fingers dig into my welcoming mound, and I lean against the tile wall for balance. The water continues to trickle down both of us and I can do nothing but surrender to the onslaught. Minutes pass and my muscles tighten until I involuntarily shriek as I reach that blissful state.

“My turn,” he says in an aroused voice. Jake holds me against the wall and then quickly enters me. He carries my weight and my legs wrap around him for support. His mouth is now latched onto my right nipple while I beg him not to stop.

“You like this, baby?” I can see him turned on by my response. I nod silently and urge him to suck the left one. With his mouth on my breast, he continues to slam into me. I want this to go on and on, though I’m panting for completion.

“Jake!” I scream his name as I lose control of my body again. Soon after that, a loud curse escapes his lips as he fills me up with his load. In our weakness, we hold on to each other, as the water streams down our bodies and faces. As he turns off the shower, he reaches for a bath towel and tenderly dries my hair and body,

We both lie on the bed, thoroughly spent.

“You are so beautiful, Emma,” he says to me while looking at my face. I blush. Is this after-sex talk or does he see something I don’t? I lightly caress his hand.

After some time, he leans on one arm and begins to rub the towel all over my body.

“Umm…” the sound escapes my lips unwillingly. His movements are causing a familiar build-up inside me.

“Should I stop?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

I want to say ‘yes’ but I shake my head.

“I don’t think you’re quite dry down here,” he whispers as he gently rubs a part of the towel on my lower body. “In fact, I think you’re getting wet again.” He takes my hand and I feel him at attention once again. I stroke him and he moans.

He rolls me on top of his body and then swiftly enters me. “Ride me,” he commands, and I start to meet his thrusts slowly and then at a much faster pace. His hands hungrily touch and pinch my breasts, and I know it won’t be long before I’ll collapse on his chest from the satisfaction.

“I’m about to…” I say to him. In response, he clasps my hips and moves even faster. His groan is loud and I’m oblivious to anything but my own intense gratification. My body drops onto his and I shower his lips and face with my many kisses.

I roll onto his side once again and he nuzzles me so sweetly. We sleep side by side, our hands clasped tightly. My last thought is that line from my favorite Neruda poem: “so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
Good night, my love
.

The shrill sound of his alarm wakes me up. I glance at the bedside clock and it’s eight in the morning. Then it hits me hard. Today’s the twenty-third. Jake’s going to Beverly Hills to meet with Christina. Where was she all this time? Was she away? Is she coming back today? Was I the substitute lover to take care of his needs?

I feel Jake getting up to go for a shower, but I keep my eyes closed and my back turned away. I can’t trust myself not to react like the insanely jealous woman I am right now. Jake has never been anything but kind and wonderful, but why is he acting wickedly? If he loves her, why is he cheating on her? If it’s over between them, why is he still meeting with her?

I want to accost him and demand answers, but I hold myself in check, knowing I don’t have any rights where he’s concerned.
Grow up, grow up, grow up, Emma
. This is an arranged marriage. We are sleeping together like two consenting adults. Nothing more.

I hear him coming out of the bathroom. He goes to his walk-in closet to pick out his clothes. He probably wants to look his best for her. He comes to my side of the bed, and I keep my eyes closed so that he thinks I’m still sleeping. He bends over to kiss my cheek and I smell his familiar after-shave. I almost moan from my unbidden thoughts.
He is killing me
.

As soon as the bedroom door shuts, I sit down and rest my head on my knees while I mull over my options. The way I see it, no matter what decision I make, it’s damned if I do and damned if I don’t. I am literally paralyzed from trying to analyze everything over and over again. I need Paige.

“So how was the rest of the evening, you little lovebirds,” Paige says by way of greeting.

“Are you doing anything today?” I ask her point-blank, ignoring the usual polite conversation starters.

“Not really, though I may meet up with Mark at around six. Okay, what’s going on now?”

“Please come over. I’m going crazy counting the minutes till Jake returns.”

She probably senses the deep anxiety in my voice, so she replies tersely, “I’ll be right there.”

I put on my robe, and go out and see Mika scurrying my way. She is jumping up and down and I can’t help but be charmed by her antics. I pick her up and bring her outside to go potty. Paige arrives and finds me rubbing Mika. “Good doggie.”

Paige gets out of the car, puts her shades over her head, and asks, “And what about you? Why are you in a tizzy?”

“Let’s have breakfast and I’ll tell you all about it,” I tell her with a sigh.

I put a scoop of kibbles on Mika’s bowl and some fresh water on the other side. I want comfort food. I need it badly. I go to the fridge and take out the milk. I get the cocoa, sugar, and sweet rice.

“Paige, are you okay with chocolate porridge?”

“Chocolate porridge? Yum! Haven’t had that in months.”

I start putting the ingredients together and let them boil in the pot.

I set the table with placemats, napkins, glasses, two bowls, and spoons. Paige eyes me with a frown, but says nothing. She’s obviously waiting for me to say what’s on my mind.

We’re both seated but no one is talking.

“Okay, I give up!” she says loudly. “Em, spit it out.”

“He’s with Christina right now,” I simply say.

“And?… Wait, I don’t understand.” Paige looks bewildered.

“What do you mean you don’t understand? Don’t you get it? He’s back with her.”

“Whoa! You may be jumping to the wrong conclusion, Em.”

“What other reason would there be for them to be together in Beverly Hills?”

“Shopping?” she says feebly.

“Paige, I’m not amused. I’ve known about this since after the Christmas party. I bottled it up, thinking it might not push through. But, today, his alarm rings. He gets out of bed, dresses up, puts on my favorite after-shave, and leaves. To be with her. That’s right – to be with the freaking perfect woman of the world.” My voice steadily rises. I know I sound like a nut job.

“Calm down, sweetie,” Paige reaches over to touch my hand. “Look, I saw the two of you last night. It was like you were in your own little world. That’s why I made myself scarce. I can’t believe that Jake is the kind of guy who would be two-timing you or her, if she’s the girlfriend. It is absolutely preposterous. You gotta have a little more faith in your man.” Paige looks like she sincerely means what she’s saying.

I check on the porridge. It’s done, and I spoon some into a serving bowl and bring it over to the table. Paige and I get a few spoonsful and eat in silence.

“Paige, I want to believe he’s a great guy. Because he is, in every way. But what conceivable reason would there be for him to be meeting with her today? My guess is that she’s been away since the week of the party. She hasn’t been tweeting or doing anything on social media. She’s probably back in town and back in the picture. Now she’s back, I, the convenient bedmate, am being pushed out,” I say with bitterness.

“Convenient bedmate? What?” Paige is clearly confused.

“I didn’t want to tell you because I wasn’t sure if anything had changed. But we’ve been sleeping together since the party.” I redden from embarrassment.

“Now this all makes sense. You didn’t have to tell me, Em. But I haven’t changed my mind. I’m convinced Jake isn’t doing anything wrong.”

“But you haven’t answered my question. Why would they be meeting now?”

“I don’t know. But why don’t you take the bull by its horns and just ask him, for God’s sake?” Now she sounds annoyed and really frustrated.

“Because he’ll know I’ve been invading his privacy. Because he’ll be disappointed and think less of me.”

“No, he won’t. If he cares for you at all, he’ll think it’s natural that you’re somewhat insecure about your marriage. And if he does get angry, so what? He’s the one receiving text messages from another woman. Let him explain that!” Paige sounds feisty and ready to do battle on my behalf.

“Paige, this is why I can’t say anything. He married me out of the goodness of his heart. He never promised fidelity – just my financial well-being. We’ve made love. So what? I’m nineteen. He never forced me to go to bed with him. I wanted it just as much as he did. So, nothing has changed. He’s not leaving me or anything like that. What kind of ingrate would I be if I even dared to question him? I really have no rights here. I’ll end up looking like some pathetic loser who’s managed to fall in love with him even though he’s never even remotely mentioned the word to me!”

Paige is deep in thought and doesn’t say anything.

“Paige?”

“Em, as you say, you’re an adult. You’re the one in this relationship. Just go with your instincts.”

I stand up to hug her and we simultaneously start clearing the table. Paige plays with Mika while I wash the dishes and tidy up.

“You must think I’m so uncaring. I haven’t even asked you about how everything is going with Mark.” I give her a guilty look.

“Uncaring? Never. Distracted? Probably,” she says with a smile.

“Everything’s coming up roses with Mark. Thank you for asking.”

“Have your parents met him yet?”

“Of course! Mom likes him. Dad gives him the usual suitor treatment. You know, like he doesn’t say anything rude, but gives him a glare that says ‘you’d better take care of my girl or else.’” We both laugh.

“Well, your father had to go through the same thing when he was courting your mom, so he has to do the same thing to anyone who wants to be with you.”

“Yeah, I know, but men seriously are weird. They have this whole macho thing going on. They think women are so fragile, but the truth is, they’re the ones who need to have their hands held.”

“I don’t know about that, Paige. I think both men and women have their moments of insecurity.”

“I guess,” she agrees.

For the rest of the morning, we go through the old photo albums in my closet. There are dozens of family pictures, but the ones that leave me teary-eyed are those of Charlie. He was a choir lead for four years in high school, so there are a lot of photos of him singing and dancing. He had such showmanship that everyone always picked him as the most talented of the group. There are also pictures of him and Jake. Jake was the shy one, never looking at the lens. Charlie, on the other hand, was always mugging for the camera.

Towards the end of the album, I see a picture I don’t remember. I posed with Charlie and Jake just before leaving for the prom. I was in the middle of the picture. Charlie had lost a lot of weight by then, and he looked very pale and weak. Jake was looking sideways at me. He had the most puzzling expression, but perhaps he really didn’t want to be in the picture, or he was just concerned over my brother’s state. Jake has always been as closed as an oyster. The only person he ever confided in was my brother. I wonder what he was thinking.

“Let’s go have lunch somewhere,” Paige disturbs my contemplation.

“What do you want to eat?”

“Something light, like a salad.”

“We don’t have to go out for that. Let me make a quick chef salad.”

“Em, why bother?”

“Because it’s easy and you love my homemade dressing anyway.”

“Okay, let’s go to the kitchen. By the way, I saw that some of the decorations on your tree are lopsided. It must be all that jumping around by Mika.”